watch what you say, your opinion is just that yours.

By shorty31 Latest Reply 2010-04-16 16:16:39 -0500
Started 2010-04-08 12:03:21 -0500

i am very angry and very upset. reason being that we might lose two good friends, of one opinion, which was fine to me for he has that right but we as people some times have to use diplomacy, i might not like what you say and you might not like what i said . we are suppose to be afamily here i have notice that people don't talk like they did when i first started. what happen? no on care any more. that what wrong with the world today wome one allways has a gripe about something the only thing i can think of is that what ever was said it must have steped on some one toes. as for me there is nothing no one can say to me that i have not heard before. sugar mellows out more thenvinagar. remember that and i hope ways and the other gentle man stays. i dont' no about you but i no for my self i will really miss them.

38 replies

Roy531 2010-04-11 08:09:27 -0500 Report

There are times when something tragic happens to somebody and they are hurting or angry they will sometimes take something the wrong way and lash out before thinking about what they are doing not meaning what they said and regretting it later

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-04-14 09:56:08 -0500 Report

Roy love your new pic!!!

Roy531 2010-04-14 15:02:23 -0500 Report

Somebody said they wanted me to post my picture, they let me outside so had the orangutan in the next enclosure take my picture for me.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-04-10 23:24:44 -0500 Report

I am tired of looking for postings on Robbin/Turtle. Sue reached her and got her address, I sent a Get Well card, plus a pic of my service dog, Corky and I, then tried to call again today, no answer, so called our local florist shop and ordered a big diabetic basket of fruit, cheese and crackers, stressing the sugar-free candies that she loved in the one I set her before Christmas——they are so expensive, she thrilled, but so appreciated them, even walking the block to the nearby shop where they sent them from!

I hope that she received them today and it will help to boost up her sagging spirits! At least we can TRY!!! Pat Roth

Deb-G 2010-04-09 09:52:24 -0500 Report

Its a public forum so you have to develop thick skin…I agree…opinions are each to their own…but each is entitled to one…I agree sometimes the "delivery" is not quite gentle but also sometimes typed words can be read wrong…Public forums are a learning process and an adjustment to this many opinions in one place…it usually all works its way out…Not sure who this is regarding…but they have to do what they have to do…I dont think anyone needs to announce leaving…it creates more drama…and in my opinion thats not really about leaving its about the reaction in saying it…Accounts can be left inactive, just give yourself a break if your feeling irritated…it too shall pass

Wishing you all good health and happy days…


Anne56 2010-04-09 11:14:47 -0500 Report

Deb - I never thought of it before, but I think you're absolutely right about the drama caused by the "leaving announcements". And your advice to "give yourself a break if your feeling irritated" is great. I'll bet that most times that is all that is needed.


Deb-G 2010-04-09 21:51:33 -0500 Report

Yes Anne…I am learning my way through public forum use too and I have found this to work best :) Stirring the pot creates drama so I feel like thats what that is about, the reaction…but taking some time away, or resisting a post initially sometimes is just the break you need to read/think about it differently…and who knows, maybe respond differently, or not lol…This electronic age we live in is complicated lol…I'm trying to adjust too :)

Dena42 2010-04-09 08:46:08 -0500 Report


GabbyPA 2010-04-08 18:57:07 -0500 Report

The hard part about being a family is that sometimes we fight at the supper table. Someone stomps off, someone else throws the mashed potatoes and the others wonder what happened. It is rough, because we do come from so many different back grounds and even cultures that make communications difficult at best some days. I have been here for over 2 years now, and have seen it rise and fall just as it seems to have done of late. It is disheartening....

BUT! There are so many great people here. Sometimes you just have to stop fueling the flame and ignore the squeaky wheel for a while and let things calm down. The thing about negative and complaining people is that if you just don't join in on the discussions, they will eventually find another place to grump or argue. Unless they are good at arguing with themselves.

So don't loose heart Shorty. Thing will right themselves.

Harlen 2010-04-08 16:21:44 -0500 Report

Advice is like a buffet take what you can use and leave the rest is how I look at it
Yep sometimes I cant keep my yap shut if something feels off to me It feels off and yes sometimes I sey something
I put no one down and yes it would hurt me to know that I hurt somone here or anywhere
Best wishes all.
Hugs to all

John Crowley
John Crowley 2010-04-08 16:19:55 -0500 Report

I just want to say first that I am glad that so many people care so passionately about this community. I am so grateful for the kind and generous people who have made this a great place to come and learn.

It is true that there have been some hurt feelings recently. And a few have said they are leaving the site. However, I think after giving it a little time and thought, everyone has decided to stay.

We do all need to remember that we come from different backgrounds and experiences. A little kindness and respect goes a long way.

Thank you for the reminder to be kind.

Deborah L
Deborah L 2010-04-09 09:53:59 -0500 Report

Thank you, John. And thank each of you who have maintained your positive, supportive, and caring messages during all the discussions, regardless of their subject or content. I appreciate being a part of your community and the opportunity to continue learning and sharing what I've learned.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2010-04-16 16:10:50 -0500 Report

Just returning to the site after being gone for some time and sorry to see that this continues to be an issue. People are people - all so different. Some just seem to not have filters for what they say, which is sad for everyone. Don't know what all has been going on, but there will, sadly, always be some folks out there with the inability to participate in a productive way to a site like this. Ignoring them is the best answer, in my opinion. Participate with those you enjoy and find useful…leave the others alone. There's a lot of good information and support here, so don't let those few spoil the whole purpose of the site.

LadyDi - 26259Miller
LadyDi - 26259Miller 2010-04-16 16:16:39 -0500 Report

Another option - handle it through private e-mail rather than by posting within a discussion where it brings even more people into it, etc. Above all, try to be adult about it.

spiritwalker 2010-04-08 15:26:37 -0500 Report

I think it is best to think before speaking. Once something is
said it can't be recalled. I have know idea who you are talking about. I don't follow all of the posts. People come and go at
these sites all of the time. Its natural, people find the answers
for what they need and move on. This site has about 140,000
members. I would guess no more than 100 post each day.

Anne56 2010-04-08 14:46:52 -0500 Report

Hi, shorty. I don't even have a clue as to whom you are speaking about, so my response is only a general/generic one.

First, I agree with what you wrote. But also, I would like to add two points that others' have made here on this site, for which I also agree. One is that Emailing posts can be misunderstood because they lack tone. In other words, some posts have been misunderstood not because of what they said but how they "sounded" by readers. That can always happen.

The second point is that there have been some minor "tiffs" here that were played out. They were either mended or simply ran their course and are now over. That too is likely to occur on occasion.

Our communications are really a two-way street. If someone takes offense, it seems best in the long run to address the matter frankly and at least allow for further explanation from the person who initially posted.

When I first joined in December, there were a couple of people sort of "going at it". I read through a few of the posts and then jumped past the remaining ones. It was a tiff of sorts and the people involved were figuring it out. What was so interesting to me at the time, however, was that about 6 or 8 people wrote in to tell off the two people having the tiff! They all said pretty much the same thing, "I am new; this is childish; I am leaving". For me, that attitude represented an extremely narrow perspective of human nature. People sometimes have a challenge with another personality. Big deal! I love it when the folks take the time to work through it. It almost always stems from passion and/or hurt feelings. When it is something other than that, its probably that someone(s) in a pissy mood that day.

Most everyone here appears to be wonderful to me. (The only exception to that is an anonymous poster who occasionally wants to get a fight going!)

Thanks for posting. I hope whatever happened gets remedied soon.


imsuzie2 2010-04-09 04:20:01 -0500 Report

That was so well said, Anne. I hope everyone can just move on, ya know?


Anne56 2010-04-09 07:38:37 -0500 Report

Thanks, Sue. I do know; and many of us know. In mentioning the tiffs I noted when I first joined the site, I also should have stated that there were a number of people posting genuine and gentle messages to encourage arguers to move on. That kindness was impressive. Some people here have a wonderful ability to help, without taking sides and without being condescending. They seem to truly understand that everyone is out of sorts at times for whatever reasons or they simply need some support to get through a misunderstanding or whatever causes rifts. It pays to stay on for help to move on.

Hugs back

imsuzie2 2010-04-10 06:34:11 -0500 Report

Thanks for the hug, Anne. We need a minimum of 4 a day for good health! One down, husband has to give me 3 more!


jayabee52 2010-04-08 13:04:45 -0500 Report

I don't know about what was up in that situation. That must have happened in a discussion I am not following.

I don't like losing anyone off of DC especially someone who's been a regular poster. I miss anyone who is a regular poster when they stop.

shorty31 2010-04-08 14:14:53 -0500 Report

me to so we need to pray at home for some one who need to talk about some thing personal and don't how. and they just let off some steam.

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