im in denial!!!!

By gharah Latest Reply 2013-04-12 04:59:10 -0500
Started 2010-04-07 22:38:14 -0500

i have diabetes and im in denial im married and my wife and i just had a baby but it still doesn't make me go to the doctor or check my sugar nor does it make me stop eating out. i need help! im only 27 years old!

74 replies

BellaJ1977 2013-04-12 04:59:10 -0500 Report

I want to say first that saying you need help is the first step and anyone who can say that is courageous on that alone. Now, I think you need to be courageous for your family. I say this for anyone out there who is scared of not only how their life will change from the diagnosis of diabetes, but for those who have it for a long time and relapse. I have been in the relapse department. Luckily I caught myself eating more sugar then I should when I started getting more migrianes which for me are caused by high sugar levels. I needed to sit down with myself and say I need to do this for me not for anyone else. This is the biggest thing to realize, because at the end of the day it is still your body, so doing this for you will help you stay on track. It helped me.
My other concern is one that almost happened to my brother, who is only a year younger than me. You see, like you, he put off testing his sugar, kept eating the wrong foods, and refused to go the doctor. One day he was over my parent's house and told my mom that he vision was very blurry as of late. My mother made him go to the doctor and he was a grown man. I thank her for this though, because the doctor told him that since he was losing his eyesight from diabetes at a rapid rate, that if he was not seen, he would have gone completely blind within a matter of weeks. This actually scared him into action. He went on metformin and changed his whole diet. Two years later he has lost over a 100 lbs and is actually happy with himself now. He has become more outgoing, more active in finding a mate in his life, and most of all because of what he did he kept his eyesight from being permantly damaged.
At the end of the day though, no matter how much support you have, no matter what a doctor will say to do, YOU have to want to do this and change. Your child will look up to you for wanting to healthy for you. It will be something your son or daughter, can always be proud of, that their dad changed his ways to be there not just for them but for himself. You can do it and each day it does get easier. We here on diabetic connect will always be here for you for anything you need. Everything in life is a risk, even getting healthy, and with risks can come great rewards, which for you is a healthy life your child can look up to and a proudness in yourself no one can take away from you. I would say good luck but I would rather say you can do this, just look within yourself and see the strength you have inside you. You may surprise even yourself. :)

Wuario 2013-04-12 04:41:24 -0500 Report

No need to be in denial you're a young kid and have a family that will need you.Remember the sooner you start to modify your diet the better the chance to avoid type l.You can still dine out just cut some of the harmful carbs and add leafy greens or broccoli with veggies,I would suggest to keep away from soft drinks even if they say diet I couldn't control my glucose until I dropped all sodas I switched to ice tea now my fasting glucose is down to 125 and below.Start early and you'll be a grandfather before you feel the full efect of your diabetes.

Gingerbutterfly 2013-04-11 21:04:18 -0500 Report

Your baby should be your biggest motivation to do well. I lost my first child in April of 2011 , just 2 months into my pregnancy because of high blood sugars and not taking care of it soon enough. You are lucky enough to have that baby in your life. Make changes now so that you are there to see big things that happen in your childs life. You want to be able to SEE what happens, Be able to WALK with your child and also not have to say you can't do something with your child or wife because you have to have DIALYSIS. Things can go bad quickly when your sugars are not controlled. I know. I watched my dad go blind and be on dialysis 4 times a week. He lost feelings in his legs and could then not walk due to loss of feeling. I have had my ups and downs with it too, but loosing my child was a big kick in the butt for me. Please, make a difference now while you still have time to

sNerTs1 2013-04-11 16:13:44 -0500 Report


Ok now that I got your attention … stop and think for just a few minutes here. Do you … want to see your child grow up, go see them at their events in school, see their Prom, teach them to drive … get married, etc?? Anything pull at your heart strings there?

If you are not willing to do it for you, do it for them … your family. For your wife because a loss at your age is by far too young!! For your child because no child should grow up without a daddy!! But mostly for you, because you deserve to see everything and experience life yet!

I was in denial quite honestly for a couple of months when I knew that my bs was high and it took some prodding to get me into the doc as well. It was no laughing matter.

This disease is not the END ALL of all end alls. It can control you only as much as you allow it to. Take it by the reigns and control it so you can enjoy life as it should be for you.

YOU are in the perfect spot right here, we ALL have been where you are right now and I can tell you, if you ignore what is happening, IT WILL NOT GO AWAY, but it will slowly start taking things from you. I don't want that for you and neither should you!!

If ever you need a pep talk, you look me up! Educate yourself through the site and ask all the questions you want, there is never a stupid question. Just understand what you are dealing with before you harm yourself by doing nothing at all.

HugZ ~ Cheryl

locarb 2013-04-11 15:03:03 -0500 Report

Having the feelings is understandable. Acting on them is merely self-destructive. Take a look here and you may be surprised to learn that your age is irrelevant. There are children here and parents and grandparents of children.

At the end of the day, we all hope that you change your mind and mature to your 27 years. I lost a friend last year who chose not to. Please consider taking care of yourself.

Roxannescott 2013-04-11 11:31:00 -0500 Report

Theres nothing else I can say that hasn't been said already…we all have the same problem GET TO A DOCTOR THAT KNOWS WHAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU! AN ENDOCRONOLOGIST!

elba237 2013-04-11 10:48:27 -0500 Report

I understand what you are feeling now. I am a type 1 diabetic since I had 14 (I will be 51 in few days). The way I was diagnose was very awful and took time for me to be use for it but I think you have a very very important motivation to deal with your diagnose and go on to manage. You have 2 nice motivations, your wife and your baby. Is not so hard to deal on these days. We have a lot of things that help us with the diet and you are so young, 27, you are supose to still have the energy to enjoy any kind of activity that make you move. Walking in a park, bicicle, baseball, basketball, just think what you like to do and DO IT!!!. You will see that just doing those activities you like will make you enjoy and not think thst you are just fighting against something that can hurt not only you, but your family too. Go on dear, with our support you will do it. At the time I start with type 1 diabetes I didn't has this kind of help with the internet. Go on, do it for your wife, for your baby but most of all FOR YOURSELF!!!

PetiePal 2013-04-11 08:41:48 -0500 Report

Well now that you have a child this should be a great source of motivation. Just think…you want to be there and in GOOD health for your child, not just to provide and make sure they have the best life possible, but also to share in things like sports, trips, and life events for them. All this is not possible without taking care of yourself.

I think we all hit a period of denial or even shock where we think that ignoring it will make the problem go away. (Spoiler alert: It doesn't) I spent nearly 2 years really just happy with taking oral meds and keeping my a1C at a reasonable level. I didn't begin focusing on weight loss and some lifestyle changes REALLY until this past year. There were a few failed attempts before then but now with my gf trying to lose weight as well it feels like I have a support system.

Would your wife take the journey with you? Evening walks, gym time and even a modified diet of new tasty higher protein meals could go a long way. Being a diabetic ISN'T all bad and it's also NOT a death sentence (or a moratorium on tasty food).

Jan8 2012-12-03 06:19:08 -0600 Report

It's normal to go through periods of denial esp. because you are so young however all you have to do is take the first step and check your blood glucose now. Your baby's life depends on you. After a while everything can fall into place and this will pass instead of freak you out. I look at it the same as if I had a vitamin deficiency. You take the pill or insulin,then you go about your day. I don't mean to be overly simplistic, but it's a start.

red flower lady
red flower lady 2012-12-02 21:07:39 -0600 Report

Well, that is an excuse to let your self slide by. I guess when it either becomes important enough for you to gain control of your diabetes for you, as well as your family, or you have a major issue, hopefully not death, then you'll start putting the effort in. You know you have it and know you need to see dr and do the testing, meds, drop weight and eat right. It is hard work but will eventually become routine.

I think you need to talk to a counselor to find out why you don't take it seriously and your dr to set up a plan. Ask to see a dietician as well. Then take walks with your beautiful family to get exercise in. All these baby steps will result in a healthier you and you will feel better. We all have down days and you can over come them:)

McDragon 2011-10-01 19:09:26 -0500 Report

When I was diagnosed in '97, I like many here was also in denial. Oh, I took the oral meds, and followed some sort of diet. See food, I think! See food and eat it. :(
I'm sure many can relate. After 5 years of yoyo numbers, i finally said something need s to happen. I asked for Insulin so I could get my act together. Today my A1c's have run in the 5.8 realm for the last year and a half. It also helps that I am on the pump. While I am 300#'s & 6'2", diets just don't work. Walking is a chore from the nueropathy damage and back injuries.

Whatever you do, get off the denial treadmill. there is no help there.

bleonard13 2011-09-05 09:02:03 -0500 Report

hey listen i was about your age when my doctor first discovered i was diabetic had two kids i felt the same way what i thought about was what they would do without me then i thought my eyes are already bad real bad and i knew that diabetes could make u go blind i lov 2 read that would kill me if i could not read no more and about eating eating is ok just find diabetic friendly snacks again i know what your going through just try for u and for your baby u dont want your spouse to explain to your baby what happened to daddy do u lov and respect your self and let ur wife know how much u lov them by taking care of your self

jbird777 2011-09-05 01:11:45 -0500 Report

Diabetes is nothing to play with. I work at a local hospital in my town and I have seen some of the worst cases of complications from diabetes. I have seen severe infections that smell awful. There are some people who lose toes, feet and legs. Some patients end up having strokes, blindness and heart attacks. It can also ruin your intimacy with your wife. You said you and your wife just had a baby. Don't you really want to see your child walk across that stage and take that diploma and smile at you when they walk off the stage?

MEGriff1950 2011-09-04 23:50:07 -0500 Report

Ok I am still in denial after 8 years. My doctor kept telling me to eat 3 meals a day. I kept eating just 1 or 2 like I had done for years. I started out with a few metformin a day, later glyburide was added and eventually insulin only 5 units 2 times a day. My blood sugars were all over the place eventually I ended up taking 20 units of insulin twice daily. Mind you I am still am in denial. Finally my doctor set me up with a diabetes education class. I learned that I need to eat 3 times a day and include carbs with those meals or my body will make its own gluclose. Ok I decided to give the 3 meals a day a try as hard as it was to eat breakfast I did it for a week. My blood sugars started dropping, even to hypoglycemia a couple of times. At the end of that week I had a hernia repair. I did not eat for 3 days or take my meds, I hurt too much but my sugars stayed below 150. On the fourth day after surgery I started eating breakfast, drinking Glucerna for lunch and eating dinner. Surgery was July 14th on Aug 2nd I stopped taking insulin then about 2 weeks later I dropped one of the glyburide. Once in a while I really want an apple fritter so I eat it and count it as 2 of my carbs with my breakfast. One time I wanted a banana split so that is what I had for dinner, but instead of half a jar of hot fudge sauce I use 2 tablespoons and lots of fruit and nuts with only a half cup of ice cream. I knew that was not a healthy choice but it did not raise my blood sugar higher then the acceptable level. I have noticed that eating healthier I am not craving sweets like I used to. My point here is you can make unhealthy choices on very rare occassions as long as you substitute it for something during your regular meal time. I do not like the word can't I prefer being able to make choice.
Many people have given you a lot of great advice here. The choice is yours to make if you want to live a long happy life or not. I pray that you will Choose wisely Gharah.

digitaldoorbell 2011-09-04 22:31:48 -0500 Report

This wasn't "crass" at all. In fact, it's profound. I have been diagnosed only a little over 1 year (Type 2). No meds, only exercise and I stay in the 80's to 90's. I lost weight, want to lose about 10 more pounds.

You're right, it's awful to have. But we can effect our health profoundly just by making some healthy changes. I'm glad to hear of your success and (relative) good health.

MoeGig 2011-09-04 22:23:09 -0500 Report

I hate to be crass, but diabetes (the disease) doesn't care if you're in denial. It is actually the only disease I can think of that is totally in your control. Think of other diseases, like cancer or heart disease, etc, no matter what you might do, you may well only have a minimal impact on the results of those diseases. With diabetes, it's pretty binary: if you follow the rules, you can live a fairly normal healthy life; if you don't, you are guaranteed to me miserable. Every day you deny, your body is deteriorating. It's really up to you. After 46 years of Type 1 trying to do the right thing, I'm enjoying an active life style in retirement. You can do that also. I have a number of relatives who chose otherwise and had a miserable life…and early death.

peg50 2011-09-04 19:14:48 -0500 Report

Welcome to our community. It is perfectly normal to be in denial. I was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes over 18 months ago and still go through periods of denial. There were times when I felt like throwing my meds away, but I quickly realized that wouldn't solve anything. I have found tremendous support through this community. Take charge of your diabetes, take it one day at a time. You are strong enough to make this happen. Please keep up with managing your diabetes for yourself, your wife, and your baby.

flipmom 2011-09-04 18:43:14 -0500 Report

been there.. done that!! denial… denial… till they have to carry me to emergency room and all my internal organs been compromised!!! take care of yourself… first step is you must test and eat carbs in small portions.. we have videos here that is very helpful,,, take care of yourself for you and your family..

mama dunf
mama dunf 2011-09-04 11:01:59 -0500 Report

We've all been where you are now. Just educate yourself. Everyone has made great points as to why you need to wake up and get with the program. You need to do it for yourself too. None of us want the problems that can happen with this disease, but we all know that they are there and we have the POWER to stop them from happening. This community will give you the strength just listen with not just your ears but with you heart. Love to you and your family and hug that little one each and every day. Let the little one be your inspiration to fight and continue on.

katrat01 2011-09-04 09:47:31 -0500 Report

Denial? How about de grave? You abviously want some help or you wouldn't have come here. Think about that new baby. Do you want to see that baby grow up? Think about your family! Leaving them all alone. Who told you that you had to stop going out to eat? You don't. You just have to make better choices about what you eat. Yes, it is a scary diagnosis, but not a death sentence. It sounds like you simply need to educate yourself about diabetes. The more you learn about it, the better you will be able to handle things. Get moving and good luck!

leonmelton 2010-10-29 13:19:53 -0500 Report

you need to think of your family and go to the doctor for treatment.the longer you wait,the diabetes can start doing damage to your body and you do not want that.diabetes can be controlled and you can live a normal life.

Bethherndon 2010-10-29 08:06:08 -0500 Report

Ok listen here buddy. I am only 21 and just found out that i am diabetic. It was like my whole world ended. This also caused me to miscarriage. So then one day i woke up and realized i have my whole life ahead of me and im not going to let this ruin me. I will beat this. So get your butt up off whatever you sitting on and go to the doctors. Check your blood sugar. Start eating healthier, and you have a wife and baby that loves you very much dont throw your life away. This is something that is cure able. All you gotta do is eat good healthy food and excerise. Take you baby on walks in the stroller. Take your wife as well make it a family ruiontine. And if you want to eat out order a salad with dressing on the side. Or order what you want but only eat half of it. LAY off the sugar tho it can kill you. Im only trying to help you. The truth isn't always the funnest thing to hear but i only tell the truth. I found out in July that i was diabetic and since then i have lost 45pounds and almost free of diabetis. SO go you can do it. Laziness gets you no where in life.

douglasslb 2010-10-29 02:08:10 -0500 Report

I have been a diabetic for 40 years. I was 18 when I was first diagnosed. The first thing I did was learn all I could about this condition. I have stayed on top of things all these years and because of that I am in good condition even after being on insulin all these years. The doctors are amazed that I am in as good a condition as I am after all these years. I was able to rise my two daughters, see them grown and married and now see my grandchildren. If you want to be around for all of that you had better take an active role in your health. May God's blessing go with you and your family.

newbie51 2010-09-13 06:43:14 -0500 Report

Being in denial doesn't help. I was in denial for 15 years and I lost my leg and have several of the complications that go with diabetes. Like the others have said, you need to wake up and set and example to your daughter that taking care of yourself is worth the effort you put into it. She wants to know that you will be around while she grows up. So take care of yourself and when you are ready you will be out of denial for awhile. I am facing the facts now that I can't play with my grandkids like I want to. Take czre and good luck with things.

bicker68 2010-09-11 21:58:14 -0500 Report

You have to get out of that denial stage, I know it's hard but you must for your loving family. You don't want to leave them behind. Please listen to your Dr. check your bs and take your meds. Best to you and your Family. Take care and God Bless you.
bicker68 2010-05-17 09:12:02 -0500 Report

Hello! FIRST OF ALL: I give you tons of credit for being able to say "I am in", that is tough! I was a denial queen myself! I know how you feel!! I was diagnosed at 23 yrs old & I thought my life was over, I tool care of myself for a few years then lost my insurance & stopped testing my sugar & started pasking on mnore weight (my heaviest was 293) I have just recently gone back to the Dr's gotten a new Glucometer & I only take glyburide, no insulin & I have an aversion to metformin (upsets my stomach terribly) NOW I test my sugar at least once a day, I am supposed to test 2-3 times a day but I have to do what i can afford. YOU MUST START TESTING YOUR BLOOD SUGAR LEVELS!! It is SO important, it makes you soooo much more aware of what is going on inside your body & TRUST ME, it will help you loose weight b/c you know if you eat that choc. cake then you are gonna see that high number on that machine…DON'T LET THAT MAKE YOU NOT TEST use that as inspiration to compete with yourself!! This is why I am SO passionate about you taking better care of yourself: reason #1, I was 22 yrs old when I got married, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE W/O MY DADDY(diabetic too) TO GIVE ME AWAY & SHARE THAT DAY WITH ME…you're daughter will WANT you there to give her away…you WANT to be there too, you also want to be able to see how beautiful she looks…if you ignore your disease & it causes you to go blind, you won't be able to see that, or maybe you will be there to walk her down the aisle but with a prosthetic leg, or you may miss the day all together b/c you have to have dialysis done that day b/c your kidneys no longer work cause diabetes has destroyed them. You MUST look at every high sugar level as a little bit of damage done to your body each time your sugar gets high. I now weigh in @ 210, I have lost 83lbs & a lot of that is b/c of me testing my sugar & that causes me not to eat a lot of stuff cause I wanna see that normal range on that machine in the AM.
reason #2: Since you have diabetes your daughter WILL get it one day, it is a fact…not an "if" it is a "when" situation. If you are female & diabetes runs in your paternal (fathers side) you WILL get the disease, so she will be diabetic one day…it may wait for her till she is in her 40's but since you were diagnosed young YOU REALLY NEED TO KEEP A CLOSE EYE ON HER!! MAKE SURE her Pediatrician knows YOU are diabetic, it makes a difference & giving him that lil info could save her life one day. Another point on the same reason is that since she will be diabetic one day…to ward it off as long as possible you need to watch her diet, she can't eat candy like other children & drink sugared sodas, that just encourages the disease to rear it's ugly head faster.
Reason #3: since she is SOOO prone to it, you need to set a good example for her so she will know how to properly take care of herself cause she has seen Daddy do it. If she see's you not testing & eating a lot of sugary foods, she will think it is ok & BELIEVE ME it is easier to start her eating healthy NOW verses when she is older…I ate lots of candy & drank a 12pk of mtn dew a day, even as an adult & stayed in denial…I found out I had the disease cause shortly after I had my eyes examined & got contacts for my wedding (eye exam in nov) I was driving down the street in March (3 months after my wedding in Dec, 4 mo after my eye exam) & my vision was blurry, I was having trouble reading signs & things & I thought "I KNOW my Rx has not changed this fast, it usually takes 2 yrs or so if it changes at all. I mentioned it to a girl I worked with @ the time & she asked about diabetes,I told her my father has it but I didnt know about me, she said "when you get up in the am DON'T eat or drink anything till you get here (work) & I will test your fasting blood sugar, your vision could be blurry do to diabetes…I did exactly as she said…my fasting blood sugar was 337!!! VERY DANGEROUS!! I went to my Dr THAT DAY & THAT NIGHT i was giving myself my 1st insulin shot…Thank God for that woman who thought to ask me about diabetes, otherwise who knows how long I would have walked around w/a very elevated blood sugar?!?!?! She has passed on now, due to complication from diabetes but she may have saved my life. BE A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR YOUR DAUGHTER, children learn what they see & hear & they believe Mommy & Daddy, anything you tell them, they believe it. She her how to take good care of herself so she can avoid this horrid disease as long as possible & when she does get it she will have seen her father taking good care of his diabetes for years & it will help her tremendously! I PROMISE. My father & I took diabetic classes together (30hours) w/nurses, diabetic specialists & nutritionists, it was SO EDUCATIONAL…find one in your area & go to it, they are ususally offered at hospitals or walk in clinics & they are free. You can never be educated enough about this disease…trust me, unless you become more responsible & take better care of yourself, you will not be there to walk her down the aisle & she will miss you being there, that is something EVERY lil girl dreams of when she thinks about her wedding day, I am glad my Dad is responsible about his health & was there to give me to my husband. I am not trying to scare you or hurt your feelings, I AM BEING VERY VERY VERY REAL WITH/FOR YOU, you NEED a wake up call, I pray that God gave me the correct words to say to get you testing yourself & taking better care of yourself! Please communicate back with me on this issue I would like to know what you got out of my msg to you.
May God bless you & your family in a mighty way & may He touch your body & help your diabetes to get & stay under control!

ps: I am totally new to this so I don't know how to send any other kind of msg. Some help on that would be greatly appreciated! thanks.


bicker68 2010-09-11 21:40:36 -0500 Report

Very good advice, Just as I want to see my son Graduate and Marry then see his wife have my Grandbabies one day…

ccritch 2010-05-17 08:48:25 -0500 Report

Hi Gharah:

This is a wake up call! you need to take care of yourself if you want to see the beautiful creation you have made with your beautiful wife. Life is short enough but you don't have to make it even shorter. You can't be selfish either think of yourself your health, what if you had a stroke, heart attack or death from diabetic coma. It is hard to raise a baby alone. Go for a doctor visit, you are newly diagnosed you can change this around.

Pray about it. Look at your family and picture them 5 years from now. What do you see? or what would you like to see? You can achieve through god all things are possible.

Good Luck and take care of your diabetes.

evergreen2410 2010-05-16 22:55:46 -0500 Report

When I was diagnosed with diabetes I was 31 years old and my daughter was 2 years old..I was also in denial. But I decided that if I wanted to see my daughter grow I had to take care of myself. Now nineteen years later I still have some bad days but I got to see my daughter grow into a beautiful woman and got to see my first grandchild!! Life has so much to offer…take care of yourself!!

shannonlynn 2010-05-16 22:07:33 -0500 Report

You are young and have a lot more life ahead of you. With diabetes you have to pay attention to yourself and your health. You must get proper advice from a doctor, pay attention to your diet, take your medication, get excercise. It is not so bad if you control it. Don't let diabetes control you. You must be the one in control. Also, pray to God, He will lead you in the right direction. I will say a special prayer for you.

Twister 56
Twister 56 2010-05-16 21:06:15 -0500 Report

I have had type 1 diabetes for over 50 years now. I have lived so long ONLY because I watched what I ate and kept in tight control. You really owe it to your new born to stay as healthy as you can so you can see your child graduate and if they choose to get married. PLEASE DO NOT BE A FOOL. You have the third largest deadly disease in the United States. For you it doesn't have to be. I was in a car accident in 2006 and I have to check my sugars 10-12 times a day. Take it from me you will feel alot better if you stay in tight control and so will your wife and new born child.

GloDen 2010-05-16 20:26:16 -0500 Report

Think about what you want for your child. I was just diagnosed a year ago May 1st. Classic symptons constant trips to bathroom and unquenchable thirst smacked me upside the face. Went to the dr. and she said my glucose was 404 and should be about 115. Scared the crap out of me. I started reading and found that things I'd blown off for probably a couple of years were all symptons of diabetes. Because I ignored tthings like no energy, shortness of breath, for symptons of no exercise and boredom, I'm now on medication. I found that it was much easier to change my eating habits than I thought it would be. I went to the doctor this week and my A1-C was 5.7. My brother has been diabetic for over 20 years, started with pills and progressed to insulin. He had to go into the hospital in January and is now doing dialysis three times a week, 8 hours each because he didn't do what the doctor told him. You don't want to end up there. Most importantly, take care of yourself so you will be able to take care of your child. I was a fried food, regular soda junkie. I cooked fried chicken wings and french friesm, probably 2 times a week. Now I have baked chicken and salad, lots of frozen vegetables and plenty of fresh fruit or no sugar added. The American Diabetes has several cookbooks published. I have 2 - The New Soul Food Cookbook for People With Diabetes and Meals In 30 Minutes of Less. I use both of them regularly. Give it a try.

Honey12338 2010-05-16 18:31:08 -0500 Report

gharah: come on guy get your head back on your shoulders. Start using the mind the Good Lord gave you and think about your wife and child. Do you think it is fair that if you don't start taking care of yourself that she will have to raise that baby by herself? Being Diabetic isn't a death threat unless you make it one. Ask me I have been there and done that. I decided I wasn't going to worry if I was going to die and who was going to have to take care of my remains. I am doing fine now. Mainly my sugar is steady unless I am hurting or under stress. So go tro your family doctor and tell them what you suspect. They may even be able to set you up in some classes. I went to all that I could go to and was able to help some of the new members. Now don't get me wrong I didn't accept it I got so mad it wasn't funny. Just don't do what my EX did when he was told he had it. 2 times a week he would go to Churchs checken and get the biggest order they had and got all the sides and sat and ate all of it while I was working. Get in a program as soon as possible. Please Take Care of You for THEM.

katewar 2010-05-16 13:10:50 -0500 Report

I am a diabetic and so are two of my sisters. My one sister didn't take care of her diabetes like a she should. Now she has lost some use of her kidney's and has congestive heart failure in the right side of her heart. She never checked her sugar levels. She also has macular degeneration in her eyes. So if you love your family as I suppose you do,then take care of yourself for them. Diabetes has no age barrier. This is a disease that can be managed and you could live a long and happy life. Be a role model for your child. Good luck to you. And congratulations to the birth of your baby.

healthee2010 2010-05-16 12:44:01 -0500 Report

Young man you"re setting your self up for becoming either blind, ,loosing a limb or two. Please just seek medical attention before it's to late. Diabetes attacks the nerves and other body tissues..

shadow23 2010-05-16 08:25:39 -0500 Report

hey man i was in denial also, until one night i couldnt swallow, breath, and i hit the floor, and couldnt stop shaking. its rouhg, but im having to cut back on foods and doing a little bit of exerecises, but im sure you are like me and want to see your baby grow up, so if it helps do like i did and put it in your head , im doing this for my son, so he can have a father. but no worries whenyou get in the routine of things its like clock work, it justs comes natural.

dmk 2010-05-16 08:18:46 -0500 Report

Go to the dr!!! and check your blood sugar!!! it is important thing to do if u want to be around for your child!!!

clmnpremier1 2010-05-15 23:23:10 -0500 Report

it takes awhile to accept illness and resolve emotionally…there's no set plan to do this…step by step, over time, and then you can take inventory and see where you're at within…

Sunny.Knights 2010-05-15 22:17:05 -0500 Report

OK, so you are in denial. I think one resists change as well. There is a lot of changing to do!
Being depressed as I am, it makes it difficult at times to "care" about myself. But care I must as I am too young to go down without a fight.
Diabetes is one of those invisible diseases. That's why sometimes it is so easy to ignore. If you had a broken leg, wouldn't you care for it?
So make it visible by changing that which needs changing. You will find that some of the "new" foods aren't as bad as you fear they might be.
This is a wake up call to let you know you need to make changes in all areas of your life. Wouldn't you want your baby to do the right thing if diagnosed with Diabetes? Well…care enough about yourself to care about the others in your life that care about and need you.

Sarana 2010-05-15 20:14:12 -0500 Report

I know what you are going through…it's hard to deal with at first. But you know what my motivation was that I wanted to see my child grow up and i knew if i didn't take care of myself that i would die and that's just careless. Who can take care of our children like we do? Who can educate on how to eat and watch their weight and exercise so that they can ward off Diabetes as long as possible? The answer is no one…as you learn about the disease and educate yourself you realize it is limiting to some degree but you can still eat the things that you love but in moderation which we should do anyway. There are so many advances it's not like before…you don't die young from the disease unless you don't educate yourself and take action now…you are too young and you have too much to loose if you give up now. You can do it!!!

cantares 2010-05-15 15:45:12 -0500 Report

I'm with you. I know how hard is it to deal with diabetes.but if you don't learn to control it,it will control you and my friend,your baby will miss you…

mamc 2010-05-15 09:58:17 -0500 Report

okay I am going to be cruel GET OVER it . now add all the plusses that new baby needs a DAD so step up to the plate and get going. loss of sugar only bugs you for a little while and if you sheat you could go blind and never get to se you little one grofw up . watch your diet .god bless.kthy61

Elrond 2010-05-15 00:09:08 -0500 Report

Hi, gharah
Many of the others have heard my story before but since you're new here, I have a new audience. I was diagnosed as a type 2 more than 30 years ago. For a very long time, all I did about my diabetes was look at some food and say "I shouldn't eat that because I'm diabetic." then eat it anyway. Then, when I was 43, I suffered a catastrophic stroke. The stroke left me paralyzed on the left side for a while and forced me to retire at a very early age. The completely unplanned retirement caused such a financial disaster that I was forced to file bankruptcy so I eventually lost my house and car. Then, when I thought things were at their worst, the diabetes caused a major heart attack that actually killed me on the way to the hospital. Only heroic efforts by a pair of excellent paramedics brought me back. Now, I survive with an implanted pacemaker and a new insulin pump. Please, learn all you can about your diabetes and learn to control it before you make my mistakes.

dr8m1t4 2010-05-14 23:45:01 -0500 Report

Hi! Some of these comments have hit the nail on the head. Diabetes is a very serious condition. Although I was diagnosed recently, I have researched extensively to learn all I can about diabetes and its management. I think it's important to understand the conditions that can lead to diabetes, as well as the consequences of not properly managing diabetes. Genetics, being over weight, having high cholesterol, living an inactive lifestyle, and problems sleeping (sleep apnea) all are considered contributing factors to diabetes. Once diabetes is diagnosed and not properly cared for, other even more serious problems can arise: kidney and heart problems, vision loss, nerve damage, especially in the feet, and unhealthy skin conditions.
My bro-in-law thought he didn't need to do more about his diabetes since he was convinced that the homeopathic "medicines" he had been taking had healed him. Today a doctor told him that he had high blood sugar levels and damage to his kidneys.
I think it is important to "own" your condition. If you don't own it, you can't manage it. Learn all that you can about diabetes and its management. Search for reliable websites, such as the ADA ( There are many sites that address diabetes, but they are not all equal. Check out their sponsors to determine whether the sites are reliable. Read books, listen to podcasts or watch DVDs that address diabetes and its causes, results and management. Follow your doctor's advice. If you haven't already done so, ask your doctor to recommend a session with a diabetes educator and a couple sessions with a dietician to help personalize a diet and nutrition plan for you. Go "beyond the call of duty" to control your diabetes, and you can change your life.
I think it takes a positive mindset and an upbeat emotional state for anyone to properly and consistently manage diabetes. I have noticed that people who are afraid, reluctant or in denial have the greatest difficulty handling their diabetes. Man up, or leave your child fatherless; I'm sure you don't want that.

valeriebst 2010-05-14 23:30:41 -0500 Report

Don't think of this diagnosis as an end but a new beginning. A new page in the book of Life that you have the power of turning. Be tougher than it. Be stronger than what you think you want. Learn all you can about how to take care of yourself. You are needed now more than ever. Get your wife involved and learn together. This will also lead to healthy eating for your new baby. Just think what a great roll model you will be for your child. Don't obsess over any of it. All it really means is being more thoughtful of what you eat, how you eat, and going to the Doctor. All of which are great habits to build.
Good luck to you and yours. I hope you find the strength to accept that you have actually been handed a gift that will be trying at time and rewarding at others. There are employees I work with that are diabetic that turn to me, been a Type 1 Diabetic for 20 years, for advise and support. It's a great joy and love helping others understand the beautiful challenge we have been handed.

Rader 2010-05-14 21:40:54 -0500 Report

Hello my name is Jim. please read all of this. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes when I was 26 in 1996. I didn't want to be a diabetic so I ignored it and kept on living my life the way I wanted. I am now 39yrs old and the untreated diabetes has damaged my heart causing me to go into congestive heart failure. The symptoms are constant extreme fatigue, shortness of breath, dizziness and swelling of the legs, feet and stomach. I am limited to 2 liters of fluid a day and I have to go for six hour I.V. treatments every two weeks. The untreated diabetes also caused me to have neurapothy of the legs and feet. The neurapothy causes constant pain in my legs and mostly my feet. My feet constantly feel like they are in a deep dead painful sleep and I have no feeling in my toes. So here I set 39yrs old and fully disabled and I take 17 medications twice a day that costs a small fortune. I physically cant do the things I want to do and I now draw a disability check and it keeps me right on the poverty line. I use to make $20 an hour and now I have to live on $250 a week. The diet I have to follow to keep my health from getting worse requires 1/3 of my pay. Please take care of yourself and eat healthy. I admit it takes some getting use to but after your body purges its cravings for the bad stuff. your stomach will turn thinking about what you use to eat. You have a child that needs you to be around for a long time
Good luck and God bless you. I will pray the Lord gives you strength. we are here for you

2010-05-14 20:51:03 -0500 Report

go to bed one night and wake up blind the next morning like me.. then you'll take it serious…you really should pay attention to it gharah it is a big deal. Good luck, we are rooting for you!

Ree-ree 2010-05-14 11:24:55 -0500 Report

Hi I'm new to this.Congratuation on your new born! I found out I was a diabetic thru my job. I was in denial too,but looking at my kids made me think twice. I decide to go to my Doctor and sure enought I am a diabetic. I rather take pills and stay with my boys then having to see them from a hospital bed. So please denial stop and think Do you want to run around with your new born when the baby gets older or do you always want to feel tired and miss out on the fun with the baby? These are things that you really need to ask yourself.

RAYT721 2010-05-14 10:51:22 -0500 Report

First of all congratulations on the baby! Secondly I so totally understand the denial phase. You will find that most of us have gone through that with some taking a few days and others reporting to take years to truly do something. It's okay to take a deep breath because you have taken a form of action by finding us and while we don't have the answers we are a pretty genuine group of people that understand you, regardless of the stage you're in. Being diagnosed for diabetes follows the same paths to recovery as coping with death, job loss or other tragedies. You will get through it and find your own reasons for getting serious. Oh, it's a challenge! The first thing I did was run out to buy a meter because I swore my initial test was wrong. I'm now conscious of my eating, testing often, even lost some weight. I have good days and bad days. You will too. Please feel free to message me if there's anything that I can do to help. Just realize that one day you're here looking for guidance but shortly we'll be turning to you for help. Being here is the first step in overcoming the denial and the first of many steps on your journey to a happier tomorrow than a depressing day. Let's work together with education, motivation and inspiration. Prayer may not help… but it sure doesn't hurt!!! Welcome to our board!

scoopi321 2010-05-14 10:24:40 -0500 Report

susiemaeemily, you need to take your diabetes seriously, or it can be the end of your life. watch what you eat. there are alot of foods you can eat but portion yourself. check your sugar, take care of yourself so you can take care of your baby.

susiemaeemily 2010-04-19 20:02:56 -0500 Report

It is not hard to go into denial. Sometimes you feel a little tired, but you just keep going on. Sometimes we feel ashamed to go to the doctor we are certain that all the numbers are up including the weight. Do not let any of those things interfere with your healing. Your numbers and your weight may be up now, but when you return to the Doctor you will start taking your numbers and medication and in no time you will start to get on track. Don't worry about changing too fast, just make sure that everyday you do better than the day before. Let me know when things start to turn around.
Prayer helped me. and Prayer will help you also.

evie242430 2010-04-19 19:43:43 -0500 Report

As many have mentioned Diabetes is a very serious chronic, incurable but controllable disease. I was Diagnosed at the end of November 2009. I took it very seriously and changed the way that I eat gradually. It is something that comes to mind every time you look at food, but you learn to look at food differently. You can still enjoy the "bad food" but not as much as you use to, maybe once a month treat yourself. Don't see it as punishment not being able to eat the "good stuff", your new diet will be full of NEW Good Stuff. It takes a lot of reading and personal research online and with others, like your doctor, dietitian, other diabetics (like us). You'll be amazed how many people "come out" when you tell them that you are diabetic. Never feel alone in the "real world".

From the times that I have visited here and replied, it's been received with welcoming arms.

I think we all have ups and downs. Everyone will offer you advise on what to eat and what to drink. If it sounds crazy, look into it. The last thing you want to do is make yourself sick.

What I have learned so far, is take your meds, listen to your body, and stay positive. You have said it yourself, you had been ignoring it for years. Now is the time to take the bull by the horns and deal with it. If you have a bad day, just make it through the day, remember that You Are Worth It. It being everything, love, health, friendship, breathing, living, etc.

I find it to be a day to day challenge. I look for new things to eat that will benefit me not harm me. Especially my non-diabetic friends, it's hard for them to understand that what too much sugar can do to my body.

I have two diabetics in my family me, of course, and then my Dad. He was diagnosed over 15 years ago. He didn't take the approach that I have done, he decided to keep drinking beer and brandy, eat as many tortillas he wanted, eat fried eggs almost daily, fried chicken, rice, beans, anything that he wanted to it, he wouldn't check his sugar throughout the day, maybe once a month, if that much, and didn't get regular exercise - he pretty much ignored his diabetes. Except to taking his pills, although he would forget to take one dose. Gradually, his doctor has added heart meds, cholesterol meds, change his diabetes meds, blood pressure meds. Now, that I have been diagnosed, I realized that all those ailments didn't come with age but with badly controlled diabetes. His kidneys are failing, his cholesterol lever is high his A1c is also still higher than "normal". His doctor has told him that he can have a stroke any moment, and also recommended that he start insulin shots.

So, you have a choice continue on the road you were on before you found out and end up living on so many medications you have to have a checklist or change your path and start a relatively healthy lifestyle, (let's face it, no one is perfect) and only have to take allergy medicine :)

Diabetes can be controlled by diet and exercise, That is my ultimate goal, but if I don't get there and I end up having to take Metformin for the rest of my life I'm all for it, because I am worth it!

Hinboyz3 2010-04-16 19:45:22 -0500 Report

Well you got to get off that denial train!! Cause I know you want to see that new bundle of joy grow up!! Sometimes its hard to do the right thing. But you got to at least take baby steps, just say Im gonna start doing a few things to start taking better care of myself to insure I'll be around for my wife and my child. Your too young you've got a lot to live for. So just at least try to check you blood sugar levels from time to time. And push that baby around in the stroller outside thats some exercise for you too. Keep in touch we are all in this together trust me.

Andrea515 2010-04-16 10:48:47 -0500 Report

Hi there…I've been type 1 for almost 33 yrs and I still kinda go through denial at times. My baby just turned 8 mths old and I'm so busy making sure he is fed,changed and meds given that I tend to forget about me but what I'm learning is I can't wish my disease away if I don't do what I'm suppose to do at the right times I'm still going to have to do it later (check sugars, take insulin) and 9 out of 10 times my sugars are going to be sky high and I'm feeling kinda crappy. I'm a single mom and I guess if I don't take care of me for me I guess I need to do it for my lil man. Take care

kartist1 2010-04-13 20:34:10 -0500 Report

Dear Gharah:
It is ok to be in denial my friend. I t is of course nothing to take lightly though. It is a life-death part of living. I have type 2 now for 4 years and I had to become educated in the greatest since. You will be fine through this. Eat only in smaller doses if you can and exercise also-a little at a time until you feel good about the routine. Take your med's or insulin like I have too. It does not run in my family and I just got it. You deal and live your life normally if you can my man…


firstflight800 2010-04-11 13:04:35 -0500 Report

Hey there friend. Be patient. It will take time to find what works, but after some time it'll be automatic. Trust me, you won't starve, and you'll learn to enjoy meals again that will not be killing you. For me, and example would be a simple thing like hamburgers. It's not the hamburgers for me, it's the "buns". They push my numbers up. Orowheat makes a bun that is whole wheat and thin. Not quite the same, but they will hold a burger!! It makes a big difference not to have to eat a burger with a fork. Stevia powder is great to put in coffee or tea, and life goes on!! Congrats on your new addition in your family. Remember your new child when you start going into denial. It's just another adjustment to life.

Miminv 2010-04-11 07:29:39 -0500 Report

It is sooooo easy to be in denial. Something that helped me was to start cooking. I started slowly cooking things from scratch. Because I was working and busy I would work on one dish at a time. Get to know food, I am sure that your wife could use the help now. So learn one dish, be tough on yourself but don't beat yourself up. Just keep on trying. You can turn this around.
Turkey is good for you and is slow to digest. Make a turkey sandwich for youself and your wife. First dish done. Now keep learning about food. Good Luck
Congrads on the new baby!
You want to be there when your baby grows up and has babies.

lynnie100 2010-04-10 11:29:44 -0500 Report

I am also a diabetic I have been for a while now and I eat what I want when I want u just have to make sure that u don't over eat it I will give u a secret if u eat green beans in any form without sugar of course it will bring your sugar down almost immediately I use that alot. It sounds weird and the doctors don't believe it till I showed mine he was well shit he has never heard of it. I learned about it by accident, my mother was on steroid treatments and her sugar would go of the hook and she loved green beans so she had some for lunch one day and her sugar went down almost 50 points, we thought it was just a coincidence so we tried it again and every time she would eat green beans it would go down. Try it it really does work. We are all in denial so don't stress just do what u can now and it will come naturally soon. People are right if u can loose some weight it might help i have lost over a 100 pounds and my sugar is still high, I eat what I am supposed to and everything. I f u have a new baby the stress alone has alot to do with sugar, pain has bad effects to. all these things usually bring your sugar up so don't be to hard on your self. Do what you can and eat smaller portions more often in a day it works. Good Luck

Deb-G 2010-04-09 11:40:07 -0500 Report

I feel like you could read 100 articles on what you already know and have said, and realize…Honestly I think we've all been in denial at one point or another and sometimes mix in some depression about it…I just want to suggest that you need support, not just reading…what about a weight loss group that can help you turn your body around and your mind will follow as well as your diabetes…Maybe your wife will go to weight watchers with you…Its good healthy eating habits and diabetically healthy too…or if not weight watchers what about a gym or a local park district focused class or something…You can meet people needing the same things as you, and find support…Everything is easier with others…find your support system it will really help :) You can do it…and your new baby needs you to …

Deb-G 2010-04-09 11:41:26 -0500 Report

PS…I suggested weight watchers because they teach you to eat healthy…but anything of that sort would do :)

GabbyPA 2010-04-08 09:08:52 -0500 Report

That is why we are her, to help you get over this bump. I know it seems like a mountain, but it really is just a bump.

Here are some other discussions you might want to check out. They may help you figure out what your trigger will be.

Being diabetic is not a "no, no, no" life. There are a lot of yes' mixed in there.

shorty31 2010-04-08 07:33:17 -0500 Report

i agree with pam from kcmo, son you are playing russian rulet my husband and i both are diabetics his is worse than mine he has to take apill, insulin, and the pin he was in the 500 range all because he would ntostop eating pancakes eggs and bacon everyday. nothing wrong with going out to eat but do it right get a booklet on what you can eat count your calories and please take your finger sticks i watch my husband wither away right in my face. i could see his bones in his back i thought he had aids. when i found out i was diabetic i was angry also. but i thank God that i'm still here. it took my granddaughter to tell me that she don't want me to die to stay here to play with her i realize i have a lot to live for. every time you feel like that hold your baby in your arms and think if something happens to me who will be there for them.

Pam from KCMO
Pam from KCMO 2010-04-08 05:20:26 -0500 Report

I think dealing with diabetes is like dealing with the death of someone close to you. After all, the diagnosis means the death of your previous lifestyle, the death of the youthful idea that somehow you're immortal.

Denial is the first stage of grief following the loss of a loved one. The fact that you're AWARE of your denial is a good first step. Starting this discussion was another one. So, congratulations!

You're now faced with two choices - start to deal with your diabetes or continue to beat yourself up as you ignore your diagnosis. I encourage you to take that anger at yourself, turn it around and get really p.o.'d at your diabetes. (Anger is another step in the grief process.) Don't let it defeat you. You're so young, and you have so much to live for. As you know.

Diabetes control is hard. But there are a lot of people here struggling as you are, people who understand and (for the most part) support one another.

There is good news - after the anger and the bargaining and the depression, the final stage in the grief process is acceptance and hope.

One step at a time, my friend…

GabbyPA 2010-04-08 09:01:09 -0500 Report

This is exactly right. Even in my diabetes education class, they taught us this. It helps to know where you are, and if you are in the denial stage, it is good to know. You don't want to hang around in that stage too long, but something will trigger it. I think the fact that you are asking for help is a great step.

When I need that extra push to discipline, I tell my husband that he is allowed to nag me about it. He can bug me about testing, tell me I shouldn't eat that....then once I am rolling again, his diabetes police badge goes back in the drawer. LOL

Hold your baby, make that baby a promise that you will see him/her graduate, get married, have children of their own. Make a promise that you will be a great dad, grand pa and example. Write them down, keep them somewhere you can see them for a while...let that little copy of you inspire you.

MAYS 2010-04-07 23:10:11 -0500 Report

Welcome to Diabetic Connect !

Acceptance is the first step towards a successful attempt at living with Diabetes.
It's not the end of the world, you are not unique to diabetes and neither is it unique to you.

The second and most important step is educating yourself on what diabetes is and isn't, what it does and doesn't do, you must realize that the control and management of your diabetes is in, of and by you.

This should help you get started :

The first step is yours, your self motivation is already their in the form of yourself, your wife and your child.
Talk to your doctor, your family and us (DC), but first search deep within yourself and ask yourself this question, " If not now, when ? "


Cece B.
Cece B. 2010-10-29 03:54:40 -0500 Report

Being a new Diabetic,it takes time getting used to and there are wonderful Drs and the communities that can help you.It doesn't matter how old you are,you'll have to live with it by managing your diabetes with meds and most importantly you'll need all the support that you need