Joni's Story

By joni55 Latest Reply 2011-11-24 00:07:39 -0600
Started 2010-04-06 06:52:24 -0500

I have suffered from severe depression and pain for some 20 years. I am on disability. I was getting really discouraged and felt that my life had ended before it started. I finally decided that I needed to have a heart to heart with the Lord. I prayed real hard that night for healing. The next few days, I suffered from intense sweats, sweating, and chills. This went on for 3 days. Also, because I did not have the money to refill my Seroquel, I had been off of it for a few days. Anyway, I now feel like I have gotten my life back! I am not having any pain, except for an occasional pain in my lower back. I also am not having any of the negative thoughts I used to have. And, I am ashamed to admit it, but I was suicidal and did make attempts on my life many times. I had been in psych facilities for 7 years in the 90s. I am totally rid of that now. I am happy, maybe a little too happy for some people. I went to my doctor last night, and though he was a Christian, like me, he was trying to attribute my happiness to becoming manic. Well, that was never a diagnosis for me. I won't say I will always be upbeat or that things won't bother me, but for now, I am happy.

Praise God!

47 replies

joni55 2011-11-24 00:07:39 -0600 Report

A year ago, I had a setback that put me in the hospital for 10 days. It did cause the professionals to re-evaluate my previous diagnosis which is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Anxiety. I have come a long way since then, but it has been slow and frustrating but with the support I have had, I have come further than I was before the setback. I am more assertive and determined to make changes in my life for the better. Is a setback a failure on God's part? No, this setback has given me the strength to move forward in my life when previously I was just being satisfied with how things were. The trials that we have in life are for a purpose, to make us grow and prepare us for the plans God has for us.

Thank you for your responses and have a blessed Thanksgiving.

MEGriff1950 2011-11-22 16:31:04 -0600 Report

Joni, this is awesome and I believe every word of it as I too had a similar circumstance this year. Many who read this will not understand that our Lord is mighty all we need to do is ask.

I have been disabled since Aug 06, and pretty much housebound shortly after that because of a back injury. On July 7th I went to a diabetes education class, I met with a dietician there who gave me a meal plan which I started following. On July 14th I had hernia surgery, I did fairly ok for a week then had severe pain for 5 weeks. The pastors wife walked by one day and said "Mary take it to the Lord." I find praying for myself hard so I waited a day. I asked God to help take my pain away. Within 2 days I did not hurt trying to sit, was able to sleep better. By the third day (It took you 3 days), my surgery pain was where it should be. Just gentle reminders that I was still healing and should not overdo it. The real miracle was my back pain. Now I am able to walk a quarter mile, do some housework, cook meals and do the clean up. I am also able to go back to church. I got my diabetes under control during this time too.

Joni I totally understand your happiness and join you in it. We have so much to be thankful for. I pray that our Lord will continue to lift you up in his glory.

God bless,

meowbat 2011-11-22 16:08:34 -0600 Report

good for you!! i respect your belief, but it is what got you to survive. you made this change and found this strength all by yourself. be thankful for every day that you still breath, but don't sell yourself short. and there IS NO TOO HAPPY

MewElla 2011-11-22 08:04:22 -0600 Report

I so believe in the power of prayer. I have seen God working through my life so many times and instead of people telling me I am so lucky, I know it is not luck, it is the Good Lord working in my life and I give total credit to HIM…God Bless you…

Young1s 2011-11-22 07:49:30 -0600 Report

Good for you Joni55. I am a true beleiver that prayer changes things. I try to keep a running dialogue with God. Sometimes I don't like the answer, sometimes I don't get any answer right away, but as the saying goes "He may not be there when you want him…but he's always right on time". You are not manic. You are just basking in the goodness of His Grace. There is a reason that those attempts on your life were just that, attempts. He's not done with you yet. There is greatness in you future so keep an eye out for it and keep Him close to your heart. God Bless You!

Young1s 2011-11-22 08:10:52 -0600 Report

I responded to this because your story touched me and reminded me of all of the glorious things he has done in my life. It wasn't until I posted my response that I realized that your discussion was originally posted over a year ago. (I do that alot. Not the most observant person.) Once I realized my fau pax. I read some of your more recent posts. It seems that you are still in high spirits, even though you are still going through some things. As I said in my first post, prayer changes things. You are living testimony of that. I hope that God is and will continue to work wonder in your life.

P.S. Sorry that you had to put your dog down. I know it was hard. I hope that the new puppy will bring you as much joy. Though it can't ever take the place of your other dog, it can certainly be a comfort to you in other ways.

joni55 2011-11-24 00:02:16 -0600 Report

I now have a new kitten and puppy and I can't tell you how much joy they have brought to my life. I will always remember Charlie, my beagle, but I know she would want me to be happy and is looking at my life now with a grin.

sNerTs1 2010-11-08 11:28:27 -0600 Report

Its a beautiful thing when we witness divine intervention at its finest. Its even more beautiful when we appreciate and accept the magnitude of it all. GOOD FOR YOU!!

I wish you well on your future job hunting and hope you find one quickly.

Take Care Of YOU ~ Cheryl

joni55 2010-04-29 07:10:34 -0500 Report

I have an interesting quandry. Do I go by the dietary restrictions for a healthy person or sick? LOL My blood sugars have been running in the high sixties and low 70s.

sistahawkins 2010-04-27 22:37:50 -0500 Report

Praise God, you spoke life over yourself and that's just what Gods word tells us to do speak over yourself. Life and Death lies within the touge. Let The Holy Spirit lead you.

susiemaeemily 2010-04-27 19:43:25 -0500 Report

Praise God Give God all the Glory Your release from that pain deserves praise. You are happy now and will be happy in the future, when you feel down or sad, change to be happy God has given you that power. The more you use it, the easier it will be. Thank you for that uplifting story

joni55 2010-04-27 21:33:52 -0500 Report

Thank you! I am having a new appreciation for humor. I crack jokes in church when I give my testimony and the pastor loves it. He told the congregation that up until a few weeks ago, I didn't do that. There are a lot of Christian comedians on youtube. Check them out, they are good and clean.

It means so much to me that you would take the time to say this. It is so sweet.

joni55 2010-04-23 08:20:26 -0500 Report

I was thinking about this last night. I knew a boy in college who said he was blind and God healed him. He had the worst time trying to convince the Department of Transportation of this. He had to bring numerous doctor's reports and I think he even went there and they still would not believe it.

Rader 2010-04-24 21:02:11 -0500 Report

I believe God can heal. I have seen it many times in the church that I use to be a youth pastor at in Michigan. I would attend churches all over the state with my youth for youth events. I have seen the Spirit of God move over groups of people where they all would fall and weep at the same time. I saw my ex mother-in-laws hearing restored, my brothers enlarged heart restored to normal. his Dr recorded in his chart as a phenomenon. I have stood in the Lords presents and was so overwhelmed I couldn't do anything but cry.

joni55 2010-04-24 21:29:34 -0500 Report

I knew a kid in college who was blind and God healed him. He had to fight with the state to get a driver's license because no one would believe him. LOL

joni55 2010-04-24 21:35:28 -0500 Report

It is really amusing how the doctor's try to explain it away.

I have one doctor who is a Christian and when I told him I was off of my psych meds because I didn't need them anymore. He just said he hoped I wouldn't get manic.

joni55 2010-04-20 21:01:13 -0500 Report

I have not worked since 1996. I actually applied for a job today! I am so excited. Even if I don't get it, I feel I am making progress. I have one concern. They asked for my grade point average. I have ADD and although most of my courses were okay, I did do poorly in History and Old Testament and that kept my grade point average down. I do very poorly on tests. I always freeze up. I can explain everything to someone before a test and then bomb it. One professor said she even noticed that in me. It was frustrating. I just figure God will lead me to whatever he has in mind. If not this, then something else. It would be doing basically the same thing I am doing as a volunteer, activities with Alzheimer's patients. I love it and nothing makes me happier and puts a smile on my face than to see someone who is unresponsive all of a sudden perk up and sing or give me an unexpected answer, even if it is the wrong one. LOL

Rader 2010-04-24 21:08:14 -0500 Report

God doesnt need a GPA to get you a job if he chooses to do so : )
If you dont get a job, thank God for his blessing. Even the "no's" are with in his blessings

joni55 2010-04-24 21:33:42 -0500 Report

You are right. I used to work with the AWANA program at church and was also the secretary.

uwish 2010-04-16 07:38:55 -0500 Report

You hang in there Joni. Don't give up the fight. You have already paid in full to see this movie…right? Praise God for His miraculous healing. I know it baffles the doctors because they have to give a medical reason for everything, but we know the truth, right?
You have a blessed day and thanks so much for sharing your story. I know it has and will continue to help others. It will serve to encourage them and strengthen their faith.


joni55 2010-04-16 09:03:58 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for this! You have put a smile on my face and I don't even like mornings.

joni55 2010-04-17 21:06:14 -0500 Report

I ran into a woman who works in the office where my psychiatrist is and I explained what had happened and she said that they do not understand. I said no they don't. That's okay, I know that what I said and the evidence of my healing will continue to have an impact on them. I can't wait until my next appointment when he sees I am still well. I go to my rheumatologist soon. I can't wait. I can actually get a hug without being in pain. I know he won't believe it!

jayabee52 2010-04-16 03:24:35 -0500 Report

Thank you Joni for sharing that. Praise the Lord for HIS marvellous goodness to you and to us all!

There were times I thought my life was over also. But it was most definitely NOT.

Had I called it quits when my kidneys quit working due to infection (and refused dialysis treatment), I would have missed out 4 years and the past 2 years of life with my bride Jem.

I would have missed out on the many blessings God had in store for me, and my bride.

joni55 2010-04-16 09:05:48 -0500 Report

Thank you so much! I hope I find someone as nice as you. Searching on the internet for a boyfriend is not going well. I did actually physically meet someone but I am not sure where that is going.

joni55 2010-04-13 11:46:58 -0500 Report

Someone tell my doctors that I am not getting manic. I know the signs and they are not there. I am just happier than I have been in a long time. My primary doctor and my psychiatrist are warning me. They just do not understand.

Deb-G 2010-04-09 11:47:44 -0500 Report

Joni, good for you…You can never be too happy…Your story brings a smile to my heart and I am glad for you…

Continued healing and health


joni55 2010-04-08 20:58:06 -0500 Report

I have an update on things. I went to my pulmunary doctor today and he said my lungs are perfectly clear. I told him I had stopped my Advair 2 months ago because I ran out and didn't have money to replace it. He said that if I was doing okay without it, then I didn't need it. I go back in 6 months. I am so happy. I was diagnosed with COPD and Chronic Bronchitis years ago. It was my understanding that COPD only got progressively worse. I know that the rules of this world do not apply when God is involved. Praise God!

spiritwalker 2010-04-06 12:38:09 -0500 Report

Thank you for sharing your story. You are blessed and can
offer hope to others suffering from depression. You are showing them that a person can come through negativity
to the good in life.

Least 2010-04-06 11:51:35 -0500 Report

Your story is so encouraging! Thank you for posting so that others can share your joy! God really is wonderful to us - sometimes I think He brings us to our ropes end so that, with nothing else left, we turn completely and totally to Him. Then He fills all our needs with His precious self, which is what we really need!


MAYS 2010-04-06 11:35:24 -0500 Report

Deep down inside of each and every one of us is a small voice, almost as quiet as a whisper at times that guides and comforts us.
Some call it our conscience, many by other names, some believe that it is just common sense others a part of God instilled within us.

Whatever the case, it serves a purpose of which we sometimes ignore or take for granted, that purpose is to make us aware of what we do and what allow to be done to ourselves and others, it questions you when you are wrong, it never says or gives negative thoughts or advice, it doesn't pat you on the back or praise you when you are right, but it continues to guide us faithfully throughout our lives.

Listen sometimes for that inner voice for guidance, if not you will notice that negative thoughts and actions have a way of compounding, creating a very negative environment within us, causing conflict.

Throughout it all, the voice is still there, within us, all we have to do is to be quiet, and listen.


Anne56 2010-04-06 08:04:14 -0500 Report

Dear Joni,

Congratulations and good for you! You certainly deserve to feel better. Sometimes, chronic pain (physical and emotional) becomes an old shoe we wear; the pain can actually become "comfortable" to us because we are so used to it (especially if our childhoods were filled with it). Not sure if that happened with you, but it sounds as if you were/are truly ready to let it go and ready to embrace feeling good. Whatever the reasons, I am very happy for you. Thanks for sharing.


joni55 2010-04-06 10:56:23 -0500 Report

I had a very difficult childhood, full of emotional and physical abuse. So, yeah, I have a lot of baggage to let go of. But, I am working on it with therapy. My husband was also emotionally abusive. He could not deal with my being sick. He would get angry any time I had to go to the hospital. I thought he would flip when I told him I needed to go on psych meds.

joni55 2010-04-07 07:38:28 -0500 Report

I truly expected to be in pain for the rest of my life and accepted pain pills and depression medication to be a life long thing. But, I am happy to say that will not be the case.

GabbyPA 2010-04-06 08:00:06 -0500 Report

Thank you for your honesty, that takes guts to share things like that. It is an inspiration to all of us. So many of us suffer more than just our diabetes. I am so glad you are happy with life now, it will make such a difference in how you face everything.

shorty31 2010-04-06 06:59:16 -0500 Report

God answer prays and he answer your somtime people think i'm a little flighty, but i don't care i know who watch over me so they can talk they talked about Jesus didn't they let them talk. we are going to make it all of us we will over come may not be here but we will one day.

joni55 2010-04-06 10:57:58 -0500 Report

It says in scripture that God will never give us more than we can bare but it sure feels like it sometimes, doesn't it.

jayabee52 2010-04-16 04:27:55 -0500 Report

Sometimes we wish our Lord didn't have such confidence in our ability! LoL! But He IS right. We don't know how much we can handle until we're in the situation.

joni55 2010-04-16 09:07:54 -0500 Report

You have that right!!

Have a really blessed day and do share this with Jem. Do you read to her what is on the computer?

Rader 2010-04-24 21:16:29 -0500 Report

yes but remember .the burden is only bearable because of his help : )

Next Discussion: going to the doctor »