Famliy Support

By sisson Latest Reply 2010-04-06 08:17:28 -0500
Started 2010-04-04 21:26:41 -0500

First of all Happy Easter to everyone!
The reson why I am write this is because I am at my last end. See my oldest thinks she knows it all sence she works in the medcial filled. And I'm tired of it and I would like some advice I have tried to tell her that fibromyalgia is a cronic pain and and dessies and it is a frome of ateritces please forgive the misspellings and there is no cure she think that it is so easy to live with this pain. How can I explane it to her in another way? And yes I will be going to there site to look for help all so.

7 replies

Anne56 2010-04-06 08:17:28 -0500 Report

Hi, Sisson. Your daughter may not WANT to know that you must endure chronic pain. Maybe she doesn't want to deal with your reality. It happens. I have a dear friend who has Parkinson's. Her husband loves her dearly, that's obvious, but he couldn't seem to understand or even believe the changes occurring in my friend - the pain, the immobility, etc. After a few years, he sort of "blew" and his fears for her came out. I believe that he not only was in a sort of denial, but also, that he (maybe subconsciously) thought that he was helping her to carry on by not giving in to the limitations she was realizing, as a way to push her forward and not allowing her to give in or give up.

It doesn't seem likely that you need to explain what's going on to your daughter. It seems more likely to me that she is dealing with fears for you and is resisting understanding.

I wish you the best.


mamaoak 2010-04-05 18:57:42 -0500 Report

dear sisson this is no joke well mybe she will be in pain one day. it is awfull when your familly cant have any empithy. sometimes people in the medicalfield be come hardend to this . and believe me most are real sucks when it comes down to them felling sick or going into hospital. i really cant tell you how can make her feel your pain just that her day is comming and what goes arround comes around not that you would wish this on any body . take care

GabbyPA 2010-04-05 08:58:31 -0500 Report

Pain is the hardest thing for other people to understand. When we are not going thru it personally, we think others should just tough it out. However, when it is our own person, these are some of the most frustrating times we will endure. Everyone has a different tolerance to pain and perhaps you can approach it from that point. It is not something that others can truly understand, specially when there is no outside injury to look at to generate the empathy that we expect.

Have you been honest with her and told her your true feelings about her lack of compassion? Maybe she just needs to hear how much it hurts you that she doesn't think it is a big deal. Or you could step on her big toe and tell her that is how it feels. LOL

shorty31 2010-04-05 09:32:30 -0500 Report

i toally can relate to her frustration beause i have chronic heart failure i have an enlarged heart, also copd that has to do with breathing either one of these will make you cough so much and so badly that people tend to think you have tb. now when i talk to my mom on the phone i start to coughor when i walk my heart beasts so fast i cough my mom will tell me i wish you do something about that what am i to do/ i can't help it my husband will give me a look that reall hurts especialy when games are on.my son will say to mommy are you okay and go get me some water than down comes the tears. some peaple thoughtlessness can heart us even if they don't know it. we didn't get sick by anything we did it just fell on our laps.

MAYS 2010-04-04 21:50:38 -0500 Report

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