P & M aka Moan & Groan or Just For FUN!

By Deb-G Latest Reply 2010-07-04 12:23:48 -0500
Started 2010-03-04 07:03:07 -0600

CONTINUATION #11..Wow, we're on a roll!

Everyone welcome

Just a fun thread to vent in, or joke in, or just share thoughts!

Anything goes :)

281 replies

Richard157 2010-07-04 12:23:48 -0500 Report

I Love this DOCTOR!!!!

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is
this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it…
don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend
the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay
and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more
than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.

Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy
vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended
daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled
wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even
more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to
one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No
Pain…Good !

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! … Foods are fried these days in
vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more
vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You
should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the
best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.

And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid
in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body
thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a

Richard157 2010-03-20 09:17:08 -0500 Report

Things My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE .
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. "

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that


19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Mattteri 2010-03-20 21:31:13 -0500 Report

One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

Well, this sentiment has certainly come true in my house!
Thanks for the joke, this was cute.

Nova69 2010-03-20 21:39:16 -0500 Report

You won't believe how many of those I heard while growing up. And don't forget the ever popular "Don't waste that slice of bologna, put it on a piece of bread."

imsuzie2 2010-03-21 02:05:04 -0500 Report

My mother-in-law used to say "Wait until you have kids and they do the same thing to you".

If my son was acting out I used to ask him "We aren't going to embarrass each other, are we"? And when he was older, I used to say he was the poster boy for "Zero population growth". I thought it was funny, but… Hugs

sweething 2010-03-07 09:57:33 -0600 Report

Another thing that really makes me mad is having diabetes. For 27 years! I'm tired of it and scared of it, and want to forget I ever heard about it!

And another thing is the way people drive—if they are suicidal and want to risk dying, that's their business, but do they have to take me with them?

And when you eat out—why such giant servings? Of everything but veggies! I have taken so many little styrofoam boxes home with me, I myself have contributed 5 degrees to global warming.

sweething 2010-03-07 09:58:53 -0600 Report

And the Olympics. There are enough sports channels on cable they could use, why a network station?

sweething 2010-03-07 10:01:48 -0600 Report

And shoes! Since I've gotten peripheral neuropathy I've given so many pairs of shoes to Goodwill, their customers are better dressed than me! My feet can't stand hardly anything touching them, so I gave away totally new shoes! I now wear old lady sneakers and sandals. I live in the midwest, so it's a long way to sandal season!

dietcherry 2010-03-07 10:21:09 -0600 Report

Hey, I'm a Goodwill costomer! Thanks for turning me out so nicely shod, sweething! LOL I personally have never bought shoes from Goodwill but love the books and home stuff! Renee :)

Roy531 2010-03-07 10:23:14 -0600 Report

I haven't had diabetes as long as you have so I guess I have a lot to look forward too. Talking about drivers, have you seen the Smart car? Who would want to get on a highway with they way they drive in something like that. I don't have cable, so the Olympics is not my cup of tea either so I just spend more time here.

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-03-07 10:55:04 -0600 Report

I hear ya! I have spent 1000's of dollars on shoes I can't wear. For some reason they are fine in the store, but the 1st time I try to wear them my feet are on fire!!!!!! Good will loves me too!

donna13 2010-03-07 10:58:41 -0600 Report

Can you wear sandals? My sister went to her dr. (in summer in TX) wearing sandals, and was scolded. She was told diabetics shouldn't wear sandals. She had no problem with neuropathy, so didn't understand it.

dietcherry 2010-03-07 11:16:30 -0600 Report

I think most Endo's are overly cautious when it comes to our feet, but they know the awful things that can result from us not taking good care of them. I try to err on the side of caution myself; I never wear thong sandals and heels over 2 inches. I love to go barefoot but have tried to reign that in.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-03-07 11:46:50 -0600 Report

It really sucks, doesn't it? I love shoes, and I have so many pretty sandals, and heels that I used to love to wear, and now I can't…But, I have worn sandals (flat) to my endo, and she has never said anything about it…I'm just waiting for that day to come! LOL…

rankearl 2010-03-07 12:47:31 -0600 Report

somedays just having diabetes sucks!! but yes i love shoes too i wear sandals just careful with what kinds really i think it is most important to have then fit correctly oh i cant wait til it gets warmer!! ((HUGS)) julie

Deb-G 2010-03-08 17:44:23 -0600 Report

Thankfully my feet are one problem I dont have! LOL!!…been diabetic 27 years also and spent my youth and most of my 20's barefootin it…guess I was lucky!..Even now being a bit brittle I do not have feet issues…Thankfully One thing in my favor! See there is good in everything! lol

Anonymous 2010-03-06 02:53:43 -0600 Report

Religious freedom means just that.

Anonymous 2010-03-07 10:59:55 -0600 Report

Do we also have freedom from religion?

Roy531 2010-03-07 11:06:56 -0600 Report

You can chose whatever you want to do, you have that right.

Anonymous 2010-03-07 11:47:09 -0600 Report

Then why did they add "under god" to the pledge? Why are so many states fighting that they want to keep the 10 commandments in their courts. If they would just post thou shall not kill, or thou shall not steal, that would be fine. But why "Thou shall have no other gods before me." It has been an ongoing fight to keep the separation of state and religion.

jayabee52 2010-03-07 15:02:47 -0600 Report

Are you trying to provoke a fight Annon?

I DO have STRONG opinions on the subject, and I am pretty sure others have just as strong opinions 180° opposite, so I won't take the bait here.

There's a time and place for that discussion, but I am SURE that this is neither time nor place IMO.

*bites tongue*

rankearl 2010-03-07 16:50:11 -0600 Report

why why we all have freedoms and choices that is why we are human peace be with you ((HUGS)) julie

Deb-G 2010-03-08 17:42:12 -0600 Report

Politics and Religion are NEVER good forum subjects!…

My feelings on both are to each their own… :)

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-03-17 12:40:29 -0500 Report

I agree with your comment, Deb…Those two things can get wars started real quick! …And, I personally do not like fighting! I'm a lover, not a fighter! LOL…:D

donna13 2010-03-05 12:41:54 -0600 Report

Since we were talking about the way people have changed, for the worse, I'll talk about 2 news items in todays paper. A while ago there was a fire in a house and 7 young people, ranging in age from a new-born to 20, were killed. They were illegally living in an attic. The police have now charged the landlord with arson. Then there was a shooting in a suburb. A couple and their son were killed. A daughter hid in a closet and called 911. Now they are charging the daughter's old boyfriend of hiring someone to kill the family. He and the daughter are in a court fight over custody of their baby. (The baby was not present when this went on.) I can't believe the level of viciousness that seems to be getting more prevalent. I think I'll go to bed and pull the covers over my head.

Roy531 2010-03-05 13:15:00 -0600 Report

I don't know how many people will agree with me, but over the the past40 years I have noticed that since they took prayer out of schools and not allowing any type of religious activity things like this started happening. When you take what is good out the evil steps in.

donna13 2010-03-05 13:28:08 -0600 Report

Since I never went to a school that had prayers as part of its curriculum, I disagree with you. It reminds of when I was in school (many, many, years ago). Before WWII we said the pledge of allegiance to the flag at every assembly. I actually got goose bumps each time I said it. After the war started, we said the pledge every morning. It didn't take long for this to just become rote and not mean anything. I think that when something is mandated like that, it becomes meaningless. I don't think the lack of school prayers is the cause of anything. What is taught in the home is what's important.

Roy531 2010-03-05 13:42:13 -0600 Report

We had prayer in school, we had Bible classes and we even met before school start for our Morning Inspiration, and after I got out of school they had to stop all of that and in place of it they started having fights, shooting and all sorts of thing like that Like I said I could be wrong but seemed strange that right after they did that bad things started happening.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-03-07 11:33:07 -0600 Report

Well, when I went to school, before our classes began,every morning, we had devotion, and said the pledge..Every Friday, the whole school gathered in the Gym for the weekly devotion, and that was just normal, that is what we did, and this was a public school…Now, my grandchildren go to a private christian school…But, I agree with some of the others' replies…I think that the greatest example, and impact on our children is what they live and are taught in the home…I don't think that the school has a whole lot to do with how a child is going to turn out…However, I do think that it is sad that prayer, and devotion has been taken out of our public schools…I do believe that we should have that right… Well, that's my 2 cents worth on that subject!!!

rankearl 2010-03-05 13:15:35 -0600 Report

hi wachting the news everday there is always something i keep seeing more and more kids killing their parents it is horrible watch americas most wanted that is even worse i think alt of the violence is from the economy staying so bad i pray this too will pass ((HUGS)) julie

Deb-G 2010-03-05 13:16:35 -0600 Report

Donna…the Darien story struck me the same way!…What is this world coming to!…Do you think its really changed? or do you think its the availability we now have to hear these stories because of so much media and everything is on t.v. in our faces…I often wonder if the world is REALLY this different, or if our window to the world is just that much bigger…

Either way it makes me want to hide too!

Deb-G 2010-03-05 13:18:13 -0600 Report

I think they took the dicipline out of schools…and dont hit me…but religion seems to be the hiding ground of most of the wacko's lol hehe :D

Roy531 2010-03-05 13:21:26 -0600 Report

Parents can't even spank their children anymore for fear of being arrested for child abuse.

jayabee52 2010-03-05 16:19:27 -0600 Report

My 2¢: I think we can't pin the decline of our society on ANY ONE factor. There is a whole host of factors to blame IMO. The loss of cohesion in society may be attributed to the breakup and scattering of the extended family. As far as religion goes, (I'm not going to hit you Deb but agree with you in a way) religion was one of those cohesive factors in our society up until about the 60's or 70's but if you weren't in the majority religion up until then it was mighty lonely, and I suspect many folks kept quiet about what they felt about the majority religion -much like folks do today in Muslim dominated cultures - especially in the Middle east. And here's where I agree with you Deb, I have made a study of religion down through history, and there were many never-do-wells in religion down through the ages. So the wack-jobs in religion today do not surprise me. They've always been there. On the other hand there are also great unsung heroes in religion who have done A LOT of good for the people of this world who were motivated by their religious faith to work to help others.


Markus 2010-03-05 13:22:36 -0600 Report

I don't go out of my way to watch the news as they tend to give too much publicity to what is evil, they are only concerned with ratings. It seems to always come down to money and greed.

donna13 2010-03-05 13:31:22 -0600 Report

I think the popularity of rock and roll is the cause of all the world's evils. lol - just trying to get a rise out of all you young'ns.

imsuzie2 2010-03-05 17:53:19 -0600 Report

Skipping over Deb's brilliant observation, I agree with everything…but, on the religion, being Jewish…I wanted non-denominational spirituality. It was enough to celebrate Easter and Christmas in schools (decorations, songs, etc)…never Hanukkah or Passover. But, my high school was 98% Jewish, so attendance during a Jewish Holiday (Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah) was almost non-existent. I think there was more innocence in TV, movies, and also more family cohesiveness. No cell phones, fewer teen drivers, more "group dating", less drugs, more reading and emphasis on school/studying…Back then, TV didn't cover JFK's infidelities, all the scandals, etc. Now a days, scandal is the name of the game, drugs are hip, gangs are cool. I liked growing up in my time, and am so glad it wasn't quite as bad when my son was growing up as it seems now. My 2 cents.

Roy531 2010-03-05 18:05:14 -0600 Report

Well, I found 2 more cents, Just an observation but one of the things this country was founded on was religious freedom, freedom to worship how we wanted and when we wanted. Now it seems they are trying to take all of that away from us. They fired a teacher because his team prayed before a game and he joined them, he didn't promote it but joined when they did it. They fired him for it. To me That is totally wrong. Time for my walk, see ya'll later

imsuzie2 2010-03-05 19:10:39 -0600 Report

I think if the kids don't mind, and their parents don't complain, what does it hurt? I can understand what you are saying Roy. The Golden Rule is common among most religions, as is love of one another. At the core, we all believe in G-d, and that should be our tie to each other. Does it really matter who our G-d is? I guess I believe in the "father" and you believe in the "son". That make us family as far as I can see. I've said it before and will say it again…some of the best people I know in my life are believers in a higher being. Love, compassion and acceptance radiate from them. There is no judging. I think I sometimes need to be a better"Christian", but in no means would I convert from Judaism. I just want that inner glow my friends have. I want to be more loving, not especially thinking "an eye for an eye". Sincerely spoken with love to my family.

Roy531 2010-03-05 21:35:23 -0600 Report

The Constitution did not stipulate what kind of religion it was freedom to worship how you wanted. I do beleave in the Father, can't have a Son without Him.

imsuzie2 2010-03-06 03:17:25 -0600 Report

Just my ignorance of religions I did not grow up learning. As I said before, I was speaking with sincerity, and hope I did not offend. And, Roy, I guess I can share Danni… :)

cc9 2010-03-05 22:03:14 -0600 Report

my 2cents. i believe in being the change you want to see. i abhor violence in any form and i parented my children without violence. i am not the best mother nor aspire to be just to the best of my abilities at the time. my children were bullied at school and i took the matter up with the school administration. i found to my horror that there is a lack of actual understanding of what violence is. i was told by principals that the kids were violent in reaction to provocation. violence is violence! nothing justifies violence. its the same as i believe capital punishment is barbaric. how is santioned killing different to a homicide? it will never bring back the victim back to life. neither will it assuage the grief of the families left behind. I am not a christian though i was baptised as one and used to attend church regularly. and i think people remember 'an eye for an eye' but they forget that in the new testament jesus said that there is only one commandment that we love one another as he has loved us. and this is where in my professional life i see so many people who are unable to love themselves or even know where to begin. if you cant love yourself how do you love someone else?

Roy531 2010-03-05 22:19:55 -0600 Report

If you can not love yourself you cannot love others. Jesus said if you cannot love yourself how can you love your brother

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-03-05 20:39:03 -0600 Report

Our kids do have a sense of entitlement. Maybe we spoiled them too much. I know growing up I was taught to respect my elders and to work hard if I wanted something. For some reason that did translate to our kids even though I tried to raise them the same way I was raised.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-03-18 18:09:27 -0500 Report

Markus, I try to avoid the news too! My therapist told me this week to take a sabbatical from watching tv period for awhile, and put other things in my mind…There is just so much vialence, sex, and foul language, that he thought I needed to get away from it for awhile…

donna13 2010-03-05 22:34:12 -0600 Report

I think I'm sorry I started this. It went way off in a way I'm not at all comfortable with. Talking about religion can get very touchy.

jayabee52 2010-03-05 22:51:20 -0600 Report

perhaps enough said on this subject.

dietcherry 2010-03-07 09:08:30 -0600 Report

3/7/2010 - my 42nd birthday! I have officially been living with diabetes for 30 years! And quite healthy because I quit eating birthday cake 30 years ago! LOL Renee :)

Roy531 2010-03-07 09:14:50 -0600 Report

A Very Happy Birthday to You my Friend. Hugs and Kisses to You. Hope you have a wonderful day today and may all your wishes come true. Roy

dietcherry 2010-03-07 10:24:11 -0600 Report

Thank you, Roy! I didn't mind turning 41, but having a little trouble with this one! I wonder why? Oh well, my thoughts are, you are only as old as you look, so if I don't look 42, then I'm not!!!! No wisecracks about looking older, please! Renee :)

dietcherry 2010-03-07 11:00:04 -0600 Report

God bless you, Roy!!!!! My Endo and my Dermo both say it is because I don't eat sugar; apparently, it accelerates the breakdown of collagen in our skin; another reason to give it up! Renee :)

Roy531 2010-03-07 16:38:11 -0600 Report

I just had my granddaughter look at you picture and I asked how old do you think she is. She look at it and she said 20.

Deborah L
Deborah L 2010-03-07 09:19:37 -0600 Report

Happy Birthday!! Hope you smile all day long and get to be with your loved ones. Thanks for sharing your happiness with us.

Armourer 2010-04-12 22:18:57 -0500 Report

Late happy birthday, Renee! I was in a store and heard two ladies complain about turning 40. I replied that it was by best birthday ever! See, I wasn't to live to see it. I'm now 55. Each birthday is great for me! Also like the new photo.

dietcherry 2010-03-07 11:03:39 -0600 Report

Thank you, Susie! Birthdays are getting bittersweet for me now! Time marches on and you soon realize it's marching right across your face! Renee :)

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-03-07 11:41:34 -0600 Report

I have been doing ok…I have missed you!Hey sweetie, don't worry about turning 42, I will be 63 this year in May…And, I think my 40's were probably the best years of my life…You know what they say, a woman reaches her prime in her 40's :D Something to look forward to!!! :))))

dietcherry 2010-03-07 12:10:52 -0600 Report

Sue, I can certainly say that I have learned more about myself since turning 40; I am realizing what is important and what to let go. I'm not heading into a mid-life crisis, am I? LOL :)

dietcherry 2010-03-07 12:38:30 -0600 Report

That was taken last September in Best Buy! And if you were just trying to butter me up, it worked! Renee ;)

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-03-07 16:51:23 -0600 Report

No, Renee, you are not heading into mid-life crisis! LOL… Just relax and enjoy! I'm still learning…I haven't gotten there yet, but I'm working on it!

Nova69 2010-03-07 15:22:43 -0600 Report

Happy birthday! Nothing wrong with turning 42, especially when you consider the alternative. Enjoy your day.

cc9 2010-03-12 06:16:45 -0600 Report

things are crazy but never happier nor more at peace within myself. how are you travelling yourself?

imsuzie2 2010-03-07 22:09:58 -0600 Report

Renee, I don't know how else to say it, but going by your picture, "You are hot"! Happy Birthday. I am sure most of us "older women" here on the board would love to take your picture and say it is "me" on any site or to any person wanting a picture of us. Sigh. I agree with Sue, the 40's are great. And in reality, you are only as old as you feel…Enjoy your day! Hugs

dietcherry 2010-03-07 22:46:41 -0600 Report

Why, thank you, Suze! There is something about a compliment from another woman that just means more! I am very flattered by your kind words! Lots of Love to you! Renee :)

dietcherry 2010-03-07 23:14:01 -0600 Report

Suze, if your face is even half as beautiful as your spirit, then you've got more than anyone could ask for! Lots of Love to you, my friend! Renee :)

dietcherry 2010-03-07 23:35:16 -0600 Report

Well, it's a bedtime story then, because that is where I am headed! Maybe we can pick it back up tomorrow! LOL Sleep tight, Anon! Renee :)

cc9 2010-03-08 07:09:06 -0600 Report

age is only a number. how you feel thats the important. honey look at susan sarandon and she is smokin. i am 50 soon to be 51 so dont start me on blue, ok? haahahhahahah i am sure you get lots of whistles…girl.

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