PISS N MOAN #9 -continuation-

By Deb-G Latest Reply 2010-02-27 22:44:37 -0600
Started 2010-02-21 21:34:23 -0600

Fun Fun Fun, mixed in with whatever you want to talk about, or gripe about :)

158 replies

Deb-G 2010-02-25 13:53:10 -0600 Report

What I Want In a Man,(Original List)
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.

ptsparkle 2010-02-25 14:41:43 -0600 Report

Deb, Have you been talking to my wife again??

rankearl 2010-02-25 15:14:58 -0600 Report

oh deb that is too much !!i rember talking with my grandma about dating after my divorce it was soo much harder because i was older i can really relate to those list!!!!! i love my husband he isnt going to need as much training as the first !!!!just kidding hugs julie

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-25 16:10:43 -0600 Report

Lmao…I'll have to call my mom and grandma lol they will get a kick out of that.

Deb-G 2010-02-25 20:15:50 -0600 Report

I must be easy to please because honestly even when I was young looks weren't a big driving factor for me…actions totally were and having a job…past that it was all about fun being able to tolerate each other LOL…

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-25 21:28:31 -0600 Report

I'm right there with the looks, Deb. Yes there has to be some sort of physical attraction, however I am not picky at all. I always say that once you get to know a person, they can be so much more beautiful in your eyes if they have a great personality or become so much uglier if they have a bad one, and it's true, to me at least.

Deb-G 2010-02-25 21:45:21 -0600 Report

Most of the time your perfect match is right under your nose…

My current husband is my best friend…I was dumb the first time around and missed it! DOH! lol

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-25 21:52:10 -0600 Report

Hee! Hee! Fan of the Simpsons!?!? I don't think mine is under my nose, but if you tell one of my best friends that, he'll say, "See! Told you we were meant for eachother.". He's sweet, but not for me…he was going to propose to me on Thanksgiving at my house, not because we are or were dating, but because he really believe we will be married some day…I think he's getting over that now, Thank goodness :)

ptsparkle 2010-02-25 11:36:21 -0600 Report

True Tombstone Inscriptions
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:
Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down.
It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up And no place to go.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle
in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102.
The Good Die Young.
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallenstein wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast.
Pardon me
For not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne,
England cemetery:
Reader, if cash thou art In want of any, Dig 6 feet deep; And thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave
in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket,
Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God.
In a cemetery in England:
Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, so shall you be.
Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went.

Jim, one foot in ! :) :)

jayabee52 2010-02-25 12:16:47 -0600 Report

Don't know where, but somewhere in New England is a tombstone with the epitaph of a hypocondriac:

"See, I told you I was sick!"

Edit: There was a headstone in Princeton Cemetery, (picture on Flickr) and one bearing that epitaph in Key West FL

Roy531 2010-02-25 10:35:09 -0600 Report

From: GOD
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you. And, remember… If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do Not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in My time, not yours. Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now. Should you decide to send this to a friend; Thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day.

God has seen you struggling, God says it's over.
A blessing is coming your way.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-02-25 11:05:26 -0600 Report

Wow, Roy!! Thank you so much for those kind words. I will copy them off as we are having a study at church for Lent, and they fit right in.
Also, one of our local ministers carried a form of Jesus with him these past weeks, not saying anything, just a visual symbol to keep folks aware of Jesus, especially at this time of year. He took HIM with him to our local high school ballgame, and the priniciple threw him out of the building!!!! The form was just setting there against a wall—-not in an obtrusive manner—-really has upset our small, farming community as most of us go to church, and have strong beliefs. (I won't go into our church ladies, they are now seeing where I was coming from on interrpreting the scriptures—another story) I thought that we were safe from all of this hype about not being able to use CHRISTMAS, the nativity scene etc, We all need to make a stand for our FREEDOMS. Ooops, on my soap box again. haha—Love you ALL, Pat R

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-02-25 09:36:47 -0600 Report

Witty Dictionary

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the

A place where women curl up and dye.

Someone who is fed up with people.

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

Mud with the juice squeezed out.

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

Cold Storage.

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

An insect that makes you like flies better.

Grape with a sunburn.

Something you tell to one person at a time.

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

The pain that drives you to extraction.

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

An honest opinion openly expressed.

and last but not least.....

Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-02-25 11:30:50 -0600 Report

Oh, I LOVE all of your quotes, Jeannie!! I am trying to pic out a favorite, but that is so hard———Secret= telling one person at a time—or Chickens= the only animal we eat before they are born, and after they are dead! YUCK!! Kinda sickening if you let yourself really think about it! haha—LOL, Pat R

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-25 16:04:43 -0600 Report

Those are great! And thanks to the chicken defintion, I think I am going vegetarian again (I do that usually twice a year for a few months, whenever I feel like it and for no reason) lol.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-02-25 17:51:09 -0600 Report

Jim, I was just going to ask the same thing! I would like to have one of those dictionaries…LOL. I enjoyed that Jeannie!! Keepem coming…We can all use a good laugh…It really does help relieve the stress…:0)

Deb-G 2010-02-25 08:21:58 -0600 Report

Ok so I get all the girls fitted last night for their season uniforms, cleats, extra's and I'm thinking about my day off tomorrow (today)…

Wake up this morning…

With a KILLER SORE THROAT…#$&*@#&@*&#

LOL…just cant win I tell ya ;)

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-02-25 10:50:46 -0600 Report

That just really sucks, Deb…Hope you feel better soon, and as Roy says, STOP YELLING AT THOSE GIRLS SO MUCH! :D

Deb-G 2010-02-25 11:25:56 -0600 Report

I guess its that time of year where this crap gets passed all around lol…I feel it creepin into my nose and even my ears…I see an antibiotic in my future…last cold I had flew right into Bronchitis

and Sue…I know right ;) That probably didn't help hehe…This coming weekend is my last practice :( Until June anyway, as Highschool ball starts…Little break for me! :)

Deb-G 2010-02-25 12:27:30 -0600 Report

Yeah…the girls I coach are all highschool age…and we encourage them to play for their highschool teams…hard on us Travel coaches :( we have to break as they cant interact with us during that season (rules lol)…and then when we get um back we have to whip um back into shape before our summer travel season…highschool ball back-tracks um a bit but its still a good experience for um :)

Next year…both my girls will be in highschool…EEEEKKK!! lol…right now i have an 8th grader and a sophmore :)

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-02-25 15:27:37 -0600 Report

My prayers are with you!! haha—I have a feeling that you are always on top of the game, tho! PR

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-25 16:01:31 -0600 Report

Yuck! I'm sorry Deb, I hope you feel better. I am not sure if I am getting over it or if it is coming on worse. Take it easy. You know, when I feel like I am getting worse, I use to drink hot green tea and it would honestly help me. Try that and I think, hope itll help some. And don't over work yourself either, if you can help it, I know it is hard with kids and activities.

imsuzie2 2010-02-27 02:07:18 -0600 Report

I like Zicam Readi-tabs…every 3 hours, and of course, chicken soup, home made, if possible.

Snuggle up in bed, stay warm, and flush fluids, Deb. Pamper yourself. Hugs

imsuzie2 2010-02-25 06:47:34 -0600 Report

My husband is working on a tax return. He just burst out laughing. I asked what was up, and he said the biddy submitted the e-organizer (thru email) and he was having trouble because something was off. He found it. Under the FOREIGN TAX line she noted tax paid in Wisconsin. He started yelling, "Dumb B**ch, Wisconsin is in the US…LOL

tholz 2010-02-24 23:49:21 -0600 Report

Funeral was a good one. Except hubby acted like he didnt care about my feeling when I was crying. Saw lots of cousins. Wish were lived closer. I miss them

ken-e 2010-02-24 22:11:35 -0600 Report

Made a nice chicken soup to take to SWMBO for lunch. Had to find a couple of bowls for it. Filled one bowl, and when searching for another, knocked the first bowl onto the floor.

Stray cats outside got the floor-chicken. SWMBO and I went out for dinner. Not as good for us, but we will be okay.

Deb-G 2010-02-25 08:18:54 -0600 Report

Was a lucky night for the cats…so not all was lost :)

but I hate when that happens! :)

Deb-G 2010-02-24 17:07:54 -0600 Report

OK…omg…2 very full full days of work…I'm beat…Team uniform fittings tonight and then I have a DAY OFF tomorrow! cant wait…!! :)

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-02-24 17:25:29 -0600 Report

Poor Deb. I hope you enjoy your time off!

Deb-G 2010-02-25 08:17:52 -0600 Report

Roy I'm a Dental Hygienist by day and coach fastpitch by evening…I just change my hat mid-day :D

Deb-G 2010-02-25 08:39:29 -0600 Report

lol…thankfully no…although when taking xrays I have to be quick because when you tell kids to "bite down" they do it QUICK! not gently like the adults…thankfully I do not work in a Pedodontists office (kids) and I work mornings so kids are a limited part of my day…I do enough with kids the rest of the day! LOL!!

Kira_xo 2010-02-24 06:51:04 -0600 Report

I am exhausted! I mean… I feel sluggish and I have my cousin and her baby coming over today and its taking all I have to get up and clean! Ive been so tired, and so sick that I have neglected the housework for a few days and now it feels like one big mess =( The baby woke up before I did for once, which sucks, because I was hoping to get a head start on cleaning but cant because baby duty calls. *sigh* I need a maid, a nanny, and a cook!!!

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-02-24 10:38:26 -0600 Report

I always wished I had a wife!!! LOL

Kira_xo 2010-02-24 12:53:34 -0600 Report

LOL Jeannie! EXACTLY how I feel! hahah! I had to clean everything because made plans to come over with her 4 month old and omg I feel like i should just sanitize the entire house when another baby comes to play! Boy did I get a work out this morning! But right now.. I have a sleeping 10 1/2 month old boy (mine) an a sleeping 4 month old baby girl(cousins). All I can say is "I AM THAT GOOD!" 2 babies, both napping at the same time! Woohoo go me! … That does not make me want another one anytime soon tho! haha

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-02-24 13:15:27 -0600 Report

We had 4 kids and now have 3 granddaughters. The youngest is 4. I really miss having a baby around. Maybe one of these days.

donna13 2010-02-24 13:52:19 -0600 Report

My oldest granddaughter got married 2 years ago, and I'm chomping on the bit to have a great grandchild. But she is being very responsible and waiting until they are ready financially. Darn kids, no consideration for her poor old grandma, My youngest grandchild is 10, and much too mature for her age. I miss having a baby to spoil.

Kira_xo 2010-02-24 15:49:28 -0600 Report

yall can borrow mine anytime! hahaha! He is almost 11 months old. We want s 3 year age gap between him and the second tho soo no newborns anytime soon! lol

rankearl 2010-02-25 10:56:42 -0600 Report

hi kira your thoughts made me think about the plaque i have in my kitchen I WAS BORN TO HAVE A MAID NOT BE ONE hugs julie

tholz 2010-02-24 01:18:23 -0600 Report

My P & M is. About my Grandmas funeral. I was ask by my aunt to give pictures. Only me my mom ans my aunt weregiving pictures. She had ask for monthes and I keep for getting. So i when threw a lot and gave many of whole family yes very old ones. So my neice was watching the dv and got mad cuz she was ask.And they were old and no updated ones. Well she never stays in touch with any of us at all . We only had 5hrs to get them in. Well we did are best. It p me off so bad. I am being to hate my own family. She never comes around at all. Her baby is almost a yr and my mom just saw him tonight. Funeral is today and my hubby and 2 boys are palbears so lets see how many gets p about this