Drinking with diabetes

By Danni-the-diabetic Latest Reply 2010-02-24 15:56:09 -0600
Started 2010-02-21 00:28:48 -0600

Unfortunately I got weak tonight and gave into drinking, when my friend/roommate practically begged me because she didn't want to drink alone, but our friends ended up leaving early and she went to bed but I keep drinking…and this is why I don't drink, once I start It's not easy for me to stop. I am not trying to give excuses of why I started drinking or why I haven't stopped, I'm just saying it as it is. I'm trying to be honest here because drinking is horrible for anyone, especially a diabetic. I haven't drank in a long time but she bribed me good and I gave in. I'm weak and I know I need help. And please, don't think less of me :(
I know their are several diabetics that got diagnosed later in life, any advice how to "just say no"…She knows I didn't want to and can't drink but gave me a guilt trip, and that was a test for me and I failed and I feel like a failure…

35 replies

Crashnot 2010-02-23 21:09:21 -0600 Report

Considering our discussion on another thread, you REALLY need to hammer down and just say "NO BLESSED WAY." Neither of you needs the possible consequences. Hang tough girl.

June Tademy
June Tademy 2010-02-23 21:23:46 -0600 Report

Yes this is not a diabetic problem, this is a problem with you. Do not feel like a failure, just do not drink, is her friendship more important than your health? Do you value your life? Just make a decision, this is your life and you should not want to loose it but cherish it. Be smart-Make a decision.
You are not a failure we have all been there, we al have made mistakes. The thing is "learn from it and make better decisions"

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-23 21:51:27 -0600 Report

Thank you and thank you. I will hammer down and be a stubborn sober chick :) . And I do cherish and value my life now and even though I do the same with friendship, I think 'how can I be a good friend if I'm too sick to be there'. Awesome! I feel like I can tell off anybody right now :)

donna13 2010-02-21 18:05:06 -0600 Report

This isn't a diabetes problem, it's a problem with your friend. When I was young and before diabetes, I couldn't drink because it would make me ill. I would get sick long before I would get high. So many of my so-called friends called me a party-pooper, and I was no fun because I wouldn't get drunk with them. I learned to nurse a drink, or hide the drinks they bought for me. As I matured I just firmly told them I don't want a drink. They all accepted this eventually. I believe that is what you have to do with your roommate. You don't owe her any explanation why you can't drink. You are free not to indulge.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-21 18:49:41 -0600 Report

Very true, Donna. When I was drinking too much she was one of the firsts to tell me and when I stopped she said, "good job", but now that she isnt pregant after two years of pregnancy she wants to go out and have fun.

Pam from KCMO
Pam from KCMO 2010-02-23 05:33:38 -0600 Report

Your roommate/friend is acting in a very self-centered manner. Thinking about herself and what SHE needs and wants, and discounting what's best for you. That's HER problem - not yours. And you're not on this planet to fulfill her wants and desires. YOU are your only best and real advocate. IMHO anyway! :)

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-23 14:59:31 -0600 Report

I agree with you Pam. I talked to her last night and told her that don't mind being the DD on occasions like her birthday, but she said no, that'd be no fun. I told her that I am not going to drink anymore because it messed with my sugars too much and she seems cool about it. LOL Than she offered me ice cream because my sugar was a little low anyway and I said no, but thanks. She was like "not even a little", I explained that it may bring it up too high and she said okay and got ice cream for herself. I think as long as I stay strong for myself and don't give in than she will catch on and learn more.

Pam from KCMO
Pam from KCMO 2010-02-23 20:40:49 -0600 Report

One thing to keep in mind: as you continue to stay strong and change your behavior with her, you may notice her reacting in a variety of ways. Last night it was 'well, okay.' Other times she may try pouting, or being pitiful, or even cuss you out. Just know that unconsciously she wants the Danni that will go along with her and so will try all sorts of different tactics to get you to behave as before. Until, at some level, she realizes nothing's working and gives up.

I speak from a very similar experience. In my case, as I got healthier, the man in my life got madder and eventually walked out. It hurt badly at the time, but I soon realized it was the best thing to have happened.

I hope that, in your case, your roommate learns to respect and accept the healthy choices that you're making for yourself.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-23 20:48:14 -0600 Report

Thanks for the tips Pam. I'm sorry in your situation he walked out on you, he wasn't good enough for you then.
I realize I can't be irritated with her because my friends aren't use to me taking care of myself and doing whatever I wanted to do in spite of my diabetes, I mean the only way I acknowledged it was by taking insulin and very occasionally checking sugars. She has been pregnant for almost two years straight and saw me go out and have fun alot (without her), so I understand why she wants/expects me to do the same with her, now that she can once in awhile. I've been keeping up with myself for almost 2 months out of 12 years, so it's like I am newly diagnosed to everyone but my body.
Now that I rambled, thanks for understanding :)

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-21 16:08:30 -0600 Report

Thank you everybody for your sweet words and advice. Today is another day and so it tomorrow and so on, and I guess we can only learn from our experiences, huh!?

Ms40+pumpuser 2010-02-21 16:33:46 -0600 Report

Danni, you originally asked how you can just say no, and you did that, and she persisted. So, you can leave the room, for one thing, or ligtly toss a beer bottle into the hallway and tell her "there it is" and then lock the door when she goes after it :) Two things: 1) Write her a letter now, and say all the things you've said you'll say next time to her, but the point it for you to give the letter to her when you are both completely sober, and can discuss it. She needs to coherently understand you, and if she refuses, move on, sweetie, she really WON'T be your best friend then. Prepare yourself, you may need to see her in that light.
2) What did she say the next day, about getting you to drink with her, because she didn't want to drink alone, AND that you kept drinking after she stopped? You both are accountable for that whole night. If she doesn't seem to be sorry that she hurt you, then my dear, have a roomate, but not a friend, not a good friend. Know that it's a toxic relationship for you, and cut it off. Period. There are way too many people out there, and even if you want her to be your friend, at what cost? Isn't your life worth more than her so called friendship? I'll take being on my own, over that!

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-21 16:48:52 -0600 Report

I like the idea of throwing the beer and locking her in the room lol. Nothing was discussed today about drinking, however I did mention that my sugar was way too high this morning and that I cannnot drink again and she said, well not until Danielle's (another friend) birthday and than on her birthday, and I said no and she said, "well at least go out with me on my birthday", I told her that I cant drink because of my sugars and I just dont need to for general reasons, she begged with a long please and I told her no, but I'll see - just to make her be quiet. Urghhh! How frustrating!!!

Crashnot 2010-02-21 17:20:54 -0600 Report

Could you offer to be the designated driver/walker/cab caller and just go for the outing? Sounds like your roomie doesn't begin to grasp the complexity of being diabetic. A few of mine over the years had to accompany me to the E.R. for low sugars, and boy, did they take good care of me after that! Once you explain that low sugars can USUALLY be fixed but high sugars do damage for life, she might get it.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-21 18:45:59 -0600 Report

She knows the complications, I've talked to her about it, her grandpa just died from alcoholism/diabetes and bad kidney and she has visited me in the hospital a few times. But that's a great idea, I'll be the DD, never thought of that :)

Ms40+pumpuser 2010-02-21 17:41:17 -0600 Report

Honestly, she's not real concerned with your health, she's concerened with what SHE wants.
Your body doesn't need her. Your body needs your niece, see what I mean? I really wanted to see if she was sorry at all for putting you thru all she did, and she wasn't at all.
Take your frustration, and put it to positive use :) Where are you going to school?

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-21 18:47:57 -0600 Report

Yes, but I should've been a big girl and stand up for my own, I need to really work on that.
I am going back to school in the fall at Savannah Tech and than Armstrong Atlantic State University :)

Ms40+pumpuser 2010-02-21 14:18:56 -0600 Report

Nova69, Excellent! I'm 10000% with you!
Any "friend" that wants to hurt you, isn't a friend!
I'll bet you, that this "friend" won't be in your life, when you're 40… maybe even 30, so what have you lost? A day, a week, of your life maybe, just because you let someone "guilt you"… Well, you are the only person that's letting you feel guilty! Anyone can try, but you don't have to let them! Stand up for yourself, and BARK at someone that isn't ON YOUR SIDE :) If and when this happens again, come to your lovely computer, and talk to US. Tell your friend, that she (?) can go deal with the effects of liver damage and sheer stupidity that goes along with that, and hte brain damage! Yes, brain damage! There is no good reason in the world, to drink any kind of alcohol, ever!
But, you did it, and now you're sorry for it, so you know that you don't want to feel bad like this again, so remember that, and free yourself from one more guilt, don't let there be another time that you have to put yourself thru this! YOU are your best friend!! :)

Nova69 2010-02-21 14:42:05 -0600 Report

Something I feel I must add. Judging from this and some of your other posts, you may be in an abusive relationship with your roommate.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-21 16:06:30 -0600 Report

Nicely put you two and i think I will use some of those lines, thanks. She is my best friend and it'd be nice to think that we'd still be friends when we are 40…hopefully things will ease up and get better; I hate to think that I am being abused by not only my best friend who is a chick, but the fact that we're not even dating…I mean no one wants to be abused and I you can be abused in any kind of relationship and no matter the situation, it just sucks!

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-02-23 23:49:48 -0600 Report

Things ease up? With her? She sounds like a friend that you don't need. Love yourself and stand strong from now on, today has passed, don't get caught up in guilt trips, that is a bad road to go down. It sounds like she needs a good talking to, then dismiss her if she continues to try and drag you down THAT road. We all care for you, Danni! Your so-called friend, should too~ Pat R

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-24 05:54:33 -0600 Report

Hey Pat, yeah things have eased up, with me personally. I think I can stand up to her and not buy into her guilt trip and don't do what I don't want to do. I have talked to her and I think she is understanding of everything, for now anyway. Thanks for asking :)

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-02-24 15:56:09 -0600 Report

I am so glad, Danni! It is hard to learn when and where to stand up for yourself, and at your age, it really can be hard to not give in to peer pressure, we so want to please and be friends with all, but sometimes one just has to draw the line when it comes to choosing your OWn pathway to travel!! Best Wishes and God Bless you, Danni!! Hugs, Pat R

Nova69 2010-02-21 13:42:59 -0600 Report

You don't need to feel guilty, she does. So lay on the guilt trip. "You do realize that what you're trying to do can make me very sick. Are you going to take me to the hospital? Do you care so little for our friendship that you're willing to risk my life so you have company while you drink?"

Crashnot 2010-02-21 10:55:29 -0600 Report

I don't recall alcohol being on the "never again" list, but yes, it certainly complicates insulin dosages and risk of dipping too low later in the night! As long as you know what carbs are in the drinks you're having, and you go at a moderate rate to dose accordingly, enjoy yourself once in a blue moon. Binge drinking is no fun for anyone, I really don't recommend it for anyone!

Pam from KCMO
Pam from KCMO 2010-02-21 08:01:16 -0600 Report

Tomorrow IS another day - forgive yourself and ask "what's the lesson here?"

Don't be so hard on yourself, Danni. None of us is perfect. (And I speak from looooong experience!)

daniel velazco
daniel velazco 2010-02-21 10:28:29 -0600 Report

Danni you should not feel like a failure.Your room mate should know better
than that. She know's you are diabetic and what it can cause. If she doesn't know what can happen to a diabetic you should have a long talk with her. Today
is another day and try not to think about it,you have oujr support.Hang in there we still love you, you are family.

MAYS 2010-02-21 03:18:09 -0600 Report

How can you feel like a failure, we all make mistakes.
It's forgiven, it's forgotten let's start all over … again !
" Mays "

Kirla 2010-02-21 01:03:20 -0600 Report


Tomorrow is another day. Can't change what we did. We all make mistakes. All we can do, is to keep trying. We do the best we can.

Good luck

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