Diabetes & Dating #2

By Latest Reply 2010-02-19 02:43:48 -0600
Started 2010-02-15 20:15:48 -0600

It was suggested to start a number 2 of this topic. The first one had some good ideas for dating and inspiration…let's continue the positive thoughts on here. I am dying to know how diabetes effects everyone else when we are in the moment and reaching for the stars (if you know what I mean). I'm tired at times and reaching for the stars just doesn't work..I would think if I am dating someone who isn't a diabetic they may not understand that being tired may be an issue. How do you guys handle that issue? Just share tips and ideas.

32 replies

imsuzie2 2010-02-16 04:11:22 -0600 Report

I was never in the situation where I had to advise a date I had diabetes or uc. I developed them after marriage. Food limitations are more for the uc than diabetes (Onions and peppers), cause I can choose what I want to eat. My one friend that cooks for us several times a year will ask if I can eat something, more again for the uc. At dessert, I just have a "taste"…first time they bought me a special low or no-sugar dessert. I was touched! Told her and her husband not to do it again, I could eat a smidgen of a regular dessert as I was advised by the diabetic educator 1/2 of regular is better than full low sugar. Unless homemade chocolate chocolate chip cookies, I can usually resist desserts.

I did find it is easier to say I'm a recovering alcoholic than to say I don't drink. This is where my former life as a "cat in a Mormon household" came from. Hubby was on a softball team thru work in the first years of marriage. 2 of us didn't drink, the Mormon and I. They used to tease him and ask him "what is a nice Mormon boy like you doing in a place like this." His attitude and friendship formed thru our bond of no drinking. I carried it forward.

2010-02-16 15:13:19 -0600 Report

imsuzie2 you have been through alot, wow. Just when I think I have problems-I see someone who has been through alot more than me…wow

Terri d
Terri d 2010-02-16 18:27:12 -0600 Report

imsuzie2…you are so right…the 'i don't drink' approach works great for me. when i've said, 'i am a recovering alcoholic' sometimes it prompts a huge discussion I don't care to get in to.

it is difficult to say, 'i am a diabetic' because that prompts a big discussion. i don't want them to think they have to watch what I eat. On the other hand, if i am going to spend a lot of time, like hiking, walking, physical activity, intimacy, etc., i may have a low glo. They may need to know how to help me. Usually, i carry sugar with me, but, when I have a low…low…sweating and shaking…i may not know to have the sugar, even if it is in my hands…

cc9 2010-02-16 18:43:11 -0600 Report

yeah i agree. its a tricky one bec by the time it gets to that point you are already confused. i guess if and when that happens to inform the person

2010-02-16 20:38:12 -0600 Report

I dont carry sugar or snacks..but maybe i should. something to think about.

imsuzie2 2010-02-17 05:31:04 -0600 Report

I usually carry a fruit roll-up and a cheese and cracker…carbs are ok, so if I get hungry, I am not tempted to stop for fast food or chocolate…you know, the good tasting stuff. And, there is always water in the car. Since I am in pretty good control, PA said I don't need glucose tabs.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-17 15:59:39 -0600 Report

I just ran out of glucose tablets so I carry a juice and peanut butter crackers. I made a mistake of going out jogging with a friend last week and I forgot to bring my tablets and of course my sugar dropped.
As far as the drinking goes, I say "I dont drink anymore", I use to be a heavy drinker a few years ago when i was too young to drink, so I can say that I am a recovering alcoholic and mean it. I'm a good girl now :)

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-17 16:04:27 -0600 Report

Suzie, one of my ex's mom looked up sugar free deserts and made this really good desert that the whole family enjoyed. It made me feel awkward but it was the sweetest thing because it was the first time that anyone has gone out of their way to make something that is diabetic friendly for me. That was my ex from 3 years ago and they still fix it because it tasted so good. But I don't have that willpower like you, I can't take a couple bites and walk away, lol it's better that I don't touch the "bad" food at all or somebody will have to grab my feet and pull me away, but even than I will still be holding that cookie lol.

imsuzie2 2010-02-18 04:40:23 -0600 Report

You know, Danni, I have been thinking you are a heroine. As young as you are and doing the great job you do in taking care of yourself, working on your numbers, exercising, and giving the loving support to us on this site. I hope you realize how special you are! Hugs

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-18 14:26:55 -0600 Report

Suzie, that means more than you know to me, thank you so much for that. Like I said before, If it weren't for you all, then I think I would've gotten too discouraged and given up quickly.So double thanks :)

imsuzie2 2010-02-19 02:43:48 -0600 Report

You are welcome, Danni. I know how important support is. I am having a difficult time at work, and the support here helps and spills over to work. The build up from the family just pushes the self-esteem up which helps the work attitude. Some of my friends at work, that are having the same issues or similar issues help too, as the company rule is not to discuss issues…if you are doing something not up to par or such, so you feel alienated and alone, not knowing others share the same problems…like here…hugs

Anonymous 2010-02-15 23:49:10 -0600 Report

i tell them i'm diabetic and all is fine as long as i provide the wishes, the only turnoff is this stupid lamp, too small to be intimate, heck, they even think the blue skin is sexy … or maybe it's just the wishes after all … jeeez

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-16 00:11:31 -0600 Report

lol it's all about the blue skin and the wishes and lol as long as they keep rubbing your lamp you should be fine…

Anonymous 2010-02-16 00:35:58 -0600 Report

i sleep with my back up against the wall of my lamp so when they rub my lamp i get a back rub also, works for me, it's cheating but a rub is a rub …

imsuzie2 2010-02-16 03:58:10 -0600 Report

LOL. I just put a massaging pad on my office chair, here. Vibrating the thighs (bonus) back and shoulders…has heat too, if I want. No lamp…

donna13 2010-02-16 16:25:57 -0600 Report

After I got into my daughter's car and the seat was warm, I got a warming pad which also massages. I use it when I take trips of over an hour. It really works, I'm not near as stiff when I get out of the car as I was before.

MAYS 2010-02-15 22:39:40 -0600 Report

I have always informed my dates that I was diabetic, and answered any questions but I always let it be known that it was and is my problem not theirs so that they wouldn't feel obligated in any way.
Your burdens in life are your own and should only be shared or shouldered by others if they choose to, but give them that option, don't expect it.

The love of my life is also diabetic which makes everything so much more meaningful and understanding now !

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-15 21:02:10 -0600 Report

Every person that I have dated have been cool about it - well almost all…I don't hide it because that wouldn't turn out good. This one person freaked on our first date when my sugar dropped and I was shaking (never heard back) and my last ex dropped me like a fly when I got the stomach flu and ended up in the hospital.
I believe it depends on the person, whether or not they want or can deal with it. I got upset with my last ex, it made me feel like crap for having diabetes, but that's a part of me and if you can't accept that than I don't want them…well I may, but they don't deserve me :)

2010-02-16 15:11:17 -0600 Report

I think we all have one of those "Ex's" in our closet. They start out ok then something will make their real colors show. I think the diabetes might help separate the good ones from the "Turds".

Libra1969 2010-02-15 20:47:23 -0600 Report

This is a very good question, and one that I myself am curious about as well. I know that in the past there have been issues not so much with being tired but other issues. I am very upfront with potential dates, and let them know right off the bat that I am a diabetic and there are things that they must know.

2010-02-16 15:09:01 -0600 Report

Libra, you've got moxy girl..I hear yah.

Anonymous 2010-02-16 18:16:19 -0600 Report

Hi Libra 1969. How do you know the right time to tell your date/partner? I am afraid it will scare them off and they will feel like it is their responsibility to solve the problem during 'the moment'. This, in my opinion, will sometime put extra stress/pressure on my partner. I don't want to scare them off. Thank you for your reply.