I just need to let it out...

By Danni-the-diabetic Latest Reply 2013-06-29 11:09:56 -0500
Started 2010-02-15 15:11:34 -0600

Do you ever just want to throw your cards in and give up, just quit? Do you ever feel so defeated that you don't care if you live or die?
I've been trying to be so optimistic, and I hate to ruin that for myself and everyone else, but I can feel it draining out of me, too fast. I'm trying to use my method, "fake it til you make it", I'm just having a hard time with it lately…not all the time, but just more often than usual. I hate being this way and I hate to feel and sound so negative; I like to bring smiles and make people laugh. I've just been so frusterated lately. My health is scaring me, I don't want to be on dialysis, especially when I am still pretty young; I've always had great eyesight til recently and I heard diabetics can go blind; the neoropathy is getting worse and so I find myself asking, 'What's the point? or Is it worth it?'. If I talk to my Dr. about how I'm feeling concerning this, she may not say it, but she will be thinking, "well I tried to tell you…" and I know seeing that look, let alone hearing it, will make me feel worse…
I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound pathetic, but I'm feeling pretty pathetic…I just need to get it out and nobody around me really gets it, maybe some of you will understand a little bit.
Thanks for hearing (reading) what I have to say and giving me someplace to let it all out.

39 replies

Carla48 2013-06-29 11:09:56 -0500 Report

Danni, never feel bad for being who you are and feeling what you are feeling. It was a low point where I felt like giving up that brought me to Diabetic Connect and this amazing community; I was feeling bad because I've not been able to control my BS consistently since my 2008 diagnosis, and pain from neuropathy was driving me nuts. I was ready to just hang it up, then I clicked on the Diabetic Connect website. So much help and support and understanding here. We have to deal the cards we are dealt, but you know what? No harm in saying we've been dealt a crappy hand while we play :)

B_Tran88 2011-04-11 10:07:28 -0500 Report

I completely understand. I've been a diabetic since I was 4. I'm in college now and for the last few years I've had the thought of who cares. I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore. I feel hopeless. I quit trying. Today I had an appointment and once again cried (I've never gone to an appointment and NOT cried). For the first time since I was diagnosed, I have a doctor who cares. He asks what I want to do and asks my opinion about my care. I've never had that before and now that I do I am completely overwhelmed and don't know what to do. I've never had a doctor ask me anything before, they've always told me. After a while I just gave up and tell them what they want to hear. My BGs have been out of control for years and are now catching up to me. I have wool spots in my eyes (which are reversible) and consequently a little kidney damage. The hardest part of living with diabetes is not having anyone that understands.

dookasm 2010-05-13 23:09:42 -0500 Report

I know what your feeling, I think everyone
who has this illness feels the same.Before
I found out I had diab. I thought it was a
illness people got because they ate too
many sweets, boy was I wrong.m It takes
some planning, and life style changes.
It can be done,when my neuropathy gets
bad I lay down elevate my legs by putting
them on top of my headboard put on my
favorite cd and chill. my favorite saying now is day by day. Just hang in there,hopefully they will come up with a cure Dookasm

smokeejo 2010-04-06 21:19:53 -0500 Report

i absolutely understand and im not the one with diabetes, my husband is, but i feel hopeless bc i can only do so much for him. this has affected so many things in our lives. my husband is the only one employed and he has been out of work with all the symptoms he has been having. we were already struggling financially now i really dont know what will happen. i try to keep positive for both of us, but its very hard to do.

Jesse57 2010-02-16 14:52:35 -0600 Report

Danni- I go through the same emotional swings. Before the accident that wiped out my Pancrease I was very active and always joking around and making people laugh. I was into racketball, jogging, beach volleyball and over 4 years in the Martial Arts. Not just the Diabetes gets me down, but the fact of the matter is,due to other permanantly disabeling injuries I can no longer do any of these activities. These are the cards I've been dealt and have to try to play them in a positive way. As you well know , it's a daily struggle but in the long run WE WILL make it. No matter what, life is still definatley worth living. Hang tough Danni and we all will be hanging tough with you !!!!! Jeff

rankearl 2010-02-16 13:04:40 -0600 Report

hi dani i have been diabetic most of my life we do not have to be prefect to be human as long as you can try you can do one day at a time one hour what ever it takes hang in there hugs juie

griz104 2010-02-16 11:23:22 -0600 Report

Danni.. Please check this out!! This is what i go to when life gets me down.. This guy is FANTASTIC!! We think that we have it so bad and there are always someone who is worse off then us!! Please enjoy this…


Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-16 21:05:34 -0600 Report

Wow griz, that really was inspiring, thank you for sharing that with me…I can't say i didn't cry a little, but I'm a sap (dont tell anyone that).

cc9 2010-02-16 21:12:29 -0600 Report

griz thats great. inspiring.

Roy531 2010-02-18 10:38:30 -0600 Report

If a person didn't cry when they saw that, he is a hard cruel person. It just goes to show you how God can use a person no matter what is wrong with them. So I am saying Danni, don't ever give up, God has a perpose for your life, you just haven't found it yet. God will bless you in so many ways if you will let him, just as he has blessed me just knowing you. You are loved in so many special ways. Don't ever give up, if you give up you give in to the devil. You are SPECIAL and don't ever forget it.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-18 14:39:31 -0600 Report

Thanks Roy. I know people all over have so many problems and I am sure get frustrated at times. I also understand that we can't give up, we are all too good to give in and call it quits. :)
((Hugs)) Danni

griz104 2010-02-20 06:50:52 -0600 Report

Danni.. I am so glad that you enjoyed the short video..There is actually a bunch of his video's on Youtube and whenever i get down that is where i head.. He is truly a inspiration to me..Over the years i have learned to deal with what life has given me and sometimes what was given truly makes us stronger!! I took a course years ago that also helped.. Called Rational Emovavative Therapy.. what it came down to is why worry?? Worrying does not cure a problem but compounds it as you are adding to the problem by worrying.. i have to stop and think of that every now and again myself!!

cc9 2010-02-16 08:26:14 -0600 Report

danni ( a big hug ). mate please dont feel as if you need to be brave and live up to anyone's expectations of you. even ours! you have not failed for being human. and certainly not pathetic. your crying out and letting it all out is a timely and good reminder that the cheerleaders can get ahead of the player. and thats quite scary and altho our intentions have come from a good place it also placed quite a burden on you to maintain being optimistic and positive. i am sorry for contributing to your pressure to "perform". you dont need to. be yourself. i love you for who you are. and i believe in you.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-16 09:37:45 -0600 Report

CC, you don't need to be sorry for anything. I feel no pressure and I like the positive outlook…it helps me look up and think more positive. I love you all and appreciate you more than anything.

dyanne 2010-02-16 02:41:30 -0600 Report


Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-16 09:32:00 -0600 Report

Thanks Dyanne, I just need a little lift on that ladder to start climbing, but thanks to you all, I think I'm getting that lift, or jump start :)

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-15 20:23:45 -0600 Report

Thank you everyone for your kind words and advice. I try to take one day at a time and lean toward the positive, however sometimes it seems so hard; I get so discouraged and scarred that I feel so defeated & hopeless. Having you all here helps alot. I never had support with my diabetes before and for that I am very thankful and I appreciate each one of you more than you will ever know. So thank you and I am sorry for my negativity.

BIRDY 2010-02-16 04:25:05 -0600 Report

Danni I don't know if this makes you feel better but I need to tell you a secret " we will all get sick and die someday & somehow" :) Do not worry , you are not alone…I smoke 2 packets of cigarettes everyday and probably will be suffering from lung cancer someday.What we need to do is keep in touch for those hard days.But I'm sure , even these bad things happens to us , we will still have many things to laugh :)

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-16 09:29:46 -0600 Report

Thanks Birdy :) Laughing and joking around about stuff is all I can do, I think we all do. It lifts us up and well, it's better than taking things so serious all of the time…

2010-02-15 19:48:16 -0600 Report

I wish I had some magic words to say so that you would feel better. Heck I would write them down and repeat them for me in the mirror. I can only assure you that the higher powers never give you more than you can handle, take it one day at a time. Take solace in the knowledge that you are not alone. We know how you feel. Hang in there Danni.

JulieC 2010-02-15 19:39:50 -0600 Report

Oh my god…I feel like that on and off and it is just the worst feeling…and I have givin up a couple times..but I just keep tring harder. I totaly agree..you have to go one day at a time..one thing at a time..its the only way…and try to surround yourself with happy people..who wont bring you down and make things worse. :-)

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-02-15 18:08:43 -0600 Report

I think we all get really tired of dealing with diabetes. You will get thru this. As Harlen said. do something just for you. It will get your mind off it for a while and sometimes that is all we get, but it helps.

Harlen 2010-02-15 17:27:37 -0600 Report

You got way to much to live for way to much!
I know it gets hard from time to time
Been there and done that.
When I feel that I am stressed a bit to much I will do something just for me and this can be any thing go to the mall and look and the new stuf sit back at the park and have a tea there is so much we can do just for us.Sometimes I will get a paper and read to hole thing befor I do anything for any one els we all have the little things we like to do.
you are loved and cared for this I know just from the things you have sed.Take a brake and give your self a brake
You are the only you there is treet your self well love.
Best wishes

If you need ideas email me and we can chat Hugs

SkipT 2010-02-15 17:20:41 -0600 Report

My attitude is that I can survive anything one day at a time. I spent two years in Vietnam and that is what got me through my time there. I know that I can survive anything after that.
One day battles are a lot easier on us than lifetime battles. So go at it one day at a time.

ptsparkle 2010-02-15 18:12:33 -0600 Report

Ditto, one small step at a time. Concentrate on Today, you can't change yesterday, and tomorrow hasn't come yet. You have a big family here who is pulling for you.

giojuju 2010-02-15 17:09:46 -0600 Report

u r not alone i think we've all been there or r there. i wish i had really nice words to tell u but i dont. sorry, i feel ur pain. the only thing is that things always happen for a reason even tho sometimes we dont get, and we r still here on this planet because we have a purpose/ mission to accomplish.

MAYS 2010-02-15 15:52:28 -0600 Report

Neuropathy control takes time,it takes a long time to develope and won't go away or get better over night.
Forget the past life and the future life, what's important right now is this life,you can do it, you have gotten this far, continue the journey, don't stop.

There is always someone that you are an inspiration to, if you quit, so will they !

" Mays "

MAYS 2010-02-15 15:45:23 -0600 Report


When you first came here and posted a question, I responded immediately not knowing you but wanting to help you as I have helped others (I hope).

Diabetes and it's complications are more than rough, they are energy draining because it's a constant battle, sometimes just the repetitiveness of this struggle is enough, along with the hormonal changes, to make a Saint cry out for mercy.

That's why you must keep yourself focused, it's not easy and never will be, all it ever becomes is routine.
But routine doesn't have to be boring !

You must make it anything other than that, that's why you have to depend on your family and friends here and outside of here to be supportive and for support, also continue to educate yourself on diabetes and it's complications, such knowledge and friendships are and will always be invaluable to yourself and others !

Let your innermost thoughts and feelings out, whatever they are and look in the mirror, the person you see looking back at you is the reason to continue going forward, that person is you and throughout it all, you are SPECIAL !
" Mays "

evbaker 2010-02-15 15:23:43 -0600 Report

Oh Danni, I feel your pain. I get to feeling like nothing I do works so why bother. There were and are still times that I will get so disgusted with trying to get my sugar under control and losing the battle, that I will start to pick up something I know I shouldn't eat. I think to myself that diabetes is going to win so why should I fight a losing battle. There are times I question "why me"? I'm not a bad person, I try to always do the right thing and I feel like I am being punished for something I did that I don't even remember doing. But then I realize that feeling sorry for myself (and please, I'm not saying that is what you are doing) is not helping. I will not let this ugly thing beat me. That I am going to get this under control. Just hang in there and know that there are brighter and better days ahead and that you are loved and do matter.

Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-15 15:30:55 -0600 Report

Thank you evbaker. I'm sorry you go through the same emotions. I don't ask myself why me…my mom said it was because in my "past life" I must have been very unsympathetic to sick people.
I use to think 'why try fighting when it's pointless', but I've been more determined to get this thing under control than I ever have in my 12 years…I wish I could start all over in so many areas, but I can only learn from my mistakes i know, but it seeems to be too late.

Robert C. H.
Robert C. H. 2011-05-01 08:58:16 -0500 Report

I have been like you a couple of times due to other medical conditions was taken off all my diabetic medications and insulin but I found help and after monthes have gotten back on the proggram and now I'm back I found I needed these people because they have all gone through some kind of challange Good luck to you You are important to us

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