EMBARRASSED FOOD ADDICT

dyanne
By dyanne Latest Reply 2010-03-24 10:53:57 -0500
Started 2010-02-11 01:31:35 -0600

Well where do I start… Im a food addict ,, have been all my life. It makes it that much harder being diabetic. A few months ago I was doing really well and lost 41 pounds.I was watching my diet much better and also going 3 times a week for water therapy. Well I have pretty much gained all of it back. Im so depressed and embarrassed to even go back to the pool.I have just been eating whatever I want. Of course my sugars are terrible and I feel awful but cant seem to stop. Is there anyone out there in my same kind of situation I feel like such a looser, I know Im killing myself and I cant stop!!!! Im very overweight and there seems to be no way out of this catch 22… .


31 replies

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-03-24 10:53:57 -0500 Report

I re-read these posts, finding one of my own—I have been paying more attention to my eating habits, for about 2 weeks I am STARVED, nothing is filling enough, gain about 4 #, then for some reason(???) I can feel hungry, YET can ignore it more—-WHY?? I really don't know, but I usually gain 5#, then lose the #5, it SEEMS to be out of my control, but surely it ISN"T—It is like being on cortisone, yet I am not—-WHY??? Pat R

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-03-23 19:05:43 -0500 Report

You are not a looser. You have just lost your way at this time. You were on track before, you can do it again.

I am much like you. Diabetes comes to all kinds of people and the addition of the addiction makes our control an increasingly difficult thing. Shorty31 and I are teaming up to help each other. If you want to join us, just pop me an email and I will get us hooked up to work together.

I lost about 80 pounds and have managed to gain almost 20 back, and I just hate it too! But sometimes you just need a little help to get things going and I find that I do so much better when I am working with a few people to be accountable to.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-02-12 00:11:09 -0600 Report

I too feel addicted to food!! I LOVE the variety of TASTES!! Also I have used food to surround myself with a layer of fat to help prevent the barbs of life from gettting too deep into my soul!! BUT, I am finding that it is better to face and admit problems up front, and try to deal with them, instead of CONSOLING myself with a choc milk shake!

Then again, meds and moods can make us hungrier than usual—-I took my Glipizide tonight and am STARVED—and yes, it is bedtime, am drinking water—big time FIGHTING not to endulge anymore than what I have—but—-eeekkkk — I am going to bed and start new in the morning!! Dont give up, every day is a new day!! Best Wishes to ALL!! Pat R

Danni-the-diabetic
Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-12 00:15:56 -0600 Report

"…used food to surround myself with a layer of fat to help prevent the barbs of life from gettting too deep into my soul!"
I like your "excuse" lol that's great!

dyanne
dyanne 2010-02-12 00:23:34 -0600 Report

I would like to thank all of u i may have missed some people.I can't tell u all how much all your ideas and positive words mean to me. For any of u dealing with what iam good luck to you and for all that don"t suffer from this problem thank you for your understanding…

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-02-12 10:00:11 -0600 Report

You bet, Dyanne! As you can see, you are NOT alone—most folks to love food—are sick if they don't—- haha—Love you!! Pat R

MAYS
MAYS 2010-02-11 23:49:47 -0600 Report

First and foremost we are going to change your mental attitude towards yourself, begining with this, you are not a food addict, you are a human being who enjoys eating.

I want you to take pride in yourself and love yourself, no fear, no shame, no embarrassment, just love of self !
You have done this before, you can do it again and will do it again, we are going to skip surviving and begin living.

You must change your eating habits through knowledge of food, portion control, diabetes awareness and diabetes complications.

3 Steps, 90 days total, you have room for error but commitment to success is required on your behalf.
No overnight success stories or magic pills just will power and love ! (Don't rush take your time)

Step 1 (7 days) : Educating yourself on diabetes, proper diet and glucose control and creating a step by step plan on how to stay focused and the importance of doing so, select a circle or group of supporters and pick a good book to read.

Step 2 (30 days) : Meal planning is much more exciting than it sounds, exercising can be as simple as taking a 30 minute walk one hour after meals, set aside time to read your book daily. (This will help you to develope a daily pattern \ routine, a hobby such as gardening would be helpful)

Step 3 (60 days) : Continuing this growth pattern for 60 more days will help you to begin to eliminate bad habits and develope good ones and instill confidence in yourself daily, keep a diary of your innermost thoughts and feelings, replace snacks with fresh fruits and vegetables,
spend time outdoors and enjoy it, clear your mind.

Stay in touch with your support group, never think that you are alone, maintain your doctors visits and manage your diet and glucose daily, take your time because this takes time, avoid negative people and stay focused, developing a routine is hard, maintaining one is even harder but it can be done, and you can do it if you try !

Danni-the-diabetic
Danni-the-diabetic 2010-02-11 23:28:22 -0600 Report

Hey Dyanne, thanks for sharing your story. I don't think it's one that many of us would bring up, but one that several of us struggle with.
I use to think that I was a food addict (you can say I was), mostly at night, when I was bored…or when I was home alone with nothing to do (bored). Or when I was starting to get depressed (when I got real depressed I stopped eating). Anyway, I realized that I was eating out of boredom or for comfort; I was eating to replace something that was missing, however I really did feel hungry. Once I had that epiphany I started to exercise everytime my mind and stomach leaned toward eating, and that usually curved my need to eat. I did feel hungry, but I taught myself that their was no reason to be hungry. Don't get me wrong, there's times when I get hungry shortly after I ate, and it drives me crazy. I feel your pain and frustration, and you will get past this. It takes alot of willpower that you have to work to find. It's an addiction, so it takes hard work, just like if a person was giving up smoking.
I may be off track here, but I hope not. You can get past this and we are here for you!
:) Danni

spiritwalker
spiritwalker 2010-02-11 22:09:05 -0600 Report

It took courage to share what you have with us. Keep
coming back. Everyone here will listen and not judge.
You have our support and caring.

dyanne
dyanne 2010-02-12 00:17:03 -0600 Report

Thank you for using the word courage… im not one for sharing much… its funny because i didn't share when i was doing well and lost the 41 pounds. I thought it might be seen as bragging… but when i wrote this i was feeling so down and needed to get it out and i didn't expect such a response… from such wonderful people.

OMG-T2
OMG-T2 2010-02-11 16:02:27 -0600 Report

I'm not sure how folks around here feel about Oprah since her show on diabetes last week, but even during that show and one she had with Ruby Gettinger from the show "Ruby" on the Style Network, there was a quote I heard a couple of times that basically boils down to "Food is Love". I think that in many ways that phrase is very true…whether we're part of a culture whose gatherings are based around food, or whether our parents fed us to keep us 'fat and happy'…food is far more integral to our sense of well-being than we probably realize…and so, if food is really a representation of all things love-related, how can we NOT be addicted to that?

But as in cases of recovering addicts, acknowledgement that there is a problem is only one step, and we have to change our behaviors and even the acceptance of the idea that "Food is Love" because as we all know, food can also be poison - not in and of itself - but it can become toxic when used inappropriately.

If we know that we are "poisoning" ourselves with bad foods/behaviors, then we have to find a way to embrace better foods/behaviors and incorporate them in a way that it becomes second nature for us to utilize them. Personally, I spend a tremendous amount of time finding and trying new recipes and variations on old, "bad" favorites. Sometimes I'm successful, sometimes not so much, but I do try and in trying, I have the awareness that there are foods/behaviors I am CAN leave behind.

Although I'm paraphrasing here, Mays is right, you can't dwell on the bad side of this, you need to get past it just enough to see all the good you can do for yourself if you want it badly enough.

Good luck, I know you can do it!

Harlen
Harlen 2010-02-11 13:08:54 -0600 Report

I feel for you
Life is hard and food make me feel better that was one of my big fights
It was so hard to stop eating any and every thing being a chef didnt help much iether and I didnt get it right the first time not even the 4th time
But by god I got it now work work work at it.You did it for a good bit of time keep at it never ever give up You are the only you there is .I love me I am the only me there is.I will do it for me
I wish to live a long happy life and there is a lot more to life then food
Best wishes
Harlen

PS
If you ever need to just talk drop me an email I will respond
Hugs

mamaoak
mamaoak 2010-02-11 13:08:49 -0600 Report

oh that is to bad it is hard i know I have to fight this every day as i love food good aswell as bad. can become complacent to this it is a strugel every day but to stay alive and well we have to keep on fighting the temptaion to eat the wrong things depression does not help the situation. try and buckel up and fight fight for it is your life you are fighting for remember you are worth it.

Jeannie Holmes
Jeannie Holmes 2010-02-11 11:55:48 -0600 Report

Well, I have a weight problem. Have all my life. I lose weight and then gain it back. It's no wonder I'm so unhealthy. I don't know how you stop this. We HAVE to eat. Just hang in there and keep trying.

Justice
Justice 2010-02-11 10:35:52 -0600 Report

I don't have a weight problem but I understand the craving of food. I would also let your doctor know and they can work something out. Everything doesn't work for everybody so they can figure out what can work for you. I agree it does take time for the cravings to stop once you start remove things out of your diet. I would do it gradually take one or two things at a time or cut back on one or two things at time instead cutting out everything at once your body does go into shock. Our bodies crave sugar or carbs because they do need them the problem is diabetics can't break all those sugars/carbs down like everyone else can. So its all about moderation you literally have to retrain or trick your body. So, don't beat yourself up you can do this. Just keep workiing at it.

10fluffy35
10fluffy35 2010-02-11 07:43:00 -0600 Report

I dont have a weight issue but I have to watch target
bs. I found one thing that works for me. You
cant eat what is not in the house. My problem is
I just dont want one cookie or one small piece of
cake with no icing.

BIRDY
BIRDY 2010-02-11 05:25:51 -0600 Report

Hi Dyanne ,

Honestly I've never had a weight problem during my life but I have good observations from the people around me.First of all my husband ; he was really overweight with eating disorder but after his diagnose he started eating regularly and carefuly and he lost 46 lbs since last August.Now he feels very healthy and light.I know that losing weight is a long-term challenge so that I'm thinking that we need to go with baby steps.We all have many daily habits like eating chocolates , cakes , chips etc or drinking 3-5 cans of cokes.I believe that it would be too hard to give up all of them in the same day.This would make us depressed (this is another extra health problem) so that maybe we must give up one by one without pushing ourselves hardly.Substitution is another good way to change the bad habits.Maybe you can eat a few dried figs or appricots instead of a chocolate bar.In time you will see that a few dried fruits also give the same satisfaction.My husband used to drink his coffe&tea with sugar (here we have cube sugar and he used to put 3 of them for one mug) .After the diagnosed he started putting Splenda etc but did not like the taste.Then decided to drink with nothing.It took him one week to used to this new taste.Now he is saying that he can not imagine to drink his tea with sugar.It's strange isn't it?But time really is the best way to get used to.Sorry bothering you but just wanna say that you can do this with slight changes in a long time.Hence you also success to keep your weight fix.
Good luck :)
Birdy

jayabee52
jayabee52 2010-02-11 11:43:33 -0600 Report

Birdy, I wouldn't know how anybody could think you're bothering them. You're attitude is so precious!
Blessings
~James~

dyanne
dyanne 2010-02-12 00:06:40 -0600 Report

Thank you so much … your ideas are great !!! Why would u think you would be bothering me ??? your so sweet…

Kira_xo
Kira_xo 2010-02-11 04:27:18 -0600 Report

Hun, I am the same way. Before being diagnosed I would eat one meal a day… It would be one HUGE meal… and at night I would binge eat until I felt like I was going to burst. There were nights I would eat like 2 sandwiches, soup, a small tub of ice cream, cookies, chips, maybe make another sandwich, and drink like 3 sodas…this would be like in a 2 hour period. I would beg my husband at 1 am to go get me a large sized baconator combo or run to taco bell for 5 tacos and some cheesey potatoes. I had a VERY hard time controlling it and sometimes, I still do. Sometimes I really want to just pig out and eat everything in the house.

It is really hard to control. Now, If i get that urge I will suck down 2 or 3 bottles of water until I feel like I cant drink anymore.

I do feel like over eating IS an eating disorder. I honestly truly feel like I have an eating disorder…It's just one that is over shadowed but anorexia and bulimia…some people do not think or realize, over eating is just as serious as under eating.

Anyways, I know this is hard for you. I honestly understand. Maybe at your next doctors appointment bring it up with him/her. I know it may feel intimidating to tell your docter "I cant do this, I cant stick to the diet" BUT they WANT you to be honest. They know not everyone can adapt to change and they honestly, truley want you to come to them with whatever your problem may be. They might be able to work out alternative options for you.

I haven't brought this up with a lot of people, But I am on my way to getting lap band surgery. I am getting it purely for health reasons. I know a lot of people are turned off by weight loss surgery, but I know I need help controlling what I eat so this is a good option for me and I meet all the requirements.

dyanne
dyanne 2010-02-12 00:03:26 -0600 Report

Than you so much for your input. I agree overeating is not looked at as a disorder but their is no doubt in my mind that it is. Good luck with your lap band… i may do the gastric sleeve… I have researched for a long time…Im to big for lap band !!!! LOL it is true…

Kira_xo
Kira_xo 2010-02-12 00:08:44 -0600 Report

I agree. It is a disorder! Good luck with the sleeve! I have heard very good things about it as well! If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me =)

JulieC
JulieC 2010-02-11 04:25:34 -0600 Report

Some times Im like that too…and I feel the same way…like an alcaholic…fall off the wagon…get back on…over and over…right now Im doing good…but all I worry about is falling back into that again…comming here everyday really helps keep my spirit up and makes me keep going. Only you can fix you…and you have to care enough about yourself to do it…VERY HARD some times.

MAYS
MAYS 2010-02-11 03:21:55 -0600 Report

Your desire and will to live (not survive) must be stronger than your will to self destruct and die !

I know that it's easier said than done but you must dig down deep within yourself and also reach out for support (as you have done here) at Diabetic Connect.

Cast aside the shame and embarrassment, hold your head high, plan a new method towards success, implement it and stick to it !

It's not easy and it can be done, but do you really want to do it ?

" Mays "