Diabetic Support for Spouses

SUNSHINE24
By SUNSHINE24 Latest Reply 2010-02-02 14:34:00 -0600
Started 2010-01-31 22:58:46 -0600

I've noticed that most of the discussions are for people with diabetes. My husband is the one with diabetes. I would like to start a discussion board for those with tips for spouses.
My question-what is the best way to support my spouse? I want to be helpful to him but find myself being too judgemental or overbearing.
Any tips on what a diabetic wants from their spouse?


13 replies

SUNSHINE24
SUNSHINE24 2010-02-01 10:47:23 -0600 Report

Thank you for the great advice. My husband gets a lot of headaches (not related to blood sugar) and is often sick for 10 days straight. I have had it with him being sick so much and missing out on household duties, family events, and church. It's very depressing to me and I have been having a hard time being sympathetic. How can I change and be more loving toward him? I feel like I have lost the ability to love him, and catch myself resenting him for becoming diabetic due to bad habits.
How do I change my feelings toward him?

MAYS
MAYS 2010-02-01 14:28:56 -0600 Report

Take a walk in his shoes mentally.
Aside from bad eating habits which takes years to develope into and cause diabetes, depression sets in due to all of the chemical and hormonal changes in the body, you have to find some way together to lift his spirits. ( Love conquers all, within reason, work it out ).
" Mays "

Antique-Dave
Antique-Dave 2010-02-02 13:42:23 -0600 Report

I'm a believer in genetics as the culprit in becoming diabetic, lifestyle may speed up the process but genetics is the cause.

a 10 day headache sounds like a serious medical issue, what does the doc say about it?

I'm diabetic and I don't expect my wife to eat what I'm eating. Nor do I require her to monitor my diet, that is my responsibility.

There are some changes that affect us both such as everything is whole wheat multi grain, we have adjusted recipes to make them more diabetic friendly, we always had fresh fruit, cheese, yogurt, nuts and other such stuff in the house, just more of it now.

We both cook and I don't expect her to run a restaurant for me. I do however appreciate it when she is baking and makes a small side batch sweetened with stevia.

She reads lables but I've told her not to buy anything new thats special for me at the store.

She will experiment with low carb dishes, she will go for a walk with me, she will ask me if I will eat something she is making, or how much but she never polices my diet. If I take 2 spoonfuls of something or leave most of the macaroni in the bottom of my goulash bowl its okay.

but everybodies support needs are different as well as their acceptance of their disease.

Hinboyz3
Hinboyz3 2010-02-01 07:10:02 -0600 Report

I think what they want most is jus understanding of what they are going thru. to hold their hands from time to time, because it is a scary process to go thru, and sometimes you do feel a little alone and ask yourself why? me. Wven to go for walks exercising with them is a big plus.

gregsDAD
gregsDAD 2010-02-02 14:27:19 -0600 Report

Very goo dcomment I wish that more people could understand we don't need a mother or boss we just need our friend and as your spouse they are supposed to be your best friend. Diabetes can put strains on a relationship because of irritablitly and moodiness, but a loving wife or husband will not be critical but understanding and help you through those tough times.
-robert

Harlen
Harlen 2010-02-01 06:56:11 -0600 Report

Hello and welcome
As a diabetec I do not need my wife to tell me what to eat that much I know
I am a lucky man my wife is a RN so she has helped me in a lot of ways.she gathers info for me and in there to help me make a good choice when I am not serten wich may be best.The last thing I wish is some one to tell me what to do.
You can not make some one wish to change what they are doing,nor try to make us eat right.its up to us to do it ,if you push we will rebell.For me the best my wife can do is be there for me when I ask for her help.
Best wishes
Harlen

BIRDY
BIRDY 2010-02-01 00:42:28 -0600 Report

Hi Sunshine ,

I'm one of those spouses who supporting his husband.He was diagnosed as prediabetic in Aug 09.Since then we changed our way of eating.We eat exactly same foods.I have no exception , do not eat anything extra even I'm out.He knows that he is not alone and what he is doing is not a treatment for a sick person but it is a healthy way of eating.I'm trying to develop alternatives for the foods he really likes.I cook many many kinds of healthy foods , refrigerator and the kitchen is always full of foods.I guess this makes him feel relax . He lost 44 lbs since Aug. He eats 9-10 times a day. I always wash fresh fruits and leave them on the table to encourage him to eat.Also wash and leave a head of lettuce and he likes them as snack.He finishes a head in a day:) These are some little tips for you.
Birdy

BIRDY
BIRDY 2010-02-01 00:42:27 -0600 Report

Hi Sunshine ,

I'm one of those spouses who supporting his husband.He was diagnosed as prediabetic in Aug 09.Since then we changed our way of eating.We are eating exactly same foods.I have no exception , do not eat anything extra even I'm out.He knows that he is not alone and what he is doing is not a treatment for a sick person but it is a healthy way of eating.I'm trying to develop alternatives for the foods he really likes.I cook many many kinds of healthy foods , refrigerator and the kitchen is always full of foods.I guess this makes him feel relax . He lost 44 lbs since Aug. He eats 9-10 times a day. I always wash fresh fruits and leave them on the table to encourage him to eat.I

MAYS
MAYS 2010-02-01 07:12:56 -0600 Report

That is such a great way to be supportive,
such unselfishness on your behalf shows love and commitment towards helping your spouse deal with diabetes, which in turn, helps you also.
Keep up the good work !

' Mays "

MAYS
MAYS 2010-02-01 00:22:22 -0600 Report

No matter how frustrating it may get, don't ever stop loving yourself, it's your right, you deserve it !
( Treat yourself to something special )

MAYS
MAYS 2010-01-31 23:43:44 -0600 Report

In a word support !
How can you be supportive ?
Knowledge of Diabetes, it's causes and complications can go a long way to easing the pains of your loved one feeling as though you can't and don't understand what they are going through, this will also help you.

Help your spouse find a hobby and develope a passion for it and take part in doing things together, don't let Diabetes create a wedge between you, feel each others pain but enjoy each others happiness !

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