enough is enough

tfuller
By tfuller Latest Reply 2010-03-22 10:45:51 -0500
Started 2010-01-27 06:34:15 -0600

i have a neighbor,wich has been a freind of mine for over 22 years.ive seen him hust about every day for all these years.i was diagnosed with diabetes 5 months ago.hes one of these types of people that is a hypocondriac.im at the point now when he comes over,i make him leave shorty after.everytime i see him hes got a new problem,aways complaining and moaning with every movment he makes.
the thing is he seems to have every problem i have.i have a hard time walking…he walks around like hes got a wooden leg,i have breathing problems…as soon as he walks in the door he sounds like he just ran the 500k,stomach problems…hes always rubbing his gut and moaning and so on.
it is getting very very annoying,my wifes even noticed and went as far as calling him a piece of SHI*.

you gotta know,this is a man collecting ssi for being totally blind,but can solder parts onto computer cuircut board without glasses and can see better than i can

i saw him last night..i finnaly got a handycappped tag for my car and in the prosess of going threw to apply for s.s and he went and say (you know..u need to accually prove that you have problems,they just dont give it to you cause u act sick)
that was the last straw!! i told him to drag his as* i was so madd.i told him (you know i will gladly trade places with you any day of the week buddy! you walk around here puttin on your act like you have problems.i wish mine were all in my head like yours.its pretty pathetic you have to act sick and fake proplems to get attantion.i would like to see you walk 1 day in my shoes!!)
i dont think i will see him anytime soon..no 22 years is along time,but i just couldnt take it anymore.my wife says your better off without him


16 replies

kgb
kgb 2010-03-22 10:45:51 -0500 Report

It is unfortunate that he feels he has to be this way. You cannot help but wonder why anyone, who may or may not be sick, wants to be in your face with their problems. I know I put people off, I try not to, but when pain is flashing in front of your face 24/7, it is hard not to want to share. When I encounter people like you describe, I always ask them the same thing, are you getting help for it, what doctors to you go to, do you do therapy. At times, not always, it makes them think about what they are doing, and usually cannot give me an answer. I tell them, if you have what you say you have, then tell me why you do not go to whatever it is they are not doing. Sometimes that really stops them dead in their tracks. I know the people in my life, listen, but no longer hear as it is a constant problem. What do you do when you have a laundry list of problems, you are attempting to take care of them one at a time, but it become overwhelming, not only to you, but to those who listen to you. I drag myself to work every day, and basically sit in silence as we all work in cubicles and silence is necessary for concentration. When I get home, it is a nightmare. I try yelling in the car to get out the pain, but it always spills over into the home. They try to understand, but they have been blessed with good health, and have never had to travel in my shoes. So I understand what you are going through, although my family is burden, I do not burden others.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2010-03-22 10:16:36 -0500 Report

We all have one or two of those people in our lives. I am blessed with two. I feel sorry for them actually, because when they do actually have something wrong with them, no one cares. It is a way to get attention that is tainted with sympathy unfortunately. I have learned to tune things out when I talk to them and if I am suffering with something, they are not the ones I share it with. Because as soon as I do...the competition begins. They are lonely people, and if you can find a way to get a common ground other than health issues, then you are on your way to a friendship that can actually work, in small doses. LOL

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-28 15:37:33 -0600 Report

Hahah—I didn't know that you lived next door! hahsounds like my husband, one reason I hated to even mention ANY ache or pain, even if mine got so bad I had to have surgery—he grabs his back, his butt, his head, anything loose, and whines, till I bought a little pillow that say"Thou Shall not Whine!" But it only made him madder,not quieter!! So now you know why I have dug so many holes in my yard, for plants, (and quiet peace—-only he follows me outside too—-)but he may become fertilizer this spring if I get my FILL! hahha Kidding of course—-Who, Sweet little ole me??!! But I sure have THOUGHT it many times!! Hugs, Pat R

tfuller
tfuller 2010-01-28 08:06:44 -0600 Report

thanks guys for all your comments.i havent herd from him in 2 days and i have noticed i fell much better.no stress and seem to sleep much better.

Pam from KCMO
Pam from KCMO 2010-01-28 04:25:23 -0600 Report

You don't need negative people in your life. All they do is drain your energy and bring you down. Don't know about you, but I can do that all by myself - don't need a so-called friend to help.

Turtle
Turtle 2010-01-28 00:56:24 -0600 Report

I do not blame you for getting upset with him. Perhaps a frank discussion with him would help…then again, Maybe not.

Turtle

Anonymous
Anonymous 2010-01-27 21:07:50 -0600 Report

Detach with love or you'll be as tied to him as if he was still in your house all the time. (Free advice…may be worth the price..LOL)

spiritwalker
spiritwalker 2010-01-27 15:56:47 -0600 Report

You did the right thing. You have enough to deal with each
day. Being a person with diabetes is a challenge. One we face new each day. Stay strong, and know there are friends here at DC.

ptsparkle
ptsparkle 2010-01-27 10:33:55 -0600 Report

Sounds like your wife is a very smart woman. With friends like that, who needs enemies. Maybe a split for sometime will make him see the friend he lost, and the error of his ways. Good luck and stay positive.
Jim

giojuju
giojuju 2010-01-27 09:21:57 -0600 Report

good for u. u dont need ppl like that around u. he takes u and ur wife as joke so blow him off. there are better friends out there. u reminded me a a poem that i heard in spanish awhile back, im going to look for it and translate it for u its very nice. and it has a very good point.

giojuju
giojuju 2010-01-28 09:24:04 -0600 Report

one day a beard man went into a carpenters shop. hello my good man how have u been is your shop doing good? the carpenter responded well im about to close my shop beacause i havent had much work no body needs me nomore he complaind so long about how ppl are cheap and evey possible "bad" thing they were.the bearded man said i'll give all the money u want in exchange for something that belongs to you. the carpenter excited answers sure what do u want. well i want ur leg. what? no thats not possible because i need my leg to walk around to do my work. ok then give me ur arm. no way i need my arm to work. ok then give me ur eyes. no then what would i see with to make my work. is there anything else u are welling to take and i keep the money. my man if u think about the answers u gave me when i asked u to give those specific thing u responded u couldnt because u needed them to work. then it seems u r the riches person u can be. why is that? how can u say that if i have to work hard for what i have. well u have all the health u need so u can do what ever u need to get out there and work to earn money the honest way.

i thought this was a good story to tell when u wrote ur blog that was the first thing that came to my mind. if ur "friend" really knew about health issuses he wouldnt be wit one less friend like u. he should leave the extra money to ppl who really need it. i didnt write this to judge or affend any one i just thought it had a good point.

tfuller
tfuller 2010-01-28 14:45:59 -0600 Report

thank-you for posting that. its funny…it pretty much the way i expressed myself to him.my wife told him (i feel sorry for you to need to act sickly just to get attention)

giojuju
giojuju 2010-01-28 16:04:15 -0600 Report

ppl like that bother me soo much. y act sick? if its not necessary. when he really is sick that when he'll wish that he be his old self again

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-28 19:01:13 -0600 Report

People like that USED to upset me—big time—until I realized that I KNOW and that is the most important! It is up to ME as to how much pain I can bear and I do no longer feel the need to ACT stronger than others—-they really don't care——and then why should they?? Let the monkeys flie!! haha—Pat R