Whats Wrong With Me?

By JulieC Latest Reply 2010-01-26 12:35:43 -0600
Started 2010-01-06 20:40:20 -0600

Well..I tried to make myself private…but for some reason my name still showed up. Only because of pure embarassment for what Im about to say. Im hopping maybe some of you can relate to me or have some sulutions that might help. Im really not comfortable saying all this…but maybe a dose of reality might help me. And I am new here..and dont really know any of you…so a strangers word might be better anyway.
My diabetes in out of controle. The more I try the more I sabatosh myself. I smoke like a crazy woman. The more I think about quitting the more I smoke. The more I think about going on a diet or even eating right…the more I eat and find the worst things to eat. Example…I have a freezer full of Healthy Choise meals. They have been there for 2 weeks. I have a bag of salad..turning brown. Yesterday…I got out of work and had full intentions of going home and eating a frozen dinner. I got in my head I wanted a chile dog before I left the parking lot. So Im driving saying to myself..no go home…I turned left instead of right and went to the hot dog joint and got a chille dog…a polish sausage dog and ate them on the way home! Wolfed them down. Hid the evadence from my husband. The night before..same thing..pizza…went and got a giant slice and ate it on the way home…and hid it. I do this quite often. When I get home…I snack and snack on top of what I allready ate. Im good at breakfast and pretty good at lunch..but when supper comes…all I want to do is eat! All the time Im saying to myself…you shouldnt be doing this…why are you doing this? The more I think about it the more I eat. Every day i say Im going to quit smoking…every day I go and buy another pack. I have alot of trouble with my meds..I get sick from them so I have been on alot of different ones. I just got taken off one that worked well but made me real sick, so now Im taking 45-50 units of levimer at bed time and 4ml of glimpizide in the morning and 4ml in the evening. I have an appointment at a speclist on the 19th. Im sure they will give me a whole new batch of meds and I can start all over again expirimenting for months to see if they work. My numbers are everywhere. Some times I dont care. Some times I want to give up. Some times its so damn hard to keep up on all I have to do for my self. I feel so overwellmed and alone. My husband is 100% unsuppotive. I wake up at 4:30 am and Im at work by 8:30am. I do most days get a 2 mile walk in the morning! 1 good thing! I dont get home from work untill 7 or 7:30 pm. And in bed by 9:30. I get one lunch break at 12:30 -1:30 in the day. Im lucky if I get a bathroom break durring the day…let alone take time to eat a snack on time or check my sugar or keep that very impotant food and bs log book. I did that for a while and it worked…But I spent every waking hour I had consentrating on all that stuff…never time for me or anything else. I am so busy all day…the time flys by me. I am a public transpotation bus driver. All I do all day is carry sick people to their Doctors. And everyday I carry Diallisis people to their 3 day a week diallisis appointments. I see what is going to happen to me some day… everyday. I have NO trust in doctors at all. The more people I see going to the docs all the time…the sicker they get…the more pills they are on. I have regular passengers dieing all the time. But still I dont comply. Or is it cause I just have no time? I have to have my job. I cant change jobs. I am what I am and glad I have inurance and a pay check. Also..I have been to diabetes classes 3 times and am VERY informed about what I am supost to do and have read many books and studdied alot..so its not that I dont know. I can dish out lots of advice…but dont listen to it myself. So people Im ready for you to let me have it. Can some one tell me what the heck is wrong with me and why do I keep hurting myself…knowingly? I have no self contol at all.

43 replies

Waltznfool 2010-01-26 12:35:43 -0600 Report

HI! Its been a while since I've been to this site…how are things going for you? I truly hope everything is going well and you're doing things like AA: "One Day at a Time."

Good luck!

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-13 23:24:05 -0600 Report

What's wrong with you? You are NORMAL, as all of these posts verify! Most of us have traveled the road of depression, dispair, but when we share our experiences with each other, we soon learn that We ARe NOT ALONE! Sometimes we get so MAD at OURSELVES that we feel like we Should be alone—-but turn that little attitude into a fighting attitude to work FOR YOU! YOU ARE WORTH GOOD HEALTH! God is NOT punishing you for some long lost thoughts or actions, it is "Just one of those things" that can happen to anyone!

We have no family members with Diabetis, although my mom's sister's family has all kinds of diabetis, so it isn't new, but just a diagnosis I PRAYED that I would NEVER have as I LOVE SWEETS!

Well, after getting by with Borderline diabetis for over 50 years, I acquired type 2, 3 years ago at the ripe old age of 77 years! Why NOW??!! I whined!! I can NOT do this, I don't even WANT TO TRY! But guess what, I got onto this site, read of many others stories and what can happen IF you don't START to change, acquire one little habit at a time, like the WALKING!! Excellent, now take your breakfast meal—and so forth.

Another link to the elephant story is to tell yourself to NOT think of an elephant!! And what is the main thing that is FORCED onto your mind??! An elephant, of course, pink, purple, no matter—-it is just a trick of our inquisitve minds!

I belong to Tops and last Mon night we decided to NOT have a contest as we ALL seem to sabatoge our own bodies in TRYING TO NOT PIECE—-etc—-so the woman changed our approach, maybe we can SNEAK up on our weight! We signed a piece of paper with an amount that WE WANTED to lose this MONTH!! No pressure, just a goal of OUR Own CHOOSING!! The ones that make it get to grab a gift out of a brown, paper bag, a nice little SURPRISE> A pin or such, something small yet a REWARD of sorts!

So be GOOD to yourself, treat yourself to something, NOT FOOD, that you really enjoy, a piece of sheet music if you play or sing—-a new flower for your garden or whatever works for YOU!! Best of Luck and God Bless YOU!! Pat Roth

AddassaMari 2010-01-14 11:11:14 -0600 Report

Pat, I knew you were a "sweetie" in a rotten world. I love your post it is so very positive and reassuring.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-14 11:47:43 -0600 Report

Thank you so much! I have gotten the shaft so many times, tried to keep smiling—hahah—careful, Pat—I TRIED so HARD to Rise above it, told myself that "they know not what they say or do" Without God's help and all of your friendships, I would not have been able to claw my way up and out of those last few yards of CRAP! The air smells so nice and fresh now!! Thank you!! PR

Turtle 2010-01-10 09:22:07 -0600 Report

Hi Julie,
No need to hide. I think we all have our weaknesses and think we are bad because of them. Try some glacerna in the evening or even just before you leave work. These are best cold and poured out of the container if possible.

I like the homade vanilla best but there are several flavors.

Have you always had this type of issue with food? Is going home particularly stressful for you for some reason? I am here for you. I like your picture.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-01-09 19:04:38 -0600 Report

Well, Julie— you just answered my question when I got down to the bottom of your post. It was regarding your job. I was thinking maybe the job you have adds to your problem, with the stress of seeing all the sick people every day, and seeing what happens to those of them who do not take care of themselves. It can be very depressing, I'm sure… I agree with everyone else here. We all do things that we shouldn't. You have got to love yourself enough to do what you know is the right thing to do to take care of your health…Even the best we do, we still screw up from time to time…I get depressed alot, and want to give up, then I pull myself out of it, and think, "that's not what I want to do." But, "it is" a struggle for us everyday…Just know that you are not alone in this. I will keep you in my prayers…Hang in there and don't give up. Like everone has said, take everything in baby steps don't overwhelm yourself, and it will get better. I have to re-assure myself everyday. I have a very supportive family, but they don't know what to do for me. There was no history of diabetes in my family. My husband is the only one who really gets involved. He does the grocery shopping for me, and sometimes it will take him two hours to shop because he reads all the labels and hunts for low carb foods…Just stay on this site, keep asking questions, and keep educating yourself… Good luck to you. Hugs, Sue

Monalisa 2010-01-09 18:12:14 -0600 Report

Hi, just checking in on you…how have you been?…hope everything is ok, hugs…LISA

JulieC 2010-01-09 18:18:24 -0600 Report

Im doing ok thanks. I wrote a message above the other day. You all are so nice and helpfull. Sure makes me feel better knowing I have people to vent to and get answers from and suport. Thanks again

imsuzie2 2010-01-08 06:00:17 -0600 Report

Hi Julie…

Looks like you hit something familiar in a lot of us, huh? This post has been up a little more than a day, and look at all the good advice you got. I'd like to add my 2 cents, ok?

Why not pack a cooler or lunch bag or the like with some veggies, cheese, juice (Ocean Spray Diet flavors, 2gr carbs for 8 oz), nuts, etc that you can much on throughout the day, and on the way home. I try to make a sandwich on low carb bread (Aunt Hattie's here in Vegas) and eat half on the way to work as breakfast and the other half on the way home from work to help with the hunger. I keep packages of cheese and crackers and "Fruit by the Foot" in my purse if I run out of other snacks. For the sweet tooth I sometimes eat the miniature Tootsie Roll Pops, 3 to 5 gr carbs each or sugar-free jello. Lots of things that you can think of as "fast food" but not be too harmful.

Small steps so you don't sabotage yourself…and asking your doctor if you could be depressed and need meds for that. I had no idea what I was going thru last year was depression, but the medication made such a big difference for me, as did my friends here. Talk about addiction…I am here almost daily (it is almost 4am) and seem to need to get on before I go to bed.

And lastly, your morning walking is doing so much to help you, and I bet you are getting more exercise than most of us here, I know you are getting more than I am!!! I am envious!


ICDA250 2010-01-13 09:12:36 -0600 Report

Be careful on depression meds since some of them have the side effect of causing sugar control issues.

imsuzie2 2010-01-14 03:09:48 -0600 Report

Thanks. I am on Citalopram, since 1st week in October and my 12/31 A1c was 6.0, so I am ok on it. It is an old time drug, the generic for Celexa. Thanks for the heads up.

racheltroy 2010-01-07 17:34:53 -0600 Report

Don't beat yourself up! No one has complete self control. I'd go crazy if I did. I agree it's hard but it's the same reason why you want to drive the car after nine when you're told you can't. It's that forbidden fruit deal. You want it when you know you can't have it. So I'm going to go ahead and agree with most of the people that already responded; don't tell yourself no you'll do what you've always done and give in to the forbidden fruit.

Don't freak out yet though! THERE'S HOPE! I am 20 years old. I've been a diabetic for three years and I hated it. I never thought I could live a normal life with a not so normal condition. I have a sweet tooth so food was a big deal. It was hell trying to not eat ice cream and sweets. Ice creams my favorite. ON TOP OF THAT! I am the middle of 5 kids..and the only diabetic…having it around me constantly! AH! The out of site out of mind wasn't an option for me.

Lucky for me! I came across an online company called Melaleuca. And that's when my life started going right. They have this cool bar on the side of their website that you can shop for kosher, gluten-ffree, blah blah blah, and my heart just lit up when I saw diabetic. I've been a loyal customer to them ever since because all their products are concentrated and natural AND I CAN EAT CHOCOLATE!!! it's so amazing.

Since then, I started using everything of theirs and I got my energy back, I wasn't so depressed, I actually felt healthy. And when you have that feeling back, it's more than a relief, it's a new life. I felt like I got my life back. I'm tearing as I write this but it really changed my life, it gave me back my life. And now I'm in control, not my condition. I'm 20 years old and I'm married and happier than I've ever been.

There's so much hope out there even for people like us. Cheer up! You'll find a way to get your control back. We all will. Plus, we have boards like this to help each other out. If anyone wants to chat, I'm pretty good at inspiration and all that. =)

JulieC 2010-01-07 20:00:19 -0600 Report

Wow…I want to thank everyone who wrote to me…you are all so great. Every one of you have helped me and given me some insperation. Iv been reading everything on here the last couple weeks just to see whats going on. The support you all give each other is so good and healthy for each and every one of us. I feel better allready. Today was a good day. I have taken some advice from here and some from Dr. Oz…I love him..I wish he could be my doctor. And from other places. And I ate good today…healthy choice for lunch and dinner and healthy snacks. And I know thats part of why I feel better…I like to feel good… I do have a question…my bs have been higher because of the med I had to stop taking. This has happened before. I asked the doctors…they have no answer. Why…when Im not on meds or not enough meds and my bs is higher..140-200 and some times over that…I feel GOOD? My body dosent hurt…Im not tired, I have lots of energy..over all just feel good. Im so scared…I have to go to a new doctor…the 3rd one…Im sick of being brushed off and told..well the meds have side affects. I dont want to feel like crap every waking hour! I dont want to keep expirementing with all these drugs. I feel like a ginne pig. Any way…Im not going to keep going on. My dog is mad at me..she hates the computer and pouts cause Im on it and not paying attention to her. So I just wanted to say THANKYOU TO ALL OF YOU SO MUCH!! :-) I think I have found some friends and some people who understand..you dont know ..or maybe you do…how much that means to me.

jayabee52 2010-01-08 02:30:48 -0600 Report

If you spend some more time on the DC site, you will learn that not only are there 3 types of diabetes, but each of us has our own reaction to it to various foods & drink and to diabetes meds. The guinea pig / experementing thing is an attempt to find what works FOR YOU with the minimum [hopefully none at all] side effects. Is it tough to go through all these changes? OF COURSE! But we might want to be kinda like Thomas Edison when he was inventing the incadescent light bulb. When asked at the time how he felt about his latest failure he said: I now know of at least1000 materials that don't work, but I believe that 1 WILL." Keep up the good work so far Julie. You will be closer to eating the "elephant" that is your diabetes
All the best ~James~.

Monalisa 2010-01-08 05:45:26 -0600 Report


When you have had high BG for a along period of time your body gets used to it, so when your numbers drop to normal levels your body is going to register this like hipoglycemia (low BG) you are going to feel the same symptoms but there will be no risk if your numbers are within the normal range and your body will get used to having normal BGL, don't get desperate, take it one step at a time and remember that this is a thing of trial and error until you find something that works best for you, good luck, hugs…LISA

giojuju 2010-01-07 17:06:38 -0600 Report

true the more u tell urself no the more u want it. try telling urself yes i'll have the salad first then get a bite remember it does take time and patience but u will get out of that habit because its for ur own good. just stop telling urself no it will just make it worse

Waltznfool 2010-01-07 13:04:28 -0600 Report


I can understand what you're going through. You're right, it's a vicious circle: you get on yourself, depression, doing the things you know are not good for you, you get on yourself…a neverending repeat.
Try not to look at the whole picture…you can overwelm yourself & not get anything done. You have already taken a positive step: you're walking, that's wonderful!!! I love the "elephant sandwich" example…its true. Do what you can in little steps before you take on the next "issue". You can do this, you just have to forgive yourself when you do stumble…dust yourself off & try again. Good luck & God Bless.


ICDA250 2010-01-07 15:39:07 -0600 Report

I am praying that after the responses you have gotten today, that you can see a break in the dark clouds that were hanging over you. Better days will be coming and I hope you were able to take the first steps down your path to a healthier and better life.

So what did you plan to try first? Let us know how it worked out for you and there really are people who care and you are not alone.

jayabee52 2010-01-07 12:35:46 -0600 Report

Julie, FWIW, I would like you to know that the people who you take to Dialysis 3X/week do not ALL get sicker and sicker. Back in 2006 my kidneys quit and I had to ride a paratransit bus to dialysis. I was fortunate that my kidneys started working well enough that the Dr told me I could come off dialysis by July '07. In Nov '07 I met my new wife online and we were married in May '09. So some of us do get off and go on to live fulfilling lives.

To answer the question posed by the title of your discussion thread: You are a member of the human race! I am too! I struggle with food too, and have put on too much weight for my own good.

I don't mean to seem flippant about your trouble, but give yourself a break! Go slow change 1 thing at a time. The saying goes: "How do you eat an elephant? ONE bite at a time." Pick out one thing you CAN control, and work on that. Once you have mastered that, then move on to the next thing.

You say your husband is "100% unsupportive", could you describe what that means?

I think you're in the right place with the right group of people. You've got a lot of people here who are pretty much in the same boat and can give you a lot of insight and encouragement. All the best to you ~James~

AddassaMari 2010-01-07 13:13:35 -0600 Report

I agree with James, you need to step back, take a deep breath. You are in the right place and believe me some of the folks here have had it all happen to them, or read about some one else's struggle. This is not like having a headache—take two aspirins, have a nap and call me in the morning, This is about changing a whole way of life learned over your current lifespan. It takes TIME, not a whole lot, but some. Think of each small victory as a success.

I have not been here very long, but by participating in the various discussions I don't feel so alone and thy act as guide to keep me going in the right direction.

Start with the little things. My little start was switching from regular Dr. Pepper —64 ounces everyday and sometimes more— to diet. Now I don't even drink the stuff, It took 4 months to not want a soda.

I switched to no-added sugar ice-cream had a serving a few days ago, the last of the container. I was proud of myself because 1) I did not eat the whole container (123 g of Carb) in one sitting like I used to. 2) It took me a month to finish it. Am I suppose to be eating that, not according to my doctor. But, I did good because I used to eat an ice-cream that had over 200 g carbs in 4 servings and I ate (the whole container in one sitting) that 4 or 5 times or more a week.

Tomorrow is a new day. You get to start over and have an opportunity to get it right, so hang in there.

Harlen 2010-01-07 12:21:05 -0600 Report

You must be my sister for I did the same thing lol
then I would get started and stab my self
in the back them chips loocked just to good.well all in all it was 5 month befor I was able to shut it down and get started on doing the right thing and this is what worked for me .
Fisrt seying NO I cant have it didnt work
so I startes to sey yes If I still want it tomarow I can have it weeeee then on the marow I would sey the same thing to may self and you know what I didnt wish to have as bad so I didnt need it right now.But if I wanted it I could have it
weeeee now its so ingrained that I can keep to what I need to eat and not eat just to please my self right now I can always give it 1 more HR till I have it.It works for me I dont like to tell me NO never have never will. So just telling me I can wate just a little bit longer has done the trick I hope it works for you as it did for me
By the way I am a chef and I love good food not always food good for me lol
Just know it dose get better with time thats no to sey from time to time I dont give in for I do and after I have what ever it was I ask myself did I realy need it ??and sometimes it is and others its not now I just dont need it as much and My BS is so good I dont wish to mess up my BS and I feel so much better
I hope this helps you
Best wishes and hugs

Monalisa 2010-01-07 12:20:12 -0600 Report

Dear Julie,
I can relate to what you are saying, I have been thru this too and all because I was very depressed and in a self-destructive atitude without even knowing it! I had lots of obligations, responsabilities and problems, I didn't like my job but stayed for the benefits, didn't have support from my family either so what did I do? I was taking it out on myself!
But one day I realized that the only person in the world who could take care of me and love me the most was me!
So, Julie start by loving yourself and do things for you because you love you! and not because people say you have to.
Good luck and God bless you, if you need to talk we are a big family here to listen. Hugs …LISA

spiritwalker 2010-01-07 09:48:58 -0600 Report

Do the best you can. Its overwhelming at first. You say you walk each day. This is a positive. Its a good thing you
do for yourself. If you really need to eat on the way home
from work try a few walnuts or almonds to hold you until
supper. Keep coming here. This site is a great place to share and to be heard. Good luck and God bless.

gregsDAD 2010-01-07 06:58:49 -0600 Report

been there done that and surprisingly enough being honest i still fall prey to certain temptations. it will take time to break habits. 20 yrs of mac donalds or whatever will not go away just because someone says no you can't have that anymore. I realize though that no one will take care of me if i don't take care of myself so when i fall off the wagon and feel like its useless and i can't do this , iI just look in the mirror and tell myself that I can. you may get discouraged but your friends here at dc understand most if honest have laready or are still where you are and we know. Be strong and learn to forgive yourself for your lack of control but always, always pick yourself up and keep trying. You have much to look forward to in life and you have to just keep trying. I wish i could be of more help, but i wish you the best in your efforts.

Elrond 2010-01-06 22:11:07 -0600 Report

Hi Julie,
There's no reason to hide. Every one of us struggles at times. And if you're newly diagnosed, it's rough. I was diagnosed as a type 2 more than 30 years ago. About all I did was cut down on beer and switch from regular to diet soda. Otherwise, I didn't take my diabetes very seriously. I went on like this for quite a few years with my doctor chewing my tush at every appointment. Then, at the age of 43, I had a stroke. Fortunately, I survived but I was forced to retire. The retirement cost me my job-related health insurance and I was forced to rely on the VA for health care. I began to pay more attention to my diabetes but not really enough. Ten years later, I suffered a massive heart attack. This time, I actually died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. Only heroic measures by the paramedics brought me back. The VA implanted a pacemaker / defibrillator in my chest to keep what's left of my heart functioning. That's when I really decided to get serious about diabetes. Please, learn from my mistakes.

AddassaMari 2010-01-07 03:43:00 -0600 Report

My Grandmother used to say, you can only drift so far down the river of denial, before you get pitched into the sea. Seem you got tossed into the middle of a hurricane. Glad you survived to sound this necessary warning, Comments like these serve to strengthen my resolve to stay in control,

Armourer 2010-01-12 13:23:03 -0600 Report

Wow, Elrond your story is much like mine. Only I had a massive brain-stem stroke at 39, survived, even went to work again for four years until Docs forced me to retire. A year later I was told I had type 2. I went several years in denial, another couple years refusing to test (then only finger tips). I'm a vet of five years and the VA told me since I never served in a combat zone they don't care about me, so Elrond your lucky.

Through all this Julie, I did my cheating on the diet. Now I have kidney problems, can't loose weight, and a wife who constantly tells me my portions are to big (for her a quarter burrito is just right). One step at a time Julie, one step at a time, or one day at a time.

imsuzie2 2010-01-13 04:03:30 -0600 Report

Armourer, my husband was in the service during Nam, but served in the Netherlands. He is covered by the VA, and pays a co-pay. They are taking good care of him, so maybe you could try again for VA coverage. Good luck.

Armourer 2010-01-13 14:30:19 -0600 Report

Thanks, I've been simmering about the VA for ten years. First it was this response on phone. Then two years ago things really went down hill budget wise and rise on cost of meds. Went to local VA hospital and they told me to scram face to face. Really hurt my patriotism that I had gained since Vietnam when I hated that I was a soldier. VA again a couple months ago repeated the same thing. Your husband is lucky. Have a great new year!

AddassaMari 2010-01-13 22:27:27 -0600 Report

Yikes! Armourer, I guess Elrond and I are among the fortunate ones. I am a veteran also and get my treatment from my near by VA. I have a service connected disability so I am covered and do pay a co-pay for medication and supplies only, not for visits.

It is sad that so many served faithfully but can't get help when they need it. Have you checked with you local Veteran Advocacy Program to see if they can do anything to help a fellow veteran out?

Elrond 2010-01-13 23:24:43 -0600 Report

I have a co-pay on all medication except diabetes supplies and that adds up because I take 27 pills a day. But when I think of what all this would cost me if I had to pay a regular doctor, I figure the VA is worth the hassle. It took me 3 hours today just to pick up some insulin and then they told me that my insulin prescription is expiring so I'll need to make an appointment with my endo just to get that updated. It's impossible to reach her by phone; the VA operator refuses to put the call through.

Armourer 2010-01-14 01:33:44 -0600 Report

Elrond, I can empthaize. A few years ago I was taking 19 pills a day, and that was before diabetes. Slowly I cut out the "feel good meds," those that aren't needed to survive, just make things hurt less, etc. Now I'm down to 7 a day plus five injections. Finally it is nice that some of the pill companies are helping folks out! I'm on two programs now. Freestyle has a program in which it cost's me $50 for supplies, my insurance will only pay for a certain brand which with the help of insurance still costs me $150 a month. Your fortunate.

AddassaMari 2010-01-14 11:02:14 -0600 Report

I don't know how your VA Care Facility is set up, but aren't you assigned to a "Team"?

For example I am assigned to "Blue Team." This team is suppose to make getting care more streamlined. I am seen primarily in the Women's Clinic. But all my appointments, from Endo to MRI are automatically scheduled and I get a notice in the mail.

If your endo is in a speciality clinic, then call the clinic and make an appointment. Best way to get an appointment is to walk into the clinic where your Endo is located and make an appointment.

If all else fail…BEFORE you run out of insulin, check into the Acute Care Clinic, or better yet go to the ER, you should get an emergency supply of insulin and an appointment with your Endo.

AddassaMari 2010-01-14 11:08:11 -0600 Report

I meant to tell you, never explain the reasons for your call to the operator, it is none of their business. Ask for the clinic, NOT the doctor. If they won't put you through, get on the VA Website and file a complaint. And the next time you have to go to the hospital, file another complaint. You are entitled to certain services and the operator does not decide who you can and cannot talk to.

A couple of numbers you want to keep handy are the phone numbers to the pharmacy, your team desk, and your Endo's/specialty clinic number or extension. You can get the numbers and extensions from appointment notifications you get in the mail.

Armourer 2010-01-14 01:19:40 -0600 Report

I talked to the state vet rep and they said they couldn't help either. I know several vets who get help but they were either in combat zones or service connected disability. I have hearing loss from flying in Huey's and CH-53 choppers, but I 40 years later can't prove anything. My income is to high, it's 1,000 dollars over their cutoff. I use to feel very lucky in having my orders for Vietnam canceled (trained as combat photographer) three weeks before leaving. But appears I shouldn't have dogged the bullet, I'd be better off having been hit.

imsuzie2 2010-01-14 03:25:33 -0600 Report

Amourer, have you tried talking to a VA patient advocate? It does seem that as a Viet Nam Vet you can't get coverage is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. I have the name a number of an advocate here in Vegas if you want to give her a call. Or, call the local VA and ask to speak to an advocate. Wish I knew how to help. S2

ICDA250 2010-01-06 21:31:18 -0600 Report

I recently learned that I had gotten a little better control of my diabetes but still have a long road to travel. From the sounds of your post, it sounds like you are beating yourself up unnecessarily. Rome was not built in a day and you did not get your condition in a day. Take some deep breaths and see if tomorrow if you can correct or work on one of your issues or problems. Maybe it will take a couple of days or longer to try working on it. Then try to tackle another problem when you feel you can get to the next one.

None of us is likely to wake up and find that all of our problems disappeared overnight. Good Luck, God Bless, and Stay Well.

ginarb37 2010-01-06 21:07:59 -0600 Report


I know what your going throu. Ive been diabetic for a while now and still do the worst things possible to myself. I usually will end up in the hospital and Ill act right for a while and than right back to what I shouldnt. I try everyday but it doesnt work. IM sorry that your going through this. I have found on this site alot of insight and encouragement. ;) U will get better, I promise.

Rocket 2010-01-06 21:47:25 -0600 Report

I know what you are going through. First off, this is my firdt time on here and my first time to talk about any problems I have had with my health. I am a type 1 diabetic and have had diabetes for 33 years. I have cheated on my diet, and , surprisingly, have not eaten enough at times. The world we live in is fast paced, and I myself have seen drastic changes in peoples' lifestyles (as a whole) and am not surprised, honestly, by your problem ( did not say I did not care, or that is was right). It is too easy to grab something in drive-through, and the stress you are under (I'm not a doctor, but am experienced) may have a lot to do with what you are going through. I must stress that, in a relationship with someone, support is very important. Self discipline is key, but also accepting the problem you have is also. you are not ABNORMAL, and a lot of the people you transport every day did not all do a very good job of taking care of themselves. You and your husband will be in my prayers. I hope I could be be of some help.

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