Controlling??

Pat Roth
By Pat Roth Latest Reply 2010-01-07 22:48:20 -0600
Started 2010-01-05 23:46:28 -0600

Well, I am letting myself wide open on this one, but went to my Dr this afternnon regarding my heel/ankle. Says I have a bone spur, pushed on the bottom of my heal and said,"Does this hurt"?? well———-YES!!!

I then asked about my Glipizide dropping me so fast in a short time, was 181, took 1/2 and 40 min or so later it was down to 42! Did I feel it? Well,of course I FELT IT!! I double checked too as one time it was a fluke, but NOT THIS TIME! med was different etc— He said something about my "specialist" saying —what—I don't have a specialist, "well, you have some and I didn't know who!" I assured him that the only other Dr I was seeing was my cancer Dr and my lung Dr—-he should have remembered that after last summer!

He told me some stretching exercises to do for my heel/ "thank you" will check my foot again to see if what he suggested helped, then as the time is up so Medicare will pay for my AIC check, will discuss it all then! Sounded reasonable to me, then—-I said something about I sure was glad that I wasn't so controlling now——-(feel more relaxed and trusting now as I can defend myself at the appropriate time—-)

He asked, as he left the room, "Are you sure??"!! That I am not controlling?? To me, that has always held a negative conotation! Am I just being too testy? But deep inside I can truly say, that if I am controlling—-how else should I have repsonded to life——-that has always been pain, and guess I have been hiding behind a cement wall, chipping away as I feel better about myself!

But Controlling??!! It just came to me as I gripped—if controlling means to have your emotions in check and not go around screaming like a banshee, or throwing things, like I have often felt in the past——do you guys think that I am controlling? Or may I transfer that word into meaning STRONG? He told me to take care of myself on this diabetic thing—-so GUESS he cares a tad!! Chheezzzz——why should I even care, except caring Drs are so hard to find and I have run out of options in this small community!! Pat R


10 replies

BLC
BLC 2010-01-07 22:32:48 -0600 Report

Pat,
I saw a doctor the other day who would talk right over me when I was asking him a question without even answering my question. He did this like three times. He was so dry and just walked out of the exam room without saying anything. I just sat there for like 10 minutes thinking, "okay, when is he coming back?"…he never did. Instead the cleaning lady came in the room to clean and just looked at me like I was crazy. I said, "I'm not suppose to be in here am I?" She said, "No honey I don't think so" I left and went to the front desk. I told the lady at the front that the doctor had not given me my perscriptions she said, "okay" and just looked at me. Like an idiot I said, "Do you have my prescriptions?" She said, "I don't know what's your name?" At this point I was ready to hurt someone. So I tell her my name. She says, "Here are your prescriptions, Good-bye" and practically throws them at me. AHHHHHHH (Thats me screaming in my head). I was thinking "Oh my gosh, I just gave these people the last fourty dollars I have and they treat me like this!!!" I was almost in tears. I don't know why it bothered me so bad but it did. I am sorry about your experience. Soemtimes doctors can be jerks. But I know a couple of really great ones too. But I guess that is just with people in general.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-07 22:48:20 -0600 Report

Thank you for your support! I discovered in this posting, that I am still unsure enough of myself as a person, I stumble around trying to get my feet under me, when questioned,once more—-I KNOW what letting that foot go can lead to, Been there, and Done that! and it ain't purty!!! And I am the one who has to put up with my husband's verbal abuse about not being able to get around——

But I still need others reflections and opinions to help me keep my BOAT righted—-sigh—tis a long row to roe, isn't it?!! But we will PERSEVERE! Thanks, Pat R

alanbossman
alanbossman 2010-01-07 22:16:57 -0600 Report

Hi Pat sorry to hear about your doc seems alot of people are not happy with their docs. And just think if our goverment pass this health care bill you just might see more docs who wont care or wont have the time for any of us. So Pat there is nothing wrong in caring about ones health problems and asking docs and your health problems and getting your questions answered . So be Strong (lol)
Alan

spiritwalker
spiritwalker 2010-01-07 20:50:44 -0600 Report

Pat, you have to speak up for your self. If you don't who will.
Its sometimes hard to get Dr's to listen. They really do not
allow enough time per patient. Don't let anyone say you
are controlling when all you are doing is trying your best
to take care of yourself.

ptsparkle
ptsparkle 2010-01-06 11:10:16 -0600 Report

Sorry you are going through all that. Doctors can be great and caring and on the ball, or slam bam thank you maam, next! Hope you can survive this one. Was the bone spur in your heel? I had one, and the podiatrist gave me a couple of shots of cortisone in the heel, and so far so good. Just a thought. And yes, I know that cortisone raises our bs levels for some time. Hang in there.
Jim

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-06 11:18:04 -0600 Report

Oh, thank you, Jim!! Yes, it was in my heel, he mentioned a shot but said it would play havoc with my BS, he could take a picture of it, was hesitant so I said NO—that is part of my problem —I guess, if a Dr sounds hesitant, I just go with the flow and say NO.. And that is how I had a malignant kidney for years and no one knew it—I was too bull-headed to —no, I did insist, especially with my last bout of bronchitis/ lack of O2, I do NOT see that as MY fault, Controlling?? I thought that we could communicate, but now I wonder—-think I had better stay with him and just try to TALK with him——he really has no clue as to who I really am——-I don't usually let people that close, guess that is controlling—-

I think that this is just one more issue of my own self-doubts, time to ponder, then let it go. I am ME and I have had a hard enough time trying to figure that one out! I bot some of those gel supports, are helping some, doing the exercises he suggested, is a bit better, but not enough to run races!! Thanks for your support!! It puts me in a better frame of mind to go ahead and check those BS! Let others think what they will, but it is hard as I have always been "people pleaser"! Guess if I want to survive, I had better get over that one! Right?? PR

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-06 15:05:01 -0600 Report

I think by putting up this post, I am using a MIRROR of sorts, as "Controlling" is a term that I use for my HUSBAND!! Good Grief, am I to blame too?? Or am I just putting a negative connotation on the word, controlling! It sounds so NEGATIVE!! PR

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-06 23:48:14 -0600 Report

Even tho not many have posted anything here, it is enough that I have put those nagging worries into print, and can LOOK at them and REFLECT!! The very fact that not EVERYONE has jumped onto this post, berating me for such—has HELPED!! I am slowly gaining a better picture of myself, and stripping emotions free of GUILT! Yes, I am controlling, but that has had to be NECESSARY for my survival!

As I ponder on why it even matters what my Dr thinks or says, I am becoming aware of, "I always wanted to please my dad, and maybe life would have been better!" I know, a childish outlook, now viewed and time to put to rest! No matter WHAT, my dad was who he was and nothing I was capable of made life so tricky! Pat R

Susie624
Susie624 2010-01-06 06:05:23 -0600 Report

sounds like you have a doctor with no compassion. Certainly a lack of a bed side manner.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-06 10:51:54 -0600 Report

If he only knew that if I didn't CONTROL my insides, and I guess outside too—-I would be a screaming mass of confusion! Now that doesn't sound pretty does it! I had been so proud of getting back this far, maybe this is just another one of those steps that I need to self check, ask myself the "hard" question, and go on! PR

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