By Iroquois Latest Reply 2010-01-16 20:08:01 -0600
Started 2009-12-29 13:46:00 -0600

I hope this is allowed and it doesnt concern diabetes but I would like to request everyone to pray for my married 34 yr. old daughterinlaw who has been 2 years cancer free - diagnosed again with unoperable cancer, wont ever go away and will eventually die from it, the Dr. told her. She has 5 children from 12-18. She has cancer behind the heart and in some of the veins behind the heart, behind liver, kidney, and in pelvic area. She just finished 3 weeks of extensive hi doses of readiation at University of Oregon in Portland, Or. They hope to shrink it enough that when she does her chemo for next 5 months - that chemo will kill it and put her into remission. Evidently the chemo she had 2 years ago is one of 2 that sometimes hides a little speck that that wont always show up. And they failed to tell her that with using that one to get pet scan ever so often just in case. She went in for a kidney infection and if they would have done an mri and found it then - it would have been opeable. But they kept saying it was kidney infection and the lymph node exploded behind the heart. She told me while I went up one week to Portland with her - "mom, why me, why did it come back?" I told her only God has that answer and to turn it all over to him. He works better than all the medicine in the world. He is only one that has power to get rid or it or whatever. She told me she isnt afraid to die but worries about what my son will do and her babies. Will they be ok? This is a hard one and I believe some of my stress relates to what is going on with her right now as she is married to my son who keeps everything inside. She is the daughter that I never had and has been such a plus to me. So please keep Deadra Hays in your prayers while she is going through all of this. I would be so thankfull. Kathy

90 replies

spiritwalker 2010-01-04 17:10:16 -0600 Report

Know we are praying for you,your son and in a special way
for your daughter-in-law. Waiting is always hard. God blessall of you.

Iroquois 2010-01-15 17:56:05 -0600 Report

Thank you so much and without the prayers Dee and I would not have the support we really want and need through our Heavenly Father. Thank you so much, Kathy

spiritwalker 2010-01-04 17:10:15 -0600 Report

Know we are praying for you,your son and in a special way
for your daughter-in-law. Waiting is always hard. God blessall of you.

Iroquois 2010-01-11 19:23:05 -0600 Report

Thank you so much honey, as she needs alot of prayer. She just doesn't want to leave her kids or husband this soon but she is so afraid that the end is near. Thank you so much for your support. Kathy

salmanda 2010-01-12 17:02:46 -0600 Report

Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and praying for your daughter. I am also praying you have the strength to do what you have to do in the days, weeks, years ahead to support her and your family. My heart goes out to you and yours.
Very Big Hugs,

Iroquois 2010-01-15 17:54:57 -0600 Report

Thank you so much and I will gain from your strength to both of us to survive. You guys on DC seem to be my strength and my support to keep going and that means so much to me. Thank you, Kathy

Iroquois 2010-01-16 15:53:29 -0600 Report

I love your hugs as well as your sense of humor and just gives me a fuzzy good feeling all over. That you so much Pat. They are going to put a port in so no IV hooking up all time, do a pet scan now and then put her on 2 strong different chemos for 5 months and go from there. We are just taking one day at a time but she seems more positive. She thought her end had come till she got to talk to different Dr. It is in Gods hands and his will - will be done. Just hope her number won't be up for a few more years.God Bless you Pat, Kathy

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-16 20:08:01 -0600 Report

You are more than welcome!! We all need support at times, more than others!! God Bless you!! Pat R

Turtle 2010-01-03 14:19:28 -0600 Report

Hi I just saw this post. Your daughterinlaw and her family and your family are in my prayers. May I suggest that you encourage her to log on to dc to this post just so she can see the support she has? It might help lift her spirits.

I will have her put on my church's prayer chain and when they pray, they pray!

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-01-03 14:27:17 -0600 Report

That is wonderful, Turtle. You are a precious lady! There is nothing more powerful than a prayer chain…

Iroquois 2010-01-04 13:59:17 -0600 Report

Thank you so much Turtle and I plan on doing just that as soon as her computer is up and running agin. Or if she comes over to my house, I will. It would do both her and her husband good to read these replies. I have gotten so much support with love from all of you and it just really uplifts my spirits. GOD BLESS each and every one of you. Kathy

salmanda 2010-01-04 16:36:26 -0600 Report

Hi Kathy,
I am so glad to hear all our replies are making you feel better. At such a hard time, it is nice to know we can help from such distant places.
Sal :)

Iroquois 2010-01-04 17:48:58 -0600 Report

All I have to say to everyone praying for me and my family is that I send hugs to each and everyone of you. May God Bless each and everone. Thank you from bottom of my heart. Kathy

ancoto 2010-01-03 14:03:07 -0600 Report

Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

Iroquois 2010-01-03 14:11:36 -0600 Report

Thank you so much for your prayers and all of our friend's prayers here at DC means the world to me and my family as well as Dee's and her family. Thank you everyone. Kathy

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-15 23:04:42 -0600 Report

I just received an e-mail from one of our church ladies, it was pretty, but also said, "Once you have a cancer cell, you never are free of them again." I had thought that, not sure that makes ME feel better, but I am beginning to understand my surgeon's concern about my welfare! He seems to take it seriously—so guess I had better follow thru, I don't want to make HIM feel badly, make him feel like he hadn't done his best, as he has and IS!! PAt R

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-01-03 13:39:27 -0600 Report

There is never a wrong place to request prayers for any circumstance. My husband and I will certainly keep your daughter-in-law in our prayers. My husband is a cancer surviver. When he was diagnosed, he was diagnosed as a 4-D, and should have died, but he didn't. So, you see, miracles happen everyday. Things happened during that time that we know was only God's doing. We give him all the praise and glory. With God all things are possible no matter how impossible they may seem at the time. We will also keep you and your family in our prayes as well. God Bless You, and your family. Sue

Iroquois 2010-01-03 13:52:40 -0600 Report

Thank you so much for you thoughts and prayers. Testimonies like that with your husband as a 4-D cancer survivor shows how positively God works in our lives. I pray it will be his will that Dee will become a cancer survivor also. I know all our prayers will help. Thank you again. Kathy

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-03 14:02:31 -0600 Report

My beautician's work mate, is also a 5 cancer survivor! Was supposed to die, but entered into a special program, followed their plan strictly, and has lived for 17 more years!! The meds made her a bit plump, as it also did the others in her group, but she felt that it was a small price to pay for her life!

I was a grade 3, somewhat risky situation, but declined the experimental tx as I feel that I will go with God, most things were working FOR me, the total cancer/kidney was removed, and even tho it was eating into the fat of my tummy (pardon me, but I still find that funnyyyyy—-yuck) I am still kicking along, been 3 months now, and counting!!! Miracles do happen!! PR

Iroquois 2010-01-03 14:10:10 -0600 Report

It makes me feel so good to hear about cancer survivors that do make it with God's help. Thank you so much for sharing that with me Pat. You are such a inspiration to me and a super friend, Thanks, Kathy

spiritwalker 2010-01-02 21:55:53 -0600 Report

Kathy, Know there are many holding your family in prayer.
please keep us updated. God bless!

Iroquois 2010-01-03 13:08:01 -0600 Report

I will keep you updated and thank you so much. She is suspose to get call this week to schedule her port and start chemo. But I will keep you all posted. Again Thank you. Kathy

rankearl 2010-01-02 14:06:20 -0600 Report

god bless i will pray for you and your daughter inlaw also but please remeber it is god will and not ours hugs julie

Iroquois 2010-01-03 13:06:46 -0600 Report

I know it is God's will. But prayer is important and support to all. Thank you so much for your prayers.Kathy

ONeil 2009-12-31 15:17:24 -0600 Report

My Paryers are with you and your family. let God Help you . just beleave in him and hope things will work out. I will pray for you and your family. Bess whishes and God Bless you all.

Iroquois 2009-12-31 23:52:24 -0600 Report

Thank you and God Bless You and have a good New Year. Kathy

jayabee52 2009-12-30 04:12:39 -0600 Report

Kathy. A request for prayer is NEVER INAPPROPRIATE! You have my prayers, of course! Please pray for my bride fo 7 mos "Jem". More info on the discussion page Good Morning, Afternoon, or Evening #21

Blessings to you and yours and a great New Year to All!

Iroquois 2009-12-30 14:26:40 -0600 Report

I am praying for both of you and for Jem that her health improves and she can come home to her wonderful husband. I can say that as I know you are from your posts and replys. GOD BLESS both of you, Kathy

daniel velazco
daniel velazco 2009-12-30 19:17:42 -0600 Report

You have my prayers for all of your family. I know you have the love and support of everyone on this site. Please keep us informed. May the good Lord be with you and your family. Dan

Iroquois 2009-12-31 11:26:23 -0600 Report

Thank you so much Dan. I am going to refer Dee to this site and discussion so she can read all the positive and support she is getting from all of you. Thank you so much. Kathy

jayabee52 2009-12-31 11:47:06 -0600 Report

you might also let your son see this too, and let him know about the support she and indirectly he is getting. I know from experience, bottling up your emotions is not healthy and at least for me, it felt good to be supported, even when I was like that.

Iroquois 2009-12-31 23:51:09 -0600 Report

Thank you so much. I will tell her to ask him to read them as she looks at them. That is a good thing for him to do. Thank you again. Kath

gma 2009-12-29 20:54:04 -0600 Report

I truly belive in the power of prayers and the healing of Gods angels and of him you have my prayers and this is one great DC family here. So you an always count on us for prayer and many shoulders to lean on. Deb

Tia Shirley
Tia Shirley 2009-12-30 01:11:21 -0600 Report

I join the others who have offered their prayers and support and I join my hand and heart with theirs. Prayer is always in order, 24-7. Situations like this are very tough and thank God we have his strength to lean on. Cling to him and write and vent anytime you need. We are here for you. God bless!!

Iroquois 2009-12-30 14:24:48 -0600 Report

I have always told my whole family that the power of prayer is more powerful than any medicaion on the market. I am not saying you shouldn't take your meds but just add prayer along with them. Thank you, Kathy

Iroquois 2009-12-30 18:19:13 -0600 Report

I read a comment about God's Angels and I never thought about angels but that is so true and everyone has guardian angels. Thank you, Kathy

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-30 18:30:23 -0600 Report

Several prayed for me and sent me God's Angels to surround me, made me feel comforted and I was able to pass it on to my roommate when I had cancer surgery—-I made it, she didn't BUT hers was a late case of ovarian or such cancer, but at least her last week on earth was bearable and as peaceful as one could expect—-or hope for!! May God's Love surround and comfort you too!!! Pat R

Iroquois 2010-01-01 17:34:26 -0600 Report

Pat, thank you so much. I am sure God's angels will comfort her and thank you so much for your prayers and words of comfort. Kathy

Iroquois 2010-01-11 19:19:43 -0600 Report

I hope the angels find her and holds her right now as she is feeling that this is the end. Thank you for all your support. Kathy

judy makowski
judy makowski 2009-12-29 20:39:51 -0600 Report

Kathy prayers are always appropriate. You are all in mine for strngth and peace to get through what ever is ahead.

I am also a cancer survivor. Mine wasn't found either. I knew something was wrong. Tell her to listen to her own body. She knows it better than any one else.

Tell you daughter ( I now that's how you think of her) to do her best to live each day. To admit her fears to someone she can trust and who can hear them because she will have them. She has already started talking to you about them. This will take some of the stress off of her. She needs to keep as much of a positive attitude as possible. Not in a pollyannish way because that won't help her at all but she can still have hope.

This is where you will need your strength
To listen and love and support.She is very fortunate she has you.

Just remind her that drs. don't always have the answers as to how much time any one has or weather or not they will go into remission. That is up to God. My pathology report gave me less than a year but my onchologist was with me all the way and was positive in a constructive way. He didn't do the doom and gloom thing but he told me the truth and said we can still make it.

To this day I credit him and his attitude as having a large part of my healing. I know it can pop up again at any time. That it is inside me some place but I can still do the best I can with life and so can she. I have been in remission for 17 years. The pathology report said less than a year. I'm still here. There is no right and wrong answer to her questions. Just go where she is. Be sure what she wants to know when she asks questions. Does she just want to bounce her thoughts off of you. It's hard to try not to convince someone going this that everything will be ok. That is alwayys most peoples way of dealing with it. We have to make it better. Sometimes we can't make it better physically but we can mentally and spiritually.

Sorry I rattled on so long. Didn't mean to. If I can help let me know.

Blessings Judy

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-29 22:12:07 -0600 Report

I also believe in the power of prayers, however, I also think that we need to pray for the strength and courage to deal with what is ahead—-whatever that may be, venting does help relieve some of the pressure and worry. They always told me, "Not to worry" and in the agony of trying NOT to, I really did lose it, emotionally! You know, that elephant thing again!

I was impressed with the survival of Judy for 17 years!!! mine has been only three MONTHs, but I see no further problems, and I sure am NOT looking for them but I truly FEEL is gone. And if it isn't, I was told that would be the end as there is no further treatment for kidney cancer! Whatever—-I FEEL Positive, and that is what I shall go with! May you too, find POSITIVE thinking, as I know that it does work, in whatever way God sees, not always the way WE like, but to help us gain an inner Peace!! Hugs, Pat R

salmanda 2009-12-30 07:30:39 -0600 Report

Excellent posting! Advice give by someone who has been through it is always so much more insightful. You know what it feels like and the needs of someone going through it.
Sal :)

Iroquois 2009-12-30 14:23:20 -0600 Report

Judy, this was so nice, considerate and said and meant a lot. So much that I am going to invite my daughter to this site and discussion so she can read these replys. Again, thank you, Kathy

Iroquois 2010-01-11 19:17:59 -0600 Report

Thank you so much and everything you said is so true. I just pray and hope she survives but today doesn't look so bright. Thank you agian, Kathy

ONeil 2010-01-12 05:55:16 -0600 Report

well I wish you all the best on everything and my parys are with you and your family have fath in God,

BLC 2009-12-29 17:28:37 -0600 Report

Your daughter-in-law, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us updated on how she is doing. God can do amazing things.

Iroquois 2009-12-29 17:59:50 -0600 Report

Thank you so much and I will keep you all updated. You all are a blessing in my life right now. Kathy

Susie624 2009-12-29 17:23:57 -0600 Report

Your family is also in my prayers,with special ones for your daughter>i understand what you are going through.tell Deadra to think positive thoughts,and leave it in Gods hands.

spiritwalker 2009-12-29 17:07:29 -0600 Report

Kathy, I will keep your family in my prayers. We are here to support each other in every way that we can. Be assured
your family is on my prayer list.

Iroquois 2009-12-29 17:16:59 -0600 Report

I am so glad that you are all keeping the whole family in your prayers as well as Dee as they need prayer also and having a hard time dealing with all this. Again thank you all for all your support. Kathy

Preacher1 2009-12-29 16:42:17 -0600 Report

I will keep your daughter-in-law in my prayers. We are called to bear one anothers burden. It is never out of order to ask. I recently lost a very dear friend after a 12 yr battle with cancer. She is the person that led me to Christ in high school. What gives me the most comfort is knowing that I will see her again. Only God knows why, but rest assured He knows what is happening and He cares. So do I. Don

Iroquois 2009-12-29 16:57:49 -0600 Report

That is the best part is knowing we will see our deceased loved ones again but I just pray she won't be one of them for awhile but she is in God's hands now. Thank you so much. Kathy

Hinboyz3 2009-12-29 16:04:18 -0600 Report

You've got my prayers, you don't have to have a reason to request prayer or think that its out of order. We all need that and you've got mine, keep us all informed.

keek 2009-12-29 15:27:39 -0600 Report

I will add Deadra, you, your son and your grandchildren to my prayer list.
I know that it is not quite the same, but I have a very close friend who has been struggling with cervical cancer for two years and has not seen improvement. The cancer is spreading. If you ever need to vent to someone who is not involved, but can empathize, feel free to contact me.

Yolanda S.
Yolanda S. 2009-12-29 15:23:45 -0600 Report

I just joined this site, but I will include your daughter-in-law in my prayers. It is always appropriate to ask for prayers. It might also be good to do some positive visual meditation. Actually visualize the cells being killed, and her life in the future with her children. I know it might sound silly, but it cannot hurt. I would often recommend this to my patients (Counselor). Best wishes, and may 2010 bring good news.

Iroquois 2009-12-29 16:54:40 -0600 Report

I never thought of positive visualization of killing off the cancer cells and I will share that with her as she is not all positive at this stage. Thank you so much. Kathy

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