Buddy System

By Elrond Latest Reply 2010-01-05 12:54:57 -0600
Started 2009-12-29 03:10:49 -0600

Friends, recently, there have been some medical emergencies where a member of this site indicated that he or she was injured or very ill. Due to privacy issues, the rest of us have no way to contact that member to see that he /she is all right. If that member is lying on the floor in insulin shock or diabetic coma, there is nothing any of us can do but worry. I suggest that we implement a system where each of us picks a person we trust and share contact information. (real name, address, and phone number) This, of course, wouldn't be a requirement but it would save a lot of needless worry if one of us merely has a bad night then fails to log in for a while. Perhaps I worry too much but every time I read about someone being sick or injured, I want to do something. (I guess it's the old army medic in me)

31 replies

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-01-05 12:54:57 -0600 Report

Elrond, that comes from being a very loving, caring person. Someone who has empathy for another human being, and wanting to do everything within your power to help someone in a critical situation. I am proud to call you my friend…

AddassaMari 2010-01-05 12:45:04 -0600 Report

It is not just because you are an "old Army medic" it is because you care about people. There are some scary stories about people falling, unable to get help and being on the floor for hours if not days.

This happened to an acquaintance of mine. She fell in her hall way, she did not trip on a rug or any thing. She said she tripped over her foot. Anyway she broke her hip and could not get up from the floor. We happen to be passing by and noticed that her door was open when it normally would be closed. So, we stopped by, sure enough we had to get emergency assistance. She is elderly and obese, so that did not help. But she spent a week in the hospital and several more in a nursing home. The neighbor across the street said they saw the door open all night but it was none of their business. She was on the floor for over 12 hours
Now she has to use a mobility chair and wears a special alarm that can send out an emergency call.Several of us take turns stopping by everyday, just to say hi.
So your idea is not far fetch.

Preacher1 2009-12-30 10:03:46 -0600 Report

Hey Pat Roth, It is not a responseability to worry, It is a privalege to be concerned. It is hard to not know about someone and not have any way to find out. It is something special to be on this site and find this kind of support. Please don't opt out it would be like saying don't pray for me. To God be the glory. Don

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-30 12:57:59 -0600 Report

Oh, I suppose you are right, Preacher! BUT I DO NOT WANT TO BE RESponsible for SOMEONE ELSE going thru the guilt that I have in TRYING to help others, and NOTHING BEING ENOUGH!! This probably doesn't make sense to anyone else, but it has literally eaten me alive!

One little old lady I was responsible for, I had taken her shopping, she had no children or husband, as I turned to unlock her front door, she fell over backwards and hit her head on her porch post, I quickly called 911, covered her with a blanket so she wouldn't go into shock, she was a bit demented, suspicious, I called her nephew in another city of her being in the hospital, they FINALLY came after I had stayed with her 3 days and nights in the hospital trying to reassurre her, over and over, was also caring for my own mom, and working at a flower shop 3 days a week, and another woman in her home= 72 hours a week, and this was after I retired at 65 yrs—-My hubby didn't see that we BOTH needed to work to try and get ahead some for this retirement phase—it was ALL up to me, no matter how hard I tried to handle it—-
This woman's nephew and wife, who inherited all of her LAND etc, gave me thunder for LETTING her FALL, couldn't believe that I would take her out of her home to go shopping, HAHAH—Yow, right!! The guilt dug in deeper, even tho I KNEW that I had not done anything wrong—-those things just happen—BUT

Compiled witht the guilt of trying to MAKE my mom happy too, the fatigue of trying to get thru an emotionally challenged mom// my own kids turned against me, wouldn't speak for several years, did not GET IT!

Enough——I can not go on—-I do NOT want anyone to EVER worry About ME, I am nothing and I know it—just am trying to help others avoid some of the emotional pitfalls I have fallen into in my 77 yrs of TRYING to help others!

You guys are smart, all together and caring—so I would not stand in the way of YOU having a buddy system—-SORRY, I did NOT mean to open up like this, guess it still hurts—that your very best is NOT enough! PR

Preacher1 2009-12-30 13:02:20 -0600 Report

Hey, Pat they didn't appreciate what Jesus did for us ethier. Don't let it eat you up. He knows where your heart is and He relates. You sound like a super person to me and I love you for where your heart is. To Him be the glory, Amen. Don

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-30 13:33:27 -0600 Report

Thank you, Preacher! That is what came to me during several nights of struggling—I had another response written out, I was crying over your SUPPORT, so rare in my life—-but hit the wrong button, and it is GONE INTO THE AIRE< I KNOW NOT WHERE! And probably just as well, I was a bit emotional—now am solid again!! THAN YOU!!!!!!! Pat R

BIRDY 2009-12-30 13:44:02 -0600 Report

Pat , I know how hard to take of someone's responsibility .My husband and me are taking care of his aunt and it's really a big challenge.I have read your above post and clearly understood that you already did your best , yes you are right , you do not need any other struggle.
By the way , I loved your new picture very much:)

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-30 15:43:06 -0600 Report

Thanks—there were somany more issues, the elderly man suffering from a stroke, I went to the bathroom, returned and he had accidentally voided in bed, he could speak, I tried to read his actions—-HE GLARED at me so DEEPLY, it seared my soul, had to go off of the case because he was so angry when I entered the room after that—broke my heart—-too tender hearted, I guess——more and more cases—it just added up, I guess—-I admire others who can be responsible for others, GO AHEAD, don't let my erruptions rock the boat———usually I can keep my big mouth shut—-I not only THOUGHT that I was alone, I was-

there was so much more, but everyone has their own issues too, so——shut up, PATRICIA ANN!!

jayabee52 2009-12-31 01:24:06 -0600 Report

NO Patricia Ann, PLEASE DO NOT SHUT UP! One of the things we are all about here at DC is to support one another in our struggles and issues. That means listening when someone is venting and offering words of support.

Yes, EVERYONE has issues. The smart ones let them out, and talk about them. The foolish bottle them up, but they end up leaking all over in unexpected ways. My counselor when I was in KS was right when he said "Feelings Leak".

So please Pat, don't shut yourself up when something is troubling you.

BTW: I like your new picture too.
Another BTW: When I was a kid my mother would say when I was in trouble: James Allen PATRICIA Baker. When I asked recently why she said that she said she didn't know.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-31 11:32:16 -0600 Report

Oh, thank you!! So we do have something in common!! Hahah—-Why Patricia in the middle of your name, I would love to know the thinking behind THAT one!

As for me, my mom would holler, Patricia Ann, do you think that you are the Queen of Sheba? Usually at dish washing time! I always wondered how she knew that I had a magazine to read, under my skirt tail, on my way out to the outhouse!! Smart Moms!! hah

Yes, sorry but this Buddy System just opened a unresolved core of my being from the years past—A BIGGY to me, and nothing that anyone around here wants to listen to, think it wouldn't have eaten at me so IF someone would have—-so get self conscious if it LEAKS out , even here—AFRAID that someone will HURT ME! A fear that I need to work on——THANK YOU so MUCH for listening!!! This round proves how GREAT this site and its people are—-we all slip, and it is refreshing to know that others care and will help you back up again!! Pat Roth aka/ the "Queen of Sheba!"

jayabee52 2009-12-31 12:11:34 -0600 Report

To the "Queen of Sheba" LoL!
I like this site immensely. In a way it is better than meeting face to face, because instead of REACTing, at least I can take some time to REFLECT before I RESPOND. That is helpful to me. If I REACT I may not have thought it through and might react wrongly or not the best way for the situation.

I also like it that I can edit my reply after iI post it. I dislike seeing a typo or other blunder I've typed and am frustrated when I can't go back in and edit it [on other sites] This is way better!

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-31 14:35:51 -0600 Report

Yow, reaction is NOT the best way to go, I am trying to LEARN to STOP and think, not blow, then think—-sigh—-Am still in "training"! Pat r

Preacher1 2010-01-01 11:42:41 -0600 Report

Sorry I have been away for a few days Pat. I have been down with an upper respiratory infection. I am doing much better now. You have to know that Satan is planting seeds of doubt in your mind. Just claim the promise God gives us in That I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. With that strength there is no mountain to high. To Him be the glory, Amen Phillipeans cp 4


jayabee52 2010-01-01 11:58:47 -0600 Report

I am glad your URI is better, Don. Those are a real thorn in the flesh from Satan,

When I get a URI/sinusitis I get peripheral vertigo get dizzy, can't focus my vision, and eventually have to "lose my cookies". That knocks me out of doing anything until the URI gets resolved.

Glad you're over it.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-01-01 22:41:10 -0600 Report

Boy, resperatory illnesses are ROUGH!! As for my state of mind, I KNOW now why and the how of it all, denied and buried it till all was twisted——better, but sometimes I slip, like James said—"emotions leak"

Too painful to discuss, has nothing to do with superficial thinking——

I am glad that you are feeling better, continue onBest Wishes, PR

gma 2009-12-29 20:44:03 -0600 Report

I like the idea there are a few that are no longer on the site I worry about dont know if they just up and left or if something had happen so John and Amy we need your input on this one

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-29 18:22:40 -0600 Report

Like suggesting that the person who wondered about a 500 hi BS, I asked John if he could "ring his bell"! I really don't know how long one can stand that hi a reading, but there should NEVER be any question over a reading that high! John said 300 was the warning limit—I didn't know that either——as mine hasn't gotten over 236—PR

Elrond 2009-12-29 18:33:12 -0600 Report

Right, but taking 62 units of R scared me too. Unless she's very insulin-resistant, she could very well have crashed severely. I wish we knew what happened.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-29 22:24:47 -0600 Report

See, I know nothing of that part of it, the units, I have been just on oral meds—-BUT in my simple state of mind, THOUGHT I had my BS down for over two weeks, without meds—-WELLLLLLL—-THis eve I kept feeling light headed, dizzy off and on—NOT RIGHT, thought that it couldn't be my BS now! WRONG! I just took it and it was up to 181, which is high for me—-see why 500 would rock my boat, but GOOD???!!!

Well, Quickly I remembered that I had eaten 3 bites of a pure, chocolate bar from the church, did so yesterday too——and it went up to 163——took part of a Glipizide as it drops me so quickly—
Deduction?? Pat, NO CHOCOLATE—-period, it zips me up so fast, even when I thought that I was safe—NOT!
So folks, if you don't hear from me every day or so, I probably ate some chocolate——really not funny—-sigh—-

You know—I think the reason I am dragging my feet on this buddy thing—I am thinking of the pressure that it puts on the other buddy—-Have you been in a position where you were responsible and the end was not good?? I try to not think of that part of it, but after working 35 years in the hospital, caring for others too—-I am releasing anyone to NOT worry about ME, just look after the others———PR

spiritwalker 2009-12-29 17:52:48 -0600 Report

I think this is a good idea. Perhaps John or Amy could give
some in put. Many members list only their state . This is
going to help us look out for each other.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-29 15:00:38 -0600 Report

I do think that it is a good idea, BUT be careful who you invite into your lives—-If you are weak too, it could overwhelm some, if they are not truly stable either! Some caregivers are already in over their heads—WANT to help, but any more stress, even tho it is someone elses' issues——Guess if one had that choice and VOLUNTEERED it is a good idea! Guess I partly wish someone could have volunteered to help me, years ago, but folks on this site have helped NOW—-so guess the timing has to be about right to benefit. Some still think that they NEED to suffer more before they can accept well meant help. Just me and my humble opinion! Go for it!!! ——PR

ginarb37 2009-12-29 14:54:46 -0600 Report

That sounds like a great idea. I will think about it since ive only been on here a short while. ;)

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-29 11:03:16 -0600 Report

Sounds good, but I have already tried it, their phone didn't work—-but I did not have the name of the facility, and should have pursued it, didn't, turned out OK, and there were supposed to be people checking in, but still I worried.

An army medic??? Wowo, my dad was an army medic in WW2, stationed in the Philipines, New Guniea, and Australia.——-I think—wow—just had a senior moment—at least it was 3 places in the Pacific—-PR

ptsparkle 2009-12-29 10:45:36 -0600 Report

I'm game, count me in. I've only been here a short time, but those who post regularly, seem to care about each other, and are always willing to share and help. I wouldn't have a problem at all.

Hinboyz3 2009-12-29 09:57:29 -0600 Report

Yes Elrond, I think that is a very good idea, I feel the same way you do when you read or hear about someone being sick, I just want to reach out and check on them even if its a email or a phone call from miles away. WE should do it, cause we all care.

salmanda 2009-12-29 08:56:31 -0600 Report

I think it is a good idea especially in light of goddess. I just found out today that she passed. I too will give it some thought. Perhaps John or Amy might have some input on this as well?
Sal :)

Preacher1 2009-12-29 08:49:14 -0600 Report

I am new to this site, but I see some benifit to this Idea. I would be intrested in seeing this implimented at some level. I will be praying for this Idea and watching expectantly!

jayabee52 2009-12-29 04:08:42 -0600 Report

Howdy David
I'll start off. I think it is a good idea.

I had an episode back in 2006 where I was on my bedroom floor for 6 days. It wasn't directly diabetes related, my kidneys shut down due to an infection and I had to go on hemodialysis to remove the poison which had built up in my system. If my son hadn't come to where I was living, and took me to the ER, I doubt I'd be here.

On the surface it sounds like a good idea to me. I will give it some thought and try to determine the pros and the cons of this idea.

Praying a safe, healthy, happy and prosperous New Year to you and yours ~James~

Next Discussion: How High »