By imsuzie2 Latest Reply 2013-04-19 12:41:21 -0500
Started 2009-12-26 16:02:18 -0600

Does anyone else 2nd guess their choices in friends? Do you trust your gut feelings or let others make you think you are making a mistake. Like making friends with strangers online and believing they are being honest with you, or will they use info innocently discussed to track you down?

13 replies

sNerTs1 2013-04-19 12:41:21 -0500 Report

Hi Suzie ~ I like to think that everyone is honest … but I know in the real world that we live in, not everyone is so I am not naive by any means. I trust, until I know I cannot. I like seeing the whites of peoples eyes, eyes just don't lie and neither does your gut.

I think it is different for men online than it is for women, and I only say this because, they seem to be able to protect themselves better than we can. Online for me is, I will share my fb with you, I will give you my email but I wont give my phone number out unless I was incredibly comfortable. Of all the years I have been online, I never have done that.

In here though, this community, it is different … we are here for a common reason. Although people can "catfish" under any scenario, I like to think the people in here are genuine. A few have shared their numbers with me should I want to talk or needed help and I thought that was very nice. =)

All I can say is … follow your guts. If it feels like there is something weird, there usually is and just be cautious until you are sure one way or another.

Hope that helps if at all. Its just how I look at this sort of thing. Hugs ~ Cheryl

Turtle 2009-12-27 10:03:36 -0600 Report

This is a good topic S2. I think online you have to be very careful because you do not know the person like you do a person face to face. It is like how some of us, myself included, questioned whether Goddess really passed away or not. Some ppl fake info like that. I asked John if he could verify it for us and he did. I trust John cuz he helps run this site.

I would never lie about anything, that's just not me and I would not hunt anyone down. If a person I have grown to trust asked for my address or phone # I would probably give it. Right now, my phone has been temp. disconnected tho because I cannot pay the bill.

I have a phone card and that helps me stay connected to my friends.

ELROND - can I have your number please? Please give it to me in a one to one conversation rather than in an open forum.


Richard157 2009-12-27 09:21:45 -0600 Report

I agree with you Antique Dave. I trust people until I see a reason not to do so. I post on 9 or 10 sites and I do find some phoney baloney folks sometimes. They are commonly called "trolls". Some of them have been banned for being imposters and/or telling lies at which they were caught. I have moderated two sites so I have first hand information about these cases. I have knowledge that would curl your toes!!! It is best that I leave those cases out of this discussion. LOL!

Antique-Dave 2009-12-27 07:34:27 -0600 Report

I try to trust until I have a reason not to.

For all other situations well, thats why I keep a shotgun by the back door.

Our family has dwindled over the years and there really isn't very many of the immediate family left alive.

Our holiday gathering fit around the dining room table. These online forums for diabetes have been great although I think that other types of forums could have different results. I'm not dating so I don't have to be concerned if I'm chatting with a 300 pound beer swilling ex con pretending to be a 21 year old hottie.

Most of the deceptive posts here center around someone trying to sell us something.

Avatars don't matter, here its all about the big D, how its impacting our lives and what we are doing to deal with it.

I will say though that when I first joined and got some friend requests in my mailbox I thought whats up with this?

After awhile when people are posting and sharing you can get a pretty good sense of them and who they are. More so sometimes then if you met them in person. Face to face meetings can influence your perceptions before you even get a word out but online you get to know more of the essence of a person.

Hinboyz3 2009-12-27 07:10:27 -0600 Report

In these days and times, you have to use your own feelings when picking and choosing your friends. We are all human and sometimes you do have to put up your guard to protect yourself at times. But here on this site, I enjoy and like talking to everyone. I teach my children to treat others the way you want to be treated in this life. Everyone has feelings and no one wants theirs hurt. And everyone deserves respect too.

hbkunkel 2009-12-27 06:39:54 -0600 Report

I do not think the majority of people on dc would do anything to track anyone down. I believe we are all friends with a common problem and it is great to get support from others who know what we go through. I think Harlan hit it on the head and so do many of the other responses. I am an open and trusting person who happens to also be a people person and enjoy this forum a great deal. I am also aware that this is an open forum so I would not expose things here that are too personal but for trusting people here. I do.

imsuzie2 2009-12-27 01:25:26 -0600 Report

Harlen, you know what I am talking about now…I sent you info.

I like to think I have good gut feelings, and I think "meeting" friends here is different from, say Facebook or a dating site. I think I brought this up due to a specific circumstance and some family reaction. I have not talked to anyone here who I think would lie about the condition or themselves, and the specific person has been pretty upfront about things. And, it is just email with no dating in mind. Heck, I'm 17 years older than this person! My home and cell numbers were on my email address, but I have had NO calls or any inappropriate emails. I sure appreciate all the input and hope more speak up on the topic. S2

spiritwalker 2009-12-26 19:09:48 -0600 Report

I came to this site to learn and share. I am an open person
anyone can go to my profile if they like. I have found people I consider friends. I have found here caring and
sharing people with a sense of humor. I appreciate and
value all who share from their experiences.


JulieC 2009-12-27 14:46:24 -0600 Report

Hmmm, I dont know what to think…I trust no one 100%…but if you dont give personel information out…you should be ok. I trust enough that people who come here to this site are looking for help and advice…from people looking for the same…after all dont we need all the help we can get?

Elrond 2009-12-26 18:52:12 -0600 Report

But in this forum, there have been a couple instances where a member was ill or injured. A means of contacting those members would have made many of us feel much better. I can visualize scenarios where it could even be lifesaving. I'll gladly share my cell phone number with anyone who cares to ask.

Deb-G 2009-12-27 11:06:14 -0600 Report

Awe Elrond this is a wonderfully loving person you are…

Being a woman I would hesitate to do this…I have always felt that my home is my childrens sanctuary…That space was violated once by someone who tracked me down using my phone #…not cool at all…so it becomes kind of a questionable situation I think for women especially…(not that women dont stalk but I think its more common the other way around)…It was scarey to me…so…online is online to me…EEK! lol…I've seen silly "fake death" stuff…people sending money to someone for what turns out to be a fake illness, and much more…so i guess i have become pessimistic…lol

I however still do enjoy sharing in these forums, common tips, emotions, and real things we all have in common :)

You sound like a truly giving man! :)

(PS…ok after re-reading…I realize my post is directly related to how scarey I found it that someone could just "find me" like that…so maybe caution is advised but faith in human kindness should still be embraced) :-/

Deb-G 2009-12-26 18:26:48 -0600 Report

I think "in person" we all have instincts about friends and whether they are real or fair weather…

Online…honestly my feelings on that are its not the appropriate place to trust in that manner…Limit what you share as far as personnal info…that doesn't mean a forum like this isn't useful and full of good people and information…but…its gotta be kept in perspective and safe…

Online is online…but…thats just me :)

Harlen 2009-12-26 16:45:53 -0600 Report

frends are grate unlike famly you get to make the choise and its up to you
I would not track any one at all
If they dont give me there phone # and tell me when its ok to call I will never ever call.
I know a lot of people do lie online
But I dont think menny wish to be a diabedec lol
frends are frends only some of my frernds here have my ph# and or my addres
best wishes

Next Discussion: Avandamet »