Husband is not a supporter of Diabetic food choices

By ALHanel Latest Reply 2009-12-31 10:15:55 -0600
Started 2009-12-08 21:14:23 -0600

I need some advice. How do I cook healthy for a man who thinks steak and potatoes is a meal? I try to eat salmon, tuna, chicken and some pork and very little red meat, but my husband thinks that red meat should be at every meal. He doesn't like chicken or any kind of fish. I was told that my two year old can't have splenda, so how do I bake for me, when I can't let him have any of it. I have tried to maintain my weight, but my mid section is expanding and I am not pregnant, but I look like I am. HELP!!!!

79 replies

sweetsuecitysue 2009-12-19 06:41:49 -0600 Report

From personal experience, some spouses are selfish and controlling, leading to situations that conflict with the best interest of the one that is in need of support whether it is health needs or weightloss, etc. Either way, it's time to put on the "big-girl panties" and learn to love yourself and value yourself enough to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. You can't take care of your family if you are not around and the reality check needs to happen so that you realize selfish people will let their spouse die .. it's a harsh reality but true… many spouses have given until they had no more to give.. those that are selfish just keeping taking.. even if it is to your demise.."learn to love yourself first" even at the cost of the relationship.. you only have one body… "no trade-ins" one per person! Also, your children need to have a healthy example.. it's called "self-preservation" and it is applicable in this situation.. don't be afraid to rock the boat and love yourself enough to do so..

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-19 10:28:55 -0600 Report

I so agree with you, sweetsue!!! It was a bitter pill for me to swallow that my being nice to the point of being STUPID (my own thot—-) that HE would CHANGE and be more like ME, I guess—-It finally registered, he is who he is, and I am ME! So, out came my defenses, tired of being that door mat—-take care of myself, no one else would, for sure, and it seems that if you can't, or don't, it lowers others' respect for you as a person too!

It takes courage to learn to stand up for yourself, and be responsible for your own thoughts and actions, but is essential to gain Peace in your soul! And I didn't have to yell to be heard, just knew in my OWN HEART that I was acting in my own best interests, and let the chips fall where they may———soon people, including my hubby, learned where to draw that line between advice and insult! I now just hold up my hand —-Stop—-don't talk like that to me—-and he gradually has stopped, now makes kind comments, which is a lot more positive and supportive!

It's a test for each of us to work together in a relationship——-food being only one of the subjects for discussion—-I try to respect him for his own opinion, and no, I do NOT have to think like he does, just respect him and he had better respect my opinion too, or ————-I just look at him, smile and walk away, leaving him standing there wondering——-??? HUgs, Pat R

Edie 2009-12-19 20:43:33 -0600 Report

Pat you go girl! I have been that way for alot of years now. I answer to only my self and no one else. The pass few days I have found out I love it when Bill is out on the Road and not at home it is so much nicer and quiet too. He is acting like a little boy when things don't go his way. He took the keys to both the truck and car away from our oldest Daughter and left it up to me to tell her. She then got mad because I told her I am not argueing with any one and that is the way it is. She needs to get her own car and be happy that I can still drive her to find one. LOL She has Monday only to find one he said and then she is on her own.
Starting in 2010 I am no longer helping the kids at all no babysitting no moving in our home any more they are all Adults and need to stand on their own two feet he said. They take addvantage of me he says and that is ending so that I can do what I want and not when they no longer need me. The last time I babysat for the oldest one I got sick and was throwing up for 2 days no more of that and she has been told when you leave the house your kids go with you. The oldest boy was told on Wed. the car he is driving goes into his name and he has to get his own car insurance we are no longer carrying it on the car. The next son was told to get his License back as I am no longer driving him all over Gods green acres either. then the youngest girl was told to find a place for her and her son as she is no longer moving in and out all the time when things don't go her way either. So now I can get back to my Quilting and be happy again.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-20 00:59:17 -0600 Report

Hey, Edie, it sounds like you have a jewel there!! Hang on, at least I agree with him too! haha—Bless YOU!! Pat R

Edie 2009-12-21 20:15:49 -0600 Report

she now has a mini van and is gone to Indy to visit her oldest Daughter and meet her boy friend tonight with her younger sister and the kids.

nevermore 2009-12-15 08:52:11 -0600 Report

My friends and family never even realize they are eating "diabetic". It is simple to cook almost anything to suit both your diets. Treat him once in awhile to his traditional likes, just planning that he gets a BIG serving of the unhealthy junk and smaller servings of the healthier sides, and vice versa for you. I often "fill up" on the healthy salad with just a taste of the entree that the spouse gobbles up. Don't believe all the hype about Splenda, either. It's in lots of stuff already that is given to young children, and there is no proof it's any more danger to them than anything else. Get creative, find good recipe books and sites, and start adapting your recipes to diabetic versions. I think I eat more variety and more flavorful meals than I did before the big D!

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-15 11:56:58 -0600 Report

Yep—I also am swinging over to more herbs and spices—-after all, food is only the CARRIER or medium, for flavor, and that flavor is up to each of us, some control for us, after all. PR

Edie 2009-12-15 15:23:22 -0600 Report

I love to experment with all kinds of spices and herbs. I have two shelves in my kitchen with nothing but spices and herbs on them. When listed in a note book they cover 4 pages is it a 5x7 inch book.

BethMM 2009-12-13 12:52:20 -0600 Report

I spent about 5 years heading up a diabetic support group for teens and their families, alongside a psychologist. As a 39 year diabetic, I've experienced the patient side of the disease. People do forget, however, that all other members of your family and friends are affected, as well. The process of dealing with a chronic illness is the same process one goes through with the death of a loved one, and some people never get past the "denial" stage, which is still where your husband probably is.
You can't change his attitude if he doesn't want to change it, and you can't help him if he doesn't want help. Number ONE-you CAN eat baked goods made with SUGAR rather than substitute. Carbohydrate is available for Type II as well as Type I. If your doctor doesn't work with it, call around and find someone who is. You don't need to give up your current doc, just add on. Also, the sweetner TRUVIA is natural, not a chemical, and is completely safe for your little one. It's a naturally sweet plant-tell your husband it grows, just like sugarcane or potatoes!
The question of cooking separately for yourself depends so much on if your otherwise supported in your marriage and the health of it otherwise. It's about personal choices and happiness as to whether you do this for the long term or just until your husband adapts and accepts (if ever). You're right to be concerned aboutthe weight, especially of where you're gaining it. It puts you at higher risk for heart disease, and diabetes is the LEADING cause of heart disease in women. I hate to tell you, but exercize is just as important, and you won't lose the weight without both aerobic and weight-bearing exercize. Watch portion size, there are a number of sites (including WebMC) with calorie and exercize calculators.
Give your husband support and understanding unless you know he just won't budge and it's been a while (even up to 2 years). But gently remind him that you and your child both need support as well. He's going to want to fix the problem-that's the male thing, and since he can't fix it he'll be frustrated. But he can HELP, which is also doing. Perhaps ask him to run to the store and pick up some Truvia. Or to the bookstore for a particular book you heard about on diabetes and staying healthy. Leave articles, printouts, info the doctor laying where he can see it, but partially covered. The human psyche is attracted to something slightly buried but sticking out. You're not tricking him, honest.
Know this was wordy, but I so hope it helps.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-13 13:28:56 -0600 Report

I thought you made a lot of good points,Beth. The psychie is tricky too, isn't it? Curiosity can be your friend! Pat R

cabane 2009-12-13 10:37:07 -0600 Report

You have to be strong and keep in mind that you could eat anything with moderation. He want a steak do it and for you eat it with a nice and healthy salad. I really dont like splenda for baking maybe you should use ideal its better than splenda. Happy Holidays.

alaska_jamie 2009-12-13 07:49:03 -0600 Report

Luckily, you can cook a pork bit, portabello mushroom or chicken breast, etc. easily while cooking a steak for your DH. Grilling or broiling are great methods of preparing for a low fat, delicious meat (careful of that fish, though) without having to fry for additional fat. A little bit of meat with lots of veggie sides helps that meat to have less impact, too… we've come to appreciate mashed cauliflower (done with non-fat canned milk, trans free margarine and a bit of nutmeg) instead of mashed potatoes (which, when we have them, are mostly cabbage, cheese, onions and bacon in an Irish dish called Colcannon…yum!) I didn't trans my husband overnight to healthy eating, it was a little at a time, a meal at a time, and always our Saturday night meal is pretty traditional although portion controlled (Sunday is just too busy!) I bake a LOT, and would remind the Cranberry cooker that if she wants her cranberries to "set" she needs a bit of sugar and some acid… kitchen chemistry, heh. Hope this helps some. Oh, I've been D for 12ish years.

Pam from KCMO
Pam from KCMO 2009-12-13 06:50:13 -0600 Report

Your husband's resistance to your new diet could well be based on fear - fear that your changes will adversely affect him, that his life won't be the same, but most of all, fear that he might lose you. I've found that, if you look underneath the anger someone's expressing, the underlying emotion is often unacknowledged fear (or grief). The many folks who've suggested he go with you to your next doctor's appointment (if he WILL go) are right. The doc - if he or she is any good - can help him understand that diabetes is manageable - and, as you can tell from the many postings, there are ways to cook so that everyone's happy.

Edie 2009-12-13 05:21:17 -0600 Report

I have been Married for over 30 years to Bill and he was the same way till this past March now he is starting to eat the way I have needed to for years. Most of the time I would cook what he wanted but on some occasions I would cook what I knew I needed and told him to eat it or go hungry. Now we both have to eat the same way and he has lost weight and now needs new pants as all of his is to big for him. LOL

I have learned to do as I want if they don't eat what I fix then they can fix their own. As for the little ones make stuff for them and keep yours in a different area of the kitchen so that they don't get ahold of it.

Hopefully this information has helped you.

appleseed 2009-12-12 19:16:03 -0600 Report

I am just curious to know how many of you have tried Blue Agave, how does it react with your sugar levels!! I have several friends who claim it works great for them!

blacdragonrider 2009-12-12 14:59:33 -0600 Report

I find that people like this are usually selfish and have only one concern and that is for themselves, they truly do not care for those they claim to love, they only care about themselves and so therefore do not and will not support anything that is needed for them to stay healthy and live longer with them as a partner.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-12 15:03:43 -0600 Report

Yow, tell me about it! I finally have grown up and think for myself!! What a relief—-if you don't care for yourself, I would hate to entrust my health to ANYONE ELSE!! PR

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-12 15:03:44 -0600 Report

Yow, tell me about it! I finally have grown up and think for myself!! What a relief—-if you don't care for yourself, I would hate to entrust my health to ANYONE ELSE!! PR

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-12 14:54:09 -0600 Report

I don't have trouble with my husband so much, as I do FRIENDS at club meetings and parties. They "don't complain", think I do too much, but this last round of cancer shut that up for a bit! One is an RN and she swears that I am NOT a REAL Diabetic, stating that over 7 or 8 is a REAL DIABETIC! (Mine was 6.8 I think). For awhile I felt badly, maybe it was just another way of my getting attention—I didn't think so——self doubt can wear you out!

Then my Dr is concerned and so I said so, now when I turn down their pies and cakes, they just snort, or look away—-and NOW I DON"T CARE! I KNOW, and I sure do not want to develop anything more, and THAT IS MY CHOICE! So go fly a kite folks—-haha-_PR

amd2662 2009-12-12 14:03:19 -0600 Report

I have been cooking several different meals for years - since my children were young. My son would eat this or that but my daughter would not. So, I have always divided the meals into ways my family liked.

Take potato salad - my children eat it with sweet relish, my husband with dill relish and other items (celery, bell pepper, onion, etc.) my daugher and son-in-law just want mayo, mustard, and egg. So, I begin by mixing the ingredients that go into all 3 of the potato salads, then, separate into 3 different tubs so I can add the additional items to the other two. The big problem with potato salad was convincing my husband he did not need to eat 1 lb. of it in one sitting. Over time he learned how much he could eat that would not affect his BS.

The same goes with everything else out there. I read all the labels on everything I purchase. I never use sugar in anything I prepare for my husband - for him I use small amount of honey because he refuses to use any artificial sweetner. I make 2 containers of iced tea - one with sugar for me and one with no sweetner for him.

The bottom line is you only have 2 choices if your family is unwilling or unable to eat meals you need to prepare for yourself - 1) Cook only for yourself and let them fin for themselves or 2) Cook to separate main courses while preparing the same sides dishes for everyone else.

Me2 2009-12-12 13:33:14 -0600 Report

Too bad he feels that way! He really should be supportive of your diet. But, that considered, cook ahead for yourself and freeze your own meals. Then you can cook for him every day, however, I would tell him if he doesn't like what's in front of him…eat out…:)

BIRDY 2009-12-12 13:00:48 -0600 Report

AlHanel , are you still in the kitchen :) We wrote many replies but no news from you yet.Any slight changes with your husband?

darsen3935 2009-12-12 12:52:34 -0600 Report

My husband is very supportive and eats what I eat so I am very lucky that way. I was just diagnosed 10-14-09 so I am new to this but have learned very quickly. I cook and bake the way I used to only now diabetically and my husband can't tell the difference from the before and now the after. I use only the very leanest meats, use NuStevia for sugar which is healthy for everyone since it is not a sugar substitute that has fructose, succrolose, aspartame, etc. It does not affect glucose levels at all but it tastes, looks and acts just like real sugar. It is sweeter than sugar so you can use less of it and it is all natural and grown from a plant. So cook and bake and give to your baby and husband just like yourself. Make sugar free puddings and jell-0 that taste the same or better than the sugar type. Use wheat flour items for pasta and breads instead of white flour items for less fat and carbs. Use crushed tomatoes with no salt added instead of sugar added spaghetti sauce. Use unsweetened applesauce instead of oil in cakes and brownie recipes and find them to be moister and yummier without the fat and carbs of oil. Use baby dried fruits in oatmeal and recipes with fruits. You can also use yogurt instead of oil in cake and brownie recipes but I know I have used unsweetened applesauce and gotten great results. I haven't tried the yogurt yet. Just some ideas for you. You can get NuStevia online at and it is cheaper than buying it at the health food stores. The old type just plain Stevia has an awful after taste so make sure you get the NuStevia and I get it from NuNaturals company. Good luck! And make sure you take care of YOU and let your husband know that eating right for you means your life, literally.

Diane A.

Anonymous 2009-12-12 22:24:53 -0600 Report

Where do you buy NuStevia? I've heard of it but never tried cooking or baking with it.

I find the amount of good advice in this short thread to be truly amazing. Thanks so much.

dietcherry 2009-12-12 12:46:27 -0600 Report

The answer is MODERATION. You 2 can enjoy most of the same foods (provided you prepare them the healthiest way possible) as long as you know when to put the fork down. Spices are the workhorses of my kitchen and even a sweet potato with cinnamon and Equal can feel like a decadent dessert! I NEVER eat sugar but with so many sugar-free and nsa products on the market no one need feel deprived. I became Type 1 in 1981 at 13 and the only sugar-free thing then was Tab! I laugh now when I think back to those unenlightened days!

Pam S
Pam S 2009-12-12 13:26:38 -0600 Report

how do you never eat sugar…lol…i'm the worst one here I think…lol…lol…will power..i know..but I'm weak:)

dietcherry 2009-12-12 13:45:05 -0600 Report

As aforementioned, I have been diabetic for 28 years and, although I did rebel as a teenager and eat candy to fit in, I decided in my late teens that my health was more important than a craving for something sweet. By that time, as well, the market was being flooded with diabetic-friendly products and I never looked back! Because I don't eat sucrose, I am able to detect natural sugars in foods such as fruit and, at times, find them sickeningly sweet!

Linda H from Florida
Linda H from Florida 2009-12-12 12:37:32 -0600 Report

Dear ALHanel,

I understand where you are coming from. I am 65 years old, I am a type 2 diabetic 5'1" tall and I weighed 250 pounds. When I developed a pinched nerve in my leg the doctor told me to lose 50 pounds or die a slow painful death soon. I was using 80 units of insulin per day. I finally found a dietitian that made sense to me and I took off 111 pounds.
But, my husband didn't believe that I could stick with it and he became my biggest stumbling block. I refused to give up and told him that if he didn't like what I was cooking he could fix his own meals. He is not a cook.
I created many meat and potato meals that are diabetic healthy.
If your child cannot eat splenda you can make a batch of cookies and freeze the dough to bake 2 or 3 cookies at a time for him in a toaster oven. You may also make treats for yourself that are healthy and safe for you to eat.
My Endocrinologist, Barry Horowitz, asked me to write a book about my experiences to help fellow diabetics. My book is now completed and may be bought from my web site: My book contains my life struggle with weight and weight perceptions. It contains easy to use charts and healthy tasty recipes. I also teach you how to change your favorite recipes into healthy recipes. My book is about life style changes and how to go about it. Remember that you can't give anyone something until you own it yourself. If you don't have self respect you can give respect. If you don't love and care for yourself, you can't love and care for anyone else.
It took me 22 months to take off 111 pounds and I went from a size 22 to a size 6. I have kept the weight off going on 2 years.
My husband now believes in me and I have his support. Just from the way I changed our way of eating my husband also took off 50 pounds.
My Endocrinologist has invited me to help teach diabetic classes, of course I ACCEPTED, I want people to be healthy and not hurt. I no longer take any mediation for diabetes. Please check out my web site. You need the help I have to offer! Once again it is

ptsparkle 2009-12-12 12:58:59 -0600 Report

Took a look at your website. An amazing transformation. Good for you, your hard work and determination paid off. I will probably be purchasing your book, and look forward to some helpful resources. Thanks.

Edie 2009-12-15 15:15:13 -0600 Report

Thankyou I have bookmarked your site and when I get the money to order your book I will before the end of Jan.

CathyJ248 2009-12-12 12:03:20 -0600 Report

you have to look out for yourself. don't let him sabatoge your efforts to make yourself healthy. cook separate meals if you need to but keep yourself on your plan.

Splenda and Equal are not good for children - but you need them for taste. I persaonally use Equal. Put your items in a specailly marked container to keep the baby out of it.

A little work will go a long way to make you healthy and keep the family - well, make them do some of the work.

dietcherry 2009-12-12 12:27:52 -0600 Report


Christine Lincoln
Christine Lincoln 2009-12-12 12:48:19 -0600 Report

To the woman with 2 kitchens: It will be better if you don't say anything to him when you run across his Nutty-Buddies and such. It will just make him try to hide it more. And he won't feel like he can be honest with you.

Anonymous 2009-12-12 22:21:45 -0600 Report

You are right, Christine, there's a fine line between voicing concern and nagging. I have to keep my lips locked a bit more and try to be a partner instead of a warden.

ralprugger 2009-12-12 11:37:37 -0600 Report

I can appreciate Your situation.
To begin, You must come to an agreement with Yourself.
It is Your Family and a Heart driven situation.
To solve Your delimna Make a Mind set decision and accept the Facts.
Your Husband should have his food preferences just as importently as Your child.
There is nothing you can do about these troubling situations, so just do what You can and put it aside. Yes, it will often be complicated, however, as a Loving Mom and wife, you will quickly adapt.
Share the steak and potatoes with Your son including veggies.
For You, make those delicious items you crave separately from your son's/husband and everyone will be satisfied.
To lose weight, do not drasticly cut the quanity of food's you eat. Simply cut back a little here and there. As You adapt and see results that impress Your efforts, cut back a little more.
Just remember to eat and SNACK at the times when Your Blood Sugar drops. Learn to reckonize those drops and take care of them.

Anonymous 2009-12-12 11:13:24 -0600 Report

Reading these posts has been a real eye opener. My husband is the diabetic and I suffer from hypoglycemia. I am able to control my issue with diet and common sense but he is the one who is not complying with a healthy diet. Unfortunately, we have two kitchen, the one downstairs is his and I wish I could bulldoze it.

I take the time to shop, prepare and serve exactly what we need to deal with the diabetes and hypoglycemia. I spend way too much time researching alternatives to what we used to enjoy in order to make him feel he is not losing out on comfort foods and other special dishes. We both know what hits the upstairs kitchen table is both nutritionally sound and diabetic friendly. So, I can pat myself on the back for doing the right thing… or not.

In his car, today, I found a wrapper from a half pound of cheddar cheese stuffed into an empty box of crackers. His freezer holds a half-empty eight-pack of nutty-buddy ice cream treats. He also picked up frozen pierogis (Mrs. T's - a heart attack wrapped in pasta dough) - not one package but four - and pot pies, breads, pumpkin pie and on and on…

Honestly, I feel like the village idiot for putting so much time and energy into making sure we eat right while dining well. The funny thing is, if we go out, he orders broiled seafood or fish and a salad or veggie, it's only at home, in his personal space, that he eats like someone who fears food will disappear and he'll starve.

Meanwhile - it gets worse, hubby gained twelve pounds, brought his glucose level up to 150+, made his triglycerides skyrocket to 220 and his doctor told him that if he doesn't lose weight and eat right, he's going to go from oral meds to insulin next visit. He also offered to schedule a stomach bypass procedure if he doesn't learn how to eat right. (Yes, I know, tacky scare tactic but it was a shot.) Nothing makes a
difference, I'm so frustrated.

So, I guess I'm asking those of you who are not getting support from your family to imagine that you were in my husband's position with a very supportive family. Is there a point where I should just keep my mouth shut and not let his lack of concern (shown by actions) stress me to the point where I want to scream? I won't stop preparing and serving the right things and he does have a great variety to choose from for snacks and general munchies, I just wonder if turning a blind eye to his cheating by eating is what you would want if you were in his position.

So frustrated!


dietcherry 2009-12-12 13:05:26 -0600 Report

Hey Millie! I sympathize with you having to watch someone you love self-destruct! Sounds as if your husband is non-compliant because he no longer feels in control (which a diagnosis of diabetes can do). He clearly knows what is best for him by ordering healthy meals when eating out (and you as a witness) but rebels when alone. I would say he either hasn't accepted his health issues and/or is depressed. His Dr. should suggest he receive counseling for dealing with chronic diseases since he is incapable of/won't face facts. This can help him deal with this very scary but manageable condition. Good luck to both of you!

appleseed 2009-12-12 19:13:38 -0600 Report

This happens with my friends and clients all the time. You know the old saying…you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink. You just continue to do what you are doing, the rest is up to him!

Anonymous 2009-12-12 22:19:17 -0600 Report

To packrat2: Know anyone with a heavy equipment license? ;)

To dietcherry: I wish my husband's doctor had offered a referral to someone who deals with this type of depression. My husband has so much respect for the man, that type of suggestion probably would have flown well with him. I think you hit the nail on the head with your thoughts. A suggestion of counseling would have been more constructive than the threat of bypass surgery. The worst is, it's an idle threat since hubby is not morbidly obese. Thanks so much for responding, it helps to vent and helps even more to learn from other people's experiences.

Edie 2009-12-15 15:08:04 -0600 Report

I think if you ignore him for awhile he might change his ways at home too. They act the way they do just to get us going. Bill was like that till this last March when he found out he is Diabetic.
Now he is watching what he eats real good even out on the Highway Driving Semi. He has his Reg. Pepsi a 12 pk waiting for him at home but I don't think he will be drinking alot of it as he said he went for a week with out one and then it tasted like crap when he did get one. LOL
I have been a Diabetic for over 35 years and have seen alot of no support to bending over back wards to over support me. I cook the way I need to and the heck with others that don't like it.
When the kids were growing up everyone knew I tried new Recipes on Wed. and Sat. each week so they got where I was the only one home on those nites. didn't bother me more left for me another day and the Freezer got full quicker that way too. When I had to work late they had to try my new recipes as nothing else was cooked when supper time came around. I ended up with a regular sheet of paper with the name of what they ate and how they did or didn't like it and why. That helped me to try other new recipes and on different nites with out warning to them. No more disapearing acts on new nights. hahaha

camj 2009-12-12 10:50:24 -0600 Report

Attitude is very important when it comes to people in general, you are not a slave to these people you are a person!! You do what is best for yourself!! When it comes to your husband and others- try to accommodate them-but if they don't like it-oh well that's their problem!! Hang in there it becomes easier as you practice it.

St-Bridget1969 2009-12-12 10:33:18 -0600 Report

Your next visit to the doctor insist that your husband go with you so that your doctor can stress the importance of a healthy diet with diabetes. Let your doctor know in advance of the issues you are having with your husband so that he or she can put the heaviest of stress on the importance of your need to follow a diabetic lifestyle. Yes it is a lifestyle when you are diagonoised with diabetes.

Maybe the doctor can explain to your husband what happens when you don't follow the diabetic options.) ie blindness, loss of limbs, heart attack, and even worse death) I lost my grandfather in 1997 because of diabetes so I keep close eye on my husband's health. I'm sure your husband wants to know you will be around for a long healthy life. I know I don't want to lose my husband to anything. He is my world.

Susie624 2009-12-12 10:24:21 -0600 Report

I have no problem with support, mine seems to be the opposite.the whole family supports me,my problemis they seem to like what I eat better than what I get for them.FOr instance I will by all fruit jam or preserves for me regular for the family, mine will be gone before they will open theirs,I made the diabetic greek salad from the web site recipe that was posted,thought would be enough for two or three days no way gone that night.Daughter-in-law loved it.

donsqueen 2009-12-12 10:23:01 -0600 Report

I have this problem too to some extent. I like to try new recipes, and my husband could eat the same thing for a week. Sometimes I cook 2 meals, sometimes I just modify mine a bit from his. For instance, one of his favorite meals is Velveeta Shells n Cheese with Kielbasa. Very high carb meal and not very healthy. So I measure a serving of the shells n cheese and the kielbasa, and then usually cook a vegetable for myself or have some sliced tomato with it. Same thing with hamburger helper which he also loves. With the hamburger helper I can saute some mushrooms and onions to add to mine, and again, cook some vegetables or slice up some raw veggies to have with it. Sometimes I fry my meat, but I use olive oil instead of butter or regular oil. If I'm making a recipe I know he won't like, I'll cook him something different or just cook his meat and vegetables normal and make my recipe. For my expanded waistline, I found this great free site, I've lost 4 pounds in two weeks. I recommend this site to anyone who wants to eat and live healthier.

SuzyAttendorn 2009-12-09 13:17:44 -0600 Report

boy you have made me appreciate my husband even more than I already did! He is so supportive.
I don't have any words of wisdom, but don't let him sabotage the hard work you are doing for yourself. You are your first priority! Good luck!

Antique-Dave 2009-12-09 12:51:04 -0600 Report

There are times that we are eating differently but overall not that many. I made an italian sausage dish the other night, had tomatoes, peppers, cheese, mushrooms, zuchinni, etc over whole wheat penne, my portion of pasta was small so I could have a small peice of garlic toast. My dish had more of the topping and I had a side salad.

more toppings. more salad, less carbs then the rest of the family but we ate the same meal. It takes some planning, portion control, carb counting, sometimes a little tweaking of the recipe but it can be done.

Nothing wrong with steak for a diabetic, although I'd be bored having red meat every night, It would be nice if he was willing to experiment with some other dishes.

We have our favorites but we are always experimenting with new recipes, now we are experimenting with cutting down the carbs out of the recipes and for many dishes no one can tell the difference.

When I'm cooking though, the choice is eat what I put on the table or cook your own. When I look at food, I see carbs, I don't consider something to be "diabetic" or regular food, its just carbs and I have a choice as to whether or not I want to put it in my mouth.

I think its important to be flexible and willing to make trade offs, and if you can do that and maintain control then something is working.

appleseed 2009-12-09 12:57:28 -0600 Report

I have been providing people with a Low Glycemic Recipe of the week for some time now. You might consider these as a way to give him what he wants while meeting your needs as well. Let me know how I can help!!

rankearl 2009-12-09 09:41:36 -0600 Report

we all have chioces im proud of you kep making healthy choices it pays off in the long run im not prefect i just have a taste if i fall off the wagon lol hug julie

BIRDY 2009-12-09 00:30:28 -0600 Report

some tips for you :
* baking : for example for a cake you can go with the regular recipe by adding no Splenda no sugar.At the last stage split the dough into two.Add sugar into one of them for your husband and child.And add Splenda into the second half for you.In this case you will need to use smaller trays and it means that you can put both trays in to the oven at the same time.So no need any extra time for cooking.I hope this helps you a bit.
* for your healthy meals you can cook more than you need and keep the rest as the small portions in the fridge.Or you can do this for your husband's meals.
For pasta , use the same sauce but boil your and his pasta seperately.(for you a whole wheat pasta , for him whatever he likes)
By the way , if he goes with this meat+potato meal for some time more , he will be eating the same foods with you soon :)

ptsparkle 2009-12-09 10:21:26 -0600 Report

Good tips Birfy. It is tough when our family members don't want to support us. It means some extra work for us, but maybe someday they will open their eyes and be more supportive. Don't give in on your food choices, you come first to you! Good luck, and hang in there,

BIRDY 2009-12-09 16:19:24 -0600 Report

Jim , maybe the families need to attend a diabetic class but not the diabetics …How you think?

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-09 13:52:50 -0600 Report

You have such a sparkly, positive personality, Birdy!! I love to read your sensible and humorous posts!! That is what I am starting to do, divide out my own share, haven't tackled the baking yet. What ratio do you use when substituting Splenda for sugar? I want to cook some cranberries for a luncheon tomorrow, and not sure how to approach it. I could dish out my portion, then add the regular sugar, I guess. Any ideas? Pat R

BIRDY 2009-12-09 16:02:25 -0600 Report

Pat my dear , you made my day , thank yuuuuu:)
I also love to read your post , they are always full of fun.
Well , I'm new on this Splenda.What I'm doing is adding the Splenda step by step by tasting after each table spoon.What I noticed is taste of Splenda goes away after the dessert gets cold.So , if you like real sweet things I can suggest to add some extra Splenda. Yes I do in that way , first I dish out the diabetic part and add the sugar to the left part.And as the last thing I add the Splenda to the diabetic part.
Hugs hugs:)

zdoddroe 2009-12-12 12:55:10 -0600 Report

Cooking with Splenda, I went to a cooking class and she cooked with Splenda but always added a little sugar. I am guessing, about 1 to 4. example 3
tablesppon of Splenda and 1 tablespoon of sugar. She had prepared all kinds of food from main course to dessert and it was good.

Edie 2009-12-15 14:52:13 -0600 Report

Splenda is cup for cup the same as for sugar. And I only bake one way now and if he don't eat what I fix he can fix his own. It has been that way for over 25 years now. I will not cook as if I run a Resturant not for any one. 2009-12-17 15:50:01 -0600 Report

My husband went to the diabetic education classes with me and has always supported me. I cook the same for the two of us. As for Splenda - I use that in everything - but I only use 1/2 of what any recipe calls for as I think it is sweeter than regular sugar. If you don't tell anyone that's what you use, they won't know the difference.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-17 19:05:24 -0600 Report

I think that is what I am deciding in trying to locate a candy recipe—-I know that the Crystal Light is too sweet for me, make it half as much.

I may bake one thing for my husband, and just wrap something, like a sweet potato, in foil, and make several and frig them till later, saves on oven heat—-I do that with a lot of things, pop in a bowl of green beans microwave—, take out mine, then put oleo in his, or not—he doctors it up to suit himself anyway. As bad as I hate to cook, I find no problem in taking out my share, before adding more STUFF to his—-it is the actual prep time ,cooking time that I dislike. Hope this helps. Pat R

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-08 23:50:37 -0600 Report

My husband watches what I EAT!! And criticizes, not sure that affects me in a positive way, but try to cook with no sugar, let him add it, much like salt. I haven't been cooking much, but did bake a pot pie for him for lunch and stuck in a sweet potato for me, he hates baked potatoes, then used 2 Tbls cottage cheese, he can take it or leave it—-but with the pot pie he had about all he needed. If I bake cookies, his favorite desert, I just eat one or two, he eats the rest in a day or two.

Sometimes I open a can of veggies, cook his one way, and just heat mine plain in the microwave. When I fry meat, yes I still fry—-I eat just a very small piece as my GERD usually kicks in if I try to eat too much meat—-even if I take my 2 Priolosec a day. I put 5 green olives and a tad of onion in the cot. cheese too, and was satisfied. My BS after that noon meal was only 95! That almost has me worried,——so low with no meds, not usual until here lately , for me—-but still feel the need to check as my PIECING in the afternoon can send it up to 180 so that proves to me that if I STICK to a well balanced diet and my feeble exercise attempts, I might not need meds anymore! hmmm—PR

Dreamer84 2009-12-09 16:49:55 -0600 Report

I am the same way, i have a hard time staying on track because its too much work cooking for me then my other family members also because they dont like the nasty crap i can eat. but when i pick something up my husband gets mad because im eating it but he approcehs the situation in a bad way that it makes me mad and feel bad about myself.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-12-09 18:13:16 -0600 Report

Boy, THEY sure can do that, can't they??!! Jealousy is so ——-crappy=—-or whatever, it can curdle relationships, but one must KNOW yourself, and hold yourself in better esteem, and try to ignore their sulking! Might put a pretty flower on your table so you can concentrate on something nice, instead of the blistering from others! Love, and hugs, Pat R

PapaRon 2009-12-12 13:38:58 -0600 Report

For the life of me I can't understand why there must be a feud over one person HAVING to eat differently than the others. I mean…as long as the 'others' are still being able to eat as 'they choose' for themselves. Guess I'd just be telling somebody to…"BITE ME"!!!!…or…start doing for yourself if you can't appreciate what for 'me' is, necessary for my own health and well-being.

Hinboyz3 2009-12-08 21:23:33 -0600 Report

My hubby s the same way every morning I get up and make my regular old oatmeal, and then he gets up and has bacon, grits, cheese eggs, hashbrowns, etc. Now is that really healthy. I've tried but got to look out for myself, he's not willing to look out for himself. When it comes to baking I bake for me one way, and then for my hubby and the boys another way (the regular receipt). It works out just fine, actually my boys are teens, they eat up my special foods. LOL!!

thegilty 2009-12-08 21:30:28 -0600 Report

Ask him to let you take out a very high life insurance policy on him, maybe that will open his eyes a bit.

Hinboyz3 2009-12-08 21:46:53 -0600 Report

It's crazy, but sometimes I think a person has to hit bottom before they can even begin to as for help. Me all it took was to find out Im type 2, I made changes instantly.

Pam S
Pam S 2009-12-12 13:28:12 -0600 Report

if my husband chooses not to watch out for himself…he will have a big problem later on. He knows I have to watch my food intake and NEVER ever discourages me…we do have several different types of food for everyone in my house. Plus I love bacon too…:) its my favorite:)

Edie 2009-12-15 14:38:43 -0600 Report

When I was working for Marburger Foods I was told that after a while I would stop eatting Bacon, that was back in 1998 and I am still eatting it. LOL I worked with bacon products 8 or more hours a day 5-7 days a week for just over 3 years. I love my bacon too and I had a case that still has 2 large packages left from it 6 months ago. Pre cooked so all I do is microwave it.

Iroquois 2009-12-27 19:32:32 -0600 Report

Eddie, i like bacon too and when became SDA we couldn't have bacon anymore but I like and it tastes like bacon is MORNING STAR striples (bacon) But only that brand. You fry it in low calorie Pam and crispy. It is really good. Even if it is vegetarian. Hope this may help.

Edie 2009-12-30 08:36:09 -0600 Report

Thank you for the info as the person I had getting it for me from where I use to work no longer works there so now I am using it very sparingly and not sharing it very well either with others. LOL I have to get me some more zip lock bags to repack the packages I have then I can put back in the freezer and use it slowly so that it lasts. When I can find someone else to get it for me I will start sharing it again.
I is precooked before I get it and it lasts a long time with just me eating it. But I will try Morning Star Stripes and see if I like it also if so then I can just buy it and share the other with the kids and friends.
EDIE not Eddie. Thank you!

PapaRon 2009-12-12 13:31:33 -0600 Report

LOL, well…I'm not all that supportive nor enthusiastic about my own diabetic/heart healthy diets I'm supposed to be following, and my wife and I live with our daughter and her family, who of course won't and don't eat the way 'I' must. So…where does that leave us? Simple! I cook separate and for myself when it's necessary. Or, my wife cooks for me. But yes, much of the time there must be two separate meals done. The bad part in your case is, that it's 'you' that must do 'both' meals rather than in my situation where I will do for myself rather than 'expect' anyone else to. Actually, 'I do' sometimes prepare 'both' separate meals for everyone as long as I'm at the stove. I guess I don't find it all that big a bother. My own foods really aren't all that time consuming nor complicated. It doesn't take much to cook "BLAH", lolol.

Pam S
Pam S 2009-12-15 04:21:20 -0600 Report

i also do 2 meals if I am the one cooking. And yes most of the time I prepare my own food…use lots of seasoning/spices to get rid of that blah…lol…

Shaggy 2009-12-12 13:41:37 -0600 Report

Have your husband take you to see a diabetic nutritionist and let the nutritionist know ahead he is coming so the food instruction can be more geared to what he eats than what you eat. Let him see in a jar the amount of fat he eats each week. Unfortunately my wife could not care less about my dietetic needs. It is all about her and what she wants. Always has been and always will be! She is 5'2" and weighs about 300 lbs.

Shaggy 2009-12-12 13:47:48 -0600 Report

One more thing I thought of: My mom bought me a Dani Food Steamer. When you steam potatos with the peeling on, carrots, broccoli and other vegatables, the difference over boiling is unreal. You don't need salt or pepper on a steamed potato, and the carrots come out tasting naturally sweet and the brocccoli is much better. Try this experiment: measure your blood sugar and eat a baked or steamed potatoe. Retest your glucose about two hours later. Your reading should be higher than normal. Steam or bake a second potato potato. Let it cool, then wrap and refrigerate it over night. The next day at lunch, warm the potato. Measure your glucose, eat the potato and then measure your glucose two hours later. The potato refrigerated overnight should not affect your blood sugar like the freshly baked/steamed potato did.