Christmas is coming so hints and tips of how others survived Thanksgiving, might be of help to us.
With some, it was the food question and families' reactions to our needs or the emotional element: if you do this or this, the family will get along perfectly, just like on TV!
NOT!! guess I am finally facing reality that good coping skills are essential in this life and especially through the holiday season! For me, it is coming out of a deep depression, trying to fit into a NORMAL conversation without the kids trying to fault every word into meaning something I didn't have in my mind at all!! I had that same old, feeling of guilt—I am the mom and should be able to handle this family, MAKE them happy and sweet to all, including the three fussy 2 yrs olds! hahaha—
My daughter-in-law is a diabetic too, newly discovered but has the strength of character (I don't, so had to watch that guilt thing in myself—-) She sounded a bit impatient with me as she led me thru some of her own food decisions. I don't know if she ate or not, we were scattered around the house, but she was pleased to tell me that she had lost 23 #, was a slow process, but do/able—-HMMM___sigh——
So, sinking into the old familiar pain of hurt and guilt, I worked my way UP, again!! Armed with my newly found coping skills, I checked my own life and diabetis story, against hers, we are NOT alike!! Everyone is different, she had a healtheir up bringing, although I am sure that it wasn't perfect, but she seems to have been born with a natural fighting/ positive instinct, where I have to WORK on mine!
So?? Doesn't that make me as good as her or anyone else? Could she, or anyone else, gone thru what I have, with my personality and "made it"?! I doubt it—-really—-no one knows us, but us, so accept yourself as you are, your financial circumstances, grade of diabetis (I call it—) I can still eat some without trouble, I checked my BS and it did NOT go over 135, a FIRST in years after eating a piece of yummy cake. I am lucky to not have to take my diabietic med every day—-just when it gets up to 170 or so—-that is just the way I AM, right now!
So, don't fret if others don't understand us as it is hard for us to understand and accept ourselves too—-
Did anyone take their own low carb dish? I didn't but I got by, ate no bread (it was already gone—hah—sigh—) ate meat, dab of potatoes with a yummy fixings salads, moderate amt as they had a dressing of sorts, on them—-was satisfied!
After I got home I thought more on the awkward feelings between my children and I. It was not all of them—-they are individuals, Pat, but the oldest girl is coming around and can talk to me naturally——not NUTS—-the oldest boy is very tactful and kind, leaving the youngest girl, so one out of 3 isn't too bad! Karen threw her tail over her back—-but that is Karen—she cares for others in a nursing home very kindly!! But ME??!! I tried to hug her and say I loved her, but she pulled away, said "leave me alone!" So, I did—sadly—
Then I thought some more, maybe the kids are still a little cautious with me, rather like my wild alley kitties, scared, afraid that they will be hurt, take it easy, feed them, set in a chair at a little distance, say nothing until they get used to you—they start speaking softly, slowly——till they get used to you, then you can gradually lean over and stroke them here and there, now I can hold them in my lap and stroke them as I have now earned their trust.
So, it must be with our children and other family members, even thogh we have been thru an emotional He—, we still must prove that we can still love and be trusted, and hopefull, "they will come"!
And my BS stayed under 135 with no Glipizide—!!! Yeah—another good point!!
Hugs, Pat Roth
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