Feeling Sad...Christmas

By Turtle Latest Reply 2009-11-29 22:27:44 -0600
Started 2009-11-27 20:46:10 -0600

I had plans and a train ticket to go see my mom for a week at Christmas time. I got a letter from her today saying she does not want me to come cuz she does not feel up to it.

I figured she would not have time for me after she moved my older brother near her. She helps him constantly and has no time for me. Some things never change.


18 replies

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-11-29 00:37:49 -0600 Report

Turtle, we just came back from our own family dinner, we have 4 kids, they make over their dad, leaving me setting and yearning for that comfortable hug and kisses that they shower on him, they have no idea how he has treated me behing closed doors, put me down constantly no matter how hard I have tried for over 59 years!!

It was a tense day, but I kept smiling and taking pics quietly, trying to say the right words to draw out some NATURAL converstation, but it is tough when no one else seems to be helping, the one daughter is so jealous of her older sister, so Susan just came in, charged over to her and gave her a big hug. When we got there, I am slower and older, and didn't think of going to HER, she was in a comfy armchair, but she went to her dad—-my heart bled!! AGAIN!!

I have tried so hard for over 40 years to get thru to them, but they use my emotional illness against me, won't meet me half way, or that is the way it seems——I have tried to stay POSITIVE, SMILE, tho your heart is breaking—-family can hurt you like no other—-

I hurt so badly right now I can hardly see, so am going to bed, try to sleep it off then do something outside and positive, feed my alley kitties, they come to me now, as they know that I feed them!! I fed my kids too, well———BUT the human factor enters again!!

I can't think of anything else that might help you this eve—-just hope and pray that tomorrow will find us both feeling better, but I WILL NOT let my independent, yet unstable kids—-no, that is me—no—-I don't know—-too tired! Good night!! PR

Turtle 2009-11-29 19:28:38 -0600 Report

PAT R. - I hope this reaches you feeling better. In all the talking we have done, I do not think you ever told me all you did here. Thank you for sharing with me. I will hold it dear and place it before God and ask him to heal you and send you solace.

I am so sorry you went thru this. I do know how painful it can be.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-11-29 19:35:07 -0600 Report

Amen!!! I so hope to HELP and not HURT others!! Sometines one just has to grit their teeth to get thru each painful part of our past, but each time seems to ease it—-as I try to see that the situation is NOT all my fault!! That seems to help—-just takes time—-I sometimes feel like I am running out of time—-but I seem to just keep kicking, want to try and help as many others as I can, before I die—-whatever the problem!! That is the only thing that helps me to bear this EMOTIONAL PAIN>>Diverticulitis was rough, but doesn't hold a candle to EP—-love you and thankful that I can help!! Hugs, Pat R

BIRDY 2009-11-28 12:09:05 -0600 Report

do you really think that you need someone else ? I've never believed that.We are always lonely in this life and each person have to take care of himself.If any help from someone else , welcome of course.But we must know to stand on our feets.Life is a long-term challenge and we are the fighters.If we decide to give up challenging it means we accept losing.
Never give up Turtle , otherwise life gives you up.

SusanJ 2009-11-28 09:48:42 -0600 Report

I am very sorry for what you are going through. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Just know that we are here when ever you need us.

SkipT 2009-11-28 09:34:37 -0600 Report

The old expression goes: You can pick your friends, but you can't pick you family. Find someone you are comfortable with for the holidays, and realize that we are stuck with the luck of the draw as far as family goes. I have relatives that I would never choose for friends; we just happen to be related.

Merry Christmas

Susie624 2009-11-28 09:09:48 -0600 Report

I know just how you feel.Only my situation is a little different. Mine is my kids the jealousy, If I show alittle attention to one the others feel like that one is my favorite,but far from the truth they are all my favorites some are justable to help themselves better than others. And Im not talking youngsters I am talking about ranges from 27 up to 42. Then I have a 42 year old that is so independent that so wont take from anyone and is always helping the rest out.

Turtle 2009-11-28 07:19:00 -0600 Report

Thank you for your support. I do not have the money to buy turkeys to help others and I am sorry but that does not help the pain I am feeling right now either. I feel like I have lost myself and my mom. It is difficult to describe. I just wish I could crawl into my shell and not come out. The pain is too much.


Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-11-29 00:29:24 -0600 Report

I know that you don't have money to buy turkeys, I just meant that in your own way, make a card for someone else and see their pleasure, usually rubs off onto us——

But that emotional pain—is—-too painful, and I know that no one else can really understand it, nor help much—-sometimes I just curl up with a soft blanket and sleep, usually feel a tad better later—but you must do something to help yourself ease out of that pain, or it will eat you alive, then I wouldn't have sucha dear friend to talk to!! LOVE AND WARM HUGS< PATR

Hinboyz3 2009-11-28 07:08:22 -0600 Report

Hi, don't you worrie about it, things will get better for you soon. Your mom must be going thru something, you can't understand it now but it will soon come to the lght. You still have all of us here on the site we love you and care for you too. Lean on us and we will work thru it together.

ONeil 2009-11-28 05:18:34 -0600 Report

I understand what you going though , do to my Mother just dis owne me , and I have lost my sep-mom last year, and mother -in-law 4 years , but when your own mother tells you that and care for you ather brothers,& sister that is bad. well just think that we are all here and we will be there for you. love you.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-11-28 01:32:23 -0600 Report

I liked Penny's reply, Robbin! My family has not been there for me either, not like I had always dreamed——-so I am volunterring to help a group buy turkeys and canned goods for 10 needy families here in town. It always makes me feel better , helping others, than waiting around for a phone that never rings!! Maybe you could make a special card for your favorite nurse!!! Warm hugs, PR

Kira_xo 2009-11-28 00:23:06 -0600 Report

I'm soo sorry hun! Maybe she will have a change of heart come closer to Christmas time? *hugs*

sisson 2009-11-27 21:51:48 -0600 Report

Hi Robbin
I'm sorry that your Christmas plans are being change for you. In away I've been there growing up with my little sister. But maybe now you can invite someone specail and do something specail for Christmas do something you've never done before. Take care Penny

Harlen 2009-11-27 21:40:38 -0600 Report

Isnt that the trueth I have been there
I am so sorry your going thrue thid hon
You still need to live your life cash that thing in and go and have fun do something you like to do
I can think of all tyos of fun things to go do lol
Hugs for you hon

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-11-27 21:38:35 -0600 Report

I am so sorry!!! Mothers neglecting any child is beyond me!! But I have witnessed it—so sad——One shy child of 5 kids, was always putting her down by her own mother, for whatever reason—-Then when her real father died, the real mother refused to allow her to set with her brothers and sisters at his funeral!!!! Man—-I am glad that that mother had moved to another area as I don't know if I could bring myself to speak to her!!! Some things I can forgive, goodness knows I have made my own mistakes!! But that one, a deliberate, hateful thing to her own shy daughter—-just blows my mind!

So, know that you are not alone, Robbin, just pray for HER as she must really need it!! To A DEAR SWEETie, my FRIEND!! Pat R