Would like to hear more feed back from type I diabetics

Sue Turner
By Sue Turner Latest Reply 2012-10-12 09:59:15 -0500
Started 2009-11-06 10:07:28 -0600

Hi all, I am having a really hard time lately. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster. I don't know if it is the depression caused by all the highs and lows that I have been having with my bs lately. I am just having one of those down days today. I feel like a lost person who doesn't know which way to turn. I don't know if it is because I am type I and on insulin that is affecting me or something else. Just looking for some positive feed back. I know diabetes is diabetes no mater the type, but I would like to hear from more people with type I so that I have something to compare with. Just not feeling well, emotionally or physically, and my family just doesn't seem to understand. My daughters think that I should feel perfectly fine, and that I am just feeling sorry for myself,and am letting this disease control me. They think that I should be in a better frame of mind,(wish that I were) and that I am not doing enough to control my problem, but that is not the case. I am doing the best I know how. I also know that this thing with my ex-husband is not helping the matter. It will soon be six years that I have been married to my new husband, but I am still having a lot of problems letting go of the past. I wake up in mornings at times, and there will be an unpleasant memory that will pop into my head, then it just starts to go down hill from there. Don't know what to do. Help!! Sue

89 replies

jamartell 2010-07-19 10:53:01 -0500 Report

I understand what you are going through.. I have been a type 1 since June 30, 1966 and have had radical blood sugars all my life.. Even my closest friends and family could not understand the emotional roll a coster I was on.. I went through many ant-depressants untill finally I got on one that stabilezed my mood shifts.. It has changed my whole outlook.. After over 40 years of lilveing with this life altering disease I hope it helps you ..

SeansMom 2009-12-07 12:01:47 -0600 Report

Sue, I do understand how you must be feeling. I see my 20 y.o. son flip flop all the time. It got to the point that we had to see a specialist. Currently he is on prozac and I see a much happier person. I don't want to promote any medication but I would say that it would help if you found someone to talk to. The first therapist that my son went to was Type 1 and also had a son his age. The first thing she said to him was that diabetes sucks. That won him over to open up to her. For him the meds are great but sometimes just talking to a therapist, especially if you can find one with diabetes and around my part of the woods that is not hard to do.
These blogs are great also. No one understands you or how you feel except people who are experiencing the same thing. We have found many children in the same boat as my son and have turned to therapy. Maybe reaching out to JDRF or ADA may help. Getting involved with one of the diabetic organizations let you know that you are not alone in this and that you are helping to find the cure. Even though I am not diabetic, it has helped me handle my son and everyone that I meet at the local chapter know how I feel and they are my diabetic family!

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-07 12:52:39 -0600 Report

Hi Seansmom,

Thank you for your good advice. I see two therapists. One that I see has a husband who is type 1 diabetic and has been for 30 some yrs. She is wonderful. I really love this lady. She speacilizes in family therapy, and she has helped me a great deal. I have been seeing her for about 3 yrs., and I just want give her up. I always feel so much better after I talk with her. The other one that I see is a Dr., and I really don't care for him that much, but he is in control of my meds. I am not on any anti-depresents, but I do take an anti-anxiety medication, of which my medcial Dr. Rx'd to begin with, but I don't see him any more, since he misdiagonsed me, and nearly let me die, and none of my other physicians will Rx the anti-anxiety med. for me, which I feel is rediculous. It is also rediculous that I have to pay to see a therapist, who, by-the-way, is not a participating provider for my medical insurance, and I have to pay him out of pocket. That is just the way it is, I guess. And we can't do a whole lot about it. How long has your son had diabetes???? Again thank you for your great advice. Let's keep intouch, and let me know how your son is doing. Your friend, Sue T.

SeansMom 2009-12-07 15:09:20 -0600 Report

Thanks Sue for your reply. I guess the thing that help me the most if being involved with the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF). Since Sean is at the age where he does not listen and "Nothing can happen to me" part of his life, we just go with the flow. I just try not to bug him right now, otherwise he become too quiet and retreats to his room. I wish you the best of luck with the doctor search. You really need a good endo to help you so maybe when you get in control you depression may be better. It does sadden me to hear that your family is not supporting. It seems to me that they need some education. Have them go to a JDRF or ADA event with you then they will see how hard it is especially when it comes to the little children out there dealing with this. It is hard to change your ways when you are an adult. I just feel bad for kids like my son who were diagnosed very young. There is no escape or vacation from this disease. There is no rhyme or reason to how your b/s will be since so much effects it: mood, anger, happiness, excercise, food and on and on and on…

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-07 15:59:08 -0600 Report

Hi again, Seansmom,

May I ask the age of your son? Is his bs under pretty good control? I do have a good endocrinologis, and I am on the pump. I just got the results of my last blood work, and everything was great. I was shocked because I have had a lot of highs and lows lately. But my A1c was 6.5, which is the lowest it has been since being diagnosed. I guess the pump is working, huh!! Everything else was all within normal range. Like I said, I was in shock. I thought that it would terrible. My heart goes out to you having a child with diabetes. I know you must be very scared yourself for him; I know that I would be. I would really like to get involved with the ADA or the JDRF, but I think that I need to educate myself more before I can become an advocate for diabetes. I don't understand my girls, they just act like it is nothing. So, I just leave them alone and try and take care of myself as best I can. They don't seem to realize that they are now at risk as well. My youngest does suffer from hypoglycemia, and I was diagnosed with that in my late 20s or early 30s. I knew at that time it could eventually go the other way, and guess what?????? IT DID!!! Then my oldest daughter has a thyroid condition, and that makes her even more susceptible to becoming diabetic. Oh well, I guess they will just have to live and learn like the rest of us. Bless you, and you take care, your friend, Sue T.

SeansMom 2009-12-08 13:34:21 -0600 Report

Sue, My son is 20 y.o. and had diabetes since he was 5. It does not run in our family so it was a total surprise. My parents just don't understand how this all works and I need to correct them all the time. They think that if he would just stop eating sugar he would be fine. May things have changed in the past 15 years ie: insuling, thiness of the needles and the pump. Sean cannot use the pump because he is allergice to adhesive. We have tried everything they told us to try but he says that it feels like it is an itchy/hurting feeling at the site. We did try the continious golcouse monitor but again that did not work. they say to change the site every 5 days and he lasted about 36 hours then the area was red for 24 hours after he removed it. It was such a good idea to have and I have heard wonerful things from people who are using it. Just stinks that he has this severe allergy. The endo recommended that we get a diabetic therapy dog, reason being is that he gets his OCD going during the night and is afraid that he will have a low so he gets up and checks his b/s then 10 mins later checks again and so on. So he hardly sleeps at night. But he does not like dogs and refuses to even think along those lines. I will do anything I can to help him be in better control. He is just an immature kid putting up all kind of fences. He can't control getting shots and diabetes but he can control what goes into his mouth and how he can say no to all options available to him.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-08 14:05:16 -0600 Report

Boy, I don't know what to tell you. Sounds like you have a real delimma on your hands. I certainly hope your son comes around soon with a different way of thinking. Don't want him to get into any trouble with this disease. I wish he was not allergic to the tape on the infusion sets so that he could use a pump, that would be so much better for him. But, you know, I really didn't mind the shots; I have had to give myself shots for one reason or other for years so that didn't bother me, but the pump has really made a difference in my A1C level. Because it does most of the figuring for me. And, I only have to change the infustion site every 3 days, so I'm not having to do injections 3,4, or more times daily. But, he being a young man,"male" I know how they are about needles and that sort of thing. I have been in the medical field for nearly 40 yrs. and I know how hard it is to deal with the male. No offense intended, I hope you know that. I just know that males seem to react to those sorts of things differently than females do. LOL… He really needs his sleep, that is very important for diabetics. I have never heard of the dog thing. What is that? Yes, you are right he can control what goes into his mouth, but, will he? I know it has to be hard for kids with diabetes. It is hard for me to deal with at my age. I hate it, but there is nothing I can do to change anything. Sweetheart, I wish you well, and my heart goes out to you. But you know they keep comming up with new things all the time. I just keep hoping and praying that things will get easier for all of us who suffer with this dreaded disease. I was in shock when I was diagnosed too, because it didn't run in my family either. As a matter-of-fact, I am still in shock. And, believe me, I have my days of not dealing well. Today has been one of those days. It's like being on an emotional roller coaster. I wish there was something I could say or do to make things easier for you. Just know that I am here for you, and if you want to vent to me, heh, I'm here to listen. Believe me, I have done a lot of it, and still do. Keep me posted on your son and how he is doing. And, if you need to talk, contact me on the message board. Hang in there, and I will keep you and your son in my prayers. Your friend, Sue T.

SeansMom 2009-12-09 13:17:49 -0600 Report

Sue, thanks for the kind words and understanding. Anyway, go to www.dogs4diabetic.com. They are therapy dogs that sense you low blood sugars. Not cheap but may be a good investment if the child/person likes dogs.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-09 13:33:42 -0600 Report

That is amazing!! I have never heard of this before. I will check out the web site. Thank you for the info. Your friend, Sue T.

elaines 2009-12-25 14:19:11 -0600 Report

Hi SueT and seansMom. I hope your son will take care of himself, I was diagnosed at 19 and now 41
and have all kinds of problems. Would he join this site and talk to strangers? I hope he realizes how serious this can be. I haven't been on in a while because I had an eye bleed due to my retinopathy and couldn't see. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday. Merry Christmas!

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-25 18:20:04 -0600 Report

Hi elaine, sweetie, so glad to see you back on the site. I am so sorry to hear about the problem you have been having with your eye. I hope you are having a good Christmas. Hope Santa was good to you. Getting ready to go out of town for a few days on business. You take good care of yourself, and I will check in with you when I get back home to see how you are doing. Hugs, ;0) Sue

elaines 2010-01-08 01:11:20 -0600 Report

Hi Sue,
Again I have been gone a while because I was in the hospital for a blood clot. My eye is better and my vision is back to where it was before the bleed. I hope your trip went well and you had a mice holiday. Santa was good to me as usual. Spent Christmas with boyfriend and family. Right now we are overloaded with snow, where was it on Christmas. It was 2 or 3 days late. I hope all is well and you have a wonderful 2010. Take care.
Your friend,

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2010-02-27 12:51:14 -0600 Report

Hi Elaine,
This is the first I have seen of this reply…There is just so much going on on here, that I can't seem to keep up with it all…Sorry to hear that you were in the hospital…But glad that your eye is better…I just saw my Ophthalmologist last week; he said that my eyes were better now than they were the first time he examined me, but that was just shortly after I was diagnosed with the diabetes. I guess my BS is in much better control now…But, I still have my problems with all the highs and lows…Glad you had a good Christmas…Ours was ok…It's hard now with the family scattered hither and yon…LOL. My HUSBAND was in the hospital this past week for several days…They ran every test they could think of to try and find his problem…He is doing better, still not there yet, but he is not is so much pain…Send me a note, and let me know how you are doing… Hugs, Sue

Patt2 2009-12-05 18:07:34 -0600 Report

Yes, I would like to learn more about type 1 Diabetes.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-07 08:48:58 -0600 Report

Hi Patt2,

If you are like me, I was just recently diagnosed with type 1, and I am trying to educate myself and learn as much as I possibly can about this dreaded disease!

dancer89027 2009-12-05 02:12:09 -0600 Report

I have been diabetic for 52 years.I am a young 62.Somedays I'm sick of the diabeties but it's better than stage 3 or 4 cancer.So keep your head up and try and thinking only posiive thoughts like thank God I,m alive walking and talking.You also have a plus I'm a widow.If depression is a problem talk to your dr. there is a cure when I went to Mayo clinic 5 yrs. ago all the women were on antidepressants and I found out that was normal.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-05 16:36:40 -0600 Report

Hi dancer89027,

I like your attitude!!! I am a young 62 year old as well. You are right, at least this is something that can be controlled. And, yes, I admit, I 'HATE' the disease, but it isn't cancer. My husband just went through that, and he was stage 4-D. I was terrified, that is when I started having problems with depression and anxiety. I'm glad to know that I am normal, and not just crazy! LOL. I am trying to think those positive thoughts, and I do thank God that I am as healthy as I am. And, I thank God, that my husband is now cancer free and has been for the past 4 years. I really admire you; you have been dealing with this for a long time. Your friend, Sue T.

Cmpangel 2009-12-03 21:12:57 -0600 Report

Wow, I do not know why I haven't spent more time on this site before. I am learning so much! I am type 1 and 36 yrs old. Always been thin so eating what I wanted when I wanted and not have an exercise routine really screwed up my health. Before my diagnosis I drank mountain dew 24/7. I was diagnosed in 2005 and struggle literally daily. I take humalog insulin pen and most of the time my bs are out of control. On Nov. 20 I was admitted to ICU for diabetic ketoacidtosis. I had no idea! I went to the ER because i thought I had the flu, next thing I know they are telling me this could put me in a coma or worse I could die. What a wake up call. I raise 6 children 4 of them are teenagers. (ugh) so it never seems I have enough time to worry about my health. Anyway, my highs and lows are constant even when i'm actually trying to eat well. I'll definitely check back for any advice and now i am going back to read more of the comments to get encouragement and ideas to help me take this seriously!

elaines 2009-12-04 01:20:25 -0600 Report

I also did the whole ER thing several times. Once I almost died. I have been diabetic 22 years and suffer from just about every complication there is because of out of control sugars. I am 41 and don't want anyone to live each day like I do. I want to help in any way I can so please feel free to ask or send me a message. Take care of yourself so you can enjoy your children and maybe grandchildren some day. Take care. Elaine

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-05 16:59:30 -0600 Report

Hi Cmpangle,

I am glad that you are ok. Please take good care of yourself. When I was first diagnosed, I ended up in the ER in full blown ketoacidosis, with a BS reading that was off the charts; we really don't know what it was. I could have died also, or gone into a coma, or both! You have all of those childrend depending on you. It has to be hard on you, but you have got to think of yourself, and take care of yourself. I think maybe it would be a good idea for the children to be educated as much as possible of the seriousness of this disease. You take care of yourself, and I will talk to you again soon. Keep me posted. Hugs to you, Sue T.

SeansMom 2009-12-07 12:06:51 -0600 Report

Very interesting that you talk about the children being educated. I volunteer at my local JDRF chapter and I am chair of the Kids Walk Program. We go into the schools to educate the children then we do a fund raising walk in the school. Last year was our first year doing this and we raised over $50,000.00. This year we are trying to grow the program. We are hoping that this will help the children and the teachers learn how serious this disease truly is. We are spreading the word here in South Jersey.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-09 18:20:55 -0600 Report

Wow, seansmom, that is wonderful. $50,000.00. I don't know if I responded to this post yet or not, if I already have, forgive me. Sometimes, I get so excited and over zealous when I read something that I forget, and might respond to something two or three times before I realize it. LOL…

elaines 2009-11-28 19:44:58 -0600 Report

Hi Sue
I just read your post and I am also a type 1 for 22 years. I would like to help in any way I can, I have been through it all with this disease and have a lot to offer. I like to think I was given all this so I could help others not suffer. It would make all this worth it. So feel free to ask me anything and I will do my best. Keep fighting!

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-30 15:39:18 -0600 Report

Hi elaines. 22 years, wow! That's a long time dealing with this disease. I hope you are doing well. How did you do Thanksgiving? As for me, I didn't do too well. My bs has been mostly in the 300s. This morning when I checked it, it was 355. I have been working on it all day trying to get it back down. You are so sweet. I would love to hear more from you, and what you have had to deal with. I too have often thought that maybe I got this at this time in my life so that I can help someone else. Like you said, if that is the reason, it would make it all worth it. I try to say a little prayer each day that I might be a blessing to someone. Your friend, Sue

packrat2 2009-11-30 19:52:48 -0600 Report

Hi Sue Turner..if you are at 355 BS it should not take all day to get it down, your Dr. can tell you how much fast acting insulin to take and check blood every hour, when you get down to the 120s you will feel much better…best regards packrat2

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-01 08:42:42 -0600 Report

Thank you packrat,

I am on the pump, and after I did my adjustment within two hrs. it was down to 147, then it wouldn't let me adjust again, but I think that I can figure out a way to do it manually. I'm going to do some more experimenting with the pump and see if that is possible. If not, I do have the glucose pens, but I don't know how long the insulin is working after I make an adjustment because I am getting insulin constantly. But, it wasn't too long until it was back up in the 200s again. I will figure it out though. Thank you for your good advice. Your friend, Sue T.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-01 08:49:49 -0600 Report

I have been under a lot of stress lately dealing with my children, they just don't understand. I think that that as well has a lot to do with my BS problems. I'm am trying to not let them get to me, and get me down, but as of right now it just isn't working…I spoke with one of my daughters last night and we were talking about my diabetes, and she said mom I see people all the time that has the same problem that you have with type 1 diabetes, and they do fine. They do everything and anything that they want to do. I told her that she didn't live in my body and she doesn't know how I feel. Do you have any advice on dealing with difficult children???? LOL. And, these girls are in their 40s they should know better. Sue T.

elaines 2009-12-01 11:59:20 -0600 Report

Hi again, as for your daughters, they need to realize everyone reacts different to diabetes. I had a cousin who ate donuts and coffee every morning and his sugars are fine. Now someone else , it could send them into the 300's. He was diagnosed at 9, he is now in his 50's and just had a kidney transplant this year. Maybe there is a support group you all could go to so they can better understand, but maybe they wouldn't go. I am glad to hear your BS came down. Do you take a bolus when they are high? Take care. Elaine

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-01 12:14:49 -0600 Report

Hi elaines,

Glad to hear from you again. I was explaining to my daughter last night that very same thing that diabetics are not all alike and their bodys process insulins and other medications differently. One daughter lives about 100 miles away, and the other lives here, but I don't think that they would even attend a support group with me. I am really having a difficult time with them right now. To answer your question about the bolus; I am on the pump, and yes I do give my self a bolus adjustment when it is running too high. And, I check, and check, and check until it gets down to a fairly good level. However, the pump will only let you bolus about every 2-3 hrs. I am assuming that I could do it manually, but with the pump I am getting insulin continuously so I am almost afraid to do that, but, I just might give it a shot. And, speaking of shots I do keep the insulin pens on hand just incase something goes wrong with the pump. You never know with these machanics…LOL Are you saying that you are no longer considered a diabetic since you have had a pancreas transplant. Wow, that is just awsome!!! Not that you had to go through that, but you know what I mean, that things are working for you now. Do you mind my asking your age? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to, but I am always interested in knowing these things. You have been through alot. My prayers are with you that you continue to do well and thrive. Love to you, your friend, Sue T.

P.S. I am anxious to hear more.

packrat2 2009-12-03 20:03:28 -0600 Report

Hi Sue Turner..maybe your adjustment bolus amount over your target range needs to be changed ??.what is the Dr. saying??.regards packrat2

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-03 20:33:54 -0600 Report

Hi Packrat2, I just saw my endocrinologist last week and we changed some of the basal settings in my pump because I was having so many lows. I think I am still having problems with the carb/insulin ratio. I check my BS then I program into the pump the amount of carbs that I will be taking in, and it then gives me the amount of insulin with regards to the amount of carbs. When I have to guess about the carbs is when it gets really tricky. I am not good at that yet. But all of this is still new to me. But, I will learn. It has only been a year and half since I was diagnosed with diabetes. Thank you for your advice. Regards to you, Sue T.

packrat2 2009-12-05 09:47:53 -0600 Report

I have had my pump for one year now {Medtronic} but have had diabetes for over 45 years…I have a lot to learn about the pump also…have used Insulin with syringes since I was 20 years old…best regards packrat2

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-05 16:45:13 -0600 Report

Hi packrat2,

You have the same pump that I have. Wow, so you have had diabetes for 45 yrs. That is a long time. How do you like the pump? Are you happier with it than with giving yourself all the injections? I am still getting use to mine; I still have a lot to learn. Regards to you, Sue T.

packrat2 2009-12-05 17:13:36 -0600 Report

I love the pump, glad the Dr. had me go on it…lots of $$$$
though…I am on Medicare, that paid for most of the price

elaines 2009-12-01 11:42:26 -0600 Report

Hi Sue
I did OK on Thanksgiving, only 1 dessert and it was small. I had a kidney from my sister in 2005 and a pancreas in 2007 so I don't have the sugars anymore but I still watch. With my luck I will get adult onset, just kidding. You really need to keep a closer eye on those sugars. I suffered many years with out of control BS and I am paying the price. I would love to talk more and help any way I can. I am not good in front of a group of people but have so much experience to offer I am glad I found this. Don't give up, keep trying and praying. Take care.

elaines 2009-12-02 11:05:57 -0600 Report

Good Morning Sue
I hope your BS are doing well. I actually have been having problems with them going low, between 70 and 50. They are not sure why. Since the transplant my sugars have been normal and no longer need medication. I used to take 4-6 shots a day. As for the question about am I still considered diabetic, that is difficult. Technically no because I don;t need to watch my levels but they say yes because I have all the damage that will never be reversed. It will help to prevent further damage but what's done is done. I pretty much have about every complication a diabetic can get so I can answer a lot of questions. As for my age, I don't mind, I am 41 diagnosed with type 1 when I was 19. I had a period with no insurance and no insulin and would not ask my family for help. I don't know how I managed to stay alive. I have been in DKA a few times once even needing to be life flighted to another hospital but there was too much snow so I went by ambulance. I now have good insurance and great doctors at the Cleveland Clinic and a great supporting boyfriend and family. Your daughters need to understand any thing can raise your sugar from a hang nail to stress. I hope they will eventually come around and see what a horrible disease this is. Do they realize they are at risk themselves? Thanks for the prayers, mine are with you also. Your friend Elaine.

NewTerry19 2009-11-28 18:25:25 -0600 Report

Hey Sue,
I feel ya there sister, been there, my two boys don't even seem to want to learn bout my diabetes, even after 14 years! but I don't let that get to me, my daughter was scared at first, but she went to some classes with me ( and the hospital for DKA) and now she really gets it. The Ex thing, well when those bad nthots pop in, just pop em out by a new good memory of you and your new hubby! The feelings are normal, I still get them myself, I just get tiredof prickin my fingers, eatin the right food, I just wana be the junk food junkie I was before, but I cant, so I get back into my routine by remember I control the disease, not the other way around.
Remember that AND the past is the past, you can't go forward in life if you're hanging on to the past. Try keeping thinking of ALL the good things in your life and the bad seems to fade!! Good Luck, and I'm here if you ever wana chat.
Your new friend

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-30 17:48:13 -0600 Report

Hi NewTerry, Thank you for your encouraging comments. My children don't seem to know anything about diabetes at all even though they have been around it and have seen the bad affects of it. When we are having a meal and I say I can't have that, they just say ah mom you can have anything you want it's not going to hurt you. Just be sure that you give yourself enough insuline. They tell me that I am letting the diabetes control me instead of me controlling it. Sometimes I think they just don't care or they would be more understanding. We had a great Thanksgiving, but I am paying for it now. I have been really down and out fighting this thing. When that happens all of those old thoughts seem to start to creep in again. You had mentioned the EX thing and that the feelings I am having are normal, and you still get them yourself. Have you been married before and gone through this? Sometimes the things that I remember upset me to the point that I feel that I can't bare it. Thats when I start praying for strength, and trying to push them out of my mind. I went through 40 yrs. of physical, mental, and emotional abuse, and I am really having a hard time getting past all of that. My daughters have blinders on when it comes to their father. In their eyes, daddy can do no wrong, and mom is always the bad guy. I don't know how much more of the guilt and punishment I can bare. I feel guilty and punish myself for getting out of a bad situation. My children still think that their father and I should be together. They blame me for the break-up of our family. I am at the point that I just don't know what to do. Sue T.

NewTerry19 2009-12-05 17:26:43 -0600 Report

Kids are very strange people, my tweo sons know that their father is worthless, but they still like being around him, stupid runs in our family ;( My oldest decided that I was the worst mother on the planet after his grandparens and other family members LIED to him bout me, but instead of askin me my side he made his own decision, now we really don't have a relationship, but his choice, he will have to live with that, my youngest son doesn't like my current husband, for his own selfish reasons, so I don't see or talk to him much either, again his decesion, Now my daughter is more like a sister than a daughter, she knows how useless her father is and chooses to ignor him, it is hard "giving up" my boys, but I remember all the sacrifices I made for them when I had to leave their father, and now they are adults withtheir own lives, my job is done, so now finally my life is mine again, I don't try to gey my boys to understand my diease, it's useless, so I don't bring it up. And when thigs are "bad" for and the boys are round, I just tell them to let me handle ,my diabetes since they never wanted to learn so they could help me if and when I needed it, yeah it makes them mad, but hey they truth hurts.
I have been married twice before, the father of my kids was abusive in everywasy possible, mentally, physically, emotinally, He made me almost loose my daughter while pregnant, when my 1st was 7 months old he aimed a shotgun at me while I was holding the baby and aaa he could say was one shot will get rid of you both, and then he also raped me twice in our marriage, I absolutely HATED him ok I still do, but I don't let get to me. Gee I wonder why I divorced him? LOL
My second marriage was a lot better, but he didn't trust me and always accused me of cheating, but he was good to the kids, but I couldn't be me, so aagain I left. I just recently got married for thr 3rd and final time. He is abosuletly wonderful, but we started as friends then went into a "relationship: then 4 1/2 yrs later we get married, he actually WANTS to learn bout my diabetes, to "help" me.
So after all that I guess my only advice is this, your kids have made their own lives and how they wana handle your diabetes, ok fine,, but they are not yiur responsbility anymore, your new hubby and YOUR life is, so don't force your girls to handle, or learn bout, just say Hey, I've got this and now I gota learn as much bout as I can so I can enjoy MY life again. The memories do seem to pop up more when youre havin a bad bs day, mine too, but I just tell myself that those dsays are gone and do something fun and good for myself, like walkin my dog, but he's old so we don't go far, but in that short time I clear mt bad thoughts, and get back into my stuff, sometimes writing ( not typing) my feelings (all of them) really helps, thrn if you wana, burn them, that sometimes helps too.
I don't know what pump you use, but I have the Animas IR 2020, and it has set basal rates, and I can give myself xtra if I need it,
Go talk to a dietican, maybe your like me and carb sensitive.
Hope this helps,

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-05 18:13:43 -0600 Report

Wow, that sounds like reading about my own life. I experienced some of the same things with my ex. He was very abusive, mentally, physicall, and emotionally. He too held a gun to me, and threatened many times to kill me. He tried to kick me in the stomache when I was pregnant with our 1st daughter. I have a big dent in my left thigh where I turned just in time so that he hit my leg instead of hitting me in the stomache.I miscarried with my first baby, a little boy; he would hit me and shove me down. Boy, we could go on with this I think forever. As for the girls I think that they are in denial when it comes to their father. You are right, they are grown, married and have their own families, and I have got to stop letting the things that they say or do get me down. They don't want to get along with my new husband, they blame me for the break up of the family. As far as learning about the diabetes, they try to tell me how I should or shouldn't feel. I told one of them the other day that she didn't live in my body so she didn't know how I feel. Well, I think I will get settled in for the evening and relax with my hubby. It has been snowing here today, which is a rarity, we hardly ever get snow. Of course it is all gone now, but still cold. Have a fire going in the fire place, so it is nice cozy. I will talk to you again later. Hugs to you, Sue T.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-12-05 18:16:53 -0600 Report

Oh, I ment to tell you that I have the Medtronic pump. And my basal rates are set as well. All I have to worry about is getting my carbs right, enter them into the pump and it does the rest. It gives me the amount of insulin I am suppose to have to the number of carbs I put in. Sue T.

JillHaire 2009-11-24 11:44:08 -0600 Report

Thank you so much for this sharing. I was diagnosed at age 43 with Type 1. Never overweight, no Type 2, a very different disease.
I'm a therapist and certainly have a lot of skills. However, this is a full time job emotionaly, physically, spiritually. Wow.
Any support will help.
I have felt quite alone for 13 years.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-24 12:21:38 -0600 Report

Hi Jill, I am so happy to have you as a friend. Just got back from seeing my endocrinologis this a.m., things went very well. I am getting ready to go to seem my therapist. I will continue this conversation hopefully later on today. You are right, this is a full time job in every way. I have been in the medical field for 40 yrs., and I have problems dealing with this disease. I also have had a lot of diabetic patients, so it wasn't anything new to me, but when it comes home to you, things are a little different. You can empathize with your patients more. Will talk to you again later, got to go for now.
Sue T. Again, Welcome.

Pam S
Pam S 2009-11-27 17:14:45 -0600 Report

same problem with me too…diagnosed at age 39…type 1..not overweight..just genetic:( its still overwhelming and its been 2 years for me…

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-30 18:39:02 -0600 Report

Hi Pam,

Were you diagnosed just two years ago? If so, you must have been diagnosed around the same time as I was. It will be two years for me in April, April the 17th my husband and my wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary, you have diabetes. Yeah, right, huh!!!!

Bishop236 2009-11-19 02:25:14 -0600 Report

Hi Sue,

I know that when my blood glucose levels get too low, I feel depressed as well. Then i start worrying about things that would never bother me otherwise. That's a trigger for me, and I check my bs and get something to eat. Usually when I get depressed, my bs is between 30-50.

It used to be that if it was that low, I'd cram as many carbs as quickly as possible, then I'd shoot up too high. I thought I needed about 40mg of carbohydrates, but lately I have found that half that amount brings me back to a safe level, around 110-130.

It's tricky to judge, though, because of the amount of activity or as mentioned in another post, stress can add unkown consequences. I find myself checking my bs often as much as ten times a day.

It's impossible for a non-diabetic to understand the emotional baggage that goes hand in hand with this disease. I can identify with what you are feeling, and believe me when I say sympathize.

It gets really frustrating when a family member tells you, "You have to do a better job of controlling your blood sugars!" Easy for them to say. Eventually, you start living your life on their terms, if you let it happen.

You know yourself, and how your body reatcs to insulin or food intake better than they do, and please take my advise…Nod and agree with them, smiling all the time, but listen to your body. If you can't "feel" it, test it!

I changed my diet drastically about a year ago, and it has made a huge difference. Get rid of all of the "processed" foods, and eat complex carbohydrates, bran and grains. Instead of using candy bars or other like things to raise low bs's, eat a banana. It's all natural sugars that the body can use more efficiently, without the nasty side effects. It also improves emotional stability.

I tried using glucose tablets to stop plummeting blood sugars, but if anyone else is like me when you get low, you have immense cravings for food. Those little glucose wafers just do not curb that appetite!

One other thing that made a huge difference for me, was when a doctor decided I needed to use Lantus with my Humalog. I take about ten to fourteen units of Lantus daily, half in the am and the rest at dinner. The Humalog (if I'm in my target range of 120) is 1unit per every ten carbs. There is a tremendous amount of guesswork involved, but it woks.

For example, when I test before breakfast, and get a result of 140, for example, I wait to inject until I have decided what I'm going to eat. If I decide on a bowl of shredded wheat (about 40carbs per cup, depending), then I know I will need four units to cover the cereal. But I want to bring it down a bit (120), so I take 5 units of Humalog with the Lantus (two injections because you can't mix).

The difficulty is not knowing how active I will be before lunch. So I test when I get to work. If the day before I was a couch potato, watching football, then I might be higher than I wanted to be. So I do some excercises.

Everyone is different, though. It's something you'll have to discover. What will work for you.

I hope that everything works out for you, and hang in there, you're not alone!

Pam S
Pam S 2009-11-19 05:35:02 -0600 Report

I have a similar issue to your example for the morning. The only difference with me is that my numbers climb in the morning. So many times I try to correct when I just need to wait for the insulin to kick in. Of course then I end up dipping. I'm trying really hard to remember to not try to correct like that. Then I have novolog and Levemir kicking in at the same time (dipping takes place). Trial and error. As they say…the only person that can tell whats going on is the pwd…

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-23 18:20:53 -0600 Report

Thank you Bishop. I know that I am not alone. There are so many wonderful people on this site who experience the same things I do. I can usually tell when I wake up in the morning if my levels are low. I have all sorts of horrible things running through my head, and I know that I have got to get up right away and check, sure enough, I'm low. And, your right, you want to eat everything in site. I usually just grab my glucose tabs at that point. Then I lie back down for a little while, then check it again, and it is up to a decent level, and I start feeling better. I really don't like these mind games this disease plays with you. LOL… I have an appointment with my endocrinologist tomorrow; I am on the pump and they take the pump and download all the information onto their computer, print it out, and she can see how my levels have been running. I still keep a record of what I eat and when though. I like to be able to have something I can look at for myself. I had to do that for my Dr. before I got my pump. But now with all of this modern technology, I don't have to do that. This trial and error thing can get old fast though. I hate that, but like everyone knows, diabetes is not an exact science. You just never know what number is going to show up…

rankearl 2009-11-24 10:45:45 -0600 Report

hi all thanks for all your comments being on the pump was the best thing that ever happened to me and my diabetes once al the basala are set right because i have the pump i use humalog it reacts fast and is out of your system fast i have hypo glymic unawarness im not as good as i once was! all this toether can really cause some problems for me we all come in to this world differnt and we all will leave for differnet reasons all we can do is try to be the best we can be every day and yes somedays are easier than others hope this helps take care hugs julie

rankearl 2009-11-17 14:55:54 -0600 Report

hi sue im type 1 38 yrs i was dx at age 11 its harder to say no to all that good stuff if you had it for so long diabetes is automatic for me now it will be that way for you too it does get easier i got a csom pump 6yrs ago this best thing i ever did if you can get a pump doooo it im not a perfect diabetic we are human holidays are hard pick one dessaert and taste it or youll sneak more later i too im on my second marriage 3yrs good realtionships are alot of wrok but it is worht it hope i helped hang in there julie

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-17 15:10:04 -0600 Report

Hi Julie,

Good to hear from you. I was just on DLife reading up on some info related to type 1 diabetes, or just diabetes in general. Some of the things that I read was very depressing…I had to just stop, and go into something else. I hope that "it" gets easier for me. I was diagnosed so late in life, that I am still in shock. I am alread on the pump. The pump is great isn't it? It certainly takes a lot of work out of things. You can get spoiled really quickly. So you are on your second marriage too, huh! I was married to my first husband for 40 yrs., and it has been realy hard letting go of the past and moving forward in my new life. I have had a very hard time doing that, and I'm not there yet, but I am working on it. Some people can get out of one relationship, move on to another one and never look back, well, I can't do that, it's not that easy for me. I do not adapt to change well. LOL Yes, your comments were a help to me. Thank you so much! Your new friend, Sue T.

GiGiB 2009-11-18 20:05:44 -0600 Report

Hi Sue!
Keep your chin up. Once you adjust to the shock, it gets a bit easier. Just think, I was diagnosed in 1972 at the age of 5 when there where no insulin pumps or glucometers. I had to check my sugar via my urine in a test tube with a tablet. Boy have things changed and I am ever so grateful for my pump and glucometer. The American Diabetic Association may have a support group in your area. Email them and ask…they can help too!

Good luck :0) you will be fine

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-24 12:15:00 -0600 Report

Hi GiGi, I just read your post. Thanks for the info., I will check into the ADA and see what I can find out regarding support groups. I had my visit with my endocrinologis this a.m., things went very well. The pump has helped tremendously. Sue T.

Richard157 2009-11-15 19:44:57 -0600 Report

Hello Sue, I can identify with your need to identify with other Type 1's. I was diagnosed with Type 1 in 1945, when I was 6. The only advice we were given was to not eat sugar. I had very poor control and high blood sugar because we were not advised to follow a low carb diet.

We did not know any other diabetics for many years. My teachers knew nothing about diabetes and my classmates thought I was weird because I had to be watched so carefully.

I finally began talking to other Type 1's online in 2006, 61 years after my diagnosis. I felt out of touch because there was no internet and online diabetes support groups until i was in my 60's. I have now been Type 1 for 64 years and I am very healthy.

I hope very much that you can use carb counting and a basal/bolus program to have good control. I started pumping insulin 30 months ago and now I have the best control I have ever had. Have you considered using a pump?

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-16 17:40:12 -0600 Report

Good evening Richard,

I just read your post. I am so happy for you. To know that someone has had type 1 diabetes for as many years as you have, with no complications, is "amazing!"

You must have very good genes running in your family. I was diagnosed just before my 61st birthday with type 1. I was terrified to say the least. It didn't run in the family, there was no family history at all; both my parents and grandparents live to be in their late 80s and 90's. As a matter-of-fact, my grandmother on my mother's side of the family was 98 yrs. old when she died, and that was from having fallen, while dancing. Her hip broke, then she fell. She had to have surgery, and she just gave up. We knew that if anything ever happened to her and she had to be put to bed, she would give up, and she did. She always said that she was going to live to be 100, then that was long enough. LOL. And, I think she would have made it, if her hip had not have broken.

I am on the pump. I have the Medtronic MiniMed. I went on the pump 5 months after I was diagnosed. I love it. My daughter and I went to lunch today at the Olive Garden, and we had the soup and salad. I thought that I had put in enough carbs to cover everything, but when I checked my BS about 2 1/2 hrs. later it was 258. I did an adjustment on my pump; it gave me 1.3 units of insulin, and within an hour it was down to 96.

It would have been wonderful had they had all of these modern conveniences when you were first diagnosed so many years ago, but it seems that you have done great, and thank goodness we have them now.

I have seen you on here a lot, and read many of your posts. I would love to hear more of your story about how you have come such a long way having to deal with this disease. You are such an encouragement and inspiration to all of us, just to know that we can make it… Let me hear more from you… Your friend, Sue T.

Richard157 2009-11-16 19:00:10 -0600 Report

Sue, I presented a series of blogs many months ago that give my diabetes history and autobiography. Here is a post that I preparedback then. It lists the links for each chapter. That is a lot of reading to do, maybe the first few chapters will give you some idea of how things were for a diabetic in my very early years.


Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-17 06:58:46 -0600 Report

Thank you Richard,

I have read some of them. Amazing!!!! Thank you for sharing with us.

Your friend, Sue T.

scarr 2009-11-12 18:09:01 -0600 Report

Understand what you are going through,it is hard sometimes for the doctors even at times to understand.I was diagnosed after 7 years as a type 1 diabetic.At times it can be the most frustrating dis-ease.Sounds like you are "brittle" the BGL's shift back and forth all the time, your diet is correct you count your carbs or plug in your reg.dosage then all of a sudden "bang" that count is not working.I am off of my pum and back on sliding scale right now with humolog and Lantus so far the BG's look better.I believe everyone's metabolism isdifferent, coupled with the other ailments diabetics may have such as thyroid,HBP,etc.If those counts are off or undetected that also produces an embalance.For myself I always have to reassess my emotional state that causes BGL to escalate also.Understand also relationships and rememberances are not easy,so we need to take care of ourselves very well.If you have time to take a walk in a scenic place for a few moments that helps me release and renergize.Did water areobics for a short time. Let your Dr."s know how you are feeling…perhaps there are some other changes to be made.Try not to be frustrated, it happens.Hang in there Sue.Hope this is helpful,all the best!

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-15 14:02:36 -0600 Report

Hi scarr,

Yes, your comments are right on, and very helpful. Thank you so much. Everything you said seems to apply to me and my situation in some way…

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-15 14:05:18 -0600 Report

I just became aware that you just joined the site a couple of days ago. I would like to say, Welcome!!!!!! I hope that it will be of great help to you.

azrookie 2009-11-12 15:16:24 -0600 Report

My husband was diagnosed when he was 65 after a lifetime of sports activity, low weight range, healthy diet. Go figure. He was mis-diagnosed and incorrectly treated as a T2 for over a year until we found a better specialist who immediately confirmed that he is indeed a T1…on a different and better insulin program now. He too is depressed by the jolt to his self image and the management issues…but I remind him when he's feeling sad that it still beats the alternative. Keep smiling, find reasons to laugh and get that 30 minutes minimum of active exercise every day and let me know how you're doing.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-12 17:22:23 -0600 Report

Hi Azrookie,

When I was first diagnosed, my idiot Dr. (that I don't see anymore) diagnosed me as a type II, I guess because of my age. Due to his misdiagnosis, I almost died. I can empathize with your husband. I can imagine just imagine how he feels. I wasn't over weight either, I only weigh 110 lbs. I ended up in the hospital with a bg reading that was off the charts, and in full blown ketoacidosis. My husband was so angry, and still is at the negligence of my Dr. He said you will never see that man again for anything. You are right, no matter how down we get, it does still beat the alternative. Hope your husband gets to feeling better about things. If you don't mind my asking, how long has it been since he was diagnosed? I will keep you posted on my progress, and you keep me posted on your husband's as well.

azrookie 2009-11-12 19:13:20 -0600 Report

Steve was diagnosed about a year and a half ago, Feb of 08 we went to the hospital after he had suddenly lost almost 20 lbs, was thirsting constantly and measured bg that night about 400…his doc really didn't know what he was doing, and, frankly, the first specialist to whom we were referred was a Nigerian woman doctor who turned out to be in the country illegally and suddenly disappeared…allowing us to get lucky and find a really good diabetes doc. This doc, Dolinar, co-wrote a book called Diabetes 101 which is now out of print but can be acquired through Amazon.com…he writes about using Humalog and Humilin in dynamic balance. Steve has now regained his weight which helps his self image some and we continue to work with using insulin while there are significant factors of stress and asthma and apnea. I guess my main message to him is that none of this is anything he caused…no guilt should be ascribed to having these issues…we are all just trying to do the best we can…it's like a moral imperative.

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-16 17:54:10 -0600 Report

Your husband was diagnosed about the same time as I was diagnosed. I was loosing weight really fast as well. I was loosing about 1 to 2 lbs. a day. It still didn't dawn on me what was going on; I just knew that I felt really badly. I didn't have a clue, and I have been in the medical profession for 40 yrs. Diabetes just didn't enter my mind. It was not something that ran in my family, so I didn't give that a second thought. Just about everyone in my family just died from old age. LOL. I know that isn't funny, but it's true; they were all in their 80s or 90s. I'm glad that your husband is doing better, and has gained his weight back. And, it wasn't anything that he did or did not do that caused this. I have restled with that as well. For a long time I questioned if I was being punished for something, then, I said to myself, "Sue just look at all the people who have this disease; look at the little babies who are born with it, did they do something to be punished for, I don't think so." But, I think we all go through these things to a point. I don't know, maybe, maybe not. I guess we just have to take what life gives us and do the best we can with it. Let me hear from you again, and let me know how your husband is doing. Sincerely, your friend, Sue T.

Sally Thomas
Sally Thomas 2009-11-10 11:30:58 -0600 Report

I have been Type 1 for 34 years and I too experience the yo-yo effect with emotions. When I am low my husband and children know it immediately. It would appear I am just a tad bit "grouchy" when I go low. However, just normal every day stuff can give me alot of ups and downs depending on how my blood sugars are. Good luck to you!

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-10 12:28:27 -0600 Report

Hi Sally,

You have been dealing with this for a long time…It seems that I stay on that emotional roller coaster. Today has been one of those days; I just can't seem to function. I have wanted to sit down and cry all day; I just can't seem to pull myself out of this funk. I woke up in a panick this morning with just awful thoughts going through my head. I thought surely my bs must be low, so I got out of bed and checked it, and it was great. Don't know what is wrong; I just want it to go away. It is raining here today, and I think, no, I know that it affects the way I feel. Well, hopefully, things will get better as the day goes along. Thank you for your response. Good luck to you as well!

Sally Thomas
Sally Thomas 2009-11-11 13:20:34 -0600 Report

I understand the emotional roller coaster as well. I can go quite a while and be pretty steady and ok. And then BAM-I get all shook up. I try very hard to always concentrate on the good-I can still walk, talk, and take care of me. However, that doesn't always work. I really wish you well with all of this. Sounds to me like you maybe need to have a long in depth conversation with your dr. Diabetics are so prone to depression and without treating it it doesn't get better. Once again, good luck!

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-11 13:49:24 -0600 Report

Thank you Sally,

I have two therapists that I see right now. My depression had gotten so bad at one point, I was contemplating suicide. That was horrible. I just couldn't get these horrible thoughts out of my head, and it was driving me crazy. I think it is getting better, and I am learning new ways to deal with it, but when it hits, and the panick attacks hit, it is just awful. I just want it to go away. I too, as you do, try to think about the good things in my life, and, that works for awhile. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for. But, I am going to discuss it with my endocrinologist when I see her this month. See what she has to say about it. I don't know if it will do any good these doctors are so above the clouds, that you can't make them understand what you are going through, unless they are experiencing it themselves. So, wish me luck. LOL I'll let you know what the outcome is.

Pam S
Pam S 2009-11-11 20:18:00 -0600 Report

Sue…you just hang there…you are not alone at all:)
Those roller coasters are annoying…my family knows when I start to dip too. I get so anxious I don't know if I am coming or going:)

Pam S
Pam S 2009-11-07 18:38:16 -0600 Report

I am new to this site but came across your post. I have to say I don't have the same type of problem, but my job is very stressful. I actually left my doctors office in September depressed and then started crying in the car on the way home. I think the ups/downs and stress of life can make us miserable or depressed. Hang in there:)

Sue Turner
Sue Turner 2009-11-08 07:43:28 -0600 Report

Good Morning Pam.

First off, welcome to the site. I just read your post. Are you a type I or type II diabetic? It seems that we all have to deal with the same problems regardless of which one we are. I have a younger brother who is thpe II, and he has his ups and downs as well. He controlled his for years with diet and exercise and has just recently had to go on medication.

Do you ever suffer from panic attacks? I woke up this morning with my ex on my mind, and automatically went into that panic mode. I just can't seem to get the life we had together out of my mind and let it go. I don't know why I can't do that. But I feel as though a part of my life is missing, and there is nothing I can do about it. I think I have some form of OCD!!! lol. Because these things get in my head and they just seem to stick there. Don't know what to do about it. Then, I start feeling very insecure, like a little kid wanting their mommy. Isn't that funy? Wish my mom were here so I could talk to her, she could always cheer me up. She has been deceased for many years now, and I really miss her. I can identify with how you feel. There are days that I don't want to do anything but cry, and I do!!! It seems that I have to force myself to do what I have to do on a daily basis. I hope you are happily married with a wonderful family who understands what you go through. Well, I could go on forever,and write a book it seems on my life, but I will go for now. I am feeling a little low this morning, got to pull myself together. Keep in touch. I appreciate all the positive feed back I can get. I am so glad that "I" found this site. There are so many wonderful, understanding people on here who understand what we are going through, and want to help. Keep in touch; would love to hear more from you. Hugs. and have a wonderful day; it is beautiful! Love the sunshine. Sue