Today is my first day here,but unfortunately not my first day as a diabetic. I started out with gestatinal diabetes when I was pregnant with my first child 32 yrs ago. The day he was born, no sign of diabetes and the next 2 prenancy I didn't have it though I was monitored closely. It wasn't unitl my mid to late 30's after gaining a lot of weight quiting smoking, that onset diabetes appeared. I was in denial for a long time. Even went back to smoking as any weight loss resulted in better BS (blood sugars) It's more then 12 yrs later. I haven't smoked in 8 yrs. That's the only positive thing to say about my health. I'm a mess. Yoyo dieting, thousands of dollars we don't have on nutritionists, diet programs, gyms. I am an incurable carboholic.
I'm sorry to vent so on my first day, but I'm an emotional wreck. I'm almost a clone of my mother, who smoked, had diabetes (more than likely she had gestational though they didn't check but my sisters weight 10lbs, 11lbs and I topped out the scale at 12lbs, so more than likely diabetes was a factor) She was overweight most of her life and on many medications. That's me. Mom died at 49. I'm 49. Yet I still put carbs in my mouth and overeat. I feel like a fool.
But there must be a glimmer of hope in me as I'm here. Still searching for something that can make a switch go off and give me the strength to do what only I can do.
Thank you for enduring my long post.
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