Please Pray for my son

By Darly Latest Reply 2009-09-23 14:37:03 -0500
Started 2009-09-12 20:39:52 -0500

I know this may not be the place for this but here it is. My youngest of 4 son's (25) has had an opiate problem for some time now,he is in complete denial,has stolen from a lot of us,lies to our face,it is just awful to watch…this is not my son,rather the person he has become because of the addiction. I have been a single parent since he was a yr. old. I know what a loving,caring,kind,sweet young man he is and can be again. I talked with his father (useless for many years!) and there is something we can do where we go to court and let them know he is a danger to himself and have him picked up and made to go into re-hab for 30 days,his 3 brothers are right behind us. This tears me apart that it has come to this,it has just been him & I for the past 5 years now…I am so upset and worried,every time he walks out the door I worry. I know he is going to hate us for what we are about to do,but the tough love has to come in now,I can't throw him on the street!! It has come down to him even selling his bed while I was out one day!!! This is so very sad and upsetting!! I am going to have a very rough time with this but I will know he is safe and getting the help he needs…I have a picture of him posted I think. I would like to ask all of my friends here on DC to please pray for my son & our family that he gets the help he needs before something terrible happens to him…Thank you so much for reading this post even though it has nothing to do with diabetes…Recently I saw on my bank account that there were 2 transactions made,and not by me, $400. withdrawn at ATM one night,then $200. at 2:30 am the following morning,yes he claims it was not him…I had just put $150.(that was all that was in there!) in there to pay my cable bill!! I am very upset with him and at the same time realize that he is a very sick young man…Thank you again…Darlene*

45 replies

swanslake54 2009-09-23 14:37:03 -0500 Report

Darly, i'm sorry to hear about your son. I know how painful it must be to feel so helpless. there is nothing that God can't handle and asking for prayer is the best thing you can do. may God bless you and your family.

SusanJ 2009-09-21 15:42:32 -0500 Report

My heart goes out to you. I have a son-in-law that as been on drugs. He has been in and out of rehabs different times. Prayer can do wonders. Do not give up hope. Yes it will be a struggle for a while. But you need to stand firm. My prayers are with you both. Take care of yourself as well.

Darly 2009-09-21 15:58:37 -0500 Report

Thank you very much! I have been praying non-stop as well as the whole family and my family on DC!!! I am so alone right now! I know my son will be picked up soon on all kinds of charges, B & E, larceny,whatever else! I don't know whether to cry,hide under the covers,scream or what! He is out in my car right now,thinking he was brought to the police station just for questions,not knowing he is defiantly going to have criminal charges brought against him…My son is a very sweet young man,even when he is high,I don't think he will fare up very well in jail,I am lost right now,can't even think. My baby may be going away to jail,I just can't imagine that! I can see him going to rehab,but not jail!! I am very depressed and alone. I did not tell his 3 brothers yet,just called his father earlier to tell him. So sad,very,very sad… :(

lfaamom 2009-09-21 16:41:36 -0500 Report

Darly, please hang in there, I know it is very hard to see everything that is going on. Know this, you are not alone, it feels that way,but NO!! you are not alone. Pray that the good Lord gives you strength. I love you Darly and I am praying,and thinking about you every minute of every day,

Darly 2009-09-21 17:46:10 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for your support,prayers etc…You made me feel better,especially the fact that you wrote I Love you,well, I love you too! Thank you so much,I am not alone!..I am talking with my son trying to figure things out…Love to you!

Sally Thomas
Sally Thomas 2009-09-21 16:53:45 -0500 Report

What you can do sweetie is stand by your son-let him know you won't walk away. That your love is unconditional. Having no prior record the chances are greater that he will get the help he needs. His crime is directly related to his drug usage. That has an influence in the courts. You are constantly in my heart and prayers. Please know that.

Darly 2009-09-21 17:51:31 -0500 Report

Thank you! I am sticking by my son no matter what,he needs me right now and I am here. We are talking and trying to figure things out,he is surprised that I am by his side and not tossing him aside! He is on the phone with his father right now for advice. My son did admit that he took this electronic thing down there,it was not in a storage unit locked up,he regrets taking it and feels awful,they found that out from showing his picture around at pawn shops,that was the only thing,don't know how this will turn out. He is very determined to get a full time job and get out of Lynn,where we live,and,get his life back. I made him promise me to get a job and get away from everything,start his life over again on the right track or he will end up in jail. Like he even said,this is quite a wake-up call for him,he is beside himself…

Thank you all…I love you all


hbkunkel 2009-09-22 09:34:21 -0500 Report

Darly - Keep us posted and my heartfelt prayers go out to you. Your son has not hit bottom yet and sounds like he is in denial. Jail maybe the thing he needs. It is a true wake up call and I know from first hand experience that it may be what he needs. I have a place to recommend but I have to get the information about it and then I will send you a message. Keep us informed!
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

mamaoak 2009-09-19 19:16:41 -0500 Report

dear Darly you have all the prayers for you and your son i can say. It is a long hall i went through this 15 years ago with my son i was able to send him to a drug rehabcenter thank the good Lord and prayers it worked for him he is now celibrated his 10 aniversary drug and alcahol free it took him 5 years to straighten out. it was a very trying time for our family hope all works out for you and your son. Some times you all most have to disown them i shed many tears it is one of the most hurtfull things our children can put us through. but we as mothers have to forgive them for they know not what they are doing. I now have a son that i can be proud of.

Darly 2009-09-21 13:57:41 -0500 Report

Hey there! Welcome back!! Thank you fro sharing your story,and,making me feel there is hope for my son. I have been away for a few days and just catching up…Thank you again!


Darly 2009-09-21 14:12:57 -0500 Report

Thank you all for your support! I think it may be too late about police being involved. I got home from a friends house this morning,I was walking out the front door of the condo building I live in,there were two guys standing at the door,showed me a badge,I let them in. They asked me what unit I lived in,I told them. The detective asked if they could talk to me,I ask why,he said it's about your son. My heart went pounding!! He asked if we could talk in my condo,there would be more privacy there,so we walked down and I let them in,my son was sleeping. The detective put a folder down on my counter,on front it said B&E!!! He told me that they were investigating a series of break-ins down in the storage units for some time now and it pointed to my son. He said they had definite proof of one occasion,he said the break-ins started at beginning of summer up until last night!! I signed the paper to search the house,knowing nothing was here…He asked me to wake my son up,I did with the two of them at my side. They took him into the living room,had the officer stand there with him while I went with detective to search rooms,found nothing. They asked him to go down to the station with him and answer some questions,he did. When he came home he said they had him in the interrogation room asking him questions,then said he could leave!..When I got back in he said they were "cool" about it. I told him they have proof that he broke in a storage unit,he said he didn't do anything,and,they didn't mention that to him. I called his father to tell him,gave him the detectives name and number. He called me back and told me that he said they gave Marty the chance to answer questions and help them,he did not do it,he also said he will be brought up on criminal charges about the break in they had proof of that it was my son!! I am devastated!! His father told me to tell him to check himself into a rehab so that it will look good to the judge that he is trying to help himself and maybe he will just get probation, he has no record at all!! His father said that no matter what he will be brought up on charges!! I am in such a state of mind I don't know what to do! My son took my car to go look for a job (he said!)…I am waiting for a knock on the door with the police there to arrest him!!…My son hardly drinks but drank a beer after he came home from police station!!

Vicrgreen 2009-09-17 17:58:00 -0500 Report

The bad news is that even when it is over and done and he kicks the habit (if he does) it will cling to him for the rest of his life. My daughter had a drug problem which she finally kicked at age 40. She has been clean and drug free for 5 years.

Recently her doctor prescribed Zyrtec for her allergies. She had just picked up her month's supply when she and her fiance were stopped for a traffic violation. The officers saw the medication. They were taken to the station house and separated. Eventually she was told that he had given permission for the police to search her house, did she object? She said if he said it was ok it was ok by her, too. They searched and found: flashlight batteries, coffee filters, and table salt. She was charged with having precursors to Meth manufacture. She, having had problems with the law before, foolishly ran. She was ultimately found, because the fiance turned her in, and extradited back to the state where she had been living. She recently had her court date. The legal aid attorney, who only showed up 1/2 an hour before she was due in court told her he had arranged a plea bargain for her and she had better take it. She did. The sentence was 18 years. She said given her past drug record this was a 3d time offense and she feared if she didn't take the plea bargain they would put her in jail for the rest of her life under the 3d time loser rule.

All of which may have no bearing on your son's case as you didn't say he had a record as a drug user, but if he keeps on he will have if he doesn't now.

You and your son will be in my prayers. I hope you and he have a much better outcome than my daughter has had.

God bless you both.

Darly 2009-09-18 09:01:50 -0500 Report

Hi Vic! Thank you also for sharing your story,I am so sorry to hear what has happened to your daughter,my heart goes out to you! My son does not have a police,or drug record as of yet, I am sure that if this goes on too much longer he will. I have no idea as to how he is getting this money! He only gets $104. a week from unemployment. I know he has stolen from all of us,and,just recently, Tuesday,found that a gold chain (sm.) and another gold chain w/ 2 charms, #1 MOM,#1 Grandma were missing,of course it wasn't him! It must have been my cat that walked away with them! …I am going back to visit a friend for the weekend,too hard to be around him,there I will call his Dad and make plans for Monday or Tuesday (he has off) to go to court about getting him the help he needs…I am thankful to all for such an overwhelming response, I was embarrassed posting this!…but after seeing of all this and reading all the stories,I know I am not alone here. Hugs to all

Vicrgreen 2009-09-19 18:46:38 -0500 Report

Keep your chin up and your hopes high. Keep in mind that you are not entirely alone in this situation. It sounds as though his Father is interested in helping him as well and that is a big thing. So many fathers aren't, or can't find the time, yadda yadda yadda.

May you have some of God's best blessings.

Darly 2009-09-21 13:56:18 -0500 Report

Thank you Vic!! His Father is somewhat involved,but,has turned his cheek the other way when I would tell him stuff and he himself has stuff missing after our son was at his house…He is doing this from a distance,but he is there.

GODSANGEL41309 2009-09-17 10:35:18 -0500 Report

Hi Darlene:

I think you took my life over. I know the pain you are suffering..My youngest daughter is a crac user. She started this downhill spiral when she was in middle school. I tried everything!!! For years suffering not for what I had done but for her denial/responsibility of her addiction. Like you I tormented myself..thinking I had somehow been a "bad mother". Well, good news..the only one that can help your son is GOD and secondly, himself! Don't spend years like I did, trying to figure out why! Only you know your family history, You used the working "very sick young man." You are absolutely right..Addiction is a disease and should be looked at as that instead of looking at your handsome, young son. The only way I found some piece of mind was to try and refocus my mind on the addiction and not my beautiful memories of my daughter. I hope this helps! It's impossible to share emotions on the computer! But take care..I will pray for peace of mind for you and of course, help for your son! I found this prayer in New Orleans on Mother Teresa's grave…If you pay, you will have faith, and if you have faith, you will love, and if you love, you will serve, and if you serve, you will have PEACE

Darly 2009-09-17 13:42:56 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for sharing everyone! GODSANGEL, I pray for your daughter,that she finds a way to help herself over come her addiction! Hang in there yourself,yes,it is hard. There is a family history of alcohol and substance abuse. We lost my oldest brother,Brian, to Oxycontin about 6 yrs. ago!…

Sally Thomas
Sally Thomas 2009-09-17 14:42:06 -0500 Report

Oh sweetie-how well I understand your struggle. Last summer (2008) I was blessed/cursed with finding out my oldest son was involved in and addicted to narcotics. I weighed my options, but seeing what he was doing to himself I really didn't have an option. The day I picked up the phone and called the diversion office and told them what I believed was going on was probably the most difficult day of my life. Which only proceeded to get more difficult. Later that day I had to watch as they took my son away in handcuffs. Had to hear him yell terrible things at me. Had to miss him once he was gone. Since that day he has gotten involved with drug court (in my town this is not an option, it's a must once they find out you are doing drugs) and I am proud to say he has just recently passed his one year anniversary of sobriety. The most beautiful day of my life was the day my son looked me in the eyes and said "Thank you mom for saving me from me. I couldn't have done it without you". Don't give up honey, no matter how hard it is. He needs you to save him from him. Good luck. You are most definately in my prayers!

Darly 2009-09-18 08:54:42 -0500 Report

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me,I cried not only because that is exactly what I had pictured in my mind when they do pick him up,but because of the great outcome you had with your son and you did what you had to do also,so similar! …Bless you both, Darlene

Wendy Mac
Wendy Mac 2009-09-15 12:16:59 -0500 Report

Dear Heavenly Father, Lift up Darly's son right now to your arms of mercy and healing. Let Darly know that she is not alone as she does this very hard thing. Just as You did for Your Son, she must do for hers. Leave it in Your hands God and accept your righteousnes. Let Darly's son know that You have encircled him with angel wings of physical and emotional healing. Thank you Lord, Amen

Darly, My heart goes out to you. As the mother of a son, who was going down a path of destruction. I understand and truly feel your pain. He was only 15 at the time, but I had to give him up to save him. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. It broke my heart, but it did turn out for the better. He is still reckless, but he is alive…happy and healthy. He loves life once again, and is not self-destructive.

Please know that the decision you are making for him may not seem like the correct one right now, but to keep him alive it must be done. I will continue to pray for your whole family.

Darly 2009-09-17 13:44:48 -0500 Report

Thank you for your prayer Wendy! My heart goes out to you for having to give your son up,I can't imagine the heartache that must have been!…Darlene

mamawx4 2009-09-15 11:28:14 -0500 Report

Hi Darly, this is my first post to this site. I just found it about an hour ago. I'm a pre diabetic struggling to not become a full blown diabetic. My 30 yr. old son has been in prison for 4 yrs. now for crimes he commit to get drugs. I can tell you things do get better and you are doing the right thing. IT has taken my son 3 1/2 yrs. to realize he has a problem, and that I can't fix his problems. He has to do this himself. I'll pray for the both of you, things will get better, with god all things are possible. Hang in there.

BLC 2009-09-14 19:50:33 -0500 Report

I am so sorry to hear about this. My friend at work asked me to pray for her 25 year old son today too. He has been looking for a job for several months and finally found a really great job. He went in for his first day and failed his drug test. She was so angry and hurt at him. He and his girlfriend have stolen from her and taken advantage of her. I hate this drug problem that America is facing. Something has to be done about it. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying your son will seek and find recovery from his addiction. I pray that you and your family can heal and find peace. God bless

BLC 2009-09-14 19:50:31 -0500 Report

I am so sorry to hear about this. My friend at work asked me to pray for her 25 year old son today too. He has been looking for a job for several months and finally found a really great job. He went in for his first day and failed his drug test. She was so angry and hurt at him. He and his girlfriend have stolen from her and taken advantage of her. I hate this drug problem that America is facing. Something has to be done about it. Please know that I am thinking of you and praying your son will seek and find recovery from his addiction. I pray that you and your family can heal and find peace. God bless

Darly 2009-09-14 20:48:38 -0500 Report

"WOW"…sounds just like my son and his girlfriend before she went to Florida in a recovery program,he went to a detox twice,for 6 days then 5,and the fact that he is 25 also! My son has lost many jobs due to this,but of course he lies and say's he was laid off. This drug problem is way out of control,I agree. I want to thank you for your thoughtfulness and prayers…Darlene*

hbkunkel 2009-09-14 12:51:23 -0500 Report

My son is 30 and has put us through living hell with excessive drinking and drugs. So I understand exactly the pain and heartache you are going through. What you are planning to do is excellent. As you go through the pain any agony of this situation take care of yourself. Watch that his problem does not affect your health and diabetes. He know the exact buttons to push to make you feel guilty but as you have admitted (and that is a very hard thing to admit) you have enabled him enough. Going this route is better than wondering when the police are going to call because he is dead or has done something awful. Hang in there and the Lord be with you. May guardian angels surround you in this true hour of need.
Higs, Betsie

Darly 2009-09-14 15:59:27 -0500 Report

I am so overwhelmed with all of your response's, I have goosebumps and tears in my eyes, I finally have people who understand what I am going through and are giving me great advice!! You all have showed me I am not alone,and understand,something I could not get from my family,but yet from my friends on DC…I love you all…God Bless!!

For all of you who are going through the similar problem,know that I am praying for you and your loved one also!


daniel velazco
daniel velazco 2009-09-14 19:23:07 -0500 Report

Darly I can understand what you are going thru. My cousin was a Heroin addict
and one day his mother was notified that he died of an over dose. So you are doing the right thing and when he is cured he will thank you. Stay strong and
my praters are with you and your family.

Darly 2009-09-14 20:54:32 -0500 Report

I am so sorry to hear about your cousin Dan! What a horrific thing to happen. That is the exact thing I am afraid of,finding him dead somewhere with a needle in his arm,when they no longer have money and no longer have a way of staling anymore they go to heroin as it is much cheaper and they get their fix! There is pure heroin going around where I live,they are not told and so far there have been about 25 deaths due to this…what a crying shame…Thank you for your support and prayers..Darlene*

Debe Pendice
Debe Pendice 2009-09-14 12:19:57 -0500 Report

You are being put on the prayer line as we speak. I will put you snd your family in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there…Debe

P2putt 2009-09-14 10:51:09 -0500 Report

Darly,Pete again.You have to acknowledge that you son has an addiction, together with an addictive personality. DO NOT let this excuse him from being accountable for his choices and actions. This is just another way to enable him. It implies that he has no choice,when in fact he does.Do whatever is necessary so that you are not participating in his addiction. Examples, change what you must, so he cannot get access to money, or objects of value that he can sell on the steet, hold him accountable,let him know that you approve of the good he does but not the use of drugs and all the drug related activities.Realize that you son like all addictive personalities perceive the good you do as weakness and will use it against you. They also know your HOT BUTTONS and whatever they are,(guilt,love,kindness,sorrow),they will use them against you to get what they (he) wants,another HIT (fix).So be very mindfull. These are the areas in which you are to be tough,but continue your support and encouragement.Love at a little distance -a tad detached. Do not be indifferent,cold or dismissive. I hope that this will be of some help. God Bless, Pete

ancoto 2009-09-13 09:47:46 -0500 Report

My prayers are with you. I know what it is like to have a loved on using. My father is an addict and I am always worried about him. Just know that my prayers are with you and I understand your pain.

lfaamom 2009-09-14 10:55:55 -0500 Report

DARLY, I read your post and I am so sorry at what you and your family are going through. Please have faith that everything is going to be alright.I pray that God will give you the spiritual strength and your family,friends to be able to confront him with his situation and we will continue to pray for you and him.lfaamom(Lina).

P2putt 2009-09-13 08:50:27 -0500 Report

I understand how you feel. I have a relative who has been addicted to opiates for many yrs. The family has tried to help him constantly,with little success,as he was in denial for so long.Unknowningly we were frequently enabling him.This is something that must be addressed and resolved.Through all of this we prayed and prayed hard realizing that the solution was out of our hands.It was in his and the Lord's.We will certainly include your son, you and your family in our prayers as we know that the Lord will lead him to recovery in His time not ours. Love Pete

Darly 2009-09-13 09:05:11 -0500 Report

I want to thank all of you fro your kind words of wisdom and your thoughts and prayers.

I have in the past,up until recently unknowingly enabled him,now I know it must stop! I have been told that it has to be him that wants the help in order for it to work,but,it has been a little over 2 years now and just getting worse. I do hope we are doing the right thing. I was also told that I should not just "throw him out on the street" to stick by him now matter what.

Thank you all again for the overwhelming response!…Darlene*

sweetdonna 2009-09-13 09:30:27 -0500 Report

Darly, I will most certainly pray for you and your son cause I know what you are going through. My son was not addicted to opiates - he was into meth, even to the point of cooking it himself and selling it. After one of his best friends died of a drug induced heart attack at the age of 27, he had a breakdown of sorts. He came to live with me and my husband (his step father). It has been a rocky few years, but he is finally on the road to recovery. I was to the point that I was going to do the very thing you are about to do and I guess he realized that cause he began to turn around and has made wonderful improvements in the last two years. I know it will be hard for you to do this, but you have to be strong and realize that it is for his own good, and realize also that it was HE that got himself into this mess,not you, so don't beat yourself up over this. I truly feel you are doing the right thing. Stay strong, You are in my prayers.

Darly 2009-09-13 09:41:27 -0500 Report

Thank you Donna! I am sorry to hear about your son,I hope he continues to get better. I know that he has gone to oxy's,sniffing them,whatever else,I do not know. Even when I had evidence right in front of him he still denied it! He is laying here on the couch,sleeping. He looks so cute and innocent, it is heartbreaking.


P2putt 2009-09-14 10:29:06 -0500 Report

Darly, you received good advice. You don't just dump him out on the street. Like you were told you continue to be supportive ,loving and encouraring. You might want to check into wheather there are any support groups for parents, similiar to Alanon. Such would be a great benefit as it will allow you to be with others who share the same stuuggle,like DC. I do wish you, you son and your family all the best. May the Lord Bless all of you. Pete

Harlen 2009-09-13 04:52:11 -0500 Report

You have my prayers and best wishes
We love our kids no matter what and stick by them as you are doing keep up the good work we all know how hared it can be we are here for you

Judimar 2009-09-13 00:54:43 -0500 Report

Hi Darlene,

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family.

Yes, he may say some awful things to you to hurt you, but you know in your heart that you are doing this out of love and concern for him. You love HIM not the thing he does when he's being controlled by the drugs and addiction.

You have nothing to apologize for. This is the place for this… it affects your health and sense of well being for you and your family.

Stay strong!



dyanne 2009-09-12 22:23:48 -0500 Report

I very much understand what you are going through. I can understand the fear you have when ever he walks out the door, it"s terrible. I will pray for all of you and know that u can talk to me anytime. My heart truly goes out to you but I believe u are doing the right thing to safe his life. He will see that one day as I'am sure he is a good person he just has a problem. I wish you so much luck , please let me know how you make out.
Hugs and prayers

redwingluver9398 2009-09-12 21:39:56 -0500 Report

I'm so sorry for the pain you are going through, you are in my prayers, as is your son. God be with you during your stress…If you need to talk, please feel free to email me!

sdboy777 2009-09-12 21:26:26 -0500 Report

I saw your post and it will be a privlage to pray for you and your son. The power of prayer is amazing and does great things. It's critical to do what is necessary with what power you do have to both keep your own self and finances and such protected and safe, and to do you can to help him as well. And although as hard as it is, know you are doing what is right by doing what you can to get him help. God bless you and keep praying and do all you can as well. I will pray as well.

Jipwhip 2009-09-12 20:53:57 -0500 Report

Darly I am praying for you and your family. Don't feel bad about posting this either. This is something that is bothering you and it is important to get it off your chest. Hopefully the tough love approach will work on your son. Just know you are doing it for him to get better.

maryb63 2009-09-12 21:23:31 -0500 Report

i am so sry my friends son is going through same thing and she is a wreck lots of prayers for u and your son