Ever been accused of using your diabetes to get over?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2018-10-18 15:37:39 -0500
Started 2018-09-19 08:21:10 -0500

Have you ever been accused of having an entitled attitude, using your diabetes to get excused from doing something that, at least in the mind of the person you are asking for help, is something you could do for yourself? Or to get extra attention or sympathy? Or, worse yet, been accused of using your diabetes to manipulate someone?

You have times when your diabetes leaves you not feeling at your best. In these times, you have had a legitimate need for assistance, or to take a break. Was that understood?

One of the most hurtful things that can be said to someone with a chronic condition is that they are acting entitled. Diabetes certainly wasn’t on your wish list.

I wrote an article on this topic recently. Here’s a link:


So has this happened to you?

And if so, how do you handle those times when other people accuse of using your diabetes as an excuse for acting entitled?

14 replies

Stuart1966 2018-10-18 15:37:39 -0500 Report

Never had that experience I'm afraid. Never been accused to my face at least. Behind my back probably, but never to my face.

I try and avoid feeding stupidity, what others believe they believe…

Sagitarian66 2018-10-13 19:51:03 -0500 Report

10/13/2018, I don't think that I've ever been accused by someone making a comment as an excuse. On the other hand I personally have used it as an excuse but ONLY! when I don't feel well especially when my glucose levels are high associated with blurriness and fatigue.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2018-10-02 16:11:17 -0500 Report

With the sheer number of people with either diabetes or pre diabetes ..I.doubt there are more than but a few people walking around without at least one ( probably more) loved ones affected..so anyone who would accuse someone of " trying to get over" is probably just mean spirited..and someone we should just smile at and offer prayers for.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-10-04 08:37:16 -0500 Report

Hey Jibber Jabber, nice to see you. Yes, very good point. And having compassion is a great way to react. Thanks for checking in!

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2018-10-01 12:57:21 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary,

I have never used my diabetes to get over. If I don't want to do something, I say no. If I don't want to eat something, I say no. Getting over never accomplishes anything.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-10-04 08:28:59 -0500 Report

HI Joyce, I certainly wouldn't assume you would use your diabetes to get over. My point here is that, out of ignorance or just plain mean spiritedness, other people can unfairly jump to this conclusion.

Teer2008 2018-10-01 12:24:53 -0500 Report

Yes, but only because the others in my home are as overwhelmed as I am with our living situation. (19-year-old working, special needs child, separated and their father has next to no contact with the kids per his choice and being dependent on child support, on top of anemia and depression) I know it's been thrown at me pretty much only when they are overwhelmed also.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-10-04 08:34:13 -0500 Report

Hi Teer 2008, nice to meet you! And thanks for checking in. This is really important and insightful comment. When one person has a medical diagnosis, everyone in the household is impacted by their diagnosis. I can understand the challenges you and your family members are facing. It has been my experience that chronic conditions can leave us feeling overwhelmed, and that can in turn lead to feelings of helplessness. All this is going on and how can I stop it? When we feel that way, it is only human to do some blaming. It's all about fear and frustration. But it sounds like you understand where these accusations are coming from. I always encourage family members to be compassionate toward each other. We're all in this together. Thanks again for checking in. I hope you will stay in touch with us.

Teew 2018-10-04 21:52:35 -0500 Report

For some reason I haven't been able to get back into the teer2008 account and I had to make a new one. (I hit the forgot password now for two days and I've not gotten a single email. I had to make a new account here and use an alternate email address.) And yeah, I'm mom, they know I'll love them no matter what so I'm the "safe" one to vent to or sometimes at. Today has been especially rough as I've been frustrated trying to get the recipes I had on here that I'd planned for the week, one kiddo having a crisis and shutting down, and everyone feeling the strain of it. Thankfully I've learned enough about diabetes that grabbing a quick snack or making a quick meal isn't as hard as it was (label reading, carb counting, etc). Today though the idea of keeping up with my sugar, logging what I ate, and trying to keep it together just didn't happen. It was a piece of leftover cake for breakfast cause we're winging it kinda day.

Chopstix 2018-09-23 12:05:59 -0500 Report

If I'm not in the mood to do anything other than what I'm doing I don't need to give a reason as to why other than "I said so." If they persist I just sit or stand there not saying a word while looking them straight in the eye. They usually quickly get the idea and move on.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-10-04 08:35:49 -0500 Report

Hey Chopstix, thanks for checking in. I think that's a good approach. You didn't choose this, you're just doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. No need to make excuses for yourself or apologize. As the saying goes, it is what it is. Thanks again for sharing this!

msann 2018-09-19 10:12:06 -0500 Report

yes i know the feeling when you dont feel good but unfortunately i still have to cook for hubby caregiver for my mom and aunt when iwas working i still did my job no i dont use it just not me

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-09-22 20:19:46 -0500 Report

Hi msann, sounds like you push yourself, no matter what. I hope you take time for yourself when you need it. Thanks for checking in.

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