Back On the Dating Scene

Gabby
By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2018-08-29 21:28:59 -0500
Started 2018-07-31 17:31:05 -0500

Ok, I have not dated since I was diagnosed and I have not dated for over 20 years. I have been open with saying I am diabetic, but most don't really understand what that means.
For all you experienced ones out there.
How soon do you disclose your diabetes and how detailed do you get?
I can take my insulin without them knowing because I take it just twice a day. I can choose foods that are easy, without explanation.

What advice do you have for this old gal?


12 replies

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2018-08-03 12:13:49 -0500 Report

Hello Gabby:
Old… not quite Gabby… try again.

With TIME we eventually share with others we trust and love. Some, some things we never share even with them. To me diabetes is one of those things you don't share immediately.

"…Hi Im a Type 1 DIABETIC, oh… and I forgot to tell you my name is Stuart…"

In the same way we discover their problems, their issues, fears, we reveal ours. Typically, I don't mention the "big stuff" until I learned to trust them first. If it comes up, if it comes time to share meaningful things, by all means do.

Myself, I usually waited a while (sometimes never) before I exchanged that level. But, if you wish feel free…

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2018-08-03 10:05:37 -0500 Report

I had been diabetic for 4 years when I met my second husband in 1980. I told him right off the bat that I had diabetes. IMO, you'll want to know if anyone has issues dealing with diabetes before investing too much time and emotion in the relationship. He's been a gem and saved my life more than once, He learned to inject glucagon and ID when I was going low, especially before I started using an insulin pump in 2011. (No serious low episodes since pumping which has to be a relief to him!)

MrsCDogg
MrsCDogg 2018-08-02 13:48:30 -0500 Report

When I was dating, I told them right away. Usually on the first date.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2018-08-02 18:00:38 -0500 Report

Wow, that is gutsy, but I suppose I don't need to waste their time if they are going to judge me about it. If it's a deal breaker for them, then perhaps I should dump it out there and see what happens.

BB42
BB42 2018-08-02 06:31:10 -0500 Report

Wow, you bring back so many memories. My late wife passed over 40 years ago and I still shudder at the early attempts at dating. Not a strength of mine. I did not have diabetes then but I believe I would have handled it the same way I do now. Be direct when the situation calls for it. A number of my close friends have Type 1 and they never try to hide it. I have Type 2 and those I care about know and don't seem to have a problem with it. I am sure, from your posts, that your many very positive qualities will mean more than your Type 1. Go get 'em

Gabby
GabbyPA 2018-08-02 17:59:33 -0500 Report

It was kind of a spontaneous thing. I just miss the companionship. I don't need anyone to marry, but just to be close with. I have always been more comfortable with the guys. It's an element that I miss.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-08-01 16:50:00 -0500 Report

HI Gabby! Glad to hear you are getting out there in the world. This question comes up a lot with my clients. I always encourage them to follow their own instincts when it comes to dating situations. Is this a person you think you might have some potential to get closer to? Do you trust this person to not judge you or to pull back once they know? Is he/she beginning to disclose about themselves? And I also remind my clients that being open about your self can help you and the person you are dating to get to know each other on a deeper level. But then... I also remind them that we can't control how other people think and feel, people can surprise us, for better or for worse. But either way, you are still the same fantastic person you always were, no one can diminish that. Having said that, I also encourage my clients to have a strong support network, good friends never let us down.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2018-08-02 17:58:11 -0500 Report

Yeah, it is just a part of me. But at my age, it's a part that kind of can be a deal breaker, specially if the person i am getting to know doesn't have any thing they are dealing with.
I met one who has not batted an eye. It is encouraging, but it also shows me he may not really know what all of that means. Not so much now, but as we grow older.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-08-29 21:28:59 -0500 Report

Hi Gabby, I do understand what you mean here. We live in the real world. But life is also uncertain for all of us, hopefully anyone concerned about the future would also recognize. We take life day by day.

msann
msann 2018-08-01 10:15:34 -0500 Report

wow i really dont know because hate you be out and you got a low i think you just better be honest from the jump good luck

haoleboy
haoleboy 2018-08-01 07:27:03 -0500 Report

Hell, Gabby … I'm just trying to figure out how to date ;)
good luck out there.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2018-08-01 16:36:44 -0500 Report

Maybe we can share tips and tricks. LOL
Had my first face to face last night. It was nice. We will be good friends, but nothing more. I'm good with that actually. What got us talking is that he hiked the whole Appalachian Trail back in 1999. Wow, that was a lot of good story telling. But it was a good ice breaker. I didn't talk about my diabetes with him. However, we did share a couple of beers. Learning from you my friend.

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