Quick Poll: Has your partner met your doctor? And if so, was it helpful?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2018-03-03 19:45:40 -0600
Started 2018-01-30 16:40:03 -0600

What about you and your partner? Are you always in sync on the what and the why and the how of your treatment regimen? And if not, does that sometimes result in miscommunication, along with frustration?

If so, have you ever thought of sitting down together and having a chat with your doctor? There are a lot of benefits to the three of you having a meeting together. For one thing, as Sally suggested, you would both have the same information. That means that, if you’re living with this condition, you don’t have to try and translate medical information. Your partner would get it straight from the doctor. Also, your physician has a unique perspective on what it takes to live with your diagnosis. He/she could explain how your condition and its treatment impacts you not only physically but emotionally. And the three of you could talk about how you and your partner can work together in a way that both of your needs are recognized and accommodated.

After all, when one member of the home is living with a chronic condition, everybody is living with it.

I wrote an article on this topic awhile back. Here’s a link:


I’m really interested in knowing if you and your partner have met with your doctor. If so, who’s idea was it? And was it helpful?

And if not, would you like your partner to sit down with you and your doctor. Why? And if not, why not?

Looking forward to hearing from you on this one.


19 replies

goodlittlecat 2018-02-25 10:05:52 -0600 Report

No, he is not supportive at all. He say by me being overweight and me eating junk food caused my diabetes and he will continue eating what he wants and have it in the house

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-03-03 19:45:40 -0600 Report

Hi goodlittlecat, it's really great to meet you. Glad you are part of our community! I am sorry that your husband is so unsupportive, and even critical. I know that must be hard on you. I hope you art taking good care of yourself, being kind to yourself and not falling into self-blame. You are not alone here, so I hope you will stay in touch with us.

GabbyPA 2018-02-06 11:06:17 -0600 Report

I took my husband with me to give me some moral support. Having him there helped me not back out on my concerns. It's funny how I will fight for someone I am advocating for, but for myself, sometimes I cave to the feeling they have no time for me and all of my questions.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-02-07 18:45:25 -0600 Report

Hey Gabby! I think moral support is a great reason to go together to a doctor's appointment. Interesting comment, I think humans are often guilty of advocating more for a loved one than for themselves. Another great reason to buddy up for doctor's appointments. Thanks for sharing this!

cmr55 2018-02-04 18:08:16 -0600 Report

Hi Dr Gary my husband has been on my journey with diabetes going with me to my Dr Appointments etc. At one time I had a Dr who really did not listen to what I was going through with diabetes. So I change to my husbands Dr Which in the end resulted me getting a referral to an Endo. I have now been off insulin for 4 years. My husband is very supportive and when he is with me at a Dr appointment he will some times tell my doctor what I forgot that has been going on with me. Which is really a plus at times. I also go to my husbands appointment and support him.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-02-07 18:41:57 -0600 Report

Hey cmr55, thanks so much for jumping in here and sharing your story. Sounds like you are teaming up at your doctor's appointments on a regular basis. That's great. As you said, you can make sure anything that needs to be reported is indeed reported. I can't think of a better reason to accompany each other.

msann 2018-02-01 12:33:31 -0600 Report

both of us have same primary doctor and diabetic educator she is really a great help to both of us he 69 i am 67

Type1Lou 2018-01-31 13:15:45 -0600 Report

Hubby and I have the same PCP but neither of us has accompanied the other to the MD visits. At 75 yrs old, I'm blessed that my husband has no major health issues. My husband hasn't met my endo but, even after 41 years, my diabetes control is still considered good.

BB42 2018-01-31 08:32:11 -0600 Report

Yes, she did and it was extremely helpful.She also met with my diabetes counselor and participated in classes so she understand the disease, what I had to do and how she could be supportive.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-01-31 18:08:26 -0600 Report

Hi BB42, that's excellent. It's so important for family members to get involved. They're affected too, and it's a lot easier for both of you if you're on the same page, starting with diet. Getting educated together is a great foundation. Teamwork!

MrsCDogg 2018-01-30 20:41:41 -0600 Report

My husband and I both see the same primary care doctor. If we both go at the same time the doctor will see us together. It's a big help.

suecsdy 2018-01-30 17:34:14 -0600 Report

Since I'm a widow now, that isn't an option for me, but if it's something new, like the EMG and nerve conduction study, I'll ask a friend or one of my daughters to come with me. I want an extra pair of ears in case I misinterpret what the Dr tells me or if my brain checks out after they give me the dx. Also, they might think of questions that I don't. When I had the first MRI on my back, I was misdiagnosed with a cancerous cyst on my spine. I was really frightened and asked my daughter to come with me to see the neurosurgeon. It turned out to NOT be a cancer, but I was still glad for the support. I've also been able to be the support for a friend when the situation has been reversed. We need to help each other this way.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-01-31 18:05:46 -0600 Report

Hey suecsdy, nice to see you. That's a great idea to bring someone along. A second set of ears is a great idea. It's so easy to get caught up forming your next question and miss something, so backup helps. And a little support is nice too. Wow, that must have been scary to have that misdiagnosis, a good idea to have your daughter with you for support, especially if it hadn't turned into good news. And friends and family often want to help in some way, they may be just waiting to be asked.

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