Do You Do the "All or Nothing" Mind Game?

Gabby
By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2018-01-11 21:46:51 -0600
Started 2018-01-06 06:47:15 -0600

Once again, Adam Brown really makes a great point. In his book Bright Spots and Landmines (which I finally ordered as a Christmas present for myself) he talks about how often since we don't have time to do something the way we wanted, we skip it all together. https://diatribe.org/dangerous-all-or-nothing...

With New Year's resolutions on my mind, his article can come in handy. If I run out of time to take my 30 minute walk, at least fit in a 5 minute one. If I can't get a whole meal together that I would like to do, don't wimp out and make a fast food run.

Basically, he is saying to do something instead of excuse yourself into doing nothing. Many little steps will get us much farther than no steps at all.

What are some ways that you practice this concept in your daily management?


9 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2018-01-11 21:46:51 -0600 Report

Gabby, I wish the insurance company paid me a 2 dollar bonus every time I talk to a client about all or nothing thinking. I probably have that conversation about every day. I think it's an interesting aspect of human psychology that we tend to go to those extremes. What I sometimes point out to clients is that all or nothing thinking gives an excuse to do whatever we want, or to do nothing, as you said so well. Baby steps! I will have to take a look at this book.

baboowen
baboowen 2018-01-11 02:47:16 -0600 Report

Hi ! I like your advice and I totally agree! I have allot of problems eating daily! I have learned that eating a little is better then not eating at all! I am taking baby steps! and I found this to be very helpful toward becoming healthier and learning to try to maintain my sugar levels! tyvm for this post!

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2018-01-07 08:46:28 -0600 Report

After 41 years with Type 1, I've learned that every day is a new day with new opportunities. Some days yield great results and others, not so good…it's the nature of my diabetes to not be totally predictable. I strive for the best control I can based on what's happening NOW. I still test my BG 8x/day, follow a relatively low-carb diet that works for me, and I have a regular exercise routine that helps, but also presents its own challenges. I'm paraphrasing but someone once said that success lies not in never falling but in picking oneself up every time one falls.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2018-01-06 19:45:25 -0600 Report

Gabby, I have not made a New Year's resolution in 30 years. It is way too much fun watching my friends grumble because they have not stuck to a resolution in the 30 yrs since I stopped.

The only things on a regular schedule in my life other than medication, appointments and meetings. Everything else is up for grabs.

I don't even plan meals. It is what I take out of the freezer and thaw. Sides are up for grabs. I don't plan on walking until the temperature is above my age so my next walk around the block won't be until Spring. Am I worried about that? Not at all.

Here is a prime example. On New Year's Day, We planned to grill a pork roast. It was 15 degrees outside but the heat from the grill would have provided warmth. I also planned boiled baby potatoes and green beans. We had the pork grilling and the baby potatoes was on the stove when a neighbor knocked on the door. She looked out of sorts. I asked what was wrong. She wanted a cigarette. This woman speaks and talks to the neighbors and never ask for a thing. She said they got word that her 16 yr old nephew got shot and was possibly dead. His father was on the way to the scene with his daughter and the mom was on her way from work. They had no idea what hospital he was taken to. I contacted one of the Deputy Police Commissioners who told me.

Needless to say, I forgot the pork was on the grill but when i did it was done and still juicy. I scorched the potatoes and ate then remembered the green beans were still in the fridge.

Not one of us can tell when something big or small will throw a wrench into something we are doing. The key is to improvise when necessary and roll with the punch.

Excuses are like a nose, everyone has one. Don't make useless excuses and improvise. So you didn't get to fix the dinner you planned. you found something else to eat even if it was a sandwich and soup. So what if the dress you wanted was not in your size, you found another one that you liked and bought it.

Plans can fall through so if you don't do it all, do something. Beats failing and not accomplishing anything.

haoleboy
haoleboy 2018-01-06 17:08:59 -0600 Report

yeah … something I dealt with after my stroke.
I wanted to be normal again NOW!!!
5 years later I'm still working on that, one tiny step at a time, and I've learned to accept that there will be occasions when it is two giant steps backward.
dealing with multiple chronic conditions has taught me so very much … perhaps the greatest lessons have been patience and focus
_
seldom (if ever) do we get a chance for a "do over"
but every single day we get a chance for a "do better"
☺ Steve

goso
goso 2018-01-06 09:41:19 -0600 Report

Hi Gabby I hope you got my post , I did order the book and am well aware that I have some life changing things to do. I am lucky that I have been fairly decent shape but fall victim to this very cold weather and find reasons to get lazy. My problems is JUNK food and when I do manage to regulate OR remove it from my diet that is my goal. Coming from an Italian family we like our foods and deserts. Fortunately I have no real attraction to alcohol I was having some wine with dinner or an occasional beer but have been made aware that with all the awareness the "alcohol" completely removes all the healthy eating I was actively working on.

BB42
BB42 2018-01-06 09:30:26 -0600 Report

First, a Happy and Healthy 2018 to you and thank you for these interesting discussions. One of my resolutions is to try and not play the "All or Nothing Mind Game" I live in central NY where the winters are long and hard. Still, I used to bicycle over 500 miles each summer. As I became older, I was not able to ride as fast or as long as I used to so I just stopped cycling. Same with exercise only now, I do as much as I can realizing some is better than none. Concerning my Type 2, I often become frustrated with working so hard yet my BG numbers and not what they were when 2 years ago. I have to remind myself that my numbers are still good and that letting my frustration get the best of me would mean poor health

goso
goso 2018-01-06 09:27:22 -0600 Report

OK Just ordered it, I'm a great excuse maker and one for postponing or forgetting. I went to a diabetes awareness clinic at my Local V.A and faced some facts. I started using my nordic trac skier "that was in moth balls for about a year" and last week and know that it is making a difference because I can feel it on my waistline . and yesterday I was introduced on how to read the nutrition labeling. I am lad to see that many of the thing I do like are included in healthy living but in a lesser quantity. My biggest issue is JUNK food that's my stumbling block and I'll have to super aware. Funny you mention fast food , When I take my grand kids out individually they want a meal at Macky D s'I have a plain cheese burger and a diet soda and finally cave for the cinnamon apple pie Ha ! well the rest is on me . I was writing down the foods that i consume but I would like to get away from that and just develop the correct meals and when I think I feel hungry try a glass of water.This is going to be an absolute life altering thing and no backing out.

msann
msann 2018-01-06 09:07:49 -0600 Report

yep i try to stay on some what of schedule with my eating but when i have to go do caregiving for my mom and aunt i get messed up and they run my stress level through the roof so i try to stay clam but dealing with 90 old and 86 is rough and i try to get to gym 6 days aweek and pray a lot

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