My husband was diagnosed with Type 1 in September. Since being diagnosed he is weird at least 5 nights out of the week. He becomes a mix between Captain Jack Sparrow and Michael Scott from The Office, and smells of ketones. Sometimes he will become randomly depressed and mention something about dying. He has said that he doesn't want to hurt himself, but wants to just die in a car accident or something.
For the first couple months I was understanding and did everything I could. I checked his levels using the finger prick while he was asleep, or too weird to do it himself. I would bring him up to bed so my son wouldn't find him on the couch - all the while being slammed into walls because he couldn't walk straight. I would make sure he took his 24 hour insulin at night, helping him stand still why he took it. He has an endo, a very helpful GP, therapist, psychiatrist, nutritionist, we have a marriage therapist, he even has a chiropractor. His parents live a few states away, but they are always researching, sending helpful information, and gave he the book Think Like a Pancreas.
It's now been 5 months, and I can't stand it anymore. I leave him on the couch because it's just not worth someone getting hurt going up the stairs. His weepy attitude is so annoying. When he gets weird he is like another child I have to care for, and he keep accidently hurting me! The other night I was sitting on a step, talking to my son, and he came over and just randomly stumbled - slamming his elbow into the top of my head. He snores and kicks in his sleep.
I would be more supportive and understanding if he put in half of the effort I do. It took getting his parents involved to get him to eat when he should. And I tell him repeatedly that 80s are too low for him - but he keeps acting like 80 is good and doesn't eat!
Last night was a perfect example. He has the day off from work, I was at work all day, and my son didn't get him from school until 3:00. I got a text from my husband saying he would make dinner at 4:30. At 5:20 I get a call from my son - he is home from his friend's house, all of the lights are out in our house, and Dad is passed out on the couch. I told him he needed to wake up Dad. My son was barely able to wake him, found his monitor, and told me it was at 47. My husband has had the Dexcom CGM - and yes it's working. My 9 year old son, terrified, had to feed him to bring him back to life. If my husband has a CGM that tells him his number AND if he is on the way up or down AND at what pace his levels are raising or dropping - HOW did this happen within 50 minutes? This keeps happening! He's fine if someone is with all day, babying him (he seems to enjoy the attention - even in the ER) But when left alone he doesn't take care of himself!
It's such a strange feeling… I love my husband - but also hate him for being the person hurting, and taking my husband away from me. I can't imagine spending my life watching him destroy himself.
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