Are You a Team or an Island?

Gabby
By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2017-11-09 12:28:37 -0600
Started 2017-11-04 13:55:40 -0500

There is no right or wrong, I guess. Just a difference in how we approach our own management of our diabetes,

In Adam Brown's book, "Bright Spots and Land Mines" the topic of family and loved ones support came up. He got an interesting opposing thought and it triggered a whole thought process for myself.

https://diatribe.org/should-i-rely-loved-ones...

“Adam, I agree with everything you share in Bright Spots & Landmines except one thing: relying on loved ones for diabetes support. I don’t ever do this – it’s MY diabetes and MY burden to bear.”

That is the statement of an "Island" way of thinking. I feel this way sometimes and it helps me get through the ease of an excuse that "no one is supporting me, thus my failure to choose well and do the right things."

"One of my major mindset Bright Spots comes from loved ones, family, and friends: they lift my motivation when I feel deflated, help me make better food choices and avoid unhelpful options, provide a sounding board to vent frustrations, exercise with me, and even gently nudge me to relax (“Adam, it’s just a number; don’t be frustrated. I still love you”)."

This is the "Team" way of thinking and I exercise this one more than the prior. This helps me with accountability and keeps me on track much better.

So it seems I employ both of these ways. While it is my responsibility to take care to do the best I can do for myself. It is nice to have those I love show empathy and offer me help, even if a little misguided. At least it lets me know they care.

Do you use both of these or are you more one than the other?


6 replies

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2017-11-09 12:28:37 -0600 Report

An island… never otherwise. Never had a “team”, heard about them, read about them, but never had one though.

Happy to have visitors should they wish to visit, or assist. I’m easy

msann
msann 2017-11-07 10:30:18 -0600 Report

i guess we are Team Jones me and hubby we have to take care of each other because we both are diabetics he walk 8 miles a day i go to the gym and walk some so we Team Jones

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2017-11-05 15:40:50 -0600 Report

I am am an Island. It is MY disease, not my friends or family. I am the one responsible for eating properly and taking my medications and doing what I need to do to be as healthy as possible.

If find that if you are the kind of person who needs support, several things can happen such as:

-Depending on how needy you are, your family and friends can cause you to become co-dependent
-Over time they are going to get tired of constantly having to be there for you
-More importantly, if you are an adult of sound mind, learn to be responsible for yourself. In other words Grow Up.
-What are you going to do if your support leaves, dies or simply no longer care to help you?
Learn to take care of yourself and you won't need someone to support you in everything you do.

suecsdy
suecsdy 2017-11-05 12:07:32 -0600 Report

Since I live alone, I guess I'm an island. The responsibility for the care and feeding of me, is mine. My family does respect my dx and support my choices, but they're not here all the time. I recently made a new friend in my neighborhood who was dxd diabetic earlier this year. She actually looks to me for advice and I do try to help her, but it's strange sometimes because I know I'm not as strict as I should be. It does help me though too, because I want to be a good example for her.

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2017-11-05 08:39:56 -0600 Report

Can I be a peninsula? I do firmly believe that diabetes is MY burden and I must find the strength and knowledge to deal with it as best as I can…so I am mostly an "island"…but I have also been blessed with wonderful family and friends who support me along with a great endo…so, there's a bit of teamwork at play in my life as well.