Hmmm to be Offended or Not Offended, That is the Question

Gabby
By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2017-11-12 11:36:46 -0600
Started 2017-10-30 09:50:05 -0500

I don't watch Jimmy Kimmel nor do I tweet, so I totally missed this mishap until today when I read the story on it. https://asweetlife.org/dont-waste-your-passio...

In short, as many of us do, he said something less than sensitive, though not totally crazy, Just a joke, and wow, the diabetes community lit him on fire.

Here is what he said in response to getting a box of baked goods: "Thank you for the cookies @KellyRipa, You are sweeter than diabetes"
Maybe not the best choice, but he is night time comedy. He makes his living by digging on all kinds of subjects. We laugh at political jokes or celebrity digs that are far more "hurtful". So what is up with this?

When people with diabetes react so harshly at simple things like this, but don't focus our passion on things that matter and we can advocate for, are we getting petty? What kind of light does it shine on us when we act like jerks? If a diabetic had said this, it would have been funny.

So often we struggle to make people aware of diabetes. In this case it could have been a teachable moment versus a kill Kimmel moment. Perhaps there was a private joke in there? Perhaps he knows someone with diabetes and thought nothing of it because they don't fret little comments like that? Perhaps he just choose poorly, but really, who doesn't from time to time?

I personally believe we have all gotten so politically correct that we cannot even laugh at ourselves. We tread on eggshells and so the myths and mystery continue because we are afraid to just laugh and make it part of life.

Do things like this offend you? What do people do that offends your diabetic self? How do you deal with it?


23 replies

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2017-11-01 22:25:50 -0500 Report

Gabby, I hadn't heard about this, but I totally agree with you. I think that as a country we are all waiting for our turn to be offended. To me, it is falling into a victim mentality. We have in so many ways lost our sense of humor. There is a difference between making a simple play on words and intentionally slagging an individual or a group of people. Walking on eggshells is right. This could have been handled by making a joke in return.

reddman1
reddman1 2017-11-12 11:36:46 -0600 Report

Can you help me. Brand new to this nightmare. What are all the numbers for?
A1; GLUCOSE ETC.I just need a primer. It is all so confusing. I am a pre or real diabetic per Doctor. An architect with worsening problems but the website and the jargon confuse me . am I on the wrong website? This id horrible and I cant get started on basic info. Any help will be appreciated. Semi retired architect, my doctor of 22 years seems as in the dark as I am!!??Thanks for any simple directives you can provide or instructions where I should look. I agree with your comments on victim mentality. Kimmel comment seemed innocent to me. I REALLY need help as I am not the best on the computer. Thanks for any help.

Kalisiin
Kalisiin 2017-10-31 21:30:52 -0500 Report

Well, speaking as a transgender woman…if I took offense at every thoughtless, tasteless joke, I'd spend a life doing nothing but getting offended.

I'm not particularly offended here. Hell, i laughed when a classmate said to me, at my ten-year reunion…that I had really big…well, I don't have to actually SAY it for you to get the picture, do I??

The point is, I could have gotten offended…or laugh. I chose to laugh.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2017-11-01 14:11:22 -0500 Report

Put your first comment on a banner and we can hang it all over this country. People these days are way too sensitive. As an African American, I face more racist statements and jokes than I can count. Like you if I got offended over every thing that comes out of people's mouths, I would be spending my life being mad and offended.

There are people who say thoughtless things. I think just about every adult has done that. However, there is a difference between making a thoughtless comment many end up saying' "I can't believe I said that" The other difference is someone making a deliberate comment that is said to cause another person pain.

Laughter is at times always the best medicine.

Kalisiin
Kalisiin 2017-11-04 21:24:17 -0500 Report

The important thing, I have learned…over a long time and with much pain…is that you cannot allow others to define you.

If you allow others tasteless and thoughtless crap define you…then you already lost.

I learned this over the whole HB-2 debacle here in North Carolina, when they decided to not worry about the REAL problems facing this state, and decided instead to bother themselves about what frigging bathroom I use!!

I said from hump street that I could care less…as long as what was on the other side of the door was comfortable, clean, private, and above all, safe for me to enter and to exit.

Could care LESS what the sign outside the door says, since that sign don't define me. I DEFINE ME…and nobody else gets to! Not our Governor, not our legislature, not NOBODY!!

And in that time I also said…I carry my birth certificate in case I need it…but annyone asking to look at it had better be ready to produce a warrant! And they could haul me downtown if they wanted to…I had the news media on speed dial, and I would have made the hugest horse's ass out of all of them.

Needless to say, I never got challenged…they knew better. I became a very vocal and public advocate and they knew who I was and the knew messing with me wasn't gonna end well.

I refuse to allow others to define me, and I refuse to participate in my own dehumanization. As an African-American yourself, I think you know a lot of what I am talking about here, Joyce.

Pegsy
Pegsy 2017-10-31 17:20:02 -0500 Report

I think most humor is offensive…to someone. That just seems to be the nature of it.

BB42
BB42 2017-10-31 09:15:31 -0500 Report

There are too may things going on in today's world that really upset me. His comment is insensitive but it doesn't bother me as much as when I am at a restaurant and am offered a side potatoes. I decline stating the I am diabetic and then I am offered pasta and am then told "but, they are gluten free"

Pegsy
Pegsy 2017-10-31 17:17:22 -0500 Report

I get that "gluten free" suggestion all the time. They just don't get it.

Kalisiin
Kalisiin 2017-10-31 21:32:09 -0500 Report

OMG, if I had a NICKEL for every time I have had to tell someone that gluten-free does NOT necessarily mean "good for diabetics" I would be a millionaire!!

Me, I simply choose, on those occasions where I eat out…to eat at familiar locations, that are aware of my dietary restrictions, and who respect them.

Fr example, when I go to my local Steak and Shake…
They know, I do NOT have to tell them, no bun on my burger, all condiments on the side. I do NOT get charged extra for substituing a side salad fir the fries, like everyone else. I do NOT have to tell them, salad dressing on the side, and no croutons on the salad.

They know. Now, I have an advantage here, in that I am easy to remember, since transgender people are a comparatively small segment of the population, and everyone there IS aware I am a diabetic…and many of them remember the over-300-pound me.

Still…if you go to any restaurant where they do NOT "get it" you need to vote with your dollars and not patronize that restaurant. Very simple, really.

Make sure that before you walk out for the last time that you tell a manager why you are leaving and why you will not be back. And don't let them give you free stuff to bribe you to come back.

This is usually the best form of "education." Money is all they understand.

Chris Clement
Chris Clement 2017-10-30 23:48:07 -0500 Report

My opinion: I do get upset about many of the jokes. I do find them insensitive, for two reasons.
1- Diabetes jokes about sugary foods and diabetes reinforce the common misconception that donuts are causing type 1 diabetes, when the reality is that type 1 is an autoimmune disease that has nothing to do with food.
2- These jokes reinforce the common misconception, already prevalent in the media, that people with type 2 diabetes got it because they eat junk food. The stigma attached to type 2 is harmful to people who have it.

I can take a good, tasteful joke from someone who has walked in my shoes. But, most of the diabetes jokes i hear are far from that.

I was more upset when Seth Meyers made a similar but (IMO) worse joke about a Starbucks shake being a cup of diabetes. That one had me fuming because it spreads misinfo.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2017-11-04 13:29:16 -0500 Report

For me, there is a difference between something that is insensitive and something that is offensive. If someone is insensitive, there is the ability to be taught and help them see the error. To be offensive, there is usually not that opportunity. The difference between poor choice and purposefully hurting someone is how I look at it.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2017-11-01 13:58:29 -0500 Report

Pasta Alfredo has been called "Heart Attack" on a plate for years and many people find that funny. In my opinion, it is simply a joke. I thought what Seth Meyers said was hilarious.

Jokes are in a sense not meant for spreading information it is humor. It is used to lighten peoples moods. If I got offended over every joke or what people said my life would totally suck.

I saw a woman in Wal-Mart with a T-Shirt that said " I run on Coffee and Insulin",The background was a cup of coffee sitting on a table. A customer stopped her and said I been type 1 all my life, love the shirt where did you get it.

You would have probably found that offensive. However, these two women found a coping mechanism that works for them.

As an African American, I have heard every kind of racist and non racist joke there is. If I got offended or mad because of everything that comes out of someone's life, I would never have time for the fun things. I love a good laugh.

Kalisiin
Kalisiin 2017-10-31 21:39:34 -0500 Report

I do not get offended. I take it as an opportunity to try to educate people about how diabetes actually works…and how it is the diabetes process ramping up in your system over years…that causes the obesity most Type 2's present with…and NOT the obesity that caused the diabetes.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2017-10-30 20:04:30 -0500 Report

I don't watch Jimmy Kimmel but he is hilarious. People need to lighten up. He didn't say anything offensive. People have been joking about heat attacks for years. I don't follow him on Twitter. I was busy watching the Twitter battle between tRump and Michael Moore. Michael Moore won the battle and that was hilarious.

Kalisiin
Kalisiin 2017-10-31 21:40:27 -0500 Report

Absolutely! Joyce, sommething we can totally agree on and I love that! Hope you have been well. I have been M.I.A. because of other demands on my time.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2017-11-01 14:01:05 -0500 Report

Hey stranger I wondered what happened to you. We may not have been on the best of terms but i did wonder what happened to you. I spent December recovering from Pancreatitis and Gall Bladder removal surgery and most of March with heart problems. Ended up getting a stent. None of that has slowed me down. Gotta Keep on Trucking.

Kalisiin
Kalisiin 2017-11-04 21:28:29 -0500 Report

I think we may have originally rubbed each other the wrong way. Hopefully, my extended absence has enabed both of us to try again, and see if we can't have a better unnderstanding ths time.

As to me…what have I been up to? Well, until recently, I was the first openly-trans candidate for state legislature in NC history.

My campaign has died before it began, though…as they gerrymandered me out of the District I planned to rn in…and into the District of a political ally they KNOW I will not run against.

So, I am busy planning other things. Soon, I will probaby tell you all more.

msann
msann 2017-10-30 14:09:10 -0500 Report

sorry didnt offend me i take responsibilty for ME can contro what anyone says about weight or how you look everyone please take care of yourself praying for all of us

haoleboy
haoleboy 2017-10-30 11:02:59 -0500 Report

much ado about nothing
don't understand those that are offended
comedy is art (IMO) and art can be "uncomfortable"
some of the best comedy routines, and other art forms are very uncomfortable

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