By phatgirl Latest Reply 2015-03-04 18:38:35 -0600
Started 2009-09-03 00:21:20 -0500

has anyone ever sat down and ate a WHOLE PIE? i did today!!! and i am so mad and disgusted with myself. why do i always turn to food? everytime i get down or sad i cant talk to my husband because he gets very angry. especially if i cry. i dont dare do that. or complain. it seems that food is one thing i depend on. and im ashamed of myself!! i have no one here to turn to . no one. is it worth it? i wonder alot of times..i go to bed feeling like a BIG FAT USELESS person! i think im getting tired of trying. only to fail yet again!!!

24 replies

Sopies Grandma
Sopies Grandma 2015-03-04 18:38:35 -0600 Report

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad about yourself right now. If you need to cry, then cry, if your hubby don't like it well too bad! you need to do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. geeeezzz men !

Sopies Grandma
Sopies Grandma 2015-03-04 18:35:22 -0600 Report

LOL you must be my twin..that totally sounds like something I would do. Don't beat yourself up. you did it, and now your back on the program. hang in there, and try not to be to hard on yourself. :)

Ginger68 2009-09-15 08:28:57 -0500 Report

your not alone, i just ate a piece of chocolate cake for breakfast. I feel sometimes i have to hide what i eat because my family would say to me, are u soppose to eat that, and i get so angry, i asked them for support, but that doesnt help me.

Colin Pye
Colin Pye 2009-09-10 12:48:02 -0500 Report

Oh yeah… been there, did that, got the (oversized) T-shirt.

It's past, it's history, there's nothing you can do about it now. The important thing is to remember how you feel now, the next time the temptation comes along. That, and some people like to throw pies too. They can be used for more than eating.

It's way too easy to fall back on food for comfort, after all, that's why they call it "comfort food" in the first place, But after the food is gone, you are still left with the same feelings, but don't have the food around to turn to. It's almost like you didn't go to the food in the first place, except now you get to feel bad about ithe food going away too.

I remember visiting my step-gramdmother, and what she would often say: "My, you are getting fat… here, have a cookie" She is no longer with us, but I regret not asking her why she thought a cookie would make me fell better about being told that I was getting fat!

For her, I guess it was easier to make something (or go buy it, then throw some flour around the kitchen so it looked like she had been baking) and hand it over than it was to give a hug, or show her affection in another way. That's likely how she was brought up, though, and all that can be done now is to learn from it.

I know a lot of people will think this is stupid, but when I'm feeling particularly bad about being heavy, especially if someone just made a negative comment about my weight, I will turn to them and say, "The Earth just loves me more than you!"

imsuzie2 2009-09-11 04:09:03 -0500 Report

Colin, I like that remark. Don't feel badly! When my father-in-law used to ask when we were gonna have kids, I would just say back "When you and ma show me how". He didn't like that too much. Hell, we had David when we were married 4 yrs. Is that too long to wait?

PG, Colin is right, the past is the past, so why not re-write you history? Wouldn't that be fun? Hugs all

startwynles58 2009-09-12 19:15:12 -0500 Report

Hey Colin,I too used to be called "fat" and some other unthoughtful things by grandparents and lots of other people. most of our grandparents are dead now, but were born in the early 1900's and it was still considered the Victorian Times. I was told that the people of that generation were taught not to hug and be openly affectionate because they thought it was naughty and it might sexually arouse the child or who ever they were touching. Neither of my sets of grandparents ever hugged or kissed me, but I knew by the way they treated me other wise that they did love me in some ways, and not others.

WendyDarling41 2009-09-15 02:37:47 -0500 Report

I understand you too…I do that. I eat when I'm stressed, depressed an board…sometimes it seems like a vicious circle an to top it off I have to take meds. for my transplant that make me gain weight…I have gained 240lbs in 20 yrs an now with diabetes…I just want to give up.

Jenay 2009-09-07 22:54:23 -0500 Report

i have done that one time in my life when i got to the weight of 198 at age 35 had a heart attack then had a real slap in the face with eat to live or live to eat,long walks bike riding and spending more time with my daughter who's 10. took the will to eat to live and turned it to the eat to live state of mind down to 145 and dropping and found out i am a type 2 diabetic now i really have to eat to live better then before things get hard and things get tough .but speaking up and talking have i found to be something we can all use in life even if its someone on the net you don't even know

Karenc2002 2009-09-07 22:11:40 -0500 Report

It sounds to me that you have had a life where you have always been put down and that you associate comfort food as a way to feel better. Trust me, I have been in the same boat. I was put down all my life and I turned to food. Now I suffer the consequences of being obese. Try to find you friends around you that are positive and try to ignore all of the negatives. I have a tendency to jump off my diet too. Just pick yourself back up and continue to march on. Just know that we are all here to give you support.

ellenl 2009-09-07 21:32:53 -0500 Report

i know how you feel and i have been there and my hubby use to get mad but i told him i have a problums and i cant do it a lone and you know what he said i aint mad at you i am mad at diabetes.and you know why becuse we warent educated on it so now my hubby trys to help me with everything talk to your hubby and win life throws rocks you throw bolders back get educated on it i only bin here a couple of days and i have been taken controll of my diabetes dont let it take controll of you .this sight has helped me a lot sorry to babble on but good luck

Bekki Diabetic
Bekki Diabetic 2009-09-07 08:46:32 -0500 Report

We all feel for you and are here if you need us. I do not have the sweet cravings but the carbs…on occasions, I have eaten until I felt like I was going to explode. Then wonder WHY did I do that? I haven't discovered the reason as of yet but I will. God has a purpose for each one of us, we just have to wait and figure it out. When you want to eat something, why not write to us here. There is always someone online willing to discuss anything. You have friends here. I am so sorry you have to experience your husband's verbal abuse but wouldn't it be a kicker if you could block him out the next time he says something to hurt you. I believe if he didn't get a rise out of you, he might start backing off. Maybe he doesn't mean to hurt you, could he be so insecure that he doesn't know how to handle what is going on? Our prayers will be with you. Keep in touch!

lisaw 2009-09-07 07:50:11 -0500 Report

I have done this several times. It seems as though I cant help myself, I know that I need to take care of myself and try to keep my sugars down but there are times that I just crave the wrong things until I get them and then I cant stop myself until I have eaten the whole thing. So I know how you feel because my husband is one of those men I do try to let it go over my head because I take care of him and me and I always tell myself that at least I dont smoke like he does, I quit 3 years ago . He has end stage emphysema and copd but he runs his mouth about my sugar and what I eat . I have to cook 2 meals every time I cook and yes sometimes I cheat like this and I dont care at that particular time I just regret it later. I do hope that you start to fell better soon.

Beaudonna 2009-09-05 09:10:44 -0500 Report

Been there , done that. Maybe we can all help each other. I try not to do that because of a bad eye problem I caused my self a couple of years ago when I ate a hole pumpkin pie and 2lbs of peanut better fudge over christmas week. Over the last ten years I have lost and gained and had ups and downs but I try never to give up. I do feel disgustd sometimes too, but I try to tell myself I am too important to give up on myself.

Anonymous 2009-09-05 13:32:07 -0500 Report

You absolutely are too important to give up on. I am no expert on this problem, but I sure know the self recrimination and self chastising do NOT help. The next time I am tempted to stuff myself I know I will be thinking of all who have posted at this site and who are with me in spirit trying to take better care of ourselves. (That last was not grammatical, but you know what I mean, right? LOL)

Anonymous 2009-09-03 22:14:36 -0500 Report

Have I ever eaten a whole pie? Yes, and a half gallon of ice cream, and a dozen donuts, and a package of lunch meat and a loaf of bread and a pizza ..often I have eaten and then vomited so I could eat some more. It ain't purty, but it is me at times. I've tried a lot of things to not eat and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. If I did with alcohol what I do with food I would be on Skid Row somewhere. But you know what? Life is still good and 'til the day I die I will still be trying to get better. I hope you keep trying, too.

John Crowley
John CrowleyCA 2009-09-03 12:32:58 -0500 Report

You are already taking a couple of important steps. First, turning here for support. Surround yourself (even if it's online) with people who can understand and validate what you're feeling is important.

The other thing you've already realized is that you're using food for something other than nutrition. You're using food for emotional reasons. You've got to change your relationship with food. There are some great books out there on this topic.




You may be able to find the books at your local library too.

Hang in there.

Tita 2009-09-03 12:24:54 -0500 Report

Oh, Sweetie! My heart breaks to hear that because I've been there and know just how hard it is. I've told my husband, a smoker, that it's easier to quit smoking than overeating because you can put cigarettes totally out of your life. We can't do that with food, we need food to live! Harlan makes a good point about not bringing those temptations into the house, but when you live with others who want those things it's more difficult. There are programs out there that can help you. Hang in there and lean on us when you need support.

Harlen 2009-09-03 09:46:21 -0500 Report

Boy do I know how you feal
I had to come to grips whith it and for me I sed if I dont bring it in the house its not there for me to eat . If it was there I would eat it big time.
So I dont get it and I dont eat it lol
funny how that works lol
Love your self like you wish to be loved
you are a grate woman. You are the only you there is,that makes you one of a kined.the next time you feal like eatting a whole pie sey no to the first pice and you just will not eat the whole thing and if you feal like you need to talk please drop me a line I check mail a lot I am there for you
best wishes

Judimar 2009-09-03 01:34:56 -0500 Report

All I can say is if anything is worth it, YOU are. You are God's precious gift to this world. There is only one you and you are special and beautiful.

I understand when you say you feel useless and disgusting… I've felt that way myself… but that is the depression talking. Don't let the negative energy pull you down. Okay you may have faltered but there is only one thing you can do and that is to pick yourself up and try again! Don't give up, hon… don't you EVER give up because you ARE worth it.

You have support here…



dyanne 2009-09-03 00:48:20 -0500 Report

I want u to know that I understand you completely.I also have the same problem. I know how awful it can make u feel. It is a true addiction, only we can"t hide ours. If we drank we could hide it. With food it is so difficult because u have to eat to live. You have to go food shopping and u have to cook, and it's legal we can do it anywhere anytime. I have found when I have been even in groups of over eaters they never seem to want to say they are addicted. I also found if I ever said I ate a whole pie they looked at me like I had 2 heads. Well then how did they get so big if they didn"t eat like that. Don"t give up as hard as it is. I have just lost 35 lbs with a long way to go but I have been feeling myself slipping and getting into that depressed frame of mind. I have seen in the last few months as soon as someone gets me upset the first thing I want to do is eat, and shut out the rest of the world. I would love to speak to you privately if u would like.I just wanted u to know u were not alone and that anyone with an eating disorder may not admit how much they can eat but we know better !!!! So hang in there and know that with the right help and support you can get help. Sometimes the best help comes from strangers. I also plan on having weight loss surgery, have u ever considered that ?? Good luck and keep in touch.
Hugs dyanne

Jaynie 2009-09-07 22:01:04 -0500 Report

Well said Dyanne. I will keep you in my prayers. Please keep me in yours. I too am a food addict. It is hard but it is also beatable.
Gods Rich Blessings,

Sandy Spence
Sandy Spence 2009-09-15 07:27:38 -0500 Report

Hello to everyone. I have just joined your discussions. First, let me add a little idea that popped into my head some time ago that has helped me through many, many trials in my life. God loved me so much that he found a way for me to be born. The next time you're tempted to pick up that pie, just remember that someone loves you no matter what you do, but, He is also crying when you hurt.

Now, as for the weight loss surgery - I had it. I love that I lost about 140 pounds. I really needed to. But, as a result of the surgery I ended up in the hospital a couple of months later with an infection that nearly killed me, I have hernias that I must live with for the rest of my life. I am on medications that I wouldn't have had to take without the surgery because I can't eat a lot of the foods I used to to get the vitamins I need and there are other side effects as well. I'm not say don't have the surgery. I am just saying that you need to make sure you read all the fine print and ask yourself if you can really handle all the "possible side effects". Chances are, you will end up with more than one unpleasant "side effecrt".

If you lose a pound by eating healthier, be grateful. You've made progress. If that pound seems stubborn please don't give up. When all else fails turn to your faith.

God Bless. - Sandy

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