I know the title of my article is kind of blunt. But let me start by saying I didn’t make it up. Instead, it came from a conversation I was having with a couple who needed to talk about what was going on – and what wasn’t going on – in their marriage.
I’ll refer to them as Jack and Laura. Jack was diagnosed with a chronic condition a few years ago. As a result, he has a lot of self-care responsibilities, which greatly impact his life. And as a result, Laura’s life.
During our conversation, Laura described a recent day that had left her feeling especially frustrated. She had picked their children up from daycare on her way home from work. They arrived to find Jack in his and Laura’s bedroom, with the door closed. When she asked him if he was okay, he informed her that he wanted to spend the evening alone to rest and do some research on a new treatment that interested him. The next day, Saturday, Jack had scheduled a session with a practitioner of natural medicine, and wasn’t able to help Laura with the kids.
Laura talked about how frustrated she felt. “I know your health needs to be a priority,” she said to him. “But what about us?” She went on to say that she would be happy to sit down next to him while he surfs the web for treatment information. And couldn’t that Saturday session have been scheduled for another day?
I often talk to clients about the importance of taking responsibility for their health. But I also saw how Laura felt sidelined, and left to do the heavy lifting at home.
Here’s a link to a recent article:
Have you and your partner ever felt like Jack and Laura? Do you find it hard to make your health a priority while still give your partner the attention he/she needs? And do you feel your partner always understand when you need to make your health a priority?
Really looking forward to hearing from you on this one!
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