Feeling a Bit Overwhelmed

Gabby
By GabbyPA Latest Reply 2017-01-06 02:40:52 -0600
Started 2016-11-30 08:33:44 -0600

This holiday season is the first without my husband and while I thought I had taken some great strides in working through my grief, I got a smack in the face last week and then this morning I had an insane fasting glucose. I mean crazy as in 300!! I had lamb and roasted veggies (cauliflower, onion, radishes and celery) for dinner last night, so not sure what happened.

The only thing I can think is that there is some extra going on with my emotions and of course, trying to fit all the holiday stuff in when I really don't feel like it. Work has crazy deadlines as well because everyone wants their projects in for permitting before January 1. Sigh…some days it just seems to be too much.

What do you guys do when you are feeling overwhelmed? Have any tips and tricks to share with me?


60 replies

KentuckyRanger
KentuckyRanger 2017-01-06 02:40:52 -0600 Report

Praying for you!
When I found out I had diabetes, my glucose was over 500!
My A1-C was 14!!!
I know the feeling when your sugar gets out of control.
My A1-C got down to 5.6, but every once in a while my glucose goes over 200.
It averages around 100 each day, but every once in a while it will spike.

When it happens to me, I try to figure out what happened and avoid it in the future.
But… Sometimes, we need a splurge, and we know it's going to cause a spike.
Just enjoy your life, and when you splurge, just grin and know you'll be back on track in the next few days.

I'm so sorry about your loss. Stress can also cause your body to do odd things.
When you get melancholy, you need someone non-judgemental to talk to.
Unfortunately, people like that are hard to come by.
In fact, I have nobody like that.
My wife is a good person to talk to, but she can be judgemental at times, so she's not a good person to talk to.
I had a friend who I could vent and BS with. He was awesome! Unfortunately, he passed away in 2000. I had another good friend I could talk to, but he passed away in 2013.
I'm praying hard to find another person I can befriend and have to commiserate with.

Lord forgive me, I'm rambling on, LOL!
I guess what I'm trying to say, is to network and find some good people to have around who understands what you're going through, and will support you without harsh judgement.

debcox
debcox 2016-12-26 12:53:48 -0600 Report

I've been thinking about you while traveling and every time you come to my mind, I've said a prayer for you. I have to say that when I am really stressed, I get on my treadmill or take a walk. Afterwards, I have a cup of hot tea and open a book.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-26 20:01:44 -0600 Report

Yeah, I am getting back into my book club books at night. It really destresses me. I had a great holiday and thank you so much for your prayers. It is so appreciated.

sweetslover
sweetslover 2016-12-23 17:53:06 -0600 Report

Tis the season to feel overwhelmed. I personally try to get out of the house and go swimming or horseback riding. I need quiet and solitude—a good cry also helps relieve somestress.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-26 20:02:52 -0600 Report

Tears are always a good release for me too. I read it this way: "Memories sometimes come to my eyes and roll down my cheeks". Love it.

Paulsue
Paulsue 2016-12-16 19:20:02 -0600 Report

oh Gabby, I am sorry. It is very difficult but hang in there. I do believe stress does play a big part in bg. I hope you are doing better by now. But your meal sounds yummy. It may help if you have something to do in the evening to unwind, read, exercise, color take a long bath ?? I don't know. But, painting really helps me a whole lot. I also watch a lot of art related films and that's pretty interesting and relaxing. But, I am retired now since July.

Are you doing better now? Work can be very stressful especially when you have deadline and people on your back about getting stuff done.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-26 20:04:01 -0600 Report

Actually I got my deadlines met and am taking this week off between Christmas and New Years to do paper work, taxes, and get loose ends tied up. I have had a very productive day today and that always makes me feel better.

cmr55
cmr55 2016-12-11 18:45:44 -0600 Report

My prayers are with this difficult, Try to remember all the good times and that your husband is with you in spirit and watching over you. Big hug Carol

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-26 20:04:40 -0600 Report

Yep, spend a lot of time remembering those things. I think tonight I will write him a letter. I have not written one for a while.

Mcamk
Mcamk 2016-12-07 13:10:40 -0600 Report

Breathe in…breathe out, slow down…sit still. You cannot escape
Grief. It's so sneaky and will blindside you and knock you over just when you think you're doing better. Believe me, it will get better and will someday be absorbed into a part of who you are. But never this fast. Let it hit and wait for it to subside and don't panic. We used to call it the GM…grief monster which would ride around on your back where you couldn't see it hiding. Do whatever you can during the holiday that pleases you the
Most. Friends, hobbies, walking, church, reading, pets, solitude, family. Be really kind to yourself.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-07 15:26:57 -0600 Report

It does blindside for sure. I never saw it as a monster though. Just a very hard teacher with some very impactful lessons to share. Doing the walking, staying active and doing things certainly does help. We actually bought a 7ft tall inflatable snowman in his honor with a camo vest and all. It is silly little things that help. Thanks.

Tony5657
Tony5657 2016-12-05 09:53:20 -0600 Report

Gabby, thanks for your business card for "pantrychix.com". Dorella is going to check it out. My "pantry" consists of a 2 car garage & a workshop - full of tools, car parts & many, many other things, including a 1929 Maytag washing machine. I thought you just needed to know that. (Sorry, I'm wound up tighter that a cheap watch with all the rain we've had - going on 6 inches). Tony & Dorella Colbert.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-07 15:28:20 -0600 Report

Hmmmm, I clicked on the link in the note above and it works fine...it only goes one place now, but we are working to expand that.

Tony5657
Tony5657 2016-12-05 10:19:12 -0600 Report

Gabby, I just tried connecting to the web address on the business card you sent us on your business card and I received the following from my browser - Firefox.
Your connection is not secure
The owner of www.pantrychix.com has configured their website improperly. To protect your information from being stolen, Firefox has not connected to this website.

Learn more…

Report errors like this to help Mozilla identify and block malicious sites I can't find your private email address so I had to send that message this way.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-07 15:20:59 -0600 Report

Oh, wow. Thanks, I will check into that. I know my guy was supposed to be working on it this week.

Oh, and so good to hear from you. LONG time my friend.

Hmmmm, I clicked on the link in the note above and it works fine...it only goes one place now, but we are working to expand that

Tony5657
Tony5657 2016-12-05 09:23:20 -0600 Report

Dear Gabby, you are loved by many of us. I have never seen this many replies to any posting You have many Christians praying for you, including me. Here is a Scripture that should give you encouragement. You & Rodger will be re-united in Heaven. 1 Thessalonians 4:15New International Version (NIV)
15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep (previously died). This gives me encouragement that I'll & you will be reunited with Christian love ones who have died (fallen asleep) before us. This gives me tremendous hope & encouragement, & I pray that you will receive this.
Sending you "boat loads" of prayers & encouragement. By the way, if you want to just "get away" for awhile, come visit us in New Braunfels, TX. You will stay free in our one unit B&B for as long as you want. Check it out at http://dorellaskleinegasthaus.com/

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-07 15:24:21 -0600 Report

That scripture is very true. Though I think he visits me on occasion now. Thanks for the encouragement and the offer. Like the website...so glad that is working for you guys now.

calayx
calayx 2016-12-05 00:43:31 -0600 Report

You never know when you'll be hit by grief. It could be a old song, places you enjoyed, it could be something that you never thought would bring tears. I have been there. I have 2 children . I found that talking about their Dad almost everyday soothed the days from heart wrenching grief. Talk about him to someone everyday. I am praying for you everyday. God bless and keep him alive in your heart.
Love and hugs. !!
Candy

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-05 09:07:04 -0600 Report

I do that actually in many formats. Sometimes I worry that people don't want to hear about it so much. But it helps me appreciate him, our time and things we did. Every season has it's own memories and I am sure as I work through them, it will get easier. The year of firsts is crummy though.

KarmannGhiaChristy
KarmannGhiaChristy 2016-12-04 21:47:30 -0600 Report

Stress can reek havoc on a body, so be kind to yours. Easier said than done, huh? The best idea I have for you, is one day a week - I used to call it NO PANTS FRIDAY, but that's been moved to Saturday.. It doesn't necessarily mean running around with no pants on, but more of a PJ-day to relax and cook, do laundry, watch a movie or 2, take a nap, catch up with a friend on the phone, or whatever! I try to get a day to myself every week, sometimes it doesn't quite work out, but I always try!
Did you test again after getting that 300? maybe a bad strip?
The year of firsts are always the hardest. You can keep telling yourself that he wouldn't want you to be sad, he would want you happy… but it's hard to be happy when you're missing someone so much. I lost my dad 3 1/2 yrs ago, and he was the best dad anyone could ask for. I still miss him terribly. My kids and I celebrate him once a year by throwing a message in a bottle into the ocean. He was a scuba diving instructor, so the ocean was his place… just keep trying to turn it into something positive, as hard as it may be right now. ((hugs))

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-05 09:15:13 -0600 Report

My "No Pants Friday" is usually on Sunday. I have been working many many hours to catch up for the holidays and I find I have to have a day to do that. It helps a lot.

I absolutely LOVE your message in a bottle. That is amazing. I write letters to him in one of his old journals. HIs wheel chair is still in the house and I use it to do things when he might have helped me. Like it held the ornament box while I decorated the tree.

KarmannGhiaChristy
KarmannGhiaChristy 2016-12-05 09:39:19 -0600 Report

Bottle #2 was found three times, as I got an email with the location (all 3 were in the Coronado area, it had a hard time getting around the peninsula). It was very exciting to read the emails of who found it. At the bottom of the letter, I always write, if found, please email me the location and throw it back in the ocean…
Bottle #1 and #3 haven't been found. I'm hoping one day I get an email from Australia or something.
We do it on the anniversary of his passing.
You know, that wheel chair would make a great home for a teddy bear collection. Buy yourself one every time you're having a tough moment, or on a special day… it would be a great tribute and might give you some happiness to look at the cute bears :-)

cmr55
cmr55 2016-12-03 22:21:22 -0600 Report

Oh Gabby my heart goes out to you! I know this is a very rough time for you. My son passed away 31 years ago and this time of year still brings back strong emotions. Just remember He is with you in spirit. Think of all the good times you had together. My brother has been gone for 4 years and I still miss him and especially this time of year. Big Hug

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-05 09:17:08 -0600 Report

Wow, after so long? I don't want to forget, but I don't want it to be like this every year. He is always with us here. We think he sends moths to check on us and just make us smile. as one was there for his memorial and every once in a while, one shows up, just when I need a smile.

BB42
BB42 2016-12-03 11:07:12 -0600 Report

Although my wife passed away just before Christmas 42 years ago, I still have a difficult time with the holidays. This year, I got hit with the flu and pneumonia. My BG numbers skyrocketed despite not eating much and being so careful. My doctor told me the emotional stress and illness can wreck havoc with one's numbers. I have to say that feeling overwhelmed often brings on an urge to binge eat. I don't and look to friends and family for support. Its difficult now but things will calm down. I know this is not smart but at times like these I take my numbers every other day.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-05 09:20:25 -0600 Report

Numbers are just numbers, it's true. I don't generally freak out because there are so many things that cause them to get out of wack, at least for me. I still test a few times a day, just to make sure I can get back on track. But I will say, this week every morning the numbers have been insane. So I just keep eating right, doing what I do, trying to destress...so far I have not had a binge temptation. Thankfully. If the food was in the house, I would have for sure.

Pegsy
Pegsy 2016-12-03 05:39:58 -0600 Report

Gabby, my thoughts and prayers are with you. A counselor told me that it takes about 2 years to recover, emotionally, from such a loss. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to experience the grief and ride out the process. Of course our emotions affect our glucose levels. Just be kind to yourself and understand that this too shall pass. Love and hugs to you.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-05 09:21:21 -0600 Report

Being kind to myself....I like that idea. That must mean being good to myself, so that keeps me on track. Thanks.

Consueloj
Consueloj 2016-12-01 22:30:04 -0600 Report

Gabby you are such a source of strength for all of us here, know that you and your beloved husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-05 09:22:11 -0600 Report

Oh, thank you so much. I know I am not the only one who deals with these things but I always am comfortable enough with you all to share my deepest feelings. You are always so helpful.

Luis65
Luis65 2016-12-01 11:01:02 -0600 Report

Gabby, you are such a steady supporter of the crew at DC. I hope that our concern and prayers for you during this time of grief brings you comfort. Grief is a peculiar thing, about 4 years after my Dad's death I was listening to a song in the car. It was not a song that I associated with him, but I found myself in deep grief for Dad, tears were streaming down my face.

I share my story as an illustration that the grief process is not linear. It is more like waves and tides. And we never forget those we love that have gone on.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-02 09:06:19 -0600 Report

Yes, everyone here is always such a help for me in so very many ways. I am so appreciative of everyone's thoughts and prayers. They are shared back with all of you as well.

Grief is certainly not standard, linear or easy for sure. I liken it to a bowl of spaghetti all tangles and messy. Eventually it will just be something I learn to navigate better.

yazman
yazman 2016-12-01 05:12:57 -0600 Report

Gabby, my heart goes out to you, so do my thoughts and prayers. I just lost
my girlfriend Oct20 so I feel your pain. Thanksgiving wasn't as bad as I thought
it might be. I was with her family. Great people. Your always with your family
here on DC. Plus your own family and friends. Hang in there and remember
were here for you. Take care always, Tony

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-01 08:28:02 -0600 Report

I am so sorry for your loss. There was a young girl in my grief class who lost her boyfriend. Young love is hard to loose, I am sorry. You take care as well...bug hug for you.

robertoj
robertoj 2016-11-30 22:39:24 -0600 Report

I have been through too many loses this year but when my mom died it hit me like a 2x4. She wanted me to visit her but I was in the hospital at the time. My glucose levels have shot up and I've also had lows. I am pretty much an emotional wreck and it keeps me off kilter. Last month my wife almost died and my own near death may have been a factor. My prayers are with you. Sorry for venting.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-01 08:20:18 -0600 Report

OMG...That is so intense. I will be keeping you in my prayers. That is so much for any one person to handle. I can't even imagine. HUGS for you!!

WASHED OUT
WASHED OUT 2016-11-30 21:36:53 -0600 Report

I don't know what answer I may give you that would fill an empty spot Gabby, except we all support you and think so highly of what you do among our group. I don't know anything that can fill the gap that lost loved ones leave. I can say it seems to hurt less as time goes by and we can't live in the past without consequences to the present and our future. I am sure your husband would tell you now if he could to live out each day with happiness through to the end until you can be together again. Sometimes we have to smile and just know they are looking down on us wanting so much to say the words,: Let it Go, it is alright. Be Happy and enjoy your today and your tomorrow for soon enough you will join them in eternity and that shall last forever. It is just a wait for the buss until the real ride begins. Life here is just a brief mist which fades into a timeless tomorrow, the scent of a fragrant flower that shall not be forgotten for it has penetrated our memory. I wish you the best my friend, smile and know they also look down and smile at you.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-01 08:26:54 -0600 Report

You guys are my rock in so many ways and I appreciate it greatly. Someone shared with me yesterday that my life is changed and I no longer have to be in the mode I was when I was a couple. It was very relieving actually. I am single again, I embraced it before, I will do that again. It gave me a great feeling of being "okay where I'm at". I was blessed to have him in my life, and the blessings don't stop because he's not here, they just change.

Aries2
Aries2 2016-11-30 19:44:11 -0600 Report

So very sorry you are alone for the holidays. I've gone through this a couple times and I survived and you will too. I told myself that this year the holidays were going to b different so I need to not "expect" anything. I had a Christmas party to have something to focus on. I drove to my sisters and while I was there I made myself enjoy what is. I would not allow myself to think about what I had lost or what was missing. I tried to live in the moment and I had a wonderful and fun Christmas with my sister and her family. Just don't let your mind become filled with sadness…enjoy each moment and enjoy who you are with! You can have a wonderful but different Christmas! Happy holiays to you!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-01 08:21:44 -0600 Report

Not letting it fill with sadness is perfect advice! That is true. Today, I put up a new inflatable (our first ever) that is in honor of him, so it makes me smile. Keeping the sadness away. Thanks.

Phi314
Phi314 2016-11-30 17:12:00 -0600 Report

Gabby, I am so sorry for your loss. Having gone through the death of 5 loved ones in the past 5 years, all during the Holiday season, I can empathize with where you are at. I'm thinking today of my sister-in-law. We lost my brother - her husband - a year ago tomorrow. I know this is a tough time for her. What can you do: Walk, pray, reach out to community (you are!), google Bible references on comfort (I'm comforted by Scripture), and remember that "a merry heart does good like a medicine" - who makes you laugh? Hit youtube for some humor therapy (I'm thinking the wonderful humor of Jeanne Robertson) - but when the time is right for you. Taking care of yourself is a wonderful way to honor the memory of your husband. You're doing a great job of that. One day at a time.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-12-01 08:23:36 -0600 Report

Doesn't that leave big holes at the gatherings? I know my hubby is always around, but it's hard when others don't know what to say. I could not imagine the sorrow of loosing so many in such a short time. I do like your YouTube idea, and there is a lot of stuff out there to fill that laughter spot for sure. Thanks.

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2016-11-30 14:24:56 -0600 Report

I wish I had a magic answer that would help you Gabby…try to take it one day at a time. Diabetes throws us unexpected curves and all we can do is adjust, as needed, for those wacko events and move on…but if the wacko events become everyday events, then I'd discuss with your doctor. Please know that you have lots of cyber friends here at DC and that our prayers are with you.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-11-30 15:09:36 -0600 Report

My levels were back down later today. So I am relieved. That was just nuts. LOL. I know I am not alone in feeling this way, specially during the holidays. Thanks for your prayers.

Paige9smom
Paige9smom 2016-11-30 11:30:04 -0600 Report

Firsts are so hard. I know it gets easier but that doesn't change it now. Take time for memories but also make new ones. Maybe a cooking class or if you knit join a mitten scarf give away group.
I know lots of people are sending warm fuzzies your way.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-11-30 15:10:37 -0600 Report

I like the idea of a cooking class. Hmmm. We did do some home mead ornaments we will be sharing with people, so that will be nice. Not sure about what new tradition to do, but I am sure it will appear.

Kakie33
Kakie33 2016-11-30 11:09:01 -0600 Report

So sorry to hear about your struggles… the loss of a loved one is one of the worse thing anyone can experience. I can relate somewhat to your feeling of being overwhelmed and although physical activities are of great benefit, I think that emotional downs can only be helped by talking about it with someone you trust and who will be not only attentive to your needs but also help you fill the void. It could be that by just talking about your feelings to a friend, you will find together little steps that will help bring the stress down. That darn stress is the worse enemy, and it creeps in no matter what.
Mourning is natural, and sometimes talking about the good memories brings good feelings. In turn good feelings can, for a little time, get that stress hormone under control.
Cheer up girl, you can do it… you've been such a cheer leader around here… I know you can do it! :)

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-11-30 15:14:18 -0600 Report

That is partly why I posted here. I knew you all would help me talk it through. I also contacted another person who has helped me a lot to talk about it. Yes, I agree. Emotional stuff has to be talked about, at least that works for me. It's not always fun, but it's always fruitful.

I have to laugh because the old memory, his Tigger Santa Hat turned into an hour of laughter looking for an inflatable yard ornament. It started out looking for a Tigger, but quickly digressed into all kinds of madness. It was fun, and we finally settled on a snowman wearing a camo vest (he was my camo king) so it fits perfectly. LOL

kimfing
kimfing 2016-11-30 10:46:04 -0600 Report

I usually put my headphones on and head outdoors for a nice brisk walk. Takes my mind off things and this time of year I enjoy my Christmas music way too much that I find myself signing along with people looking at me funny and makes me laugh

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-11-30 15:15:49 -0600 Report

He had a MP3 player with his favorite music on it that we played for him while he wandered between worlds and I took it on my trip. It had gotten put in an odd place and I found it the other day...so it was my music for my work all day yesterday...it was great.

Renee777
Renee777 2016-11-30 10:39:22 -0600 Report

I work a desk job where I sit at the computer all day. I noticed that a quick walk around the block and doing some strength training helps. I brought some weights to work today and left it under my desk, so when I get up to stretch, I do some bicep curls as well. Try that and see if it helps break up the routine sometimes.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-11-30 15:16:41 -0600 Report

I had all but stopped doing any kind of exercise, and this week I started walking again and it does help. It's a bit of me time, (well, with the dogs) but it's a nice respite.

janetdelaine
janetdelaine 2016-11-30 09:14:25 -0600 Report

I use yoga and mediation. and sometime just take several deep breaths at work when it gets really stressful, it helps. Just think about your breathing nothing else for a few minutes. I know it is not easy. I hope you find little relief.

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-11-30 15:17:35 -0600 Report

I used to do this before going to bed. Thanks for the reminder, I need to do that some more. Clear my mind before going to bed. Maybe that will help my fasting numbers in the morning too.

locarbarbie
locarbarbie 2016-11-30 09:08:00 -0600 Report

I realize I seldom participate in commenting but I actually thought about how difficult this time of year would be for you several times yesterday! I lost my Mom, Dad and brother almost 12 years ago and I still grieve their loss and cry from time to time. Allow yourself to grieve…it does get easier but I am not sure that it ever disappears entirely. I know stress raises cortisol levels and I have wondered if the increase in cortisol creates the increase in blood sugar as well. From what I have gathered, your diet/food plan is on point so hopefully this is just a little blip??

Gabby
GabbyPA 2016-11-30 15:20:04 -0600 Report

I really thought I kind of had it in the bag and that is why this is bothering me more than maybe it should. I just was hoping the bumps were over, but I guess not. It's oaky, and I keep him close in my heart. He sends me moths...why moths, I don't know, but when I see one hanging out on my wall, I just talk to him a little and it's all better.

My numbers were back in good range by mid morning, thank goodness. It was just freaky...but diabetes will do that to you. LOL