The Cost of Denial

By Bizz Latest Reply 2010-06-21 10:12:56 -0500
Started 2009-08-13 09:45:13 -0500

I'm definitely not newly diagnosed, but I'm newly taking it seriously.

I so badly didn't want to have diabetes that I somehow convinced myself it just wasn't that big of a deal…even though I know better with family members being diabetic.

I didn't take my meds properly (sometimes not at all), ate whatever I wanted, did whatever I wanted, and never checked my BS. Now I'm paying for it, and dearly.

Last year at age 42, I had a stroke. Fortunately I have had no lasting physical issues though my memory has suffered some. I'm about to see a kidney specialist because my endo thinks I may have kidney disease…which killed my father. And last, but definitely not the least, I'm having vision problems and will see a diabetic eye doctor in the next couple weeks.

Now I am desperately trying to get my sugar under control, learn everything I can about eating properly and work on a more healthy lifestyle.

If one person can learn from my huge mistake I will be happy. Do yourself a favor…take this seriously from the start. The life you save WILL be your own!!

20 replies

soldierswife 2010-06-21 10:12:56 -0500 Report

wow, i so thought i was the only person who thought like this. its just diabetes right?? yea, glad we figured out it was no joke heh

MAYS 2010-03-28 11:15:41 -0500 Report

" It can't happen to me," and " That's you, not me," are two of the worst excuses for denial, ask anyone and they will say that if I only knew then what I know now, well you did know, in the form of others saying and telling you the same thing that you are now saying.

It's an never ending cycle that needs to be broken by an individual, any individual, starting with me and ending with you.

Your attitude is the correct one now, too bad it took a lesson that is taught by others but not heeded by us, some lessons don't need to be learned the hard way, maybe some will see it from your point of view, I surely do, thanks for bringing this to the forefront !

" Mays "

Roy531 2010-03-28 10:52:52 -0500 Report

I am glad you realized what can happen, what has happened and decided to do something about it. I had a friend that didn't take care of his diabetes and he will never get the chance to change. He died a few years back because of his, to put it bluntly, stupidity. He never owned a meter to test his blood he just gave himself shots and just went on with his life like he always did. I am so happy that you get a second chance at this, to change what you have been doing to yourself and start taking better care of yourself. Good luck with your new life and will support you with my prayers. Don't get discouraged and fall back into the old ways, we are here to support you and encourage you.

beadmom 2009-08-14 14:06:47 -0500 Report

I just had a harsh awakening last week too. My Dad had a massive stroke. I am taking everything seriously but still to have that in your face experience knowing he will probably never regain more than the 4-5 words he can speak and is paralyzed on his right side and someone is going to have to care for him for the rest of his life( which at this point is his new wife but she is older and has her own health problems) makes you really rethinking everything.

I sure don’t want anyone having to do that for me.


Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-08-14 18:32:21 -0500 Report

Oh, brother! That sounds similar to my own folks years ago. Dad got lung cancer, had macular degeneration, mom was Hard of Hearing, dad lived for 9 mos and during that time it metastizied to his brain, couldn't walk, fell, took him by amb to the city—mom was dead set on caring for him, and NOT a REST HOME, the Dr in the city said that he would be treated as an outpatient—having radiation to his brain, bring him back and forth to the hospital!!!!!! I just stared at him, poor mom just nodded—what was I to do——I am an only child, hubby was distant in some respects—-the Dr then reconsidered, saying that he might keep him a few days for treatment—-and they sent my daddy upstairs, mom stayed at the hospital and i stayed with our son—got an emergency call the next morn, dad had had a heartattack——-come quickly, I did, mom couldn't tell them to take him off of the respirator, we had Living Will papers, DNR BUT since mom was there they kept asking her, and she kept saying, no—-no—-no——Of course my words meant nothing.

The Dr then let us into the room where they were working on dad, thinking that that would change my mom's voice—did not—THEN the DR said,"Oh, well, he had half of his heart blow out anyway, a respirator would not help!

I was so TORN—Why, oh WHY did that Dr have to put my mom through that—-??? So, they let my dad go—-

For years my mom blamed ME for his cancer and death, did NOT see that God had intervened in a hopeless situation, she just could NOT have cared for him, neither could I , Not like that!!!! But secretly I thanked God for taking him before it started eating more of his bones———-he had turned yellow-orange that very morning, so—-it was best—

But I kept doing the best I could for her, the next 19 years, and now I know that I did my best, NOT as well as I and OTHERS thought that I should have—I really don't know what they expected of me!!!!

Sorry, I forgot our topic——Take care, and God Bless ALLL!!!!! PR

cakeybakes 2009-08-14 13:34:28 -0500 Report

It sounds like you and my dad have a lot in common. He passed two years ago because he refused to take care of his diabetes. He finally quit the dialisys when he had some complications.

Good luck to you! And you are in my prayers!

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-08-14 13:48:05 -0500 Report

Thank you so much!! I do so live to get on this site and get my daily fix of "Goodies!" I even sign on before I eat breakfast, BUT then it is dinner time, so better eat then WRITE! HAH__Wonderful thing is happening to my tummy, even tho I don't feel so sick and FULL, I still eat a small amount and am SATISFIED!!!!!!! I really don't understand it, but think it is due in part to the support if you all—-I have an inner fullfillment of Love, and don't have to eat so much to feel that sense of SAtisfaction!! YEay!!!PR

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-08-14 12:59:47 -0500 Report

I so ADMIRE all of the OLD TIMERS , young and old, of this disease, Diabetis!! It must be unbeleivably tough to fight it most of your lives, yet I see such loving, caring souls on this site, a better group of understanding and symapthetic and supportive folks I have never seen!!

Even tho my emotional challenge has been so great, it is like the diabetis was an afterthought of God to see if I could cope with it too, making me NOT a happy camper for a long time, but am thankful now, that it isn't worse, as it well could be if I don't pay attention!!

Good Luck to ALL, you have my Blessings and SUPPORT!! PAT ROTH

hbkunkel 2009-08-14 11:11:31 -0500 Report

Look into getting some diabetic education. I had to revisit it because I had let myself slip and needed a good kick in the pants to jumpstart my will to get back on track. Best wishes with everything you are going through and remember you us as a very concerned network to get you over the many, many humps and bumps that blindside us.

lipsie 2009-08-14 10:44:43 -0500 Report

Yanno, I have to say the same thing for me, I have known that I was a HIGH candidate for this, and yet I ignored anything and everything about it. Even when I was diagnoised I did not take things serious..anyhow…I am just now opening my eyes, this site has helped me so much to see things and what the realties are if you do not take care of yourself. So, thank you for sharing about yourself, it can help others!! Hugs! Sheila

Jipwhip 2009-08-13 21:56:31 -0500 Report

I am glad to hear you are taking better care of yourself. Know that you are not alone in this. Take one day at a time.

Bizz 2009-08-13 18:26:04 -0500 Report

Thanks everyone. I'm working really hard at getting educated about this crazy disease and getting it under control.

Guess I don't have to like it, I just have to deal with it.

mamaoak 2009-08-13 20:44:33 -0500 Report

yes it is not easy excepting this just do every thing you can to take care of your self. and you will get use to it. i must say i was really up set when i was dignosted i was very angery but i made up my mind i was going to do every thing i could to help my self. it is a big life style change.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-08-13 16:10:05 -0500 Report

Oh, MY! I am so sorry for you, and thanks for the warning as I too have had a tendency to not think I REALLY had it, was Borderline for over 50 years, so WHY NOW, at 74 yrs, now 77 yrs, and gradually, for the first time in 3 years, I have it DOWN. I do not know if that means that it will stay down, or something that I wil always have to watch. Time will tell, I guess, but if I mess up now, after being properly informed, it will be my own fault. The one thing I have going for me , is my age, I shouldn't have too many years left anyway, so—whatever—Hugs to YOU!! PR

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2010-03-28 22:28:30 -0500 Report

It is now March 28, 2010, and for me, I still have to keep track of my BS, even tho they are more consistantly lower, one eve I checked and it was 180—so now, I know that I must always keep a check, especially in the eve. PR

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