Frustrated With the "Experts"

By cakeybakes Latest Reply 2009-08-03 08:39:23 -0500
Started 2009-07-25 14:19:48 -0500

Okay, so I got my test results from the MRI after a HUGE fiasco that's waaaay too detailed to go into. Needless to say, I will be waiting for a copy of the CD before stepping one foot out of the room after a procedure.

They have found nothing significant that "jumps out" at them to cause any concern. What the heck?! We still know that it was not a stroke, not a tumor, and not seizures. Unfortunately, the old CD won't be at their office until Monday when the doctor is away for a week in order to compare it with the new MRI.

When I went in on Wednesday, I was not told I would be seeing the nurse practitioner and the doctor would not even BE there. She re-examined me (the same exam the doctor and resident performed 4 weeks ago) all over again after having told me she didn't have any test results and had the nerve to ask me why I was upset when I started to cry! I really wonder how she got through school with wits like that. It's a little difficult to stress about what the heck your body is doing when it looks like you're having a stroke for the past 2 years just to be told that you aren't going to get ANY answers—again. Then, she asked me if anyone has witnessed some of these symptoms. I thank God that my mother went with me (since I can't drive long distances alone due to these "episodes"), because I swear I would have leaped at her throat. My mother about had a cow at that point. All my co-workers, family, friends, and customers have all seen me go through these weird "episodes". The only reason I finally got to the neurologist was because one finally happened in front of my family physician and she demanded that I see the "expert".

Now, I have to wait until the end of September to see the nurse practitioner again, but the doctor will be there if I have any questions. What a joke! When I complained to the NP that the entire visit was a waste of my time and money her reply was, "Don't you have insurance?" THAT'S NOT THE POINT! NOTHING was accomplished during this visit except to see an NP that specializes in migraines who couldn't tell me anything I already knew. And this is supposed to be the best office in the region?! I want answers and I'm not willing to wait another 2 years for them. Any suggestions?

By the way, thank you for all your good thoughts and prayers. I have needed them so much in the last few weeks. I know all of you have gone through similar situations and anxieties with different doctors and medical conditions. It's very comforting to know that you understand.

9 replies

lipsie 2009-07-30 02:24:43 -0500 Report

I know what you are going through in a way. I feel awful for you having to waste you time with that NP. She had no sympathy as it sounds too. It's such a ###### not knowing what is REALLY going on with you…and MRI's I feel do NOT tell it all! I just wish you well and luck hun. Sheila

cakeybakes 2009-08-03 08:01:06 -0500 Report

Thanks so much! I will (hopefully)find our more this week.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-08-03 08:39:23 -0500 Report

It is a relief to ME that others have troubles with the professionals, thought that it was ALL ME!! With my history, it contorts what is going on—-but THOUGHT that I was tracking straight! NOW I AM MORE SURE OF MYSELF and think that I can stand up to them with a clearer conscience, know that they are human too and if I like myself, hang in their with self respect, I think I can do it—-talk again to Drs. Hugs to ALL! PR

GabbyPA 2009-07-27 15:17:10 -0500 Report

Don't be the victim, be an advocate.

Research. That is the best I can offer. You have to do for yourself, as the system is not going to be able to do for you. Go in armed with specific questions, suggestions and convictions. This is what I do now. My doctor will raise an eyebrow now and again, and sometimes he tells me I am being crazy, but at least I am bringing things to light.

It is bad that we have to struggle so much, but to be honest, it is hard for them to know everything. So we are the best tool for getting answers. I learn as much as I can and then experiment, practice, try things out. I record my results (or lack of results) and always take that with me.

I used to be really meek with my doctors, but now....I try to lead the charge. Sometimes I am off base, but that is okay, they will straighten me out. But if I don't feel it is right, I keep on pushing until I have an answer that works for me.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-07-26 19:06:36 -0500 Report

Oh, MY!! Once again I am reading posts by others that mirrow my own frustrations with Drs. They see that I have serious emotional problems and the buck stops there—-she is a NUT, and I was before I could finally force myself to face them, like Jocelyn stated, in a calm, sincere, and FIRM matter!

When I was being ridiculed by Drs and dermatologists over these Stinging Nettles in my hands and arms for 5 years, due to fine hairs in that weed that contain an acid that penetrates the skin and goes down into the bone—HORRILBY ITCHY AND PAINFUL<<<< ACID__you know!
I was so mad, discouraged, and HURT so badly!! I wondered how much pain I was going to have to endure in life to ever get care, help-or for anyone to even care!!!

In desperation I went to a different dermatologist (saw 6 Drs and 3 derms)he looked at my festered arms and told me in no uncertain terms, that he had seen many cases of people "Digging at themselves, even their pictures (I had pics too) and he did NOT want me to ever see him again!!! And further more, he wouldn't even charge me!!

Well, whoopppeee! I was mad, crying and the only words that came to my mind were,"God needs to bless you!" And tore out, sobbing!
Well, I bawled for awhile, then collected myself and wrote to the clinic that had referred me exactly what happened, how upset his unprofessional attitude had been, I was an unhappy camper—-and further more, I had left my water jug there and I wanted it returned , or $2 for it.

The committee for unhappy patients, (can't think—but you know what I mean) sent me a very nice letter, were sorry that I was not happy with his services, and they usually didn't reimburse anyone for water jugs left behind, BUT they sent me a check for $2!!

Ha-Well, it really didn't change the situation, I guess the Dr was left there, but heard from others how hateful and rude he was!!! (I just had to hear that it wasn't just me!!!)

At any rate, I felt somewhat avenged that at least they had paid me the $2, maybe for fear that I might be the suing type and it would be cheaper to keep me happy! ha—Well, I found some humor, after I settled down, when he hatefully told me that he didn't want to see me again, and (graciously—haha) assured me that he wouldn't even CHARGE ME!! Well, honey, you better not worry that I should be stupid enough to ever RETURN!! Let alone CHARGE ME!!!! So, I black balled him whenever I got the chance, if someone wanted a recommendation of a good derm—-I STRONGLY SUGGESTED TO NOT GO TO THAT ONE!!!
I suppose that sounds hateful, and it was, but also one of my first steps in defending and protecting myself!! How dare such open condemnation!!! I WILL NOT TOLERATE that kind of attitiude again, from anyone. I may handle it more graciously, but I will NOT KNUCKLE UNDER, like I used to. "Please like me!!" Well, the more you plead, the worse it becomes as it lowers your own worth in the site of others and they will deliberately withold what you so desperately NEED! At least that is how I see it. But am trying to see the situation more from their the Drs. eyes, and to not take it so personally! But it is a work in progress!!! Get em,' Cakeybakes!! hah—PR (I am onery, aren't I!??)

cakeybakes 2009-07-27 13:19:55 -0500 Report

What a jerk! My husband had a similar situation when he had his vasectomy because the doctor didn't read his medical history and allergies. He put catgut stitches in him and the poor man ended up having a severe allergic reaction (in one of his very favorite places, I might add). The surgeon said to treat it with hydrogen peroxide and stop being such a whimp. 2 days later when he could hardly walk he ended up in the ER and the doctor was apalled at how he had been treated and, furthermore, told my husband that hydrogen peroxide was the worst thing he could have done. The infection had spread and he ended up on a steroid and missed a WEEK of work. He wasn't even supposed to miss ANY work for such a simple surgery. I'm just glad the vasectomy worked and there was no long term damage. Needless to say, we told tons of our friends exploring that option NOT to go to this butcher and later found out he was under investigation for having had so many complaints filed against him. In fact, one of my husband's co-workers went to the same guy around the same time and ended up with a near fatal blood infection and was told by the surgeon that he shouldn't be such a whimp when he first started to complain of not feeling well since the surgery. He almost died and was in the hopital for a couple of weeks! Thank the good Lord my hubby is fine!

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-07-27 14:58:43 -0500 Report

Sorry, cakeybakes, but I couldn't help bug giggle out loud, one of his favorite areas! ha—So true of most men, I think. It so helps me to hear of these other stories of neglect from Drs., proves to me, over and over, that all such crude reactions are NOT ALL MY FAULT!! as that was how I was programmed as a child, and I can't begin to explain all the agony that that attitude caused!

It is sad, but some Drs just aren;t adequate! This unfortunately, puts a shadow over the rest of them and then they are so overworked, stressed trying to please the patients, plus the Insurance requirements and admission criteria, which can be so UNREASONABLE!!! I have witnessed the Drs frustration in trying to treat their patients according to the guidelines set by the govt, IT STINKS, and from what I hear on TV, will get worse! YUCK!! I do try to understand their point of view, BUT, open RIDICULE??!!! Forget it!!! That no longer flies for Patricia ANN "Been there, and endured that", and NO MORE! Unfortuantely, you are not alone! Hang in their for your RIGHTS! No one else will. If I had had energy to have sued a few, I might have, but I am not the suing kind! So, Watch out for GOD, oh, ye cranky, careless DRs. hah—I have "Turned you in to God, He will make you stand up and be accounted for!" Best Wishes!! PR

mamaoak 2009-07-25 19:35:11 -0500 Report

that was dissapointing experience for yo u. i think what jocylen advised you to do might help. I don.t know any thing alse to tell you but ido think the insurance will help you. good luck hope you can get some help with this. keep your chin up and i hope all goes well for you.hugs take care cathy

Ms.B2 2009-07-25 16:00:55 -0500 Report

I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience. It is so difficult to keep your cool sometimes when you are already worried about what is going on and looking to the "experts" for their knowledge only to be treated like you don't hsve anything wrong with you or worse yet to be asked if someone witnessed any of these occasions as if you imagined or made them up! Shame on them, I guess they have forgotten they put their pants on like the rest of us. Some of the experts do get a God like complex and forget we all started out the same way.I know it's hard not to worry or to be patient but getting upset won't get you anything except more frustrated than you already are. I hope you get the results we are all praying for soon. Take care, keep your chin up and remember your not alone.
Always Lucie

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