Alone, Afride,Depress and Confuess

By sisson Latest Reply 2009-07-22 09:41:19 -0500
Started 2009-07-21 10:34:44 -0500

Good Morning everyone
It's been along time secen you've heard from me. Like alot of you I've been going through alot and it's been afecting my family I don't know whom I'm hurting more them or me yesterday my sugars dropt 3 times 63,54,56 and this morning at 7:30 am it was 56 again most of the the time I have to make myself eat. I notice that I am getting more and more depress I don't want to do anything I just sit on the couch and watch tv all day I don't care if I clean or not. I don't spend the time like I use to with my grandchildren that what hurts the most. I feel so lost my daughter and I got into it the there day she told me that she wants her old mother back I told her I want me back to. I don't like me at lest not this one. Has anyone every woke up in the middel of the night with hot sweat and exanity atack wanting to jump out of your skin and you think your sugars are droping through the flour I did last Wed and I mad the bigest missatake I drake I drake a half of coke I sugars went to 254 and I slept most of the day. Before I did the that I did check my sugars and it was 70 but it felt like it was droping that's why I drank it. I PRAY THAT I NEVER DO THAT AGAIN.

13 replies

cakeybakes 2009-07-21 23:52:20 -0500 Report

Depression sure does get the best of me at times, too. Fight it no matter how you feel. Make yourself get off that couch and take a walk. Just getting outside in the sunshine for 15 minutes helps me tremendously. I've been fighting depression since adolescence. (Of course, no one knew what it was back then, and I was very good at hiding my true feelings.)

Seriously, think about getting outside for just 15 minutes a day and into the sunshine. It has helped me boost my mood many times. Not to mention a brisk walk sure works out a little of the stress and aggravation of whatever may be happening at the moment. And, most of the time, my attitude is adjusted by the time I come back inside. The bit of excercise will also help to level out your BS so you won't have so much jumping around. It also helps with night time anxiety attacks. (I used to get them once in a while.)

Take care!

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-07-22 09:41:19 -0500 Report

Hi, Cakeybakes, I agree that getting outside works wonders, would have gone under years ago if I hadn't gotten outside, watched the squirrels, birds, the fish in my fish pond, take a walk, releases "the good guys" endorfins? Is that it?? Pardon me, I need to go outside! PR

remiglo 2009-07-21 22:53:30 -0500 Report

I'm really glad you posted this. I needed to read it and see how I'm depressed and sleeping too much, and how I avoid some people and try to hide in my own little world.

None of us are perfect, but we just have to keep trying.

Please tell your daughter how much you love her.

Thank you and stay strong, we need you also.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-07-22 09:38:40 -0500 Report

You too??? mY,. I hadn't realized so many were battling this old enemy of MINE (ha) Depression. I had felt so all alone in fighting this as most people around here, simply, do not get it and put me down—big time—-"others have it worse"—well, of course they do but all that does to me is to increase the guilt and pain! Sorry about the rest of you, yet I am relieved to find friends in need—-Maybe if we all ban together and then RAM it head on, we could splinter the guilt and pain, into tiny slivers that would never hurt us again! Good Luck to ALL of you!! PR

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-07-21 22:36:02 -0500 Report

Jocelyn, I thought that all of your kind words were aimed at ME! See, how similar we can be?? I forgot that I was reading someone else's story!! It was accurate in so many ways, it fit my own life, now that I am continuing to remember what and where—-I was molested when I was 3 years old, and my poor mom went on and on, "never take candy from a man again!" It happened in a dime store, around the other side of a counter—-She had her own issues and every time something like that happened, I JUST KNEW that it was all my fault, I was wicked, a sex fiend etc—I am just now being able to really remember it, and getting through all of the pain in dealing with it. have been in therapy over 45 years and on heavy meds, still the pain hits at unsuspecting times!! BUT, I am beginning to reach out to others again, without that burden of guilt weighing on my shoulders, "People wouldn't like me 'if they knew'"!! There is more, but it became psyhchotic, I really couldn't tell if everyone hated me, or I just thought that they should—-HORRIBLE FEELINGS OF UNCERTAINTY~ Not knowing for sure if I was sane, or not—-

This topic hits too close to home, but hope that maybe I have mentioned SOMETHING that will strike a chord with someone else and HELP THEM!! I feel that that is the only reason God has helped to pull me through this far—to try and HELP others!!

And right, sleep is so important! I had turned off all of my sleep warnings, push, push, outrun, outrun, but there came a time when I no longer could run! I am currently on several meds to help me relax, take care of myself, and rest——still can't sleep if I forgetto take them. So this diabetis was almost more than my ego could handle! Haven't I been through enough without taking my well loved sweets away too???!!!!

But I am allowing myself to FEEL now, without feeling guilty or like I am nasty and dirty because I FEEL~ And am going to help with Bible Shcool next week and try to help the children! Helping others is about the only thing, outside of the meds, that has helped to ease the pain! No one in this community 'gets it"!!! So praise be for this welcoming, soul saving site!!!!

A new friend, Pat R Hope I could HELP!!!

BLC 2009-07-21 20:46:56 -0500 Report

I am so sorry you are going through this. I also deal with depression in my own life. Currently it is not everyday but a couple days a week I just feel like I can't cope. I just try really hard to keep myself as busy as possible. I had a low just today and I find after I recover from a low I will be depressed for a while afterwords. I know you mentioned you had been suffering from lows as well so maybe the depression is coming from that. I hope you feel better soon. Just know you are not in this alone. You are in my prayers.

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-07-21 20:38:23 -0500 Report

May I suggest eating cheese and crackers, instead of sweet juice which just boosts you up quickly, only to let you fall just as quickly. When I worked at the hospital we were told if they were consious to offer cheese, peanut butter, a protein. we dealt with brittle diabetics so don't know too much about how they act before they get to that point, will let other, more knowledgeable people on this site offer their own "tricks of the trade"! If our patients were 'out', an IV was started, but that is of no help at this stage! Sorry, but just wish you the best in your stuggles for the truth!! your new friend, Pat Roth

Pat Roth
Pat Roth 2009-07-21 20:41:50 -0500 Report

As for depression, I started out with my earliest memories, misinterpreted—for 77 years and have been a slight diabetic only 3 years, so my nasty disposition (I think) was due to my bottled up anger! I suppose the depression did not help the diabetis, who knows?? The point is, I must take control, like it or not! PR

SusanJ 2009-07-21 19:52:03 -0500 Report

I still go through depression. There are times when as soon as I get home from work all I want to do is go to bed and stay there. What I try to do on those days is take a walk talk to a good friend or get together with my grandchildren. They also seem to help to cheer me up. Do talk to your doctor as well. Remember you are not alone we are all here for you as well. Good luck and keep us posted please on how you are doing.

mamaoak 2009-07-21 17:53:04 -0500 Report

sorry to hear of your bad time when you get that low drink apple juce i would get that low in the night and tha is what i did i was taking to much insulin call you dr he can lower it for you a bit at a time. try not to get depressed go to yoour dr, may be your not eating enough carbs. depression is not an easy thing to deal with i will pray for you good luck will be thinking about you. take care of your self.

BeckyJ 2009-07-21 17:41:20 -0500 Report

I am so sorry that you are having a rough time. I have fought depression most of my life (from the age of 12)I was finally diagonosed as Bi-polar in 2006 and was able to start treatment that has seemed to help. One thing that I learned though is that when my sugars are low I slip into that depressed mood more quickly that I might have otherwise. I have found a lot of help from my therapist whom I see once a month. She seems to put things in perspective and gives me a shoulder to lean on. Praying that you get to feeling better soon. Best of luck!

Sarguillo 2009-07-21 15:49:24 -0500 Report

Remember, depression seems to go hand in hand with alot of us. Take it one day at a time. If you can aford it, or have the means, seek out a mental health perfessional. Its ok to ask for help. In fact, that is the first step to recovery. I keep water at my bedside in case i need to drink during the night. Good luck, You are not alone. Hope all works out ok for you. Keep us posted.

SHELBY 2009-07-21 11:02:06 -0500 Report

Things will get better I just found out that I have this but about ten years ago I had cancer and thought that it was a useless battle but I am still here. I found that sometimes you just have to force yourself to get up and do things and maybe that will help you feel better. Also do you have anyone that you can confide in.

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