As I come out of this horrible depresssion, I guess I am in a rut of "feeling sorry " for myself, in a way—Since my energies and physical make-up are limited I have been at a loss as what I am to do for the remainder of my life—-I am 77 years old, raised 4 children who are busy with their own lives—I am learning to accept that, but I sure do NOT like it, and am RETIRED!
I have been making myself go outside and putter in the flower gardens, but am lazy, put things off!
But, a sweet, young girl of 14 years old that lives across the street, came over, with her 13 yr old brother on MOn., and offered to help me water my flowers.
I started to tell them that I could do it all myself, then re-thought it, and said, "sure"! "May I come in the morning?"
Cheezzz, now I am going to have to commit myself to something that I feel half-heartedly about! I HATE to get up early—result of HAVING to for 30 years working at the hospital, then raising our 4 children with serious digestive problems!
Well, it has been one week, this week, and accepting her help has been one of the best moves of my life! She also has a 9 yr. old brother who has Down's syndrome, she LOVES to care for him, while her mom works, also at the hospital. She shared that she wanted to become a pediatrician, loved helping EVERYONE! If she got paid, OK< or not, OK!
Hmmm—-food for thought, Patricia Ann.
To make a long story shorter- -I pay her $1 an hour for watering, and she baked us 4 muffins without being asked, loves to bake, so I offfered her $10 a week to bring us 2 doz cookies (for my hubby) to help out their family! Her dad is in prison for child molestation, there are several more siblings but they are scattered here and there, just these 3 children reside across the street!
As she shared her life, she told me that this month her mom received a letter from the govt, refusing to pay them any more money for help in caring for the nine yr old! No warning, just NO MORE!! I noticed that the child wears hearing aids, strong glasses, and has difficulty walking! The 13 and 14 yr old, pull the younger boy in a wagon to go to the Methodist church to eat dinner every day, as their mom is at work. Also, their swimming at out local pool is limited as the young boy can't be out in the sun too long or he passes out! When she told me that they were getting ready to walk the 7 or 8 blocks to eat, I offered to take them! It is TOO hot out there for those youngsters!
Then their mom was working 40 hrs a week, but got cut to 28 hrs, due to our recession! The girls ( a 15 yr old in Col.)are trying to make money to help their mom as their income has been cut so drastically! Of course there is no way that these children can make up $2000 a mo.!
But you know what? For once, in a long time, I am now thinking of others, eager to help these kids that I can identify with—-so with positive distractions of caring, once more, for others, I won't dwell so much on my DIET< EXERCISE etc—-and other mundane BS things.
That is another reason to keep going, and you folks here on this site, have also helped, I feel cared about-, something in common without critism—so look around you and may you too find a coping experience that will help you to get out of our rut! Best Wishes—Let me hear how you are coping and adjusting to "life without sugar! or a job and a purpose!" Pat Roth
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