Had a diabetic friend jump on my last nerve today...

Jibber Jabber
By Jibber Jabber Latest Reply 2015-03-24 13:53:12 -0500
Started 2015-03-18 19:53:13 -0500

My hubby has a very good friend who, by default has become a friend of mine…He is also diabetic..I went into the French Quarter to visit my hubby at work and he was there with his wife…so we all went out to lunch…I ordered grilled shrimp with a side salad…and he proceeded to order the fried catfish with French fries…I said nothing because he is a grown man and it is not my place to judge or correct him…Well I wish he would of been so courteous…he questioned me and my food choices..He made it clear that in his opinion there was no reason for me to eat the way I do..He pulled out THREE bottles of medication and bragged he keeps his A1C under 7…I kept my mouth shut…just told him I preferred to eat this way…BUT HE KEPT GOING!!!!…Asking me why I was on this "crazy diet"…I blew my top…I asked him how long he had been diabetic..he told me 8 years..I asked him how many meds he took when he was first diagnosed…he told me only metformin…then I told him I eat my crazy diet because I don't want to end up like YOU in eight years taking three different meds to keep my A1C down and told him if he didn't stop eating the way he does the next step is insulin…yep it wasn't pleasant…His wife made him stop and told him he asked for it…the next 40 or so minutes went on forever…I swear I don't know if I should be more angry or more saddened,,,,,I should of controlled myself a little better and I feel bad…but dude asked for it…I hate it when people judge me and my diet…


34 replies

Donielle Werner
Donielle Werner 2015-03-24 13:53:12 -0500 Report

Jibber: Whatever you do DON'T FEEL BAD… you were kind enough not to put him on blast for what he ordered but then for him to belittle the fact that you actually care enough about yourself to eat what you should instead of what you might have liked is beyond rude and completely unfriendly. Never feel bad for standing up for yourself in this type of way because you speak for and represent all of us who are trying to do right by and for ourselves.

And if he can't get passed that day, then he was never really yours or your husband's friend to begin with… you'll know how much he actually values or valued your friendship by the way he treats you next time you see or talk to him. But don't feel bad about it either way… He got what he very much deserved.

Donielle

killa1980
killa1980 2015-03-23 22:32:11 -0500 Report

I'm glad you stood up and told him off. I get tired of non diabetics telling me would I should eat let alone a diabetic who's probably in the same boat or off worse saying the same thing. Keep doing what you're doing. He's the one that's going to be hurting in the end.

Diane Dorfman
Diane Dorfman 2015-03-23 11:54:10 -0500 Report

I agree…Everyone is different and we all have our own ways of dealing with our diabetes! What works for you, may not work for him or any one else. But its your business. I get that once in a while too from people i know. We eat out a lot and people will say, oh aren't you diabetic? Can you eat that!? Its just crazy. I just tell them, probably shouldn't, but its all in moderation and I work out! I do what I feel is right for me and my body!

BB42
BB42 2015-03-23 08:15:12 -0500 Report

If it makes you feel netter, you are not alone. Many of my friends, including those with diabetes , question my eating habits. You and I understand our disease and what we do to live a healthy life. I've no time or patience for others and I tell them so.. I feel badly but "please keep your nose out of my business". I worked to hard to fall back and I proud of my new lifestyle

Chopstix
Chopstix 2015-03-22 21:26:33 -0500 Report

I think you controlled yourself just fine. Some people don't realize that when they start pushing there are those of us who will push back. He should consider himself lucky you didn't pick up something and smack him good. Diabetics have enough of a time as it is and the last thing we need is the Diabetes Police around…

brian970
brian970 2015-03-22 16:47:17 -0500 Report

You can only take so much before you blow your to. I have been a diabetic for 45 years I have dealt with alot but would never try to tell anyone what to dodo, we are all the same but different.

Sopies Grandma
Sopies Grandma 2015-03-22 08:51:49 -0500 Report

if that had been me, he would been crying when I got done with him. I'm glad that you stood up for yourself. Don't feel bad about what you said, after all he was the one who opened that door. :)

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-20 15:13:45 -0500 Report

Hey Jibber Jabber, as others have said, I certainly don't blame you for reacting as you did. Sounds to me like this guy was feeling pretty defensive about his poor eating habits and instead of owning up to his poor choices, he decided to go on the attack. This was all about him and his own issues. I hope he will think about what you said at some point in the near future. You might have saved his life. And I hope his wife will remind him of that conversation. You made good use of a teachable moment.

Jackson704
Jackson704 2015-03-20 13:18:50 -0500 Report

Thats pretty sad, my daughter and son-in-law are vegans and are very happy with it, so when they come over I cook vegan stuff, which is very tasty and his family makes fun of them because they eat healthier—-my son has also started eating healthy and lost 18 pounds—-so here's to you eating great food that is also good for you

JSJB
JSJB 2015-03-20 06:45:18 -0500 Report

You did the right thing. He is a grown up and should have known better. I think his wife should have chimed in when he started. I didn,t see anything wrong with your order but he had the French fries which I think were more harmful. Where was your husband?

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2015-03-19 12:41:41 -0500 Report

Ahhhhhhh, the I'm BETTER than you are game…
Wonder if Polansky will update his "cute images" to include this demon in the next edition(s).

Baaaaaad protocol, as a male, I humbly apologize FOR THIS CLOWN, and on behalf of my gender… for his inexcusable(s)… obviously ; )

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2015-03-19 12:05:04 -0500 Report

Your order was very similar to what I would have ordered. Everyone makes his own choices and you were placed in the position of having to defend yours. Bravo for standing up to someone who appears to be a bully. After my grandson's college graduation we all went out to dinner. My daughter-in-law and her Mom are both Type 2's and both overweight as well. I ordered a salad for my meal and my daughter-in-law ordered fried shrimp and fries while her Mom ordered a pasta alfredo. I kept mum because it's none of my business about the choices they make and they didn't comment about what I chose to order either. They are both intelligent, delightful ladies. I'm sad that their choices are not the healthiest but have no power to change them.

Nick1962
Nick1962 2015-03-19 11:26:24 -0500 Report

Not really meaning to poke here, but it sounds like you’ve found that one stone-headed person who kind of proved my point during one of our exchanges about a month ago.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-03-19 17:23:41 -0500 Report

Oh God the pain…I cant remember what I ate for dinner a few days ago..I certainly don't remember that conversation…but hard heads do exist..but strangely enough THIS hard head actually called me and apologized today..and asked me to have lunch with him over the weekend so I can explain my diet to him…hmmmm..either he wants to learn..or he wants to poison me.. .I will find out Sunday..

valentine lady
valentine lady 2015-03-19 09:47:17 -0500 Report

Hi Jib,
I truly believe in his way he was jealous of your accomplishments but like allot of men would rather pick a fight then admit a woman is right. He could obviously tell you have lost weight and in his heart he knew you were eating correctly. Then to top it off you didn't pull out any medications. You showed him up hands down. Now, please don't think I'm making excuses for him. I' m not…You were 100% right , I just hate to see friendships go by the way.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-03-19 10:21:16 -0500 Report

An Arab man..lmao…MOST of the would rather skin themselves alive then admit they are wrong…Lucky for me I have a special one…who doesn't question me on anything…if I said the sky was yellow…he would ask what shade then go get his eyes checked because he couldn't see it…

MarkS
MarkS 2015-03-19 09:16:15 -0500 Report

Awesome. You are full of pi** and vinegar. I love when a woman stands up like that. Just another reason why you are so hot, hot, hot … ;)

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-03-19 09:20:02 -0500 Report

No darling that is the "menopause" kicking in…grin..

JoleneAL
JoleneAL 2015-03-19 08:12:38 -0500 Report

I would have left after I told him off. He was beyond rude and you shouldn't have to take that, no matter who he is. But I applaud you for backing him down and giving it back to him.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-03-19 09:19:33 -0500 Report

Well it was lunch time and a chicky has to eat..plus I felt bad for my hubby and his wife…and I like shrimp..yeah lets not forget that I like shrimp…

Gabby
GabbyPA 2015-03-18 23:39:41 -0500 Report

Well, that didn't go so well. Be saddened, not angry.

It is always hard when people start getting all over us on our food choices. I think he was just jealous and had to make you feel bad because he already felt bad about his own situation. There is still so much old school out there and some people who believe every word that comes from their doctor's lips is golden.

I know there was a time when I would have fought the low carb high fat way of eating. We tend to fight what we don't understand or what looks too hard for us to personally take on. He's just not there yet.

Perhaps when you meet again (if there is a next time) you can offer to share with him how your diet has helped keep you in the 5's on your A1c and you are getting off your medications. I'm sure, deep down, he would love to be able to say the same. What diabetic wouldn't? If he's not ready for that, then I would say that it will just not be a topic of discussion. Agree to disagree and talk about other things.

sweetslover
sweetslover 2015-03-18 21:16:34 -0500 Report

Sometimes, you just have to speak your mind. Maybe what you said will get through his thick skull. I feel that it is rude for people to question and negatively comment on anyone's food choice. I wish others would feel that way. I have one friend who is very supportive of my diet. When she asks questions, she is truly trying to learn. I have another friend who has a father and brother who are both diabetic. She sees no reason for me to be careful about what I eat. Her father and brother eat what they want and just take more insulin. I have tried to explain to her that I have to keep my BG lower by diet and exercise but she just doesn't seem to get it.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-03-18 22:45:04 -0500 Report

Nothing will ever penetrate that skull…if I thought it would I probably would of NOT gotten as angry as I did…I would of taken the time to explain to him why I eat the way I do…instead I flipped and became just as judgmental with him as he had gotten with me…not cool…I am suppose to be an adult…sigh..

sweetslover
sweetslover 2015-03-19 12:48:11 -0500 Report

Being an adult has nothing to do with being perfect. Sometimes we just need to let off some steam. Besides, he doesn't sound like the type to listen to any explanation without arguing about it.

Pegsy
Pegsy 2015-03-18 21:07:42 -0500 Report

I've lost friends over conversations like this. People who are not diabetic, trying to tell me how I should eat so that I can be more cooperative about restaurant choices. I found a new group of friends to dine with. Never an issue now. If they do ask about my food choices, they are truly interested in why I do what I do and they respond in a very positive way.

Some people would rather eat whatever they like and take more drugs. My mother was one of those. She said she would rather have a shorter, happier life than to do so much to guard her health that she didn't have a life. Well, her life was definitely shorter but not happier.

I am sad for your friend. The quality of his life will suffer because of his choices and he won't understand. You do understand and you will likely live longer and healthier for it.

JoleneAL
JoleneAL 2015-03-19 08:17:14 -0500 Report

I don't ever go to lunch with co-workers. Its either pizza or mexican food … both foods I can't stomach to even look at.

The only other person I would go out to eat with is my husband, and we hardly do that anymore because restaurants make him uncomfortable (PTS)

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-03-18 22:48:07 -0500 Report

It will be a cold day in hell before I dine with him again…he has this way of bringing out the worst in me…He really isn't a bad guy.he will give someone the shirt off his back if they needed it more than he did…I just cant deal with people who have zero people skills…