I Lost My Stepmother Today

By Pegsy Latest Reply 2015-03-30 21:41:56 -0500
Started 2015-03-18 17:34:35 -0500

My stepmother passed away this afternoon. I will miss her so much. I called her my "Other Mother". She loved that. She was so supportive of my weight loss and felt so bad for me when diagnosed with diabetes. She really encouraged me and supported my efforts to get as healthy as possible. She told me many times how proud she was of me.

We will be leaving early in the AM for Tennessee for the funeral and to spend time with my dad. I knew for some time that this was coming but even so it is still a shock. I'm having trouble organizing myself to get ready for this trip.

I wondered how this would affect my glucose but so far I'm doing OK. Not running as high as I usually do when so stressed. We'll see how it goes when we are on the road. I don't usually do very well when traveling. This time, I prepared ahead. I have food and drink prepared for myself that I am taking in a cooler. They can have all the restaurant food they want, I'm sticking to what is safe for me. I hope I will be able to sleep tonight.

39 replies

Sopies Grandma
Sopies Grandma 2015-03-24 19:44:14 -0500 Report

any loss any time is hard, I'm sorry to hear that you lost your mom. It sounds like you really loved each other. Take extra good care of yourself during this time. your in our thoughts and prayers.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-22 12:46:49 -0500 Report

HI Pegsy, so sorry to hear this. Life is never quite the same when we lose a mom. Good idea to stay on top of your diet, that will help you to get through the days ahead. Take good care of yourself, my friend.

Pegsy 2015-03-22 20:11:06 -0500 Report

Thank you Dr. Gary. This is definitely life changing.

I'm so glad I brought my own food and drink. I've been able to maintain very good control. It's the first road trip and visiting with family where I have had such good glucose readings. And we're learning new lessons for future travels. I am encouraged that I really can manage this, even while traveling.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-30 21:41:56 -0500 Report

Great job. That is really being proactive! And you're insuring that wherever you are, your self-care goes right along with you. Excellent!

NewSong53 2015-03-21 15:18:02 -0500 Report

I'm so sorry to hear about your stepmother. It's hard losing anyone but especially hard losing someone you turned to for encouragement. It was so wise of you to pack your own food and snacks — it's easy to give in when you're feeling vulnerable, but you were strong — pat yourself on the back for that. I am praying for you and your father as you work through this loss. I can't begin to imagine what he's going through.

Pegsy 2015-03-22 20:04:58 -0500 Report

Thank you. We're on our way home now. Taking our time in order to slow down and regroup. So much emotional exhaustion. My dad is doing OK. I think he was ready for everyone to leave and have some time to himself. He has a lot planned to keep himself busy in the coming months. I'm glad he's thinking ahead. I think he's going to be OK.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2015-03-19 17:38:44 -0500 Report

Dear Pegsy,
My sincere condolences.for the loss of your step Mom. My thoughts
and prayers are with you and your Dad and family now through this turmoil.

Pegsy 2015-03-20 06:59:41 -0500 Report

Thank you. We arrived in TN yesterday. It finally hit my dad and he wasn't doing so well last night. It feels so strange to be here without her.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2015-03-20 09:29:44 -0500 Report

Dear Pegsy,
As cruel as this may sound it's true. As time goes on it will get easier. Her absence will become wonderful beautiful memories. Be there for your Father now. If it's just now hitting him he'll need you more than ever. That's how it was for my Mother when my Father passed time passed she didn't even remember it. But I stayed a week after the funereal. She needed me… just like your Father will need you.

Pegsy 2015-03-22 20:19:29 -0500 Report

This is the 4th parent (including step-parents) that my husband and I have lost between us in the past 6 years. We're becoming experienced at this. My dad is doing very well. My niece is staying with him until August. After that he plans to travel. He will likely be coming to live with us, eventually.

MarkS 2015-03-19 09:18:14 -0500 Report

I am very sorry to hear that Pegsy. My sympathy to you and your family as well as my prayers for your "Other Mother", your Dad, you, and your family.

jayabee52 2015-03-19 03:50:58 -0500 Report

Howdy Pegsy
I am sorry to hear of your stepmother's passing. I recently lost a step day who had been married to my mother for about 25 years or so.

It was sudden. It happened in the hospital after a hip break surgery. Mom is doing OK as she has her sons in the neighborhood to take care of her. She also has a lot of his children around to take care of her as well.

You have my prayers for your loss


GabbyPA 2015-03-18 22:01:23 -0500 Report

As a step mom myself, I know how special that relationship can be. I am sorry that you have lost her, but I am glad she was a part of your life. Remember the good things and relish the times you had. I find, for me, it makes the loss a little easier. Don't sweat the small stuff. Go, be there for your dad.

RebDee 2015-03-18 18:43:55 -0500 Report

So sorry to hear about your step-mother and especially since she was one of the good ones.
I have a story about the Evil Step-Mother:

When I first married my rabbi husband who had four children (two from each of his previous wives), after a short while, I noticed that his younger daughter, Melissa was acting strangely toward me. I asked my daughter Micki, who was Melissa's best friend (and now sister) what was wrong and I was told that Rayna (the older daughter) had told Melissa that stepmothers were Wicked (all Disney stepmothers were wicked and was that not proof enough for a 7 year old child?).

One day while the entire family was out shopping, and without my actually thinking about it, I said, Melissa your mother must have been a very wicked person. Of course she replied NO and we went back and forth with this discourse until Melissa finally asked me why I was saying such a bad thing about her mother. I replied that since Rayna had told her that stepmothers were wicked and since Melissa believed Rayna then it must be true as Melissa's mother was actually Rayna's stepmother. If Melissa's mother was not wicked as Rayna's stepmother, then perhaps Melissa's stepmother was not wicked either. We never had a problem again about wicked stepmothers,

Pegsy 2015-03-18 21:14:42 -0500 Report

When my dad married her almost 34 years ago my mother tried to create in my mind that she would be a wicked stepmother. She turned out to be a very important person in my life. More of a mother to me than my birth mother in many ways. Not all stepmother's are wicked. My daughter will soon become stepmother to 5 (count them 1,2,3,4,5!) stepchildren. Between them they will have 7 children in all. She has always wanted a big family. I know she will love those children as her own, as will we. My grandson is so excited about gaining so many brothers and sister all at once. Blended families can be tough but I think in this case they all seem to appreciate one another. :~)

RebDee 2015-03-18 22:00:33 -0500 Report

I have one biological daughter, one step-daughter, and one adopted daughter. I love them all as well as their spouses and children. I love being Bubby to my grandchildren.

Mando_Lynn 2015-03-18 18:36:21 -0500 Report

I'm sorry for your loss. Best of luck keeping your sugars low during this time.

Pegsy 2015-03-18 21:18:11 -0500 Report

Thank you. So far so good. Actually my sugars have been lower after I got the news. I was up the last few days and I think it was because of the stress of her approaching death…worrying about her, dreading what was coming. Now that she is gone and no longer suffering, I feel some relief. Despite the sadness of her loss I am feeling some excitement that I will be reunited with family that I haven't seen in quite a while. I've packed my own food so I don't have to go off my routine. That should help keep my glucose down.

sweetslover 2015-03-18 18:01:04 -0500 Report

My deepest condolences. I am glad to hear that you are thinking ahead and taking care of yourself.

Pegsy 2015-03-18 21:21:13 -0500 Report

Thank you. I owe it to myself and my dad to take care of myself. After her funeral, his cancer treatments resume. I need to take care of myself so I can be at my best to help him. I'm not ready to lose him too. I need my dad to stick around another decade or so.