Ever feel a little envious? What do you do about it?

Dr Gary
By Dr GaryCA Latest Reply 2015-05-05 20:51:53 -0500
Started 2015-03-08 20:17:18 -0500

The grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Well at least that’s what they say, whoever “they” are. And of course, the meaning behind this old saying if that once you get over to that supposedly greener side, assuming you do, you will find that things aren’t any better over there, either.

But when it’s you who’s looking over the other side of the fence, and the people on that side seem to be having a whole lot more fun, it’s hard to wonder about that greener grass.

And maybe to feel a little envious of the people who are enjoying it.

I often talk to my clients about how they feel when they see how other people seem to be living. They tell me stories about sitting down to a meal, and having to adhere to a special diet whole everybody else orders whatever they want from the menu. Or being in a group where everybody is running around while they can hardly walk due to fatigue or pain. Even being in a group where everyone else is happy can be hard if you are feeling stuck in sadness or anxiety.

Sure, my clients tell me they accept where they are in life. They have learned to live with diabetes. Including the ways in which being diabetic makes them feel different from other people. That doesn’t mean it’s easy.

I wrote an article about the envy trap a little while back. Here’s a link:

http://www.diabeticconnect.com/diabetes-infor...

Feeling envy at times is human.

And now, I am wondering if you ever look around and feel some envy for people who are not dealing with diabetes. If so, how do you handle those feelings?

Any advice to share?


91 replies

horsewings
horsewings 2015-04-29 21:36:50 -0500 Report

I don't feel envious because I'm a cancer survivor. (It's been 21 years.) That puts everything into perspective. As far as I'm concerned, every day I roll out of bed is a gift.

I am aware that diabetes puts me at risk for all sorts of complications, but my attitude is best summed up by the Serenity Prayer. And as long as I'm around, I might as well make mischief and enjoy the hell out of my current good health.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-05-05 20:51:53 -0500 Report

Hey horsewings, thanks for checking in. I didn't realize you were a cancer survivor. Congratulations! I say the Serenity Prayer myself. Yes, enjoy your life!

debcox
debcox 2015-03-17 03:52:26 -0500 Report

Great article and discussion. I don't feel envious of others because I know that most people have issues that we don't have a clue about. I was mad when I was first diagnosed with diabetes but then I realized that it was the best thing for me as it made me get off my butt and do something. I now take care of myself and I feel great. I love my life and don't feel like I am doing without. I have revised my lifestyle and I am enjoying it. I plan to be around for quite awhile, God willing.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-17 22:14:29 -0500 Report

Hi debcox! Thanks for the kind words. And I agree, we have no idea what other people are dealing with in their lives, regardless of what we see on the surface. We all struggle with something. Sounds like you decided to have your diabetes be a wake up call to take better care of yourself, and that's what your doing. Excellent! The cup can always be half full if we choose to look at it that way. Thank you!

valentine lady
valentine lady 2015-03-16 09:33:28 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary'
To be quite honest with you I just don't feel envy towards
anyone or anything. I'm not sure of my age and past life experience or the way I was raised. I fully accept that I have diabetes and don't envy those who don't. Oh I look forward to loosing all my wright but don't envy those "skinny" ladies. I'm grateful for the way I am. I'm happy and love life especially
now that James is in it. That just enhances my life.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-17 22:12:31 -0500 Report

Hey valentine lady, nice to see you! I do think that with age comes wisdom, and we learn to be satisfied with our accomplishments and what we have. As I often say, life on life's terms. And appreciating the gifts life has given us. Thank you!

Fefe12
Fefe12 2015-03-11 00:56:39 -0500 Report

I really think being envious is for the young. I've noticed with age I'm much less envious then when I was young. I have found the grass isn't any better on the other side at all. After knocking myself out thinking I was try to reach a goal and thought I reached it. I wasn't any happier then before. So the point was…I'm so done with that attitude it showed me that what I have is just fine. Sure I still have goals I want to reach, but they are for me, and no one else. Is my life perfect, heck no. But then is anyones? I don't envy those with perfect health, we don't know what will happen tomorrow. My ''perfect friend'' now has cancer. That no where seems perfect to me. In fact that is scary. I have no issue with my disease. I have no sorrow or envy. If I go to a party, I bring something I can eat. When I go out, I share. When I think about it, I don't need all the cakes , cookies, candy that everyone else eats. Is that good for anyone? I have no desire to change my good eating habits for poor ones.I'm not going to be an overweight older woman. You don't have to be. I eat well, I exercise, I love my family. I love my job. What else is there? Life is good if you desire to make it so. You have to believe that you are worth the effort. Ask yourself, are you worth the effort? If the answer is no, then you have work to do. God has a plan for you. Listen and you will find it. If you can't hear him, work harder. Believe me it's there. Are you worth the effort? Believe! I do, why don't you?

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-17 22:10:35 -0500 Report

Hi Fefe, thanks so much for checking in and sharing your wisdom. I enjoyed reading this. The grass is not always so green, as you said. The key to satisfaction in life is to live life on life's terms, to appreciate what you have, you focus on the people you love and the activities you enjoy, to do what you can to make a contribution to the world, whatever that is. And yes, to take the best possible care of yourself! Your post is a great reminder!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-17 22:10:19 -0500 Report

Hi Fefe, thanks so much for checking in and sharing your wisdom. I enjoyed reading this. The grass is not always so green, as you said. The key to satisfaction in life is to live life on life's terms, to appreciate what you have, you focus on the people you love and the activities you enjoy, to do what you can to make a contribution to the world, whatever that is. And yes, to take the best possible care of yourself! Your post is a great reminder!

MaltesePiper2014
MaltesePiper2014 2015-03-10 15:21:02 -0500 Report

I can honestly say that I don't envy anyone. I still haven't learned how to live with this disease. The doctor that I was seeing before I moved here, gave me samples of insulin. She knew that I couldn't afford it and I still can't. I ran out of samples and I had to buy my first vial the other day. But I couldn't get the insulin that I've been using, because it's so expensive. So I had to get the $25.00 vial at Walmart. I do hate being a diabetic though…

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:27:22 -0500 Report

Hey MaltesePiper, that's a great attitude. Sounds like you are really resourceful. Take it one step at a time, learning to live with diabetes is a process. Glad you found a way to get the insulin. Keep taking good care of yourself. And stay in touch with us!

MaltesePiper2014
MaltesePiper2014 2015-03-12 00:58:11 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary, I don't have a good attitude about diabetes, much less anything else. I can go a couple of days with no insulin, then I check my BG and it's in the 400-500 range. I have a lot of health problems, too many to write down. Diabetes is just another one on my list. I don't want to die, but I'm just tired…Sherry

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-12 22:10:57 -0500 Report

Hi Sherry. I got it. Thanks for following up. I was focusing on how it looks like you figured out a way to get your insulin. I am always looking for the silver lining. I know it's not an easy road to live with diabetes, and that much harder when you don't have access to adequate medical care. I am really sorry to hear that. I know you're tired and dealing with so much. I hope you keep in touch with us. Keep doing everything you can to advocate for yourself, and to take care of yourself. Have you checked into local health coverage resources like Medicaid? You might also check out www.needymeds.org for ideas on how to get your insulin. Stay in touch with me. Let me know how you're doing. I will keep you in my thoughts. Gary

Anonymous
Anonymous 2015-03-14 13:33:09 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary… I can't get Medicaid. I tried twice and I was turned down. I'm on Widows Disability Social Security. I have Medicare. I do not have a secondary insurance. Thanks for the info. I'm tired of being alone and living lone. I have no one but me and my dog. There is no way that I would take my own life like my only sibling, my brother and the only husband that I ever had, but I'm giving up. I hate living like I do and I hate being a diabetic! I'm posting anonymously from now on. Thank you. Sherry

Anonymous
Anonymous 2015-03-14 13:33:07 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary… I can't get Medicaid. I tried twice and I was turned down. I'm on Widows Disability Social Security. I have Medicare. I do not have a secondary insurance. Thanks for the info. I'm tired of being alone and living lone. I have no one but me and my dog. There is no way that I would take my own life like my only sibling, my brother and the only husband that I ever had, but I'm giving up. I hate living like I do and I hate being a diabetic! I'm posting anonymously from now on. Thank you. Sherry

Anonymous
Anonymous 2015-03-14 13:32:34 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary… I can't get Medicaid. I tried twice and I was turned down. I'm on Widows Disability Social Security. I have Medicare. I do not have a secondary insurance. Thanks for the info. I'm tired of being alone and living lone. I have no one but me and my dog. There is no way that I would take my own life like my only sibling, my brother and the only husband that I ever had, but I'm giving up. I hate living like I do and I hate being a diabetic! I'm posting anonymously from now on. Thank you. Sherry

Anonymous
Anonymous 2015-03-14 13:32:08 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary… I can't get Medicaid. I tried twice and I was turned down. I'm on Widows Disability Social Security. I have Medicare. I do not have a secondary insurance. Thanks for the info. I'm tired of being alone and living lone. I have no one but me and my dog. There is no way that I would take my own life like my only sibling, my brother and the only husband that I ever had, but I'm giving up. I hate living like I do and I hate being a diabetic! I'm posting anonymously from now on. Thank you. Sherry

Anonymous
Anonymous 2015-03-14 13:31:58 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary… I can't get Medicaid. I tried twice and I was turned down. I'm on Widows Disability Social Security. I have Medicare. I do not have a secondary insurance. Thanks for the info. I'm tired of being alone and living lone. I have no one but me and my dog. There is no way that I would take my own life like my only sibling, my brother and the only husband that I ever had, but I'm giving up. I hate living like I do and I hate being a diabetic! I'm posting anonymously from now on. Thank you. Sherry

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-12 22:10:21 -0500 Report

Hi Sherry. I got it. Thanks for following up. I was focusing on how it looks like you figured out a way to get your insulin. I am always looking for the silver lining. I know it's not an easy road to live with diabetes, and that much harder when you don't have access to adequate medical care. I am really sorry to hear that. I know you're tired and dealing with so much. I hope you keep in touch with us. Keep doing everything you can to advocate for yourself, and to take care of yourself. Have you checked into local health coverage resources like Medicaid? You might also check out www.needymeds.org for ideas on how to get your insulin. Stay in touch with me. Let me know how you're doing. I will keep you in my thoughts. Gary

Anonymous
Anonymous 2015-03-14 13:37:34 -0500 Report

Hi Dr. Gary… I can't get Medicaid. I tried twice and I was turned down. I'm on Widows Disability Social Security. I have Medicare. I do not have a secondary insurance. Thanks for the info. I'm tired of being alone and living lone. I have no one but me and my dog. There is no way that I would take my own life like my only sibling, my brother and the only husband that I ever had, but I'm giving up. I hate living like I do and I hate being a diabetic! I'm posting anonymously from now on. Thank you. Sherry

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-15 11:26:03 -0500 Report

HI Sherry, I am so sorry to hear this. I hope you will stay connected with us. You are not alone. I will keep you in my thoughts.

Cat Weaver
Cat Weaver 2015-03-10 13:40:49 -0500 Report

A little back story is needed here, I have never been a particularly healthy individual having all ranges from female issues cause me fatiuge and pain, muscular issues, Digestive track issues, Re-occuring/persistant headaches all of which seemed to hit from puberty to about the time I was 20 just slowly stacking themselves on top of eachother. Now at 28 I have been diagnosed with Type 1 D, and have had to adjust yet agian to something that singles me out from the rest of society (or atleast thats how it makes me feel) Coping has never been a stong suit of mine and anxiety and depression have been long lasting companions. However for those reading this that feel a similar hopelessness or feel lost or singled out in the world I am posting this to tell you there is a way to feel better, there is a way to raise your spirits DON'T GIVE UP THIS PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS!

I'll be the first to admit to THIS very day even tho I have been batteling since I was about 12 years old I still have days where I just don't have the motivation or positivity to complete any task, I sit, I mope, and than the next day I get up and work to make up the difference, its okay to have a bad day, you are in fact only human :) On those "Down Days" as I call them I like to motivate myself first off to get dressed, do my hair, my make up, anything that makes me feel better about myself even if it seems silly to every one else.

Another valuable tip is find something that helps you relax, I see a lot of people post about meditation or yoga, but for me thats just a bunch of time I spend thinking down on myself. I enjoy writing, coloring, crafting. Something I enjoy and at the end of it you feel acomplished. Seriously, go buy a dollar coloring book and some cheap colored penciles or crayons and start coloring for friends, family, nices, nephews, sons, daughters, teacher, doctors, nurses, grocery store clerks, any one. Not only does it brighten their lives to know you were thinking about them it gives you something to do besides feel bad about yourself and visually even certin colors lift moods and inspire positivity.

And my last tip (Sorry I realize I"m always long winded but thats just me <3 ) ASK FOR HELP! Okay so your feeling down today, you don't feel like doing the dishes, going to an appointment, or just going out with friends because you don't want to deal with the preassure or stigma of being out in this carb covered world, Tell someone, your doctor, your confidant, lover, the friends that are asking you to come along with them. They will care and motivate you to stay out of that depression/anxiety nut shell. (and if they don't come here I will care!!!) You can not let yourself limit yourself!!! Each and every person can beat the "Down Day" Just keep your head up and your Blood Sugar down!!!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:25:45 -0500 Report

Hey Cat Weaver,

What a wise and inspiring post. Thanks a lot for taking the time to share your story with us.

It sounds like you are really dealing with a lot. But as you said so well, you are powered up!

It's only human to have a bad day here and there. But stay focused on the big picture. Not every day is a bad day. And you still have a lot to be grateful for. Motivate yourself to go through the motions of your life, even if you don't feel like it.

Doing things you enjoy is a great idea. Whatever it is. And do kind things for others. Kindness is a boomerang, it comes back to you.

And yes, let other people help you. Reach out to your support network.

Thanks a lot for sharing this! You are an inspiration!!!

Gary

gatp
gatp 2015-03-10 10:38:47 -0500 Report

Actually, my daughter asked if it bothered me when she eats dessert when we eat out. I said, "no, I jus think how much healthier I am with the choices, I have to make.And I have appropriate desserts at home so, it doesn't bother me at all."

oink66
oink66 2015-03-09 22:56:30 -0500 Report

3/9/15, You know Dr. Gray I'm on my 1 yr T2D anniversary and not once have I felt envy or so I don't think that I have. I hated the diease when first diagnosed because it was a coping mechanism, but after many weeks of supportive diabetic educational nurse classes, my personal care provider making house calls to check on me. I stopped being embarresd for myself and started accepting, acknowledging.
Now I feel envincabl and try conquer the impossible.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:18:19 -0500 Report

Hey oink, this is a really inspiring post. I appreciate your honesty here. Sounds like you decided to live life on life's terms, you got yourself educated, and supported, and you took responsibility. That's the way to be empowered! Keep on conquering!

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2015-03-09 21:17:08 -0500 Report

I do not envy others. A diabetic my entire life, I have never known a different life.

Feeding things with no value, helps them grow, live. Try not to feed them. Give others "greener lawn's" your lawn mower.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:16:03 -0500 Report

Hey Stuart, good point! Why waste your time on envy when you can choose to get busy and live your life?

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2015-03-12 21:31:05 -0500 Report

Hopefully… looking for a few more chapters with the ending "…he lived blissfully happily, ever after…"

Don't get me wrong, confident I have more than a few patches of "diabetic crab grass", some I know about, others not really aware of probably…

Got any "Diabetic Weed Kill" we can borrow??????

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-12 22:12:48 -0500 Report

Hi Stuart, I always appreciate your way with words. Blissfully ever after is a great goal to have! Or at least living contendedly. We all have our share of crab grass, it keeps life interesting. Thanks for this!

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2015-03-12 12:30:07 -0500 Report

Hopefully… looking for a few more chapters with the ending "…he lived blissfully happily, ever after…"

Don't get me wrong, confident I have more than a few patches of "diabetic crab grass", some I know about, others not really aware of probably…

Got any "Diabetic Weed Kill" we can borrow??????

Pegsy
Pegsy 2015-03-09 15:38:26 -0500 Report

I am a pretty happy person most of the time. Once in a while I feel envious of people who don't have diabetes because they can eat whatever they want without (it seems) much consequence. But to be honest, if they are in the habit of eating the wrong foods much of the time, it will eventually catch up with them.

Usually, if I feel envious, it is in social situations where my food options are limited and I have little to nothing to choose from. But you know what? I get over it. Sometimes I am envious of other diabetics who manage to get off meds while I still struggle toward that goal. I had to face the fact that this may never happen for me.

Everyone has problems. If I am honest with myself, I would not trade anyone else's problems for my own. Because of Diabetes, I became motivated to get the weight off, eat right and take better care of myself. Despite Diabetes I am healthier now than ever. If I start feeling sorry for myself, I remind myself of that and I feel a lot better.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:14:49 -0500 Report

Pegsy, that is a very good point you make here. An unhealthy diet has to catch up with you over time. And a diabetic diet is a really healthy way to eat. I can understand that feeling of envy in social situations. It's hard to watch other people as they wish and have to restrict your own choices. And yes, everybody has problems. It sounds like you have done what you can to use your diabetes to motivate yourself toward excellent health. That's great!

Gabby
GabbyPA 2015-03-09 14:10:14 -0500 Report

I guess if wanting the success or things someone else has is envy, then I can find myself at that door from time to time, but I don't hang out there. I can use it to inspire me to choose what is important that they have and find a way to achieve it for myself.

The thing I envy most is diabetics who seemingly can eat anything and keep their numbers in line. My mom eats cereal, McDonald's, bread, pasta and all of that kind of stuff and has an A1c of 5.4. Not that I want to eat that stuff all the time anymore, but once in a while would be nice without consequences. But I have big consequences when I eat those foods.

So, as my ultimate goal is a good A1c, I have to find my way to that goal and forget how other people get there. I have to find what works for me. When I focus on that instead of just "wishing" I had what someone else has, then I can create in myself something envy will never give me; that feeling of accomplishment.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:10:46 -0500 Report

Gabby, thanks for chiming in here. Good point, envy kind of comes automatically to humans, it is part of our nature. But we don't have to indulge it for long. And I agree, we can also choose to be inspired by other people. Wow, your mom is certainly worthy of envy. Amazing. It just shows you how unique we all are from each other. And we are each on our own path, in all aspects of our life. It's up to each of us to find success on that path. :))

ReaderReader12
ReaderReader12 2015-03-09 11:22:24 -0500 Report

I don't feel envy at least not anymore. I think as a teen I did at times so many years ago. I don't feel that different since diabetes except for finding a new way of eating that is so much more healthy than I used to eat. So when eating in a group of people I could have what they are eating, but I decided that I would not and I have control over my life and my health. It feels so good and there is just no room for envy. I have learned that everyone has something, I believe that Robin Roberts mother told her that and I find it to be true. Even the people around me who seem to have it all together have something. We are all human. I love my life and the more in control I am people are asking me about changes they see in me. Wow…pretty cool stuff.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:04:47 -0500 Report

Hey ReaderReader, this is a really inspiring post. Thanks a lot! You can view yourself as not getting to eat what other people can enjoy, or you can view yourself as having a really healthy diet. Sounds like you have chosen to celebrate your own healthy choices. Excellent! And you are so right, everybody has something. Nobody gets to have a perfect life, even if they seem to. Thanks for sharing this.

haoleboy
haoleboy 2015-03-09 11:05:12 -0500 Report

Envy can be used as a motivator … it helps get me out of bed each and every day to work on the simple things that most people take for granted.
Strangely … I am perhaps most envious of people that can run. I even dream about being able to run again.

namaste
Steve

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:02:37 -0500 Report

Hi Steve, that is an interesting perspective on envy. Other people can be great role models, just as we can be role models for them. I try to be inspired by what other people have accomplished and, as said, motivated to do what I can to be better in my own life. Thanks for sharing this.

denipink57
denipink57 2015-03-09 10:08:30 -0500 Report

sometimes i have to be honest and say that yes i am envious of those that do not have diabetes. it is often difficult to adhere to t he strict regiment that being diabetic brings.

basically i tell myself to be grateful. so long as i am keeping my numbers in the zone i can lead a normal lifestyle. that gratitude brings me a long way and takes away the envious feelings.

i pray that one day i wont need my insulin any longer. if i am careful with what i eat and when and if i am being active i could get off my insulin and then i could be like everybody else so it is my goal to be so lucky.

i am grateful for my health and with God all things are possible so i keep praying and hoping that one day i will live my life like everyone else without the insulin.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 23:00:44 -0500 Report

Hey denipink! I appreciate your honesty. It's not always so easy to follow that regimen. But as you said, staying on track has its own reward when you see the improvement in your numbers. I hope you meet your goal. Sounds like you are taking good care of yourself. Nice to see you!

Mallacai
Mallacai 2015-03-09 07:27:48 -0500 Report

If the grass looks greener on the other side, fertilize yours. As for being envious i was denied that by my maker. As Cathleen1 says i created my health issues and i now think that i had 51 years of fun so now i focus on a healthy lifestyle and for me it's not bad because this is how i should have been living all along.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:57:50 -0500 Report

Mallacai! Nice to meet you. That's a good thought. Make your own lawn better. It's never too late to get your healthy lifestyle on track. Stay in touch!

Cathleen1
Cathleen1 2015-03-09 07:08:56 -0500 Report

So far it is not really envy I feel, because I am in control of my choices. My husband and I have been experimenting with different resteraunts in town, and we went out to breakfast, I had my low carb meal, I gave him my toast, and he had pancakes my favorite thing. I savored one small bite of that pancake and it was enough. My husband saw the look on my face just enjoying that one small bite. As far as my diabetes goes, I did this to myself so now it is going to get fixed and that means taking care of myself so the better choices I make the one step closer I am at getting healthier.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:56:00 -0500 Report

Cathleen, this is a really excellent post. So honest and optimistic. You are taking control of your health, that's great. And enjoying breakfast with your husband. That's a great attitude you have and, yes, better choices move you forward on the path toward better health. Thanks for sharing this.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-03-09 02:43:45 -0500 Report

The grass only appears to be greener on the other side…it is just sprayed with chemicals and has extra cow crap spread on it to keep it appearing green,,,everybody has their "crap"…and to the naked eye none of it is visible. The perfectly manicured lawn is nothing but an illusion

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:52:15 -0500 Report

Jibber Jabber, very funny! Yes, there is always something below the surface that we probably wouldn't envy so much.

lilleyheidi
lilleyheidi 2015-03-09 00:29:09 -0500 Report

Yes, i used to spend a lot of time looking over the fence and seeing the greener grass, even now I look and see it only now I'm not as inclined to want to jump the fence as I used to be. I'm more happy with myself now that I can sit on my own side of the fence and see where things will go, and what will happen in my own life. Yes, I've had some pretty rough patches, and diabetes, bipolar, fibro, arthritis, and others make life a bit rough, but it is just a "bit' rough, it's not the end of the world. Others can do and eat things I can't or choose not to, that is great for them. I try really hard now to be as happy as I can for the others, and focus my happiness on myself. Like you said in your article gratitude. I have a gratitude journal that I fall back on when I start to get envious or depressed or just a bit blue. It really helps me to get focused on the things that I have in my life going good for me. Some days the only things I can find to be grateful for are my pets and a hot cup of coffee, but ya know, some people don't have pets who love them unconditionally, and some people don't have a hot cup of coffee each day, so yes, I'm damned grateful for that. It's really all a matter of perspective.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:51:11 -0500 Report

Hey lilleyheidi, I really appreciate that you shared this with us. You have a really positive attitude, and also realistic. Sure, the other side of the fence can look pretty good. But you can choose to focus on what's working well in your life, what you have to look forward to every day. A gratitude journal can help you to do that. I have to say, unconditional love and a good cup of coffee can make for a pretty good day!

robertoj
robertoj 2015-03-08 23:23:40 -0500 Report

I feel that it's strange that I don't. Whatever others have doesn't bother me. I can remain happy no matter what.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2015-03-08 23:18:52 -0500 Report

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.
Buddha

The quote from Buddha is very true. If you are envious of others you do not have peace of mind. If you spend money in an attempt to keep up with the Joneses, you end up with astronomical debt. I think envy is the same thing. When you are envious of others you create a lot of mental debt.

The biggest lesson to learn in live is that the grass is not always greener on the other side. You can't focus on what you can't do and focus on the things you can. Instead of focusing on the foods you have chosen to eliminate from your diet focus on the foods you can eat.

My diet is not restricted to the point I feel sorry that I can't have something. I have food allergies so foods were eliminated prior to my being diagnosed. I do miss having peanut butter from time to time but I was never a big fan of it when I could eat it.

If you are sad because people around you are having fun that is your fault. You choose to be sad. If you are a person who doesn't have friends. Ask yourself why you don't have friends.

I got an email from the District Commander asking me if we could meet Friday. He came and picked me up with the Captain and they took me to lunch. I had Chicken Tenders and fries. It was my special treat. I ate most of the fries. When I got back home I changed coats grabbed the shovel and went out to clear more snow that was against my basement windows. I burned off the carbs from the fries. My sister and I were at brunch a month ago. The man at the next table ordered an over sized brownie tipped with Ice Cream, whipped cream, crushed Oreo's more whipped cream and M&M's. Even if I were not diabetic i would not have ordered that. A. I would never have been able to eat it all and B. I would have been on a sugar high for two days. What others are eating may not always be healthy.

Instead of being envious, sad or filled with anxiety, i spend my time doing other things. I am currently taking a Department of Justice Class on line about Community Policing. I am also have learned how to use a jewelers saw and cut copper sheeting and texture it, file it and hammer it into cuff bracelets.

It all comes down to the choices each person makes. You can choose to be envious of others and be unhappy or you can find happiness and peace of mind and enjoy life. I opt for happiness and peace of mind.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:37:27 -0500 Report

Hey Joyce!

Thanks for jumping in here. That is a great quote! Walking around in envy is a sure way to make yourself miserable. And trying to keep up with other people, as you said so well, is a sure path to debt. I see it so often.

You're right, the grass is definitely not greener. We have no idea how other people may be suffering, even if their lives look perfect on the outside. And as said, if you shift your perspective on what you can eat and can't eat, you will be less likely to envy what's on somebody else's plate. Sounds like you made good use of those extra carbs! I love chicken tenders! (and fries)

Filling our lives up with things that are meaningful to us leaves little room for envy! And yes, that's a choice.

Thanks for your insightful words!

Gary

haoleboy
haoleboy 2015-03-08 23:41:22 -0500 Report

Not sure why but I am pleasantly surprised to see you quoting the buddah Joyce.
So here's one from a work I'm sure you know …
"If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?
You never know what people have gone through to get what they have…
The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story…
If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!" - from Hater by Maya Angelou

namaste
Steve

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2015-03-09 00:09:42 -0500 Report

Steve you should know me by now and not be the least bit surprised.

People spend way too much time on the negatives in life than the positives.

I am a die hard Downton Abbey fan. In an episode Dr. Clarkson said "Harsh reality is always better than false hope" I think people have a very hard time facing the harsh realities in life.

People create their own problems and look for people to help them solve them. Face the harsh reality of life an you may find that your grass is just as green or if not greener than others.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2015-03-09 00:09:37 -0500 Report

Steve you should know me by now and not be the least bit surprised.

People spend way too much time on the negatives in life than the positives.

I am a die hard Downton Abbey fan. In an episode Dr. Clarkson said "Harsh reality is always better than false hope" I think people have a very hard time facing the harsh realities in life.

People create their own problems and look for people to help them solve them. Face the harsh reality of life an you may find that your grass is just as green or if not greener than others.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2015-03-09 00:09:30 -0500 Report

Steve you should know me by now and not be the least bit surprised.

People spend way too much time on the negatives in life than the positives.

I am a die hard Downton Abbey fan. In an episode Dr. Clarkson said "Harsh reality is always better than false hope" I think people have a very hard time facing the harsh realities in life.

People create their own problems and look for people to help them solve them. Face the harsh reality of life an you may find that your grass is just as green or if not greener than others.

camerashy
camerashy 2015-03-08 23:00:38 -0500 Report

I can't give any advice. Even being diabetic, I'm happier than I've ever been in my whole life. Mom thought we might be diabetic when we were children, because her father was, and my dad was "allergic" to sugar. (What-ever that means) I have to use insulin, but I'm proud to be alive, even when I have to use insulin in a restaurant, or when my sugar gets so low I end up on the floor in a store. It's amazing how many other diabetics I meet when these things take place.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:30:14 -0500 Report

carerashy, that is a really great attitude. Proud to be alive is right! And yes, I bet you do run into a lot of diabetics a long the way. Lots of people in the world living with diabetes! Nice to see you.

rolly123
rolly123 2015-03-08 22:37:32 -0500 Report

Dr Gary
I feel very envy of those who dont have diabetes!! I have family gathering and they eat everything and i cant feel like want be like it so many yrs i eaten whatever i want i just take extra insulin to competsate with food mean sweets i was exsteemely over weight and finally lost alot but still eat like everyone else sweets alot i have bipoar and i have ups down now want try eat right but its very hard i dont write everything i eat down i get so jealous that im depress so i ignore my disease want be like everyone else!
Valerie

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:28:33 -0500 Report

Hey Valerie, nice to see you. I know it's hard when you can't enjoy the foods you really want to enjoy, and when everybody else is! I am glad to hear you lost that weight. You must feel a whole lot better. I hope you will stay on top of your diet. It's worth it when you keep the weight off and also feel better. Take care of yourself!

allied gardens
allied gardens 2015-03-08 21:57:26 -0500 Report

The way I relate being diabetic, you do what it takes to feel good. Eating right, meds., exercise and always smile. That helps you and others feel good!

granniesophie
granniesophie 2015-03-08 21:51:23 -0500 Report

Yeah, about envious…not only do I have Diabetes, but also Celiac Disease,, and issues with a lot of other foods I can no longer eat, so I can get envious about things people with Diabetes can eat, that I cant! Before you feel sorry for yourself, think about people who are worse off than you, and be grateful for what you can have! Because there is always someone who has to eat a whole lot different than you do, and they envy you!

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2015-03-10 22:22:30 -0500 Report

Hi granniesophie! Wow, diabetes and celiac disease is quite a combination. I am guessing you have to watch your diet really closely, and that can't be easy when you are eating with other people. And I agree, finding something to be grateful for is a good way to help you keep your perspective. Nice to see you.