Hate diabetes , have some chocolate day

By suecsdy Latest Reply 2015-02-27 08:04:46 -0600
Started 2015-02-20 08:41:42 -0600

Today is an "I hate diabetes day". I hate the way it makes me feel, the damned restrictions on what I can eat, the fact that it is wrecking my kidneys, having these depressions that I can't control, not having my husband here to help me with this, having to consider first what impact anything I do will have on the diabetes. I was supposed to be enjoying my retirement and I can tell you, so far it hasn't been much fun. I'm losing interest in the things I enjoy. Just sit in my chair and watch the tv and try to figure out what the hell I can eat that isn't too boring. Lordy, I'm having a bad morning. I need to go bake something…maybe some coconut flour brownies. Need chocolate.

25 replies

BrownSweetness 2015-02-27 08:04:46 -0600 Report

I know how you feel! I hate my diabetes every day! I'm sitting here right now wondering what to eat! :-D I've learned to take it one day at a time! And everything in moderation! Just try your best to get the proper nutrition. I basically eat almost anything I want with a higher focus on whole grains, high fiber foods, nutrition pack fruits and vegetables and home cooking! If you can do that I think you'll be alright! The reason I want to focus on home cooking is because, when our grandparents cooked they didn't have all this highly process ingredients. Also you must move to help lower your blood sugar! It doesn't have to be a structured program just move your body! Sweep, vacuum or mop the floor vigorously! Walk the dog or walk yourself, dance like your life depend on it! I hope some if these things helped.

Judy(JP) 2015-02-22 17:06:31 -0600 Report

I understand your frustration with all of this and sorry for the loss of your spouse. I'm diabetic and also have Celiac disease which means the diet issues are two fold. I have xx%& Diabetes and Celiac days quite often.. but despite all that I feel better now than I have since I was 6 yrs old (57 now) and on the days that I don't feel like doing this anymore I remember that if I don't the consequences could be big… I know reading words on the page doesn't make it go away but hopefully have an understanding group to vent to does :)

suecsdy 2015-02-22 18:38:50 -0600 Report

Physically I'm doing very well, it's mentally that I am struggling. Even though I rant about the D and kidneys, I'm not stupid enough to just ignore the physical aspect. Some part of my brain is paying attention and taking care of business, but another part is just mad as hell about all this…that's the part I need to shut up…it gets out way to often and embarreses me. Having this website is a blessing.because I can let it out With time will come more acceptance I suppose. I need a copy of the Serenity Prayer to post on my profile page to read when I start to feel bitchy. Thanks for reaching out.

Mallacai 2015-02-21 10:21:49 -0600 Report

My oldest brother died two years ago from cancer. When i told him got an asthma attack he asked if i would like to change places with him. When i was going through my second divorce and was complaining my youngest brother asked me if i would prefer to be living in Somalia? My point is things can always be worse. We diabetics are meant to eat and exercise just as we were before we were diagnosed.

Sopies Grandma
Sopies Grandma 2015-02-21 08:17:35 -0600 Report

I'm sorry your having such a hard time. and I totally understand what your going through. Having Diabetes is just a hard thing to have. But just remember that you really are a strong person and that you have and will continue to get through. Hope tomorrow will be better. I too wish my husband was here, He passed away some time ago, and this would be so much easier if he were here. but I know that he is still with me, as your husband is with you. in our hearts, and in our thoughts, in our every day. Hang in there

Pegsy 2015-02-20 16:41:04 -0600 Report

I'm sorry you're feeling bad. I have days like this too. For a long time I lost all desire to cook creatively and enjoy food. It was such a hassle just trying to figure out what I COULD eat, let alone trying to make it enjoyable. But I am getting my creativity back and I have found new "comfort foods" that are healthy and make me feel good without the carbs that my body doesn't need.

You are going through a lot right now. Loss. Health issues. Temporarily not being able to be very active. After your surgery all that should change. I hope you made the coconut flour brownies and have had your chocolate fix. I hope it helped.

sweetslover 2015-02-20 11:58:22 -0600 Report

I have those days, but fortunately they are not as common as they used to be. Hang in there—you can do it. Pry yourself out of that chair and go take a walk or exercise. The endorphins will help your mood. Cheat on your diet occasionally, just a little bit. It helps with the feeling of deprivation. I am finding through experimentation that I can add a few forbidden carbs, especially if I eat some good protein with them. I thought mashed potatoes were a thing of my past, but I found out last night that with the good pot roast and green beans, a little bit of potato didn't hurt me at all. Just don't make a habit of it—splurge when you need to.

suecsdy 2015-02-20 14:11:25 -0600 Report

Walked my half mile this morning with the dog. He loves that I need to get out and exercise cause he gets a longer walk that way too. Would love to be able to let him off the leash to run.. he does enjoy a good run, but it's against the rules and not fair to the neighbors.

NewSong53 2015-02-22 16:52:08 -0600 Report

Good for you!! And I'm sure your dog enjoyed the exercise! I always feel better after I've done something positive for my health. I often do a lot of chair-sitting on the weekends, when I'm not running errands, cleaning or doing laundry. It is sometimes so hard to get in motion when the blood sugar is messed up — I can attest to the fact that high BG numbers cause anxiety and depression. I didn't notice it until I got insurance and got back on Metformin. When I have good BG days my spirits and energy soar — when I've eaten foods I shouldn't I pay for it. Hang in there . . . you will learn as time goes by. Don't beat yourself up, because there are plenty of others who will do it for you. Avoid them if you can!

valentine lady
valentine lady 2015-02-20 11:19:58 -0600 Report

Hi Sue
You sure are in a funk. Sue, you may not want to hear this but I have to say it. Your blaming diabetes for your life and that's just not true.
Your husband not being here to help you through this is not diabetes
fault. Yes, your kidney disease may well be caused by diabetes but I
know your kidney food restrictions is its own thing. So you have a double whammy where food is concerned. But what I most want to
talk about is your depression. Have you spoke to your dr. about it?
After reading your past discussions and posts I fear you suffer from depression like I do. It took medication and dedication to the cause
to get a handle on it. This is very common in persons in our age group. Please take to your dr. about it. Sitting in a chair watching TV and thinking of food Is not normal. Your still are young. Now to get you young at heart. Hugs, VL

suecsdy 2015-02-20 13:26:37 -0600 Report

Yeah, I am in a funk, but it will pass.
I have a referral to health care, but was not successful in getting an appt.yet. I am not a year into this yet, so lack the experience you have in dealing with it. I'm still very resentful of it. and i cannot muster the enthusiasm some of our younger members seem to have for finding new ways to handle this. Once I am past my surgery, and am able to commit to some outside activities again, I think I will be better. It just didn't seem fair to start things only to have to quit or ask for time off to have surgery.
As far as my husband is concerned, I know diabetes has nothing to do with that, but we were supposed to have this time together. I still miss him, but he was so sick…only 58 when he passed.
So far I am not indulging in foods I shouldn't have, partly because I know what it will do to my bs levels and partly if I give in, I might not be able to stop and all the work I put in will be out the window.
I can take the shots and walk the walk, but don't think I'll ever be able to talk the talk if that makes sense to anyone but me.
Most of all,I hate these stupid mood swings that make me sound like some crazy person. I never used to be like this. Maybe it all just makes me feel old and that's what I don't like. Or when I was working just was to tired to feel anything else.
My daughters' dog just had pups and they should be ready to go just about when I am recovered from surgery. Thinking about taking one home. Nothing like a new life to put a little vigor back in an old one.
Mostly, it's not so bad being on my own, but having another adult voice around would be nice. The bad days aren't as frequent as they used to be and have started tearing up the house to do some much needed upkeep. Need to look up some new potholder patterns to spark my interest, or maybe design some of my own. anyone have a good suggestion?
See, it's already passing, just a bad morning, but I still want brownies.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2015-02-20 18:27:49 -0600 Report

Hi Sue,
Just read your reply and enjoyed it very much. I still think you should talk to your dr. as soon as you can (whenever that's possible) about your mood swings. After your surgery, when your back

on your feet think about joining your local YWCA for exercise and possibly even water aerobics. My
Father passed at 53. He was so sick too. My
Mother was devastated that his life ended so young. Same as your Husband. I'm so sorry for his passing. I know how lonely you must get and a puppy might just be the ticket you need. Especially

since you've been thinking about. it anyway. Doesn't seem to be a snap decision to me. Will keep you in my prayers, VL

Pegsy 2015-02-20 16:44:54 -0600 Report

This may not be the best time to make a decision about a new pet. Speaking from experience. I was having horrible health problems and about to go in for surgery when my husband and I made an impulse decision to adopt a second dog. Big mistake. The dog turned out to be a real problem that I had to deal with during my lengthy recovery time. She also had a demanding personality and she was very jealous of our other dog. For years I suffered, dealing with bad decision. I would wait until after surgery and when you are well on your way to recovery before making a decision like that. It could be life changing. Just my opinion.

Ruth2015 2015-02-20 10:18:57 -0600 Report

100% correct that's why I talk about been judge because of the hassle the comment they make so insensitive at time if say no to stuff example I am allergic to pork and I don't eat anything I don't know the ingredients it alway something so I stay in my corner and zone(:

GabbyPA 2015-02-20 09:27:44 -0600 Report

This may sound stupid, but I will say that eating as a diabetic opened up a lot of new choices I have never tried before. Sure, I miss a lot of things, but once I kind of get "over the withdraw" of that, it gets easier. I do hear you though, on those "This SUCKS" days...many of us get them.

I see that you have relegated yourself to the TV chair and I know for me, that is a dangerous place. That is when I eat way too much or I want to eat the wrong things because of all the stupid food ads that are in there. I try to stay away from the TV and do other things. Keeping my mind occupied really, really helps me not focus on my menu all the time.

I eat some chocolate almost every day. It keeps me sane. I have been having great success with dark chocolate covered bananas rolled in peanuts. It satisfies my chocolate craving and is seeming to curb my overnight rises. So you can enjoy what you eat that works for your diabetes. Coconut flour brownies sound divine!

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-02-20 10:28:23 -0600 Report

I agree…I don't miss my "old way" of eating..and still find ways to satisfy my sweet tooth..and have adapted well to eating in a different way. I am finding that I enjoy many of the foods I didn't incorporate into my diet before…but it is very frustrating shopping for food now… ..because I see 95% of what is in my local stores as poison (for lack of a better word)…and I see how much it frustrates my family when they are trying to accommodate me…my son in law made a wonderful Turkish dish a few weeks ago..one that he knows I love…he made it just for me..because I was coming…but it had yogurt in it…so I couldn't eat it…FOOD is always a battle for me…the shopping…restaurants…dinner invitations…I am most comfortable in my own home preparing my own food…unfortunately life does not always accommodate that..I think it is healthy to have a I hate diabetes day…it lets us express feelings that we generally hold in…I like to call my occasional day my "F@&K diabetes day"…Lmao..where I find myself saying that phrase EVERYWHERE even the supermarket when I am shopping…

suecsdy 2015-02-20 13:33:07 -0600 Report

Sounds good to me. Maybe we should all co-ordinate and have it every couple of weeks or so. And BTW, how can one skinny sandwich round have as many carbs as 2 slices of bread?

RosalieM 2015-02-20 17:35:46 -0600 Report

The skinny round has as many carbs as two slices of bread because it doesn't have the air in it like bread. Carbs are more consolidated. I have a bakery and bake bread for other people. I can't eat my own bread and it is reduced in carbs.
As to your discussion post, I am a widow too. Have been by myself for almost 8 years. Have been diabetic for 20, and I need surgery on my spine soon too. I had to cut my business way back, now I have time on my hands. This is a good outlet. But I read a lot. Once you get your blood sugar under control and get a routine, you won't even think about being diabetic. At least I don't. Find something interesting to do. Something that is really absorbing so you don't think about diabetes all the time. It has been cold as hell for 3 weeks in a row here. But I am planning my gardens. Every one has an imagination. Most people let theirs go to waste. Look into yours, you have something that you are really good at find out what it is and use it.

suecsdy 2015-02-20 17:52:19 -0600 Report

I know what I'm good at, I'm just not doing it right now. Unfortunately, I am not good at gardening,lol. My bs is under very good control. I don't know why, but I have paid very careful attn to that aspect of my diabetes. I need to shake this off. I need more 1-1 contact with real live people. Everyone here is great, but I used to work retail and I miss people. I just now realized that. Might think less about d if it weren't for the insulin shots 4x a day.

GabbyPA 2015-02-20 11:15:04 -0600 Report

Mine is called "throw my hands in air and scream day" Usually prompted by "why the &*%! do I have numbers that high?" test results.

Or the other one is "How are there so many carbs in there?" when I am reading labels in the store. I have gotten over than one for the most part, but sometimes I revisit for shock therapy.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-02-20 11:56:55 -0600 Report

It's almost like we expect the same food to have a lower carb count if we wait 3 mos in between checking it…lmao…

suecsdy 2015-02-20 17:59:26 -0600 Report

Yeah, I keep thinking the grocery Will stock Carbquick or a high maize resistant starch flour . I check every time I shop, but so far, no go.

Ruth2015 2015-02-20 08:58:03 -0600 Report

Hi sue GM this is always a battle with diabetes but you can't give up dear when am depress I try to do to fight harder by the day do something you once love start a fresh look back at happy day you had tell your self you can do this an it not going to consume your happiness I been in a bind once too many stand tall with your chin up. Right now in New York it's so cold here my feet and face is burning me so bad but I have to go to work it so cold the way my body is not I feel like to stay home but am not sick the weather is so keep fighting if you give up diabetes win don't let it hugs from me to you.

suecsdy 2015-02-20 20:55:24 -0600 Report

Thank you Ruth. Hugs are something I miss most about my husband . He was big and warm-natured and he would wrap me in his arms and hold me. We were together 40yrs. Try to stay warm up there in NY. At least that's one thing I don't have to deal with.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-02-20 08:49:04 -0600 Report

Yep…it sure does suck…what I hate the most is my family having to accommodate my diet all the time…I mean for the most part they eat much healthier than the average family..BUT I am so restricted even that is not enough…sometimes when they invite me over to lunch or dinner I just say no thank you..because I know it is a pain in the buttocks to feed me…

RosalieM 2015-02-20 17:43:10 -0600 Report

Hi JIbber,
Took a bus trip to New Your city. It was for ten days. Meals were either provided or they stopped at fast food places. I couldn't eat anything but meat and eggs. I even took food along and dragged it on and off the bus. That was an awful 10 days vacation?.. Not going to do that again. Half of the people on the bus could have been diabetes, but they ate everything.
Now I stay close to home.