I thought this was valuable information but perhaps I am wrong.

By RosalieM Latest Reply 2015-02-20 12:28:41 -0600
Started 2015-02-19 17:17:52 -0600

To me the information in the book I'm Ok Your OK is valuable information for my own personal growth. It has been for many people over the years. It was the first time that people have been given tools to help them understand themselves and others. I thought sharing it would be interesting and something we could all learn from. Apparently it has hit a nerve. I certainly have learned a lot
from our discussion. I don't think I want to share what I have learned though.

10 replies

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2015-02-20 12:13:36 -0600 Report

Roaslie, I didn't have a problem with what you said or how you said it. In my honest opinion, I think people took it as a personal attack and that is not your fault. In life peoples feelings are always going to be hurt whether intentionally or unintentionally. You can't be responsible for anyone's emotions any more than you can be responsible for peoples feelings being hurt. The fact of the matter is some people feel that a lot of what is said is directly said to them when it isn't.

This is why I stopped talking to a lot of people on this site and don't come here often. Makes me feel like I am surrounded by a class of third graders. People are so overly sensitive an emotional these days. This site is like a television. If you don't like what you are seeing, change the channel. Don't respond and move on.

You have shared information I didn't agree with. I didn't respond and didn't continue reading, I just moved on. At the times when I told you I didn't agree you accepted that and didn't argue. No one has to like what anyone says but it is in my opinion childish to cause a problem because of it. No where is it written that anyone is going to agree with what is said to them or about them or what is said in general. Wise people either learn from it and take what they want from it an move on. Others get their feelings hurt an instead of moving on, stay and argue about it.

It is up to you to not share but if this is the reactions you are going to get in the future, I would not share anything with anyone here. I am sure someone is not going to like what I said to you but they have to remember I was talking to you, not them and I don't care if they don't like it. Very best of luck to you.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-02-19 17:38:19 -0600 Report

No it is not the book that has hit a nerve It is the delivery system…

RosalieM 2015-02-19 18:00:34 -0600 Report

How would you do it? It is the only delivery system I have.

jayabee52 2015-02-19 22:54:58 -0600 Report

One of the things I have learned over the multiple years I have been posting on DC and having been involved in my share of "dustups" online, I have learned to take my gripes onto the private mail system and air them there. That way feelings are not so bruised as when doing it online for everyone to see.. The good order of the discussions are not disrupted.

I also tell a friend via PM if I think someone is trying to feed them a load of bull puckey so as to not turn the discussions into "flame wars". So if you wish to take my suggestion, if you have a beef with someone take it to PM.


RebDee 2015-02-20 04:39:11 -0600 Report

Thanks James, I totally agree. In this case, RosalieM is trying to be helpful but her mode of "speaking" seems to hit a nerve with some people. And for that I am sorry. I rather enjoy reading RosalieM's "instructions" but wish she would not say "you should" but rather "I do" so as not to bruise anyone else's feelings. And RosalieM, something that you said previously caused hurt feelings and now everything you say is taken the wrong way to cause more hurt feelings.

Jibber Jabber, please try to take what RosalieM says as just the way she writes (she does want to help) and not a jab at you or anyone else. And I am not trying to school you. Just a suggestion.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2015-02-20 12:27:05 -0600 Report

Reb, I totally agree with you and James. It is how she writes. It isn't a personal attack on anyone.

It is like people who when writing says "we all". Well who are the "we all" they are referring to?

Years ago I took a writing class. The first lesson the instructor said is that people in most cases write the way they speak. She told us to try to avoid using the phrases "you should", "we all" and "you need to". Writing styles can change and once most of us leave High School or College we don't return to looking at or changing our style of writing.

Rosalie is a very intelligent person. I rather enjoy reading her post. I look at her posting as though she is a teacher standing in front of a class an the teacher says you need to do this instead of that. It doesn't mean it is a person affront. It means she is teaching. She does teach a class and for some who are educators, it is at times hard to switch between the two positions.

I have never, ever seen her take a personal jab at anyone. She didn't do that when I disagreed with her. I think we had a lively debate. I think what she did was defend her position as I did mine and neither one of us took it personally. I guess that is a sign we are mature at our age and where we are in our lives.

In a post we had earlier, you said "Joyce: OK, so we are opposite in our way of doing things. But we are still DC Friends." I didn't take that personally. I rather like what you said. Even though we both do things differently we didn't get upset with each other and remained friends. I respect you for that. I rather enjoy your post.

I think for those who were offended or took what she said as a personal attack should just calm down and move on. Nothing she said was personal. It was all in how it was written.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-02-20 09:00:55 -0600 Report

She has made some very PERSONAL digs at me…and she is NOT a stupid woman..and neither am I…THEY ARE personal..and because of her intelligence level one can only assume they are deliberate..she doesn't like me although she says differently..she doesn't like her "facts or approach being challenged"…really just THAT simple…I have spoken with several people and the consensus is…I am trying to force change on Rosalie the same way she is trying to force change on people with her post..( I associate with very intelligent people)..I will not respond to any more of her post and I would appreciate her not responding to mine…The rest of you can deal with you as you individually see fit..