I only told you about the child 0-5 and emotional responses. There is more. It is called child, parent, adult. We are in one of these states in all interactions with one another. When our interactions are emotional, that is the child 0-5 after 5 we are often in parent mode. The parent mode is not consciously chosen by us either. It is an automatic response based on influences of our parents after the age of 5. Often the mother as she spends more time with the child. The adult mode is of our choosing however. When we understand the unconscious responses and where they come from we are able to choose the response that is appropriate for the situation, that is the adult response. Some times, but not always, the child and parent responses are problematic in some ways as they are not based on conscious thought.
While the child response is always emotional, the parental response usually has some rules. A good mother would correctly give a child rules to live by. That is not wrong. However the rules that come with out the adult analyses of an interaction can be wrong. A more appropriate response would one by our adult as it is thought through, unlike the child and parent role. We are all this way. I am rarely in my child anymore, my feelings aren't easily hurt. I am usually in parent or adult mode. Since I have started reading this book again, I am more conscious of my own responses. In reading all the responses to this subject, I have noticed some child responses and a lot of parent responses. Only a few adult responses.(those based upon analysis were evident to me) What do you think? Can you identify you responses from your parent? One caution, if you become emotionally up set over this post, you are in your child. This is hopefully an adult conversation. :) :)
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