frustrated by family

murphygal34
By murphygal34 Latest Reply 2015-01-22 10:35:41 -0600
Started 2015-01-21 16:19:13 -0600

I really need some advice. My husband and I have been married only three months and his mother is trying to step into my life and tell me when what and how to eat to manage my diabetes and it is very frustrating. I am still learning to deal with the taking of the insulin and thing and I am very private about all of it. My new mother in law seems to think it is ok to call her sister who is a diabetic and proceed to tell her about all my medical stuff and thinks the answer her sister gives will work for me. I am very overwhelmed with all of this along with my husband not understanding why I am private about it and also not understanding why it is so hard being a diabetic that has to prick themselves all the time. Help please…

Tags: stress

3 replies

jayabee52
jayabee52 2015-01-22 10:35:41 -0600 Report

Howdy Murphygal
I had an analogous situation when my first wife and I were married. When it was time for our first child to be potty trained my mom was on "S" to get him trained. She seemed to mean well but became overbearing and I had to step in between the women I loved and tell mom to back off. Fortunately for us, that de-escalated the situation. Eventually our son became potty trained. We didn't seem to have a problem when #2 son's time to be potty trained came.

My point for telling you this, is you may wish to ask your hubby to intervene with your MIL and ask her to back off.

I know it is not a comfortable place for your hubby getting between the women he loves, but the point is, he has to live with you, and it is better living with a woman who is not stressed by pressure from in laws. (at least from my perspective as a man who has been through something similar).

You might wish to point out to your hubby (so he can convey it to his mother) that his mother is NOT an authority on diabetes. She has to ask of her sister who has diabetes. And there is no mention of how that sister is doing with her diabetes.

I pray your hubby has the cojones to gently get your MIL to back off of the suggestions she is making and let you get on with making your own way with diabetes.

James

lilleyheidi
lilleyheidi 2015-01-22 00:21:26 -0600 Report

It is indeed an awkward situation. I am not entirely sure how I would handle it, but I've always been one who leans towards honesty. I think I'd talk to my husband first and ask him to talk to his mom, and if that didn't work i'd speak up front to mom in law and tell her "hey, I don't mean to sound rude, but I'm a bit overwhelmed right now, and although I know you mean to help, I'm getting the help I need from my medical team, and this is just adding to my confusion right now" and then let what she has to say go in one ear and out the other. Like Jibber Jabber says, just say "fine" a lot. I know how difficult it can be when you've got an interfering in-law, been there before. Best to you. Heidi

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-01-21 19:52:49 -0600 Report

Wow…sticky situation..I hope you don't live with your new mom in law…the best advice I can give you is to not share any medical information with you…If she asks how you are doing just say fine…If she asks about your BG numbers…just say…they are fine today…and say it with a smile…HOPEFULLY this will get her off your back..

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