Rough Start

By Anonymous Latest Reply 2015-01-21 01:05:27 -0600
Started 2015-01-20 01:06:19 -0600

I was diagnosed four years ago with Type 1 Diabetes. We go through those stages of denial and why me and I feel like I haven't gotten out of it. I am almost 20 years old and I don't have the desire to take care of my diabetes… I'm not sure why, hence the post. I think about it all the time, "I should check my sugar and take some insulin" but I rarely do it. I have the pump, and when I feel my sugars get out of hand ill give myself some insulin. I know its not good at all to do but I do it… I have this slight fear when I go to test my sugar, I get mad at myself when it is high and I feel horrible like nothing I do works, and I am really afraid of lows. the lowest my sugar has ever been was 32… that I could get a reading anyway. I am afraid of my disease… probably because that's all I heard from my parents when I did something that wasn't by the books… "you're going to die if you eat that or if you do this" "you don't want to go to the hospital do you?"
I did good for about a year, then everything went down hill. I really don't know what happened. I could use some advice.

2 replies

lilleyheidi 2015-01-21 01:05:27 -0600 Report

Hi and welcome to DC. I kinda know what you are talking about. i spent the first 4 1/2 years of my diagnosis in denial. I didn't take my medication or insulin or watch what I ate at all. I'm type 2 so it's a bit different for me than it is for you. Plus I'm a lot older than you LOL. I was pretty angry about this diagnosis. Most of the time when I tested I was running in the 3 or 4 hundreds, but occasionally I had some real lows where I almost passed out, sometimes when I was driving.
I lost a good friend last June to kidney failure and although it wasn't because of diabetes, I know that diabetes can cause kidney failure, and somehow I woke up out of my denial. I won't say it was over night or that it was easy. But that was what it took for me to make the changes i needed in my life. I decided then that I was too young to let a disease like diabetes win. I had to fight.
I hope that you can find it in you to get the fight back. Best of health. Heidi

debcox 2015-01-20 01:43:14 -0600 Report

I can understand a bit of what you're going through because I have had a health issue all my life but the most difficult time was when I was 18 years old. I was born without a thyroid gland and have taken thyroid medication since I was 3 weeks old. Luckily a doctor found out the problem or I wouldn't be here writing this. In any case, I always took my medications because my parents told me that I would die, if I didn't. When I moved into my own apartment at 18, I decided to stop taking the medication. Why?? For some reason, I thought that maybe my parents were lying to me and that I really didn't need it. They were just trying to control me. I really don't remember as it was a long time ago. I ended up in the hospital with my long time doctor explaining to me why I needed to take the medication. Since then, I have taken my meds everyday.

I have recently been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and decided from the get go to find out what I needed to take care of this. This doesn't mean that I didn't get angry, depressed and go into a state of denial. Not surprising but that did not change anything. So, I got busy and learned what I needed to do to take care of myself and I am doing it because I don't want to deal with some of the complications that can happen if I don't. Also, I want to be here for my husband, daughters and grandsons.

You do have to know that your family would be very upset if something happened to you. Also, once you start taking care of yourself and the disease, you will start to feel so much better. I know that when my blood sugars get low, I get cranky and act out which is not fair to my family. I work really hard to keep my sugars in balance not only for me but for them.

Interestingly, it is easy to get into a downward spiral and harder to go in the opposite direction (upward spiral) but you can do it. Ask for help, if you need to. Make an appointment with your doctor and make a commitment to try. Have you recently taken a diabetes class. I thought it was very informative.

I hope that this helps. Deb

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