Mourning diagnosis

By TammyMSW Latest Reply 2015-01-12 09:37:39 -0600
Started 2015-01-08 10:03:23 -0600

I was almost out the door to work and checked my email (mistake). Upon finding several messages requesting me as a friend on Diabetes Connect, i was once again brought to tears. It's been a little over one week since I was diagnosed as type 2 insulin resistant. Honestly I feel so alone and like a failure because I believe it's all my fault and I can't believe I am actually diabetic. I feel thrust into having to make significant changes that I should have long ago. Thanks for listening. I'm going to like this community as it's not really Facebook material yet. I already appreciate the support.

10 replies

TammyMSW 2015-01-09 14:40:37 -0600 Report

Thank you so much everyone. Yesterday was my first day using the glucose meter and I told my supervisor at work, so it was rough. And today started out worrisome because my pre breakfast/ after waking up reading was over my recommended limit (136 if that means anything to others). But then two hours later it was lowered! (121). So this is quite the learning curve and I can honestly say today is much better. Reading your comments and personal stories is extremely encouraging. Thank-you my new community of friends! It's such a haven to know you all understand and won't judge like some friends already have in the real world. Peace to all of you!

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-01-09 18:40:27 -0600 Report

you are fine…it has only been a week…you, like everyone here will adjust your diet and exercise through trial and error till you find out what works for you…my fasting blood sugars my first week after diagnosis were in the 220-240 range…it has been three mos since I was diagnosed and "all is good in the hood"…my numbers are waaay down…you will find your sweet spot…hugs!!!

lilleyheidi 2015-01-09 00:13:24 -0600 Report

I don't have a lot to add to what has already been said, but Tammy, mourn your diagnosis, take a little time and be sad, and be disappointed, that is okay. But, be proactive during that time, Start your new plan while you are mourning and sad.
When I got diagnosed, I mourned, and I got sad, and I went to bed with a box of oreos and didn't come out for 4 1/2 years. Except to get more food. Junk food. I denied my diagnosis, and hid from it, and watched it get worse and worse. I had numbers going up into the 3 and 4 hundreds. I ignored those, and I pay for it now with burning painful neuropathy.
So, it's okay to mourn and be sad, but be proactive at the same time, do not do what I did… PLEASE. I pray for you you don't do what i did. HUGS, Heidi

Pegsy 2015-01-08 19:33:46 -0600 Report

Tammy, I know just how you feel. When I first learned that I am diabetic I was in shock too. I just didn't want to believe. My advice is to get over that as quickly as possible and start taking steps to improve and safeguard your health. Since diagnosis I have done so much trying to reverse things. I've lost a lot of weight, gotten in much better shape through exercise and learned how to deal more effectively with stress. I control my diet as best I can but still I cannot seem to get off Metformin. My doctor says that I really don't deserve this. That I am doing everything right but… The thing is, I did everything wrong for many years. Decades. I know I could have avoided this and I was warned. Years ago. But I was young and naive and didn't think it would happen to me. When it happened to my mother, I was good at blaming her for her own problems but I persisted in my unhealthy habits. Like Jibber Jabber, I gave up soda's years ago but didn't exercise and continued indulging in far too many sweets and other unhealthy food choices. Was it my fault? Perhaps, to some degree. Was it in my genes? Yes, it was. Had I lived a more healthy lifestyle could I have avoided diabetes? Perhaps. Perhaps not. The point is that it does me no good to beat myself up over the past. I can't go back and fix it. All I can do is forgive myself for my errors and do the very best that I can to take good care of myself now. Today. And if I blow it today, do better tomorrow. Despite diabetes, I believe I am healthier than I have ever been.

Don't beat yourself up, hon. Just learn what you can and do what you can now. Deal with today. You can't change yesterday. I'm happy that you are here and I am proud of you for being willing to to make changes to improve your health. You are definitely not alone. You can do this!

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-01-08 16:38:52 -0600 Report

Just between you me and the wall…(and everybody on DC)…I think all type 2's to some extent feel like we failed ourselves…I know I do…I am not a dumb chicky…I knew all the foods I was eating were slowly killing me…and I kept eating them…and my diagnosis was a particulary hard slap in the face because about a year BEFORE I was diagnosed I made several dietary changes..such as giving up soda..and limiting desserts to once a week…I just changed a little too late…BUT..and the but is really the only important part once you are is never too late to change your lifestyle..even after being diagnosed…and you can manage your diabetes…and be happy and healthy…I feel better now than I did in my 20's..(I am 46).. sure it sucks that I went out to get a King Cake for Kings day and couldn't have any…BUT I have learned to really enjoy the foods I do eat…

ibemaxie 2015-01-10 23:27:24 -0600 Report

I too found I was diabetic last year and I have been so good ..then my hubbie pass away and now I am eating all in sight. I went back on low carb yesterday and messed up today!!! I don't know what to do!!! Help me.. You sound so postive???Maxine. small

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2015-01-12 09:37:39 -0600 Report

Sweetie…you need to realize that they're just some things you can not change..I am sorry your hubby must be very difficult…BUT you are still here…God doesn't want YOU back yet…don't force yourself back…think about what your husband would of wanted you to do…do you think he would of wanted you to neglect your health?? No he would want you to get back on the wagon..and do what needs to be done to stay have already PROVEN you can do it…so just do it again…and don't beat yourself up about falling off the train for a little while…we are ALL HUMAN…if God wanted us perfect he would of made us that way…he didn't..because the human struggle is what makes us strong…and brings us closer to God…

Type1Lou 2015-01-08 13:02:42 -0600 Report

It is unproductive to feel any guilt about what you should or should not have done. Learn as much as you can about what you can do now to manage your condition. Make the decision to change any behaviors that might have led to your diabetes and you're on the road to better health and control. With the right decisions, diabetes is a very manageable chronic condition that need not stop you from enjoying your life…we just enjoy it a bit differently than we might have before our diagnoses.

HMS Sparky
HMS Sparky 2015-01-08 10:40:44 -0600 Report

Hi Tammy MSW! I am also newly diagnosed, and frustration seems to be coming at me from all corners. Hubby, doctor, insurance company: all seem to have dropped the ball for me in one way or another. Not feeling any emotional support from my friends. I think maybe we both can find that support here!

kimfing 2015-01-08 10:25:29 -0600 Report

Hang in there. You can't change what is in the past but you are in the driver's seat for the future. It's up to you if you want to hit the wall and crash or cross the finish line. Take amdeep breath, look in the mirror and tell that person you see that you are worth the effort.
We are here for u.

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