Merry Christmas to the DC family!

Phoenix Eye
By Phoenix Eye Latest Reply 2014-12-27 10:58:29 -0600
Started 2014-12-26 04:03:16 -0600

This was one of the saddest holidays in my life. My mom had a stroke at the start of the month. I kicked into overtime taking care of her. The diapers, liquid diet and orthopedic issues took a toll. She is also a member of the D-Life club which led to many complications. With home care and therapy I thought my mom was getting better. BUT she had a major stroke on Sunday night. So Christmas has been in the hospital again. Now she cannot speak or swallow and I fear tomorrow they are going to cut her open and insert a feed tube. Her kidneys are also going and that complicates the diet a lot.

I was so busy getting everything ready for everyone else's Christmas that I never even thought about what I wanted. And on Christmas Eve I put a necklace around my mom's neck and realized that all I wanted was her to be alive and happy.

Suddenly all the two hour feedings and diaper changes all seemed so trivial. Earlier I felt so overwhelmed trying to manage everything. Now I feel like there is nothing I would not do or sacrifice in order to ensure her well being.

I busted out the sanitizing wipes and cleaned the whole room. For a nice hospital everything was FILTHY! Like months of bodily fluids were all over the walls, doors and floors. I never sleep well in a chair. So I cleaned the floor and camped out.

The staff were amazed that I cleaned so much and disgusted that I slept on the hospital room floor. However I cleaned it well and giving my mom a little comfort was the best thing I could do. I let her hold my hand for as long as I could keep it raised.

All of this kind of scares me because I know what the future has in store for me too. But then again I realize just how fortunate I still am. My diet restrictions are not nearly as bad as my mother's. So in the end I need to grow up and enjoy my health now while I can. More importantly it is time to spend as much time with my mom while she still clings to life. All the stuff I once hated to do as far as being her caregiver now seem so wonderful because I cans how her how much I love her with more than words…Merry Christmas everyone. Sorry I have not responded more, but I have been busy.

Tags: off topic

6 replies

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-12-27 10:58:29 -0600 Report

Hi , Phoenix Eye,
My sincere thoughts and prayers for your Mother and you. I have been in the same situation with both my parents. It's sad yet worthwhile. Hang in there and enjoy this time you have with her. By the way, don't you know hospitals are the most dirty places in thr
world. Thank goodness you cleaned it. Prayers and continued
thoughts of you, VL

lilleyheidi 2014-12-27 02:21:12 -0600 Report

It's heart breaking when our parents are at the end stages of their lives, you are fortunate to be able to share in this time with your mom, cherish this time. Remember at times to take time out for yourself. You can't give to your mom what you don't have in yourself. Blessings to you and yours. HUGS, Heidi

Type1Lou 2014-12-26 18:07:42 -0600 Report

So sorry that your Mom is having those problems. My Mom passed away in 2005 and I still miss her. She was the most loving, accepting woman I will ever know. My brother now says he wishes he had done more for her, but it's too late…it doesn't sound like you will have those regrets! Congratulations on recognizing that time with her is so precious.

BreC 2014-12-26 12:11:35 -0600 Report

My heart goes out to you. I know what you are going through. My father was bedridden for 2 years before he passed away. He had dementia. We, his children, had to totally take care of him. It was sad to have to do some of things we had to do but it had to be done. He had 2 doctors and both said he got better care at home from his children than he would have ever gotten at a hospital. We kept the promise we made to him when he was well enough to speak by not putting him in a nursing home. Our parents are why we are in this world and deserve our attention when they can no longer care for themselves. I applaud you for stepping up for your mother. When she is gone you will cherish the time spent with her. God Bless You

GabbyPA 2014-12-26 05:59:17 -0600 Report

My heart and prayers go out to you. Things like this make us realize how much we love people in our lives. How much they need us. And I know in her case, even if she cannot say it, how much she appreciates that you are there for her. It does suck when this stuff happens around the holidays.

We may miss you here, but you have other things to take care of. Remember to take care of yourself too. It seems selfish, but it's best for both of you.