The Month After Chanukah (poem)

RebDee
By RebDee Latest Reply 2015-01-05 16:03:06 -0600
Started 2014-12-25 02:03:55 -0600

'Twas the month after Chanukah, and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibble, the latkas I'd taste
At Chanukah parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The wine or the egg creams, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—-
I said to myself, as only I can
"You can't spend the winter disguised as a man!"
So—away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of all chocolate, each cracker and chip
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
"Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie—not even a lick.
I'll want to chew only a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore—-
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!


21 replies

Kats49
Kats49 2014-12-27 21:06:52 -0600 Report

So funny and sadly so true…when I look back at how I use to eat I am not surprised I gained weight. But through education and practice I now know I can have little tastes of different and new tasty and satisfying foods. These foods do not spike my BS. I hardly ever eat corn or white foods of any sort except white radishes. Not missing any any more

Fefe12
Fefe12 2014-12-27 14:58:25 -0600 Report

Very funny and sad at the same time. Grateful my blouse still fits! But i know its hard for others. Keep up the good work and don't stop. EVER! Lets not go down without a fight. We are all on the same boat lets make it as healthy, stress free, fun, hilarious, soulful as possible. Hope you had a very Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year.

RebDee
RebDee 2014-12-28 00:28:32 -0600 Report

Fefe: I see your purple hair. Are you a red hatter like me?

Fefe12
Fefe12 2014-12-30 03:14:46 -0600 Report

Lol, I'm old enough but no I'm not. I get lots of comments about my hat. Not sure if I should laugh or cry, I made that hat for Easter. Oh well, I guess I will be known for purple hair! Funny thing is I really have no hair, I've cut it all off. I always tell the barber if I can put a comb in it, its too long!

Fefe12
Fefe12 2014-12-30 03:14:42 -0600 Report

Lol, I'm old enough but no I'm not. I get lots of comments about my hat. Not sure if I should laugh or cry, I made that hat for Easter. Oh well, I guess I will be known for purple hair! Funny thing is I really have no hair, I've cut it all off. I always tell the barber if I can put a comb in it, its too long!

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-12-26 16:22:38 -0600 Report

Hi RebDee,
just wanted to tell you how wonderful your poem was. It made me laugh.
made me think. Your the best…Happy New Yeears, Vl

RebDee
RebDee 2014-12-26 16:26:51 -0600 Report

Vi: So glad James is with you for the holidays. When is the wedding? When do you move back to LV? RebDee

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-12-25 21:31:09 -0600 Report

Hey RebDee, this is really funny. Thanks for sharing this with us. I think those January regrets are pretty universal. I am hoping to not be too regretful. We'll see, another week to go.

RebDee
RebDee 2014-12-25 12:01:19 -0600 Report

Today I am doing Jewish Christmas which means the modern tradition of eating Chinese food (not too many years ago, only Chinese restaurants were opened on Christmas). My friends and I are going to the Hokkaido Buffet in Encino, CA (for the 4th year). I want to see how I do at a buffet (since I usually take home half of my meal but you can't do that at a buffet) If you live nearby, and come to the restaurant, we will all be wearing red dodads in our hair. So my diet starts tomorrow.

RebDee
RebDee 2014-12-25 20:07:03 -0600 Report

I just got home from the buffet and I am STUFFED. I ate about 1/4 of the amount that I had eaten last year, but I did eat sashimi and shrimp cocktail which is what I really wanted. Then when I went for the Chinese food, I actually brought it back to the table and it sat there and sat there and I looked at it but could not bring myself to put a bite in my mouth. The only other thing that I ate was red bean ice cream which slid down my throat and did not hurt my stomach. Wonder how much weight I gained?

Glucerna
Glucerna 2014-12-26 14:36:47 -0600 Report

Thanks for the poem and congratulations on enjoying the buffet without going overboard. ~Lynn @Glucerna

RebDee
RebDee 2014-12-26 16:24:41 -0600 Report

Its not that I wouldn't have liked to eat more but since bariatric surgery, I CANNOT due to my smaller stomach.. But I still gained a pound.