I just don't know how to feel or what to do.

By Alexsmom3105 Latest Reply 2014-12-24 14:57:56 -0600
Started 2014-12-23 20:39:05 -0600

I just need to vent. I went to the doctors today to disgust my lab results. I hateven she is upset with me, I feel like a failure. Being diabetic is exhausting and I am so over it. I don't understand how my diabetes can be so bad. My A1C was 6.1 in May and now it's 6.4 it has not gone up that much. what I am worried about is she said I have protein in my urine again. And my Cholesterol was 148 and now its 225. I don't understand how these numbers can change so drastically in such a Short amount of time. :-( My doctor has given me till March to get my act together otherwise I have to go on Medication for Cholesterol. I know I have not eaten so great past few months but not that horrible. :-( I'm so tired of being worried about my health. I know I can't stop I'm just venting, thanks for listening.


8 replies

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-24 10:57:38 -0600 Report

First of all your numbers are not high. 6.4 isn't bad there are people with higher A1C numbers. Diabetes can raise your cholesterol.

Diabetes is exhausting if you choose to make it that way and believe it. If you believe in that way, it will happen. Ask your doctor to refer you to a registered dietitian who can help you eat better foods and make meal plans that will help you. I think your doctor is using threats to get you to take action and be responsible. I don't think you need to find another doctor, you need to communicate with your doctor. Tell him/her how you really feel. Ask what changes can you make to help yourself. You have to be responsible for your care and not rely on the doctor to make you better. You and only you can do that.

Until you get control of yourself and your diabetes you are going to have problems. If you are so over being diabetic the only person you are hurting is yourself. Sometimes people create their own problems. Hating diabetes, not taking proper care of it, not talking over problems with the doctor is a problem that is self created.

I was on the subway and a woman said the same thing she felt like a failure at work. The woman she was talking to asked her how was feeling like a failure working for you. The woman didn't answer. The woman said when you feel like a failure you chose to feel that way. If you don't know what to do or what you are doing wrong, you will continue until you ask for help. She said I am not going to fell sorry for you because until you speak up you are going to continue to feel like a failure and the longer you feel that way, you will end up feeling that you can't accomplish anything in life. i wanted to hug her.

You can choose to feel the way you feel or you can look at what changes you need to make to help you. My A1C went from 6.5 to 6.9. I ended up with high blood pressure and my cholesterol went back up. My doctor added medication then had to change it. I never once felt like a failure. We talked about what I needed to do to get things back in order. I refuse to feel like a failure because I choose to change things and thrive.

Alexsmom3105 2014-12-24 11:11:23 -0600 Report

She is a very hard doctor to impress. I mostly just hate to disappoint her. When I went in in May I was doing so well. Since then i have been a little more depressed. I finished school and have been looking for a job and still don't have one. I know what I have to do. Now I just have to do it. Thanks for helping me see this in a different light Just Joyce.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-24 14:57:56 -0600 Report

Never try to impress people. It is an impossible task. You may not have what it takes to impress her or like me, nothing you do will impress her. People really can't impress me.

Instead of trying to impress her try talking to her.

Congratulations on finishing school. These days it can take awhile to find a job. All you can do is try. Go places where you can meet people and network. You never know who you will meet who can help you along the way.

BreC 2014-12-24 09:00:15 -0600 Report

Your numbers are high but it is not always caused by diet. Sometimes medical issues can trigger other medical problems. There is no way I would put up with a doctor making me feel like a failure. He/she is not your superior. It should be a partnership to get you to a stable point. I would be either confronting the doctor or looking for another one.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2014-12-24 08:12:30 -0600 Report

You shouldn't feel like a failure…just thinking you feel that way makes me sad…when I was diagnosed my cholesterol was very high..and my doctor wanted to put me on Lipitor..the ONLY thing that stopped him at the time was the fact that my sugar readings were sky high..he said he needed to get my sugar under control before giving Lipitor because Lipitor elevates blood sugar…now think about that for a while and let it sink in…high sugar levels cause damage to your organs..your body produces cholesterol to repair the damage…then he gives you Lipitor which raises blood sugar..and this is suppose to help with cholesterol..now mind you I didn't fact check him on this because he didn't give me a script…but once you start on meds it all goes downhill so one should only take the ones absolutely necessary…I managed to lower my own cholesterol and sugar levels through diet…and I did it rather quickly…before I tell you how I need to you understand I am NOT endorsing any particular diet…you need to speak with your doctor and do your own research…I started a very low carb diet..started at only 20 grams of carbs per day…added a lot of healthy fat to my diet…I eat 4-6 ounces of healthy protein with each meal…a lot of eggs and cheese…my fasting sugar this morning was 99 and that is high for me…I am a little stressed with all the holiday activities..nest week I start adding 5 grams of carbs per week…I will do this till I hit 40 grams..but most can go up to 50 and still keep everything under control…I hope this helps…and as I said please do not feel like a failure…please try to have a happy holiday tomorrow..God Bless..

RosalieM 2014-12-24 13:55:10 -0600 Report

I couldn't have said it better myself. You are on the right track. Many drugs cause weight gain and blood sugar rise. Your diet has got you on the right track as well. Thanks for sharing it. Grandma Rose

GabbyPA 2014-12-24 06:01:06 -0600 Report

Unfortunately, diabetes is a progressive disease. It doesn't stay put and behave. It tries to find new ways to make us crazy.

I do hate it though when the doctors feel a need to "threaten" us with a treatment. Really? Medication is not the end of the world and once you are on it, things may improve to a point that you are both very happy. Sometimes that renewed energy can be put into working harder and you can get back off the meds. Who knows, but treatment needs to progress just like the disease.

Diabetes also messes with the other numbers, so your cholesterol may not be related to what you are eating anymore. Mine was picture perfect for years and then after I was diagnosed it started to climb a bit. I don't worry about that as much as my triglycerides. Those went way up after I was diagnosed.

You don't have to "worry" about your health. You do what you can to live as healthy as you can. If everyone had perfect health, we would never die. It is a part of life that we deal with health. Do what makes you feel good in a good way. Sometimes we create more stress by stressing out over our health. Find a peace, maybe a new doctor who supports you, and maybe it won't be so horrible.

lilleyheidi 2014-12-24 02:40:50 -0600 Report

OK, sorry you had such a horrible experience at your doctor appt. ya, your cholestorol is up, and your doc is right to be concerned about it, but… and this is ONLY my opinion… NO doctor has the right to make anyone feel like a failure. If you can't talk to your doctor person to person and come out with a workable plan and feel good about things then it is time to consider a new doctor. You have to feel good about your health care provider. They don't need to baby you or coddle you, but they have no right to make you feel like a failure either. Most of us work hard at our health, obviously your doing something right with an a1c of 6.4. Cholesterol is typically not within our control it is genetic.
VENT away. Hope you have a happy Christmas and a great 2015 HUGS, Heidi