I didnt know where else to vent...

hjenkins
By hjenkins Latest Reply 2015-01-02 11:12:59 -0600
Started 2014-12-22 20:12:52 -0600

So last Wednesday I finally was hooked up to my pump and on Thursday some people at work made comments about how they hope it helps level my moods out…I know high bs messes with you and I am well aware of that so I take extra care in what I do so my mood doesnt get taken out on anyone but the thing is I am tired of people taking cheap shots at me, people do not realize that their actions can affect diabetics too and just because someone has diabetes doesn't mean their bad moods are their fault alone! Pretty upset by all that is going on right now, this is supposed to be a joyous occasion for me and I feel like now its not, anyone else ever been made to feel like this? I feel exiled at work and judged at every little move but no one else can see their faults


33 replies

Stuart1966
Stuart1966 2015-01-02 11:12:59 -0600 Report

I can be enraged, weepy, blissful, giddy, stupid, or any of the other "dwarves" and they have absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact I am ALSO, also a diabetic as well.

We are human beings first, who in addition to all our other labels, all our other parts and pieces, yeah… we can have a baaaad day and that have ZERO to do with our diabetes, on any level.

The people you know may well be taking it out specifically on your diabetes, and their mistaken, misguided perceptions of it. In which case you have some choices. Laugh at them, pity them, both at the same time perhaps… there are a few choices.

There any chance, you've written a script which got it wrong? One, two maybe… people you know from work, ok. Are you saying that everybody is playing this ugly game?

None of us are responsible for our moods, what we do with them, how we express them, those arenas we can do things about. Several events, or one in particular which created this nightmare?

fedlermary810
fedlermary810 2014-12-29 06:04:03 -0600 Report

just before I saw the receipt ov $6645 , I have faith …that…my father in law woz truly making money in their spare time on their apple laptop. . there great aunt haz done this for only a year and recently cleared the morgage on there mini mansion and bought a great Mini Cooper .

Please Check One Time == >> ­w­w­w.M­o­n­e­y­k­i­n.c­o­m­

oink66
oink66 2014-12-28 01:04:12 -0600 Report

11/27/14 Misery loves company, I hope that you are aware of the fact that when you're upset it makes your glucose levels rise (right?) So Try To remain calm & not get so stressed out. I'm so greatful to have positive and supporting coworkers.
Your a better woman than I am cause when I got through roasting those coworkers from up one side and down the other they would know what to think, say or do! about me.
YEAH they'd really have something to talk about then. Those insensitive, inconsiderate, unprofessional, miserable coworkers. HOLD YOUR HEAD UP sweetie and SMILE at those annoying ignorant people.

valentine lady
valentine lady 2014-12-27 10:12:49 -0600 Report

Hi hjenkins,
you've had some wonderful advice here but I just want to add
No one can make you feel the way you feel unless you allow them to. Don't allow anyone to talk to you that way and by all means if they do try not to take it to heart. I know that's hard to do because people can be so incentive. But I have faith in you, you can do it…have a Happy New Year. …hugs VL

Phoenix Eye
Phoenix Eye 2014-12-26 03:02:52 -0600 Report

I have been very moody since the Financial crash of 2008. I get enraged over ignorance and a lack of intelligence. The older I get the less patience I have. However I don't buy into this two sides and the truth is in the middle garbage. Sometimes OTHER people are dead wrong and you are dead right. There is no middle truth.

Right now I am fighting with relatives over how to treat my mom. I listen to the medical and scientific advice from medical professionals. My aunt refuses to heed the scientific literature and hence we fight like cats and dogs. ALWAYS it is the same. I ask a lawyer or medical professional and they ALWAYS agree with me!

I like to be logical. Logic is about structure and not truth. My aunt keeps saying she has her own logic, which is STUPID! That is because her arguments lack any LOGICAL structure. In other words she fails to support her claims with evidence.

So I feel you on that. I also agree with JJ. That person WAS NOT a good friend if they jumped ship on you like that. Forget them and their ignorance. Anger will only hurt your own health. Let it be, the world is full of ignorance and it is their loss.

Also finding another workplace that is more comfortable IS better for you. Toughing it out is STUPID! You have nothing to prove to those people. However you owe it to yourself to ensure mental stability and well being. Staying at a hostile place just to prove that those people could not get the better of you is a waste of your time. Find your own happiness in this life.

Dr Gary
Dr GaryCA 2014-12-25 21:50:55 -0600 Report

Hi hjenkins! Great to see you. Wow, this is just amazing. I can't believe the insensitive things people come up with, and how they feel it is perfectly acceptable to say whatever is on their mind. Regardless of how the other person might be affected. I feel like diabetics are often subjected to unkindness. Comments about what they are eating or unwanted advice. And as you experience, comments about the effects of diabetes. I would just chalk it up to the ignorance of other people, hold your head high, and immerse yourself in your holidays. Really sorry to hear this, my friend.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-23 20:20:48 -0600 Report

Eleanor Roosevelt said,"No one can make you feel inferior without your permission". When you let or allow people to make you miserable, you give them your permission.

Most people don't think they have faults nor do they want to hear what their faults are from others. Thankfully, I know what my faults are. The key to all of this is to stop feeding them. Stop letting them get to you. These people are co-workers, not best friends. People feed off of other peoples misery and if they know they can make you miserable they will continue to do so until you show them that what they say to you isn't important to you at all.

I just came back from speaking to a newly graduated class of police officers. I told them people are going to love you, like you or hate your guts. They are going to call you every name they can think of. Many do this just to cause problems or to get you to react. Ignore the name calling, it isn't what you are called, it is what you answer to.

You owe these people nothing. They are not family or your best friends. They don't sign your pay check, put food on your table, pay your bills, put clothing on your back and they are not the last people or first people you see when you wake up in the morning.

I would kill them with so much kindness it would make me sick. I would go in and smile and speak to them, I would ask them how they are doing and not listen when they told me. I would do my job to the best of my ability an I would go home happy as a clam. That alone will basically stop them in their tracks because they won't be able to figure out what you are up to.

In my opinion, you have two choices to make. You can continue to feel that you are exiled and are being judged, or you can ignore them. When people know they can make you miserable they do it because it gives them control over you. They may not have control of things in their lives. Another fact of nature is misery loves company. Miserable people make others miserable so others can feel like them. Get these people out of your head. When you do, you will be much happier.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-12-24 18:58:34 -0600 Report

The quality of the answer above, JJ is one of the things we'll miss if you quit here in 2015. I for one don't want you to go!

Perhaps you can follow a bit of your advice when dealing with the folks who trouble you as well.

Praying you won't go!

James

NewSong53
NewSong53 2015-01-01 14:58:46 -0600 Report

I totally agree. Outstanding advice!! One thing I would add is not to share personal information with those people. It just gives them ammunition. I'm sure others are already on to them . . . apparently, it makes them feel superior (in their own minds). They are to be pitied, so don't take to heart the things they say. If you listen to them, I'm sure you'll start to notice a pattern in their conversations (me up/you down). When you can't avoid being around them, focus your attention on those who are kind to you and lavish your attention on them. They will soon be like swarming gnats and you'll just dismiss them from your consciousness. Remember — God knows the heart and — to me — His is the only opinion that matters in the end. Ask for His help. Hope things are better real soon!

Pegsy
Pegsy 2014-12-23 12:36:55 -0600 Report

I'm so sorry you are going through this. When my mood is off it tends toward fear and anxiety. My family has caught on to that quickly and they do their best to reassure me. Sometimes my mood moves to agitation or anger and they have learned to let it roll off and not provoke. Thankfully those moods are rare for me. I am blessed that most of the people in my life are understanding and compassionate. Were my mother still alive, she would be the one to be taking cheap shots at me. A diabetic herself, she should have understood but it didn't work that way. She was the only one allowed to feel bad or have a bad day. I am glad you are doing what you need to do to take the best care of yourself. I hope you will soon find yourself surrounded by kind and understanding co-workers.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-23 20:33:24 -0600 Report

Pegsy, I think people make the mistake in saying that someone should be more understanding or compassionate when it comes to their needs. People don't have to be understanding or compassionate.

Your mother could simply have become a miserable person because of her diabetes. I have found that people who have the same problems can't handle it when people having the same problems move forward and solve them. They are left behind because they made no effort to change.

I don't have mood swings. I use to have them years ago but i worked on controlling them and it worked. I loved Biofeedback. I learned that no one can make me feel miserable, used, inferior or anything else without my permission. I don't give them permission.

Pegsy
Pegsy 2014-12-24 05:57:15 -0600 Report

My mother was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 62. She was unfortunately a mean bully all of her life. It was her way or the highway. Most people chose the highway.

BreC
BreC 2014-12-23 11:29:03 -0600 Report

Being Bipolar and having the mood swings that come with diabetes has taught my family to duck or dodge the verbal blows. I am mostly easy going but have learned to take up for myself. I hope you can find peace both at work and in your home life. Hugs and Blessings

Nick1962
Nick1962 2014-12-23 10:56:28 -0600 Report

Can certainly understand where you’re at right now. I lost a lot of friends, and nearly my wife at one point. My diagnosis was probably a blessing because at least I knew what triggered my mood swings. That said though, and sorry to be the lone dissenting voice here, but it wasn’t all “them”. Some folks made sidelong remarks as subtle hints I needed to change things up. From my long-term friends and acquaintances, those hints became less subtle as time grew on. At one point no one at work would approach me, and my wife was putting in extra hours just to keep from being in the same house.

Yes, people can be rude, judgmental, and stupid, but at one point I had to own up to the fact that how I reacted to those people said a lot about me. Communication is a two-way street, and yes, I had to work on my reactions. It wasn’t all “me” but a lot was, and I’m a whole lot more happy (and feel a lot more loved) since I recognized that and made a few changes.

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-12-24 19:04:47 -0600 Report

Howdy Nick
I want to support what you wrote above, Especially the part about reacting to things. When I worked in a hospital there was a motto written on the wall which said "Life is 5% of what happens to you and 95% of how you react to it." I have made it one of my mottoes by which to live.

Nick1962
Nick1962 2014-12-29 08:37:52 -0600 Report

Hey James,
I think I may have worked at that hospital! :) When I did, for a brief time I dated an emergency room nurse. Her theory was “any day I’m not on the gurney is a good day”. If a little diabetes is all I have to deal with, I consider myself truly lucky.

lilleyheidi
lilleyheidi 2014-12-23 02:51:59 -0600 Report

I really wish that when diabetes was discussed, and the co-conditions it has were discussed, mood was included in that discussion. Mood is definitely effected both by highs and lows. Yes, we can lose limbs, and develop kidney disease, but also can have mood disorders, no doctor ever discusses that, we are left to discover that on our own, and to try to explain that to friends or co-workers, they think it is all in our head.
I have bipolar disorder as well as diabetes, so my mood is all over the place LOL, a real struggle for me as well as my friends and family, a bit like walking on eggshells. I recently was on a major low, but didn't realize it, and blew up at my best friend. I tried explaining to her later that it was because of my blood sugar and not the bipolar, but she would hear nothing of it. Unfortunately in this case, I lost my best friend. Oh well, I have to move on. Best to you and congrats on the pump, I hope it works well for you. HUGS, Heidi

hjenkins
hjenkins 2014-12-23 03:21:41 -0600 Report

Thank you, I lost my best friend too and we work together so it makes it extra tough and seeing her buddy up to someone else now is even harder so I am applying to other jobs…may seem drastic but for my sense of mind and happiness I need to move on

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-24 06:50:03 -0600 Report

A real friend would not abandon you. She wasn't a true friend.

People are always going to come and go in your life. If you change jobs they
win.

Your former friend as well as your other friends have a right to make other friends regardless if they are or are not friends with you. If you don't like seeing her make other friends could it be that you are jealous?

Changing jobs isn't the answer. All you are doing is running away. If the same thing happens at a new job are you going to run away from that?

If you look at this situation look at what role you played in all of this. If you told them that diabetes causes mood swings, that is your fault because that isn't true for all diabetics. I don't have them. You could have educated them. Instead you got mad. People make fun of things they do not understand. They will continue to do so until they are educated.

You have a choice, stay and do your job. Arm yourself with diabetic brochures and when you hear comments give the person one. Or you can start running. Once you start running you will be doing that for the rest of your life.

lilleyheidi
lilleyheidi 2014-12-23 03:52:09 -0600 Report

it may indeed seem a bit drastic, but sometimes we have to do drastic things to save ourselves and I totally get it. Be happy !

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-24 06:59:14 -0600 Report

Quitting her job is not the answer. Facing the music is. If you quit a job.because people don't like you who is to say people at a new job is going to like you? Are you going to quit that job too? She played a role in this. A group of people are not going to do what they are doing if she didn't unknowingly start it. If she is having mood swings and said diabetes causes it without further educating the people, then they are blaming her behavior on a diseas. They don't know that every diabetic does not have mood swings. The person who stopped being her friend was not a real friend from the beginning. It seems her job is filled with immature people. I would ignore them and do the job I am paid to do and be happy.

hjenkins
hjenkins 2014-12-24 17:36:32 -0600 Report

1.) I was not having mood swings, obviously you didn't read my message the way it was supposed to be meant! A common side effect of diabetes is mood swings…most people know that! What I am saying is they were trying to say me being what seemed like in a bad mood or withdrawed was because of my diabetes and that they couldn't see it was due to their actions. I am not jealous of my friend making other friends, what I do not like is them going out of their way to rub it in my face, you are not there you do not know the full situation so you can not pass judgement. I have been diabetic for over ten years so stop treating me like I am a newly diagnosed one and further more I have been at this job for almost 11 years so no I do not consider it running away, I consider it being burnt out and moving on to make my life better.

Just Joyce
Just Joyce 2014-12-24 21:32:22 -0600 Report

I based my responses on what you wrote. Don't jump on me because I didn't read between the lines. I will never respond to any more of your post. Have a very Happy Holiday.

Jibber Jabber
Jibber Jabber 2014-12-23 00:52:25 -0600 Report

Honestly…I usually feel deep sympathy for people like this…they are rude..have no empathy..no sense of how to talk to people…I just imagine how empty and miserable their lives are…and I feel bad for them..happy people..filled with joy DO NOT act that way…just one woman's outlook…

hjenkins
hjenkins 2014-12-23 02:54:12 -0600 Report

It kind of dawned on me that maybe they were doing all this because they weren't the center of attention…not that I want to be…but that I am taking this new step in life and maybe they didn't like other have their attention on that, I don't really know but its double hard because this person was also my best friend

hjenkins
hjenkins 2014-12-23 02:53:43 -0600 Report

It kind of dawned on me that maybe they were doing all this because they weren't the center of attention…not that I want to be…but that I am taking this new step in life and maybe they didn't like other have their attention on that, I don't really know but its double hard because this person was also my best friend

hjenkins
hjenkins 2014-12-23 02:53:35 -0600 Report

It kind of dawned on me that maybe they were doing all this because they weren't the center of attention…not that I want to be…but that I am taking this new step in life and maybe they didn't like other have their attention on that, I don't really know but its double hard because this person was also my best friend

andy1979
andy1979 2014-12-22 23:33:31 -0600 Report

I am sorry you feel this way but do know how you feel , i do have uneducated and uncaring collegues also at times, however as well as trying to cope with having diabeties it can feel you have to tolerate arseholes who treat you as if as if you are a leper for having this condition. As i said a few weeks ago to a fellow worker " try and imagine walking a 100 miles in my shoes" and not eat stuff you want or no longer be able to get drunk no more , constantly worrying about blood sugars,. worker couldn't give me an answer, yet as a smoker she had audacity to say she also had an illness as well- f***king idiot! Anyway as for mood swings i printed off info bout them to prove to work that on rarest occasions they aren't just me being grumpy as most of time i try to see life in a variety of colours . If people cannot show compassion to you all i can say is to hell with them. you aren't alone with this condition.

hjenkins
hjenkins 2014-12-23 02:51:47 -0600 Report

wow,,,really? Smoking is a choice…diabetes isn't! People just really suck sometimes and I don't think they realize how serious diabetes is, I mean besides all the horrible complications…it can kill us and our body is always in a constant war and you would like people would be appreciative that we're about to even focus on anything else but it just doesn't ever matter

jayabee52
jayabee52 2014-12-22 23:26:25 -0600 Report

Howdy HJ
Glad you knew where to come to vent! Most of us understand what you are going through because many of us have gone through things like this ourselves. In fact the word vent in the title brought up an old discussion called "Piss N Moan" in the sidebar. We really could let loose there!

"♪♫Happy new pump to you, Happy new pump to you, Happy new pump to dear HJ, Happy new pump to you!♫♪ "

God's best to you and yours

James

hjenkins
hjenkins 2014-12-23 03:30:37 -0600 Report

Thank you, love the convenience of the pump and always having insulin but I hate changing my sets…hopefully it gets easier

Type1Lou
Type1Lou 2014-12-23 11:12:51 -0600 Report

It will get easier Heather! Congrats on going ahead with the pumping and, gaining better control. Believe in yourself and that you are doing what is best for you…then it might be easier to let those ignorant comments just roll off. Wishing you a happier, healthier 2015!